16. Iris Shameless
Iris Shameless
Chloe leaned over her desk and said, “Psst.” I turned and realized that she was leaning over partly so I’d hear her, and partly because it gave her amazing cleavage in her white uniform blouse that she had unbuttoned one button below uniform policy and Greg Saunders—who she had a massive crush on—sat on the other side of me. I glanced at him quickly. Yup. He was looking. “You are shameless,” I whispered, leaning closer to her.
She smiled. “I know. Are you nervous about this afternoon?”
“Nah,” I said. “Going to see my dad in jail is no big deal. Ordinary, really.”
She laughed. “Okay. Well, good. As long as you aren’t nervous…” She rolled her eyes.
Ben walked over and squatted between us. He looked up at Chloe. “I know Greg is right there, but if you could maybe get those out of my face for a minute.”
She rolled her eyes again. “They were here first. Maybe you should get a better handle on where you put your face.”
I shook my head.
“My house Friday,” Chloe said.
I nodded, and was surprised to find that knowing I would miss Brenna’s soccer game made me a little sad. I’d never had a big family, and I was stunned at how fun it was. I’d thought I would miss being alone—at least sometimes—but I didn’t at all. Maybe it was because it kept me from being alone with my thoughts about how my life was up in flames. So maybe that wasn’t exactly healthy. But, whatever.
“Want me to come with you this afternoon?” Ben asked. Gosh, he was such a good friend. I mean, who else remembered that this was my first time seeing my dad in prison? Chloe had probably already forgotten, and we’d talked about it two minutes ago. But, in fairness, Greg, with his wavy dark hair and killer accent, was talking to her now, so it wasn’t really her fault that everything else had probably flown out of her head.
“Don’t you have Key Club after school?” Ben was president of Key Club, a volunteer society that, let’s face it, we were all in because it looked good on our college applications. I was also in it to be a good friend to Ben, even though I wasn’t great at attending the meetings. But I did do the volunteer projects, which I kinda felt was the hard part. Sure, I partly did it because we had to have a hundred service hours a year. But I mostly did it because there was no one I’d rather be around than Ben.
“Yeah, but I can just message the GroupMe. We can do it tomorrow.”
“You would do that for me?”
He touched my forearm. “I would do anything for you, Ris.”
That made me feel sort of warm and tingly all over. He was such a sweet guy. I was surprised he didn’t have a girlfriend. But that was probably good because I would be super jealous that his