CHAPTER 2
Nitro’s adrenaline-rage tripled when Lesion entered the curtained square. He held his jaw together, knowing he was the only one who could fix whatever had gone wrong. He’d been tied to a fucking hospital bed, waiting for the symptoms to dissipate enough that he was considered safe enough to see Felix.
“Brother,” Lesion said, regret at the forefront. “I’m sorry.”
Nitro continued holding his tongue, needing to spit at him even while hearing the sincerity in his tone. He blamed whatever still had a hold of his blood, every so many minutes, a monster’s fury sparked as if hanging on as long as it could to its host.
“The latest tests show that your levels are nearly normal.”
“When can I see her?” Shards of pain lit up his throat from when he’d waken up tied, terror for what he’d done throwing him into a rabid panic mixed with fury.
Lesion stared at him, his regret stirring his anger again. “She’ll see you as soon as I leave. I wanted to explain some things to you.”
Nitro eyed him, not liking the caution in his tone.
“It’s about what she gave you. I didn’t tell her that…she overdosed you. She was already blaming herself and I’m willing to say I misjudged the calculation to prevent more damage to her psyche.”
New pain split his chest open and his breaths shook as he looked down. “Let me see her. Please,” he added, his grief sawing the word in half.
“Lukas, I will not stop until you are better than better.”
Nitro shook his head slowly at the bed. “I will always fear for her life now. You have no idea what it felt like.” He raised his gaze to him. “I loved…every second of it, Leandro.” His tongue moved in his mouth, watering at just mentioning it. “Right now…I can still taste her blood.” He pressed his lips together when that hunger sliced him. “I have never been addicted to anything. But I am,” he assured quietly. “I can’t imagine ever not wanting it. Or how I lived without it. What have I become?” he whispered, fear turning his breaths shallow. “And the sex,” he added, shaking his head, looking at him. “How will I evernot need to do that?”
Lesion lowered his head. “I will find a way to give you control.” He leveled his eyes on him after a few seconds. “You will get control. I can’t guarantee you will never have the symptoms you experienced but I can assure you I will find a way for you to master them. Control will change everything. I will ensure that these effects become your greatest assets.” Lesion stepped closer, urgency in his gaze. “Do you know why those bats didn”t attack?” he whispered, eagerly.
Nitro held his stare, barely shaking his head even as he knew.
“You are their general now. And you will learn control because that’s who you are. And you will turn these things that feel like your greatest weakness into your greatest strengths. And weapons.”
Lesion’s excitement was not fucking shared.
“I had a couple more questions before she comes.”
Nitro didn’t move his stare from the bed.
“I’m trying to categorize the symptoms to determine which belongs to the bats and which to the human. And which may be a mix of both.” He raised his gaze, watching him as he came even closer. “The need to hunt is a universal primal instinct to both man and animal,” he said quieter. “But…I need to know what you were thinking and feeling during…mating. You drank her blood at the point of release, and I need to understand and discover a connection if there is one.”
“A connection to what?” he said, acid coating his tongue.
“To anything,” he said, his eager curiosity rubbing him ten kinds of wrong.
“I fucked her… in front of Seth,” he began. “And this very second, I want to kill him for seeing it. When I orgasmed, drinking her blood was not some sudden idea, it was part of it. I don’t ever remember not knowing her blood will always be required when I…” He glared at him then tore his gaze from his medicinal fucking stare. “I want it still,” he shuddered, realizing he was shaking like a drug addict having withdrawals. He closed his eyes, his jaw clenched and aching. “I bit her… so fucking hard,” he said, raising his gaze to his. “I could hear her every breath. I could smell her fear. Her arousal. And those bats,” he seethed, shaking his head at remembering. “They were afraid of me. They wanted to help her but couldn’t. Because of me,” he accused.
“But you never wanted to… kill her.”
He shook his head. “When I sent her through that window, it wasn’t to save her life. It wasn’t for her safety. It was so I could hunt her. Capture her. And when I did, I wanted to play with her like a psycho gorilla plays with its stuffed animal before ripping it to shreds.”
