16. The Sinner
Irestlessly move around the bedroom, stumbling a bit on my shaky and weak legs, but refusing to stay in bed regardless of the nurse’s and doctor’s orders. I would rather fall on my ass and get back up again a hundred times, than spend one more moment in its depths. I have already spent too many weeks confined to that bed, and I’m loath to waste any more of my precious and limited time inside of it.
No, I must strengthen myself again for what is still to come. The war that I plan to wage on those who tried to end my life without success. I plan to have the world burning down around me when I’m done seeking my vengeance.
A reckoning is coming to the Brotherhood, and I plan to lay waste to everyone who has used the system to hurt and take advantage of someone else within it. Those in power will all suffer at my hands first, starting with Noah Rothesay.
My mind circles once more over all the information I have learned since I woke from my deep slumber two days ago. We were attacked by Noah Rothesay, who somehow knew that I was the Unholy Ghost. The Brotherhood and Noah think that I am dead, murdered by Zeke’s own hand at the behest of his father. My precious Sammy is a prisoner behind enemy lines, with Zeke somehow protecting him. The question of why is making my head hurt.
My beloved brother, whom I thought I had known all my life, was actually a rebel and was trying to actively overthrow the Brotherhood before he was murdered. He has a two-year-old son I was never aware of, who Noah has kidnapped, and is now holding as a bargaining chip to get Zeke to do his bidding.
My feelings for Ezekiel Rothesay are in complete turmoil, from hating him one moment to wanting to thank him the next, for trying to protect my nephew and my lover, even though it was his hand that plunged the blade inside of me. I can’t let my thoughts dive too deeply into that moment, for I fear that it will either have me crying like a lunatic in the fetal position, or going on a massive killing spree. The verdict is still out on which will win out.
The rebels, led by Sarah Mercier, who herself is a rebel leader, managed to rescue Abraham and me, before I bled out on the bedroom floor at Zeke’s traitorous knees. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around how that docile and pious woman is a rebel leader. Now, here I am, after weeks of being trapped in a coma, fighting for my life, learning of everything that has occurred, and more conflicted than ever.
One thought presses into my mind with a massive urgency: how will I save Sammy and get my brother’s child back? There is no question of me leaving them in the Brotherhood or Noah’s clutches to die. I need to get them out and without further haste. The issue is how. Every waking moment since I learned of the truth, has been spent trying to come up with a plan to release them from captivity, and yet I haven’t been able to come up with shit.
Deep longing fills me for Sammy, and how we used to work together in our planning sessions against the Order. He was always the yin to my yang, the balance between my darkness and the light. He would know what to do so that we could extract them, but he’s not here. According to Sarah’s reliable source, a source she has so far refused to divulge to me, he might not even be alive once I finally get to him.
Fucking hell! I will gut Noah Rothesay if it’s the last thing I do. I can’t lose Sammy. I can’t lose any of them.
Rage fills me at all the Brotherhood has taken from me. Everything they touch, corrupt, and destroy with their evil, destructive ways. How instead of freeing our society with their false promises, they became the jailers with knives pressed to our throats. Their reign must end, and they have to be stopped before no one is left to fight back. I will free us, even if it takes my last breath to do it.
A warm body presses against mine, and my breath leaves me in a sigh at the scent of saltwater, coconut, and lime. He always smells delicious, as if he just stepped right out of one of the pages of those banned old magazines. The ones that showed couples and families enjoying vacations in tropical climates, wearing little clothing, and smiling for the cameras. All the things that the Brotherhood banned immediately when they took power.
There is no such thing as a vacation now, never mind a tropical one. Now, you work in your assigned societal station until the day you die. For some, that’s sooner than others. Women must be demure, respectful, and completely covered up in long, stifling dresses, whether in public or private, because the Lord is always watching. As is the Brotherhood that keeps its fucking Order.
That is unless you have the misfortune of being a Sacred Wife, or a woman that they want to use for their own depraved sexual gratifications. In that case, the fewer clothes you wear behind closed doors, so they can abuse you, the better.
“You should be resting, Atasi.” His nose nuzzles at my neck, taking deep inhales as if he can’t get enough of my smell, as his arms wrap around my frame and hold me firmly against him. I feel his body tightening, and a part of him growing hard and lengthening at the small of my back. It causes my core to clench tightly, and rips a gasp from my lips when it pulls on the stab wound that is still healing.
“Mmmm, fuck, Abe,” I moan as I turn in his arms and wrap my own around his neck, resting my head against his chest and listening to his powerful heart beating underneath. The need to feel him pressed tightly against me, reassuring me that he is here with me and is safe, when nothing in the world right now is safe for us, powers through me. He’s with me. He’s actually here. This is not just some fucked up coma-induced dream where he will evaporate before my eyes, only to be replaced by a monster.
