Chapter 19
Grant let go of some of the tension in his shoulders as Sierra paraded Julia from the room. Emotions ran high after the admission, particularly on his end.
Kyle’s outburst not only prevented him from breaking it to her more gently, but his follow-up comment about Grant not caring twisted the knife.
He wanted to deny it, but given the medical advice they’d received to keep things as normal as possible for her to maximize her chances of remembering, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to risk stunning her into a permanent memory loss and losing whatever connection they’d built in the year they’d spent together.
He let his fingers release from the tight fists they’d curled into after the remark. “That was uncalled for.”
“I don’t agree. She has enough on her plate right now than to try to live up to something she was never intended to be,” Kyle answered.
“She has enough on her plate without you taking it upon yourself to inform her of whatever you deign is important. Maybe we should have informed her of how dangerous you are.”
“I would never hurt Julia. And when my actions accidentally led to her being hurt, I corrected them. Because I care about her.”
“We all care about her,” Grant shot back.
“Yes, I know. You care about her ability to win you elections and save your company. Beyond that, though, she’s expendable. Like every other woman in your life.”
The words stung. His track record with women hadn’t been good, but Julia wasn’t anything like the others. But he had no desire to confess his innermost feelings to a son who still held such deep resentment toward him.
So, instead, he let the remark slide, only striking back tangentially. “That’s not true. As of nine this morning, I am no longer a candidate for Senate.”
“Really? Figured you’d lose after that cheating scandal hit?”
“It’s too much on Julia right now. I didn’t want her dealing with the campaign when she’s under this much strain.”
Kyle shook his head, offering him an incredulous glance. “I don’t believe you. I think you knew you were going to lose. This way you don’t have to, and we can all pretend it’s because of Julia. You can blame her, not you.”
“I’m not blaming Julia. I made this decision because of Julia, but I’m not blaming her.”
“I don’t care why you made the decision, I just don’t want Julia hurt any further because of you.”
The words smacked at him like a physical blow. “I have never hurt Julia.”
“No, you only used her to make sure you stay out of trouble at every turn. She’s been through more in a year than most people go through in a lifetime. It might be best if she doesn’t get her memory back. At least then she won’t have to remember the worst year of her life.”
Kyle twisted and strode from the room, leaving Grant behind to process the biting remark. He sank onto the couch with a sigh, letting his head fall into his palms.
The conversation with Julia hadn’t gone at all how he’d hoped. Kyle’s presence weighed on him, making the situation all the more difficult.
It didn’t help either that Julia’s sole vague memory was of him. When he’d found them together last night, she’d seemed upset, but she’d still clung to his hand like he was a lifeline.
Ironic that the one man who managed to raise his hackles at every turn would be the only person Julia remembered. He didn’t want to stop her from leaning on him for whatever she needed to get her memory back, but he hated watching her need someone else.
His mind drifted to their time together. Why had she remembered Kyle only? Why not any of the moments they’d shared? Had she blocked them because she preferred to forget them? Had they been meaningless to her?
He shoved the thoughts aside, assuaging his fears with a meager balm that she likely just recalled the frenzy of the emergency room following her accident. The tense situation probably burned its way into some area of her brain, making Kyle remotely familiar to her.
“Difficult day, dear?” Lydia’s sharp voice instantaneously made his day worse.
“It’s not one of the best I’ve had,” he admitted.
“Ironic since it coincides with the day the latest in the long line of Mrs. Harringtons arrives home.”
He heaved a sigh at the thinly veiled insult. “Shut up, Lydia.”
“What? It’s true. I know you. We did share a life together not so long ago. We even had a child together.”
“So what? I managed to pull that one off with someone else, too, in only one night. That’s hardly the basis to claim a connection.”
Lydia eased onto the couch next to him, sliding a hand onto his shoulder. Funny how her touch wasn’t nearly as soothing as Julia’s. “I still know you. And I understand.”
“You understand?” he asked, his voice filled with skepticism. “I doubt that.”
“Don’t give me such little credit. I’m very perceptive, you know.”
He slid his eyes sideways to study her. Did she honestly believe what she was saying?
“I know what’s going on here,” she continued.
Heat washed over him, and he swallowed hard. Had she overheard the conversation with Julia moments ago?
“The sparkle of the new relationship is waning. It’s been over a year. I’m not surprised. Little Doe Eyes captured your interest, and now the chase is over. It’s no longer fun for you. Yet, you feel like a heel abandoning the woman in her time of need.”