“I shot you with two sedatives and I’m not sure what you remember before going down.”
“I was…drinking her blood while having the most…” He closed his eyes. “There are no words to explain just how fucking amazing it was.”
“Try,” Lesion urged. “These details matter greatly.”
Nitro easily reconnected with the experience. “Was like…my dick, my orgasm was somehow also tied to my…teeth and tongue, I don’t know how else to say it. It was like…almost like an exchange. Seed for blood. I somehow know they can’t exist without the other.” He searched Lesion”s hot gaze. “Please tell me you hear how stupid that sounds.”
“It”s not stupid,” Lesion assured, as though realizing something. “A mix of ancient primal urges and instincts is what this is. Life is in the blood and the seed. The two are the same. One contains life, and the other also contains life but… in a different form. Mixing both is like… giving life for life. It’s a vow, a pact. A mating ritual.”
“God,” Nitro croaked, his head dropping to the pillow. “I’m a fucking animal.”
“Oh, you’re a lot more than that,” Lesion eagerly informed, sounding like the proud creator of a swamp Frankenstein. “You’re like… a Bayou Hematarch.”
Nitro brought his head forward, glaring at his Voodoo-freak brother. “Fucking English.”
Lesion’s alchemy-addictions celebrated in his passionate eyes now lasered on his. “It means… Bayou Blood King.”
****
Cat paced in living room, going over the morning Ethan encounter. So many things about himself he sort of revealed. Make yourself at home. It’s also yours, he’d added, making the situation a lot more…real than ever before. It was also hers. He was also hers. Yeah, that’s what had her pacing the floors. He was hers. She was his. With marital… stipulations. If that’s what they were even called.
She paused in the middle of the floor just to relive the feel of his lips on her forehead. Tonight. Will you wait for me? Obligation had no place in it, he’d said. And then he’d turned around and said he was doing it exactly for that. Obligation. Whatever she wanted.
So, she had to want it, but he didn’t have to?
Back to pacing and headshaking.
That wasn’t right. Or fair.
Did he think as the husband that was just his job? Well, it was her job as a wife to submit to her husband, wasn’t it? He’d included himself in the ‘whatever she wanted he gave’ department just the night before. Which meant he could want. So…did he not want it or did he? And why not just say so?
She stopped again. “Big G?” she called.
“Yes, Cat?” he answered, like he’d been sitting there quietly the entire time.
“Do you know about the uh…marriage arrangements between me and Ethan?”
“I do, yes.”
She considered that. “Are you allowed to elaborate?”
“Ethan has asked I not contribute to the progression of your relationship. He would like to do it alone.”
Huh. “Is that…a new directive?”
“Yes. Given before he left.”
“To…AL too?”
“Yes. Is there anything else you would like to know that I’m permitted to speak about?”
She turned her body as an idea hit her. “Has…Ethan ever had a girlfriend?”
“He had a wife.”
Oh shit. So that wasn’t some metaphor. “The five minute one?”
“A week.”
She paced again, wrapping her arms around her midsection. “I don’t want to pry into things he’d rather tell me himself but…I feel like…if I’m going to help him or be what he needs, I need to know what that is.”
“He should have made those needs known to you in the marriage proposal.”
Oh yeah. “He did, but…I feel like he left out a lot. The stuff I need to know to help him in other ways.”
“What other ways would that be?”
She forced herself to sit and be still. “The intimacy. I know he has needs and he’s not really…letting me do anything for that.”
“I’m sure he will get to that soon.”
Her tummy flipped at that. “He wants to…teach me things.”
“Ethan is a very capable teacher.”
Right. He’d had practice. How much, she wondered. “So… how long…was he…with this woman before they married?”
“Two years and one month.”
Wow. That’s a lot of time to…practice. “Was she from here?”
“Yes.”
Shit. “That’s not my business. I don’t even want to know, really.”