“I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere, Atasi, but you should rest; you are still healing. You’re going to need your strength for what lies ahead.” His amber eyes glisten as he meets my gaze, the little lines around them tense and becoming more pronounced, as if he’s aged in the time I’ve been away from him. My poor, handsome Abe, who has taken the worries of the world on his broad shoulders.
“I can’t rest, Abe, not while I know that Sammy is being held captive, and they could be trying to kill him even now. I’m so worried about all of them, not just Sammy. What if that psycho tries to murder Gabriel’s son? What if… if he kills… Zeke?”
Abe’s hands tighten at my hips, so much so that I flinch in his firm grasp. His lips meet my forehead, where he presses a soothing kiss. “I know, Dinah. I am so fucking worried too. I worry that we might be too late when we finally get to them, and they will all be gone.” His body trembles as his fingers tip my chin back, so that I’m looking right into his eyes and witnessing the turmoil and pain in their depths.
“I know that he ultimately betrayed us, but I can’t convince myself that he did it to hurt you, and not for power or wealth like his cunt of a father insinuated. Zeke never gave a shit about either of those things before, and he wouldn’t have followed his father’s orders blindly. I know that he cares about you, cares about us. Why else would he be protecting Sammy like my mother claims?”
A deep shudder leaves him. “I just can’t forgive him, Dinah. He almost took you from me. I’m not sure that I want him dead, at least not at Noah’s hands, but my feelings are conflicted and wrapped up with anger. Can you find it in yourself to forgive what he has done?”
My thoughts circle and war within me. A part of me, the part that has known Zeke all her life, wants to believe that he wouldn’t have hurt me without a good reason. That part can almost convince herself to forgive him if he did it because he loved Abe. I know he was thinking of him, because you could see it clearly on his face.
The second part of me wars with that sentiment. She is less likely to forgive or forget what he did. How he found the strength to stab me with that blade. How his eyes held mine silently while I was dying, and never once spoke the words I longed to hear. That woman doesn’t want to forgive. She wants vengeance, and because both live inside of me, the struggle is almost impossible. It is a push and pull of emotions, each one volatile and trying to convince the other side of who is correct.
“I don’t know, Abe. He had to have his reasons, and whether Noah managed to manipulate him or not, I know, at the end, he was thinking of you. It was you that he wanted to protect more than anything. It must be killing him now, not knowing if you’re safe and alive, just like it has to be destroying Sammy thinking that I’m dead.”
“Fuck, Dinah. What do we do? How do we get them out of there? How do we save Gabe’s son? That kid didn’t even get to know his father before the Brotherhood took him away from him. How do we stop them once and for all?”
My mind is a whirlwind of emotions, ones that seek to trap me and drown me in my sorrow. The sorrow for a child I have never met, one who is the last remaining blood family that I have. Sorrow for a brother who will never get to see his child grow up and become a man. Anger at the Brotherhood for destroying our whole world, and using their power for evil instead of for good. Rage at the unfairness of it all. I have lost not only one, but multiple, people that I love. Fury that the man I grew up with and loved, discarded me regardless of his reasons. Devastation that the man who is my soulmate is now a prisoner of the Order, who won’t hesitate to kill him. It’s too much; all of it is too much to bear, yet I have no choice but to endure.
“I have no answers, and my brain is a tornado of thoughts, Abe. I need to shut it off for a moment before the grief and anger threaten to drown me.”
“What can I do to help, baby? I will do anything for you.” His hands slide up and reverently cradle my face as his thumbs trace the corner of my lips, and my tongue sneaks out to lick their surface, ripping a deep groan from his lips.
“Atasi, you’re still hurt,” he whispers as he lowers his face close to my mouth, as if he can’t help himself from getting a taste of me.
I press my lips right up against the warmth of his mouth, sliding my tongue along the plump surface of his bottom lip, before taking it between my front teeth and giving it a sharp nibble. His hands leave my face to trail down my back until they reach the globes of my asscheeks, and with a final breath, his lips descend hard over mine. His tongue slips into my mouth and plunders it, at the same time his hands squeeze my ass tightly, lifting me right off my feet and pressing his stiff cock into my stomach.
“God, we… we shouldn’t, Dinah. You’re… fuck… you’re still healing.” He swallows my breath, his hands clutched around my ass and forcing my legs to wrap around his waist with a grunt as he breaks our lips apart, both of us breathing heavily. “I can’t stop, baby. I need you. I need to feel your tight pussy clench around me. To prove to me this isn’t a fucking dream, and you’re actually here with me.”
