Chapter Five #3
Frustrated, she stood up and the needlework fell to the ground.
“Do you have any idea how horrible it has been for me, knowing you saw all of those men in my apartment and knowing that because of me, their very lives are at stake? They’re terrified and suspicious, and I do not blame them. And it is my fault!”
He stood up, too. Taking her hand, the one she had poked, he tucked it in to the crook of his elbow.
“Walk with me,” he commanded quietly.
Dumbly, she obeyed. Sean walked her over to the wall, west of the Flint Tower. It was cool in the shadows, out of the view of most. Slowly, they paced the dirt as it stretched along the enormous expanse of masonry.
“As you said when we first met, you and I could be considered enemies,” his voice was low, guarded. “If I chose to believe that, it would be easy. You have made it easy for me.”
“I am not your enemy,” she replied. “But I do not hold the same loyalties as you.”
“Loyalties are perception. They are not always truth.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you should not believe everything you see or everything you are told.” He came to a stop and faced her, his eyes scanning the walls before focusing on her.
“I will say this once and then speak no more of it. You are a young, na?ve kitten caught up in a game played by ferocious lions. They will eat you if you are not careful. Your father was a lion like the rest of them and knew the game well. I cannot believe he has left you so defenseless in this den of animals.”
She could sense concern in his voice. “What do you mean?”
He grasped her gently by the arms. “What I mean is that you must get out while you can. Take Alys and go home. I will come for you when I am able.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Do you know something that I do not? Are we in danger?”
“You have fifteen hundred men within a two hour march of London.”
She struggled not to react. “Who told you that?”
“It is my duty to know that and more.”
It wasn’t his tone that scared her as much as his words. Her heart began to thump heavily against her ribs. She pulled from his grasp, stepping back to give some space between them. She was afraid and defiant at the same time.
“If you have spent the past week attempting to woo me so that you can get information out of me, then you have wasted your time. I’ll not tell you anything.”
“If you think that is the only reason I have wooed you, then you are more na?ve than I suspected.”
Her fear and fury took hold and she turned away from him, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to do.
She hadn’t taken two steps when he grabbed her, spinning her around to face him.
His body was pressed against hers, his face filling up her entire field of vision. The heat, the power, was overpowering.
“What I feel for you has nothing to do with politics,” he growled.
“What I feel for you is purely between a man and a woman. Do not believe for one minute that I do not know why you are here, or who your companions are, or even those passing in and out of your apartment. It is my responsibility to know all, see all, for the protection and information of the king. My eyes are his eyes in all things. I will admit this to you; I escorted Alys back to your apartment that night not for the reason you think. I did it because I saw you leave with young de Braose. Had I found him alone with you in your apartment, I would have killed him. Instead, I found you with a roomful of men conspiring around a table. I could have told the king the verity of my observations, but I chose not to. Politics, at that moment, did not come into play. I was simply glad that you were safe and adequately chaperoned regardless of the disloyal circumstances.”
It was a shocking admission from John’s most ferocious protector. She had never seen such passion from him, a palpable thing that reached out to embrace her. Her small hands found their way around his waist, hesitantly at first. His flesh, through his tunic, was firm and warm beneath her fingers.
“What did you tell him?” she whispered.
“That I saw old friends paying respect to the family of their deceased colleague.”
Now that his admission was finally clear, she could hardly believe her ears. “You lied to protect me? My God, Sean… why would you do that?”
He could feel her hands and the power those small appendages had over him was unexpected. He would have done almost anything for her at that moment, just to feel her tender warmth, her response, against him.
“I told you why,” he growled gently. “And you ask too many questions.”
His lips descended on her, softly at first, but more persistent by the moment.
The heat that had been smoldering between them ignited into a roaring inferno and Sean pulled her into his savage embrace, feeling her yielding body collapse against him.
She was sweet, soft, delicious, and he kissed her as he had never kissed a woman in his life.
Up until this moment, he wasn’t sure if he really ever had. At least, not like this.
Sheridan’s thoughts, as nebulous as they were at the moment, followed a similar path.