“Ethan has not forbid me to say.”
Shit, shit. “Nope. Still don’t want to know. Was she pretty?”
“He often spoke of her beauty to us.”
“To you and AL?” she wondered, her stomach knotting more.
“Yes. Ethan considers us his brothers.”
She paused at that. “Like…literally?”
“Yes.”
It suddenly hit her. “What about his real family?”
“Ethan’s mother and father abandoned him at thirteen. He has no siblings. The Bishops took him in and raised him.”
Her jaw dropped with a gasp. “Oh my God,” she whispered, her heart aching at that news. “So…he has no family?”
“AL and I are his family. And The Bishops. And now you.”
She paced in dizzying circles, hand over her mouth at that news, his handsome sweet smile flashing in her mind and stealing her breath. And heart now. She froze her steps and lowered her hand. “How…did Ethan take it when…this woman betrayed him?”
“Following the betrayal, Ethan underwent a dramatic transformation. He joined the Noctambule war and after was invited by the leader of the Bishops to become a leader in The Twelve. The celibacy requirement proved to be both sword and savior, allowing him to sever the dark ties and cut a path for new ones. The decision had a profound impact on his lifestyle choices and his psychological resilience, allowing him to channel energies elsewhere as both a coping mechanism and means of mastering his appetites.”
So… celibacy was his safety. Panic hit her at realizing. He was being forced to take a wife! Oh God, that’s why he didn’t want her! Whatever you want, I want.
Sickness churned her stomach. “So, Ethan doesn’t even want this.”
“Ethan very much wants this.”
“You said his celibacy saved his life! And now he’s being forced to get a wife, a-a woman, a stranger,” she realized, horrified, “to do things that nearly killed him before? Are you shitting me here?”
“Ethan has grown to realize that while he doesn’t have the power to change the past, he can use it to rewrite his future.”
Cat came to a halt at those precious words, nodding. “You’re so right.” She considered what he was probably going through. Plenty of worry and fear. “Which explains all his parameters he’s put up.”
“The parameters serve as both a guard and learning tool.”
It suddenly dawned on her. His parameters in their marriage arrangement were tactical maneuvers in the name of self-preservation. With just cause.
But then…
She turned, feeling like Big G was on her right for some reason. “He chose me because I didn’t need a man or sex. Doesn’t sound to me like he’s wanting to rewrite anything but rather pretend he’s rewriting something.”
“Perhaps, yes,” Big G said, his tone begging for interpretation.
“I heard a big unless in that one.” She was pacing again. “I bet AL is dying to talk right now and tell me all the missing pieces.”
“He is.”
Cat had to snicker at that one. “Big brother wanting to protect?”
“Little brother wanting to help his big brother find real happiness.”
Cat froze, putting her hand over the pain biting in her chest at that one. “Well…I want to help. If I knew how.”
“Just let him lead,” Big G said.
“Are you sure?” she wondered, not convinced with that. “He seems to be moving in a different direction than you think.”
“In this, the road is what will direct the destination.”
“To his true happiness?” she felt like she needed to double-check.
“To what truly fulfills him.”
Which was what? “Does he even know what that is?”
“The road he’s on will remind him what has always fulfilled him and how to achieve it again.”
“Again? He’s been fulfilled before? Please don’t say with that girl who betrayed him.”
“Okay.”
“It is!?” she cried with a blasted breath. “I do not want to be her replacement!”
“She was never the one, Cat. But I believe you are a more succinct fit.”
She paused at that, her pulse roaring. “And…what does AL think?”
“AL’s data has been heavily influenced by the emotional and psychological traumas of Ethan over the years.”
“Which amounts to he doesn’t approve of me.”
“He does not.”
Okay. That was a big ouch. “Why?” she whispered, so damn sad about it.
“I’m afraid that answer would violate Ethan’s directive for staying out of it.”
Right. “And if I ask, he’ll know we’ve been talking,” she also realized. “I don’t want to get anybody in trouble but…I need to know things. I’ll try to find a way to learn my answers without ratting on anybody.”