“Yes, fuck yes, Abe. Take me, make me feel alive.” I grab the hem of his shirt and lift it until I can rip it from his body. Golden skin covered in tattoos greets my eyes, each one more mouth-watering than the next, and all deserving of my lips across their surface. My thumbs stroke across the metal barbells on his nipples, eliciting a groan from his lips before I replace them with my mouth, licking and sucking them until I feel his body sway.
“Fuck, you keep doing that, and I’m going to end up coming in my pants instead of in your pretty cunt, baby.” He takes a step forward and then another, until we reach the edge of the sofa in the room. He untangles my legs and gently helps me find my footing on the floor, before reaching forward to grasp the hem of the oversized gray t-shirt I’m wearing. He hesitates as he slowly lifts it up my thighs, but stops when he reaches my waist.
“Are you sure, Dinah? We can stop now.”
I fist the shirt, grasping it savagely, ripping it over my head, and throwing it to the floor next to us. My bare nipples become exposed to the warm air and his smoldering gaze, the tips hardening and achy, just waiting for his touch.
“Fucking beautiful.” His warm, rough palm sides down the middle of my chest, before reaching over and cradling one of my round globes in his large grasp. His head leans forward, taking the tight nipple into his mouth and sucking deep, before rasping his teeth along its surface. My head tips backward, my hair cascading down my back, as moan after delicious moan leaves my lips. All the sensations rise within me until I can’t think clearly, and my body hums with need.
He switches breasts, laving at the other nipple and rewarding it with the same treatment before biting down on the surface, and leaving an imprint of his teeth behind. He cradles both round globes in his hands, stroking and kneading them, before pushing them together as his breathing picks up and starts to become ragged. “I want to slip my thick cock between your perfect tits and fuck them hard, baby, until I can cover them with my cum. Will you let me mark you with my cum, Atasi?”
His dirty and naughty words have heat shooting down to my clenching core as wetness dampens my panties. “Fuck. Oh fuck, yes. I need you, Abe. I need you to use me and make me forget everything around us.”
“Get on your knees, my dirty slut. I want you to grab your perfect tits and hold them tight, while my cock fucks you.”
I slide to my knees without the slightest hesitation, even as a stitch in my side reminds me that I’m still healing, but I won’t be dissuaded from enjoying this moment with Abe. I let my hands trail up the soft skin of my abdomen, stroking as I go while I watch Abe undo the button of his black pants and slide the zipper down. His large, meaty cock springs free from its confines, the turgid, purple head already leaking beads of precum from his slit. I lean forward and allow my tongue to lick across the surface, a moan leaving my lips as his salty and musky taste hits my senses.
I swirl my tongue around his mushroom head, licking along the ridges and savoring his flavor as saliva slips from the corner of my mouth. My hand wraps around his base, giving him a squeeze before stroking upwards from the base until my hand meets my lips around his crown.
Fuck, he tastes so good. My tongue traces along the pronounced veins, licking and sucking until his hands find their way into my hair, digging his fingers into my scalp and taking control of the rhythm. He moves my head, forcing me to bob shallowly before taking him deep in my throat, where I choke and gag before he yanks me back up, only to push me back down.
“Fuck, so good. My perfect cocksucking slut. That’s it, baby, swallow me deep, take me in your throat.” He sets up a vicious rhythm, his fingers controlling the movement of my head as he forces me to take his cock deep in my throat, over and over, until breathing becomes almost impossible, and I choke on his length.
Tears slide down the sides of my face, meeting with the saliva trailing down my chin and making a mess of me. My hands grasp onto the back of his thighs, holding on for dear life, while he uses me for his pleasure, and my core tightens painfully as I feel my slickness coating my pussy lips and the apex of my thighs.
He suddenly pulls back, and his thick cock releases with a plop from inside of my mouth. The long, slick length bouncing against his defined abs, and the ‘V’ that makes me stupid just by looking at it.
“As much as I want to cum down that pretty throat of yours, I want to see my cum splashed across those perfect tits more. Hold them together for me, baby, so I can fuck them.”
My hands reach for my achy breasts, massaging them and pulling on each of my nipples before pushing them together while he watches intently. He leans forward, gathering saliva, and spits between the valley of my tits, the warm fluid sliding down and coating the narrow space between them. He crouches down until his cock is at the same level as my breasts and slides the heavy length between them.