The only tale of men’s kisses she had ever heard had come from Alys, sloppy things that had left a chord of distaste in her mind.
But Sean’s kiss was nothing as she had been told; it was powerful and tender at the same time, warm and passionate.
Being held by him, consumed by him, was nothing she had ever experienced before.
She knew within the first few moments of delight that it was something she could learn to crave.
Perhaps Alys hadn’t been too terribly wrong about the allure of men, after all. Perhaps there was something to it.
“God,” Sean breathed, his lips moving to her cheek. “I cannot go a moment of the day without thinking of you.”
“Strange,” she whispered, feeling his mouth against her skin. “We go for days without seeing one another.”
“Not by choice, I assure you,” he said. “The king keeps me quite busy.”
She pulled back, gazing up at him. Strands of her long hair were caught on his mail and he carefully pulled them free.
“This is all so wonderful,” she murmured. “But it is also so confusing. We’ve known each other a matter of days and already we are betrothed and….”
She couldn’t finish her sentence. He tapped her tenderly on her chin. “And… what?”
She shook her head. “I was going to say mad for each other, but I am not sure that’s true.
Perhaps it is the newness of all of this causing me to speak before I think.
I feel as if I am going to faint, yet I am so happy that I could shout it to the world.
” She put her hand to her forehead. “I do not know what I am saying, Sean. Forgive me.”
He smiled at her, a delicious gesture wrought with delight and tenderness. “There is nothing to forgive. I feel as you do, though you’ll not hear me admit it again. ’Tis wrong for a man to admit he feels faint and giddy.”
She giggled, her wits returning after his kiss had drained her of them. Gazing up at his handsome face, she tenderly touched his forehead, his cheek, as if studying a fine piece of sculpture. There was so much character and strength in those powerful lines.
“I have never been mad for anyone,” she whispered. “This is all so new to me.”
He closed his eyes as her hand moved across his face. “Nor I. But I do know one thing; we will never be without one another. This I swear.”
Her hand fell from his face, her features softening with concern.
“But our situations are so different. Sean, I must ask you honestly; when you insisted on marriage, did you even think about my station, about yours, and how it would affect us both? The reality of the other night when you brought Alys back to the apartment only served to underscore that difference. Do you think any of those men would ever trust me again if they knew that you and I were speaking of betrothal? Do you think….?”
He put a finger to her lips. “I am aware of the implications, even more than you are. Do not think for one moment that those very thoughts have not crossed my mind a thousand times. And do not think for one moment that the king would not have me executed if he discovered our ties.”
Her eyes widened. “Executed?” she gasped. “Oh, Sean, that cannot happen. You cannot…!”
He kissed her to silence her, a passionately urgent gesture. “Have no fear, my lovely little angel. As long as we keep this secret safe between us, for the time being, there is no danger.”
She was torn between responding to his kisses and the verity of her fears. “But someone might see us together,” she said. “Even now, someone might be watching. ’Tis not safe.”
He sighed, kissing her a final time. “I know,” he replied with regret.
“Which is why our meetings have been irregular and, at times, brief. I do not know when I will see you next. It may be tomorrow, or it may be weeks away. Even now, I have been gone overlong from my post. But I consider the risk well worth the reward.”
She shook her head. “You must go back immediately.”
“I will, in time.”
It was obvious he had no intention of releasing her any time soon. She pulled from his embrace, grasped his arm, and tried to turn him around. “You will go now. Please.”
He grinned, allowing her to lead him away from the shadows of the wall. “Aye, captain.”
By the time they were halfway into the winter-dry yard, she had taken her hands from him and they were a respectable distance apart. There could very well be eyes on them now and they were both acutely aware.
“The king will announce a masque to be given in honor of his wife’s birthday sometime next week,” he said, his demeanor having returned to that of a predator as they crossed the compound. His gaze was everywhere, scanning. “You will attend this masque.”
She glanced sidelong at him. “I will?”
“Aye. As will I. In costume, ’twill be a simple thing to steal a dance or a kiss. And I should enjoy the time with you.”