“We hold your concern in high regard with much appreciation.”
Huh. “AL too?”
“Yes. AL too.”
****
Ethan couldn’t believe all the shit that happened in the twelve hours he’d been with Cat. “He’s still at the hospital?” he asked Bishop.
“Yes, and Felix. Mostly she’s there because he is. They moved her bed in the basement with his, last I heard.”
“What about Samuel’s dad? They know what’s wrong with him?”
“Other than he’s in a coma, no fucking clue. Samuel refuses to leave his bedside. Keeps saying he has to hold his hand. I don’t know what that means but seeing him like that gutted me. A son terrified to lose his father. Again. I’m sure you can relate.”
“I’m sure I can’t,” he was positive. “Thankfully, I lost the ability to feel anything where they’re concerned. I have as much emotion for them as I have for a paperclip.”
“I know what it’s like to need to kill things. But it’s also messy and can deaden the parts you may need later.”
Something about that felt true for Ethan and he almost asked for details. Maybe later. He remembered his reason for calling. “You mentioned mandatory classes for The Twelve. I’m ready for the resources required for that. You mentioned…physical things.”
Ethan usually enjoyed hearing his Eveque laugh but not in regard to this. He took a breath, waiting for him to finish.
“So, you’re already there, are you?”
“Just want to see what’s coming so I can plan for it.”
“Oui, oui, and that’s very important. I think I heard my Belle Eveque say she will be emailing things to those who have that capability. Would you like the material delivered like this?”
Hmm. That would mean Big G and AL would see it. “Is there a physical copy I can borrow for now?”
“Oh, you can also order a copy,” he remembered. “Ours is a bit…worn.”
“Oh,” Ethan said, his disgust coming through which put Eveque in hysterics. “You sound like a man needing a lot of comic relief.”
He finally caught his breath with a dramatic, “Ouuuuuiiiiii!”
“Maybe Belle Eveque can print a copy for me. My printer is being stupid.”
“I’ll let her know immediately.”
“Thank you.”
“Mmhmm. Done.”
“Oh, you already did it.”
“Oui, mon Pierre,” he barely chided. “I have your back, I told you this. And where is your lil menou now?”
“Waiting for me at my home,” he said, ready to get that reveal out of the way.”
“The Hack House?”
“No, my actual home.”
“Mon Dieu, this is really serious!”
“Must you? Constantly? Geeze,” he muttered, moving the phone from his ear when his laughter returned with a vengeance. “Therapeutic?” he called around the racket.
“Oh ouiiiii,” he bellowed, again catching his breath.
“What about you, what has you in such desperate straits you’d torture the elite of The Twelve?”
“Shall I list it?” Bishop asked.
“If it helps.”
“Nitro, poor Felix, Seer and his father, the fucking cunt ex mole whore, a hurricane right on track still, my daughter dating my new son, and my son dating my new daughter. Oh and Hurricane walking in on my Mah-Mah and Pah-Pah fucking like rabbits in the bath house.”
8-Bit busted out laughing at that. “You’re kidding.”
“You should have heard him. How it used to be a respectable place now people were fucking all over the lawns.”
8-Bit howled with Bishop now, imagining it. “He’s so fucking ready for a woman, isn’t he?”
“Dieu, oui!” Bishop said with great emphasis.
A dense ache filled him suddenly and it dawned on him how much he missed gathering with his brothers. “Hey, I wanted to ask where that Swamp Stop is that has women’s clothes. Can’t remember the name of it.”
“Jolie Denelle?”
“Yes. Where the hell is that again?”
“That’s on the outskirts of Bacon’s hatch I believe. I think you go five minutes north from the mainland and hang a left at the Devil’s Wrist.”
“I remember now. Haven’t been out that way in a while.”
“So, you dressing your lil menou?”
He gave up with him. “I am.”
“Exciting times, oui?” he fished.
“You see what she wears?”
“When it comes to seeing women, mon frier, there will only ever be one I see.”