He stared at his first wife, his jaw hanging open. Did she honestly believe what she was saying? His relationship with Julia was nothing about the chase. For the first time in his life, he’d made a real connection. It hadn’t been about winning this time. Ironic that the single time he’d not focused on success alone, he’d lost.
“That’s not it at all,” he answered.
“Isn’t it? Are you saying you’re not bored with the little fairy tale?”
“I am not bored with Julia. This is the best relationship I’ve ever had.”
Lydia scoffed at the response. “I doubt that. The sweet and innocent act can’t possibly hold your attention.”
“Well, that’s your first mistake. Julia isn’t acting.”
Lydia groaned. “Ugh, even worse. She’s just that dull.”
“Julia is not dull,” Grant said, the tension building between his shoulder blades.
“Could have fooled me. Then why the long face?”
Grant’s forehead crinkled. “Are you serious? Julia came home from the hospital after she very nearly died.”
“Right. You should be jumping for joy, yet here you sit, dejected.”
“She doesn’t remember anything. Not me, not Sierra. Nothing. That’s…stressful, Lydia.”
“Ohhh, well, that could be a good thing.”
He stared at her, his expression incredulous. “How do you figure that?”
“Well, this could be an excellent time to let her down gently. She doesn’t remember anything about you. Maybe cut ties now.”
“I don’t want to cut ties with Julia. What part of this aren’t you understanding?”
“The part where you actually like her. Well, fine. If you want to keep pretending like this relationship is so important to you, okay. Nothing I can do to help.” Lydia rose from her seat, waving her hands in the air as she wandered away.
Grant heaved a sigh of relief as she left. He had enough on this plate without Lydia’s ridiculous drivel.
“Oh, Grant,” she said as she spun in the doorway, “did I hear correctly that Julia seemed to know something about whoever is behind all this nonsense going on with you for the past year?”
Grant clasped his hands in front of him, staring down at them. “Not anymore.”
“Hmm, what a shame.” With that, Lydia disappeared from the doorway, finally leaving him in peace.
He slumped back into the couch’s supple leather. Was his track record that bad that Lydia honestly believed he was already searching for a way out of his marriage? Probably. He’d never met anyone like Julia, and he’d never expected their connection. But from the outside looking in, everyone just expected her to be a passing interest.
She was anything but. His mind turned toward their predicament. A battle raged in his mind, trying to chart a course to win back his wife while simultaneously searching for the best way to maximize the chances for her memories to return.
He wondered if Julia had settled in her room. He hated to disturb her, but he wanted to check on her. She must be overwhelmed with the information. He didn’t want her mind spiraling out of control with questions.
Maybe he could answer them, and they could start reconnecting. He peeled himself off the couch and headed for the foyer. Kyle led a panicked-looking Julia down the stairs, her features pinched.
His heart clenched. What had happened? “Julia? Are you okay?”
Kyle answered, “No, she is not.”
He crinkled his forehead as he shifted his gaze between them. Had Kyle upset her? Where was he taking her? “Okay, why don’t you try to rest–“
“No, she’s not going to go rest,” Kyle answered with a shake of his head. “I’m taking her out of here so she can think.”
Grant fluttered his eyelashes at the words before he scoffed. He wasn’t going to let his son–whose interest in his wife was obvious–take her from her home in her confused state. “I don’t think so.”
“Stand aside, Dad,” Kyle spat at him.
Grant skirted him to block the front door. “I will not. You’re not leaving here with Julia.”
“Yes, I am. She’s overwhelmed, and she needs some space.”
“Oh, space from this house, but not from you, huh?” Grant asked. “That’s very convenient for you.”
“I can’t help it that I’m the one concerned about Julia’s needs and not my own. Nor that she happens to remember me and not you.”
Grant rolled his eyes at the statement. “She has a vague recollection. That’s hardly enough to warrant you whisking her away from her home.”
“Oh, she has more than a vague recollection.”
The way Kyle said those words not only cut at him but made him wonder what she’d said to him to make him think that.
“Okay, I’m sorry, this is my fault,” Julia said, her features still registering panic as her eyes bounced between them.
“It’s not, Julia,” Grant said with a shake of his head. “I just don’t want you feeling like you can’t think here.”
“Well, she does feel that way,” Kyle retorted.
“I–“ Julia said, running a hand through her hair. “I just was overwhelmed.”