“Fuck, baby, squeeze tight. I’m going to fuck these pretty beauties until they’re covered with my cum.” He thrusts quickly up and down while I squeeze my breasts tightly in my hands, the tip of his cock peeking out between them as a moan releases from my lips. I bend my head forward, keeping my tongue out so that I can catch his tip each time he thrusts upwards. His breathing is becoming labored, and his thrusts begin to lose rhythm as he gets closer to his release. I watch as a bead of sweat slips down his chiseled chest, and the desire to lick it up almost overwhelms me.
“That’s it, baby, keep that pretty mouth open, make sure you catch all of it, my filthy slut. Don’t waste a fucking drop of my cum.”
His cum erupts from the tip, spurting up into my face, over my lips, down my chin, and all over my breasts. I lick as much as I can reach, a moan escaping me at the thick, salty goodness hitting my tongue. As his thrusts slow down, I release my hold on my breasts and use my fingers to slide through the slickness on my chest, bringing it to my mouth, where I lick it away to his rapt attention, while I moan like a whore at his sharp taste.
“Jesus, fuck, Atasi. That’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, baby. Are you enjoying my taste, my dirty slut?”
I moan my answer as he presses his thumbs to the mess he made across my face, smoothing the cum across my cheeks, down my jaw, and to my waiting lips, where I lick it all away. I can feel my slickness sliding down my legs. I’m so fucking turned on by the way he’s looking at me, at the little moans that I don’t even think he knows he’s making.
“Up,” he demands as he grasps me below my armpits and hauls me to my feet, before bending down and yanking my underwear down my legs with such force that I hear the material tearing in his wake. Well, fuck, here’s hoping the rebels have extra, or I’m going to be shit out of luck and going commando for a while.
“Baby, I need to taste that pretty, pink pussy, fucking now. I don’t want to hurt you though.” He pushes me forward on the sofa until my forearms are bracing me, and I’m bent at the waist with my ass straight up in the air. He sinks to his knees behind me and shoves his shoulders between my legs, forcing me to widen my stance. With an animalistic growl, he leans forward and licks a trail from my throbbing clit to my ass and then back down again, sucking deeply on my bundle of nerves until a scream chokes my throat.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I chant as the waves of energy race up my trembling limbs and ricochet across my every nerve ending, feeling like every part of me is now on fire. My core tightens on nothing, the emptiness pushing me over the edge of reasoning, as mewling sounds escape my mouth. “Please, please, Abe. I… I need… more.”
“I got you, baby.” He moans right into my drenched core as he continues to lick and suck at my clit, before slipping two thick fingers inside of me and curling them. A scream leaves my lips, and I’m unable to stop it, as my hips thrust backward of their own volition, forcing his fingers deeper into my pussy as my legs shake, threatening to have me crashing down to the ground.
He continues to finger fuck me hard, adding another finger to the mix. The sensation of being so full and stretched makes my eyes want to roll to the back of my head. Every part of me is pulled tight like a rubber band waiting to be released, waiting to explode. “Oh God, oh God, fuck, God!”
“Naw, baby, not God, he doesn’t know how to make this pretty pussy weep, just your devil. This is my perfect, tight cunt. God can go fuck off, he can’t have you.”
His words are my undoing, and my body tightens painfully as every muscle locks up and my spine goes rigid. My legs shake, and the orgasm takes me over, ripping a hoarse scream from my lips and causing me to bite down hard on my bottom lip, until I can taste copper in my mouth. Yet still, Abe works his fingers in my pussy, until he’s ripped every last shred of euphoria from my shaking body.
He pulls his fingers from inside of me, and I can hear and feel how wet I am. My juices trail down the inside of my thighs, and my face heats with embarrassment. Abe leans forward, pressing his face to my thighs and licking up every drop with his warm tongue. “So fucking good. What a good girl you are, cumming like a whore for me.”
His words have aftershocks racing through me, and my body tenses again, but I’m spent and exhausted and sway on my trembling legs, knowing that at any moment, they are going to crumple and drop me to the ground. Abe must realize it too, because he wraps his arms around my thighs as he gets back to his feet, ensuring that I don’t hurt myself, before turning me around and giving me a blistering kiss that has my sweet and musky taste filling my mouth.
“Come on, baby, we need a fucking nap after that.” He picks me up in his arms, cradling me against his chest, and carries me to the bed, making sure that I don’t accidentally land on my side before joining me, and gently pulling the covers over the both of us. His arm pulls me against his broad, tattooed chest, cradling me closer to his warm, sweaty body, and he tangles our legs together, holding me as if he’s afraid I might disappear on him.
“I promise, Atasi, we will get them back,” he mumbles into my hair.
My eyes close with his words, and for the first time in weeks, darkness takes me, but no monster greets me.