Ethan had to grin, liking that. “Let’s just say if I was looking fas-fas I might miss she’s a woman.”
“And when you don’t look fas-fas?” he wondered, laughter in his words.
“Then I see I want to dress her differently,” he said.
“And this does not terrify you?” he asked.
8-Bit paused, realizing it was a joke and yet somehow not. “A little,” he dared.
“Ahhh,” he said softly. “I can testify that there is no place more dreadful than the arms of a reckless chance. And no place more glorious.”
8-Bit nodded, eyeing the serene swamp around him while his inner eyes stared into the looming storm. “It’s because of you that I’m at this ledge. And I don’t mean because you voted it into code, I mean because of what I see in you. The changes. I may have gotten a little…inspired by this reckless chance you took.” The silence on the line stretched and 8-Bit realized. “It took a lot of courage and I thought…if my Eveque can do it then so can I.”
“Oui,” he said with that odd soft strength. “It’s a chance we must all be man enough to take. And one worth taking.”
“Top rated horror stuff.”
“Oui, brother,” he said, knowing he was dead serious.
“Nothing wrong with taking it slow with boundaries.”
“Absolutely,” Eveque said. “I insisted on the same with me and Beth.”
“You did?”
“I did. No sex till she knew without a doubt what she wanted. Not what I wanted. This angel would give her life if she thought it pleased me. It’s her kindness disease and I’m still training her to discover her own pleasures outside of mine.”
Ethan was at the edge of his seat now, realizing Cat did that very thing earlier but not for the same reason. She wanted to know if he wanted her. Pretty sure Belle Eveque at least knew that much about Eveque’s feelings for her. Maybe he could bend the rules just enough to let her know he wanted her and it had nothing to do with obligations and sexless agreements.
Maybe he should just tell Eveque.
“Ah, speaking of the angel. Call me later, oui?”
“Oui.”
He hung up and found Cat’s number, his thumb hovering over it. Why was he calling? To check on her. He pressed the button and put the phone to his ear.
“Ethan?”
Her eager greeting spoke to his cock, and he suddenly realized her words had nothing else to speak to in him.
I know what it’s like to need to kill things. But it’s also messy and can deaden things you may need to feel later.
“Hey,” he said, shoving everything but this moment off the nearest proverbial cliff. “You doing okay?”
“Other than being bored out of my mind, yes.”
“Big G hasn’t kept you company?” he asked, digging a little.
“He has. As much as he’s allowed,” she added, light chiding in her tone.
“You’ve been prying?” he chided lightly back with a smile.
“A tiny bit but only things that I think are important to know.”
He shrugged. “You can ask me anything.”
“Well, f—”
“But not on the phone,” he chuckled.
She let out a breath. “Fine. What time is this awesome later date, anyway?”
Later date.
“I’ll be home in maybe less than two hours. I’ll cook for you.”
“Oh good,” she said cooly. “I’ll ask questions while you do.”
“Fun,” he said, positive he’d enjoy watching her dig with nosy enthusiasm into his personal life. “I’ll need to ask you questions too.”
“Well, I’m an open book,” she assured. “Guess I might take Big G up on his lavender bath to burn time.”
Oh fuck. “You should.”
“I will.”
His cock yanked every which way, desperate for one word in. “Do me a favor,” he said, his pulse a hammer in his balls.
“Favors now, huh?”
“Just one.”
She gave a dramatic sigh. “What can I do for you?”
He held his breath, closing his eyes. “I want… you to…” Ah fuck. “Enjoy your bath.”
She sputtered out a little laugh. “Well, I think I can manage that. Maybe I’ll call and harass you while I’m at it.”
“During your bath?” he asked, back in the flames.
She was quiet a moment. “Yes,” she dared in a tiny test.
“Do it. I might ask you questions then.”
“Same,” she said, her arousal shaking that one little word as well as his whole world.
“I’ll be waiting.”
“Good. Now I’m not the only one. Later gator.”