“Okay, that’s okay,” Grant said as he took her hands in his. “But it may not be a good idea for you to leave. You’ve just gotten home from the hospital. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I’m a doctor, she’ll be perfectly fine with me,” Kyle answered.
Grant ignored him, keeping his focus on Julia. He’d seen this panic in her before. He recalled her blurting out that she couldn’t marry him as she stood in her wedding dress only hours after her first time crossing Harrington House’s threshold.
She’d needed reassurance then, and she needed it again now.
Her forehead pinched as she flicked her gaze to the floor. “I read all the things that happened over the last year.”
His heart stopped at the words. “What?”
She snapped her gaze back up to him. “I read all of the news articles. The Senate race, the explosion, the fight between you two–“
“Okay, okay,” Grant said as the panic ramped up in her voice again. “That’s a lot to take in.”
She nodded as she chewed her lower lip. “I don’t remember any of it. Nothing sparked anything.”
He tried to think of what she would say to him in this instance. “That’s okay, Julia. We don’t have to fix this in one day.”
“You would think something in that entire list of things would have stuck in my mind. But nothing. Not a single thing.”
“Probably for the best,” Kyle said.
Grant shot him an annoyed glance over his shoulder.
“I’d really rather remember,” Julia answered. He could have kissed her for that alone.
Kyle heaved a sigh. “But you don’t. And you shouldn’t be forcing yourself to remember, Julia. You could do more harm than good. When I ran into you, you were panicked. Not abnormal for someone suffering from amnesia, but not healthy either.”
She flicked her gaze between the two of them again, the tension in her muscles seeming to ease. She offered a curt nod before she swallowed hard and sucked in a deep breath. “Okay.”
“Okay, you don’t need to race out of here?” Grant asked, a hopeful tone to his voice.
The corners of her lips curled just slightly. “I don’t need to run out of here, no.”
“Are you sure, Julia? If you need some distance–“
“She doesn’t. She just said that. I’m taking her upstairs. And no computers,” Grant chided as he wrapped an arm around her and led her up the stairs. “Honestly, Julia, if someone doesn’t watch you like a hawk, you get yourself into all sorts of trouble.”
“No, I don’t,” she claimed.
“Pretty bold claim coming from a woman who doesn’t remember anything.”
“That’s not funny,” she answered, though the amused smile she gave him said otherwise.
“It’s true. You had a concussion once. And I caught you trying to work five minutes after you’d gone to bed.”
“Well, at least I haven’t forgotten that part of myself.”
He rubbed her shoulder as he led her into her bedroom. “You’ll remember, Julia. But you don’t need to do it right this minute.”
“But this is frustrating,” she exclaimed as she climbed into her bed.
“I can imagine it is, yes. If there’s anything I can do to help you…if there are any questions I can answer, I’m happy to do that.” He wanted to climb in next to her and spend the afternoon with her like he did when she’d had the concussion, but he worried about overwhelming her or confusing her.
Her face fell, her features pinching again. Something was upsetting her, but he didn’t know what. Was it just the lost memories or was there something else? Did she really not want to be here?
He eased onto the edge of the bed and took her hands in his. “Julia, what is it? Something is bothering you.”
“You mean outside of the life I can’t remember?”
“Yes, I mean outside of that. I want to help. Just tell me how.”
“I can’t,” she said, her voice trembling slightly.
“Why not?”
She studied him for a moment, her fingers tightening around his. “I have one memory. One. And I shouldn’t have it. Why do I have it?”
“You remembered something?” His heart lifted, though it was tempered by her odd statement that she shouldn’t have the memory.
“No. Well, yes, but it’s not new. I didn’t–I’ve remembered it since the hospital.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Uh,” she stammered as she studied him again.
“Julia?”
“Well, I…didn’t think it was appropriate to say anything when I thought I was married.”
“You are married.”
“For love, I meant.”
The words crushed him, though he tried to remember that she didn’t recall anything of their lives together.
“The memory…as soon as I saw Kyle…”
Grant narrowed his eyes at her as a sinking dread started to fill him.
“I remembered him kissing me. I couldn’t figure out why I would remember that. Why is that the one memory I have?”
He swallowed hard, trying to compose himself. He hated that this was her single memory. He’d hoped she’d just had fleeting memories of Kyle treating her when she’d come into the emergency room in critical condition. Instead, she recalled a moment that incensed him and nearly brought them to blows.
He tried to remain calm. Amnesia is an odd thing, the doctor said. But one question loomed in his mind and clenched his heart. Did this memory stick in her mind because she had feelings for Kyle and not him?