12. NAOMI
Home sweet home.
Not.
To Naomi, there was nothing sweet whatsoever about being back in Texas with an overbearing father and a list of chores as long as her arm.
Naomi was meant to be working, but instead, she’d found an old photograph of Brody online. He was wearing a military uniform and he looked even more muscular than he did now, with a little less gray in his hair. He was smiling, but he didn’t look as happy as the Brody she’d seen when the two of them were in private. It hurt her heart to think of all the pain that was yet to come for the Brody in that photograph.
Of course, she’d made the right decision walking away from him. Her father was a bully, just like Brody’s father had been. He’d managed to escape from his father and the last thing he needed was her father treating him badly and threatening to beat him up now, too. Not that her father ever would actually hurt Brody. She was pretty sure of that. He had never thrown a single punch in all his life. But he was certainly fond of threats, which were a type of abuse in their own right.
Naomi sighed. She had to try to stop thinking about Brody. He would be so much happier without her. He’d chosen to live in that lighthouse for happy solitude, not to have a bunch of drama show up on his doorstep.
She closed the picture of Brody and, trying to take her mind off him, began scrolling through her research notes on the marine survey she’d carried out. She’d detected a very interesting blue algae that she couldn’t identify, and she’d have loved to spend more time looking into it.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t likely to go back to Little Rock ever again. And even if she wanted to, the project’s funding had come to an end. She’d have to write up her report and pass it on to the mayor, and he could decide what to do with it.
She started to write it out, but her mind refused to cooperate, instead replaying memories of stolen moments with Brody. The way his fingers had danced across her skin, his voice low and soothing as he praised her for being such a good girl. The pain and pleasure of him spanking her bare bottom.
“Focus, Naomi,” she scolded herself. She wrote the details of the blue algae to Mayor Cooper, describing its unique properties and the potential implications for the local ecosystem. As she typed, her heart raced at the thought of sharing her findings with someone who might appreciate them. She described how the algae seemed to possess natural abilities to purify water and promote healthy aquatic ecosystems. She explained the potential benefits for the town’s environment and economy if they could harness these properties. And then she told the mayor that if he ever found the budget to look into the algae further, he’d have to find someone else to do it.
After sending the email with a bittersweet sigh, she opened up a new email, this time addressed to Brody. There was no harm in a little email, was there? She could tell him about the algae, thank him for his kindness, and write out a proper goodbye. However, just as she started typing, “Brody, I miss you so much,” a knock at her door interrupted her thoughts. She closed down the email at once.
“Naomi,” her father’s stern voice called. “It’s time for your evening prayers and chores.”
Her fingers froze above the keyboard, and she sighed heavily, feeling the weight of her father’s expectations bearing down on her. “Yes, father,” she replied, a hint of resignation in her tone.
Closing her laptop, Naomi followed her father to the living room, where they both knelt side by side on the uncomfortable wooden floor. As they bowed their heads in prayer, all she could think about was how free she had felt with Brody, and how suffocated she felt now.
“Lord, we ask that You guide our hearts and minds, keeping us pure and righteous in Your eyes,” Pastor James intoned, his voice firm and unwavering.
Please, God, help me understand why being with Brody feels so right while following my father’s rules feels so wrong, Naomi prayed silently, her eyes squeezed shut.
“Naomi, are you even paying attention?” her father scolded, causing her to snap out of her reverie.
“Sorry, Father,” she murmured, guilt gnawing at her insides. She felt so trapped she could barely breathe.
“Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned,” she whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. Yet, deep down, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was really a sin to want something more than the life her father had laid out for her—a life that included Brody and all the passion they shared. A life that included being a Little, being carefree and true to herself, no matter what other people thought.
As they finished their prayers, Naomi’s heart ached with the knowledge that her happiness seemed to be slipping further away with each passing day. And while her faith played an essential role in her life, she couldn’t deny that her desire for Brody was just as strong, if not stronger, than any prayer she could offer up to the heavens.
“Naomi, I need you to clean the kitchen and organize the pantry tonight,” Pastor James announced as they rose from their knees. “I’ll be checking on you every hour to make sure you’re staying on task.”
“Of course, father,” Naomi replied obediently, her voice barely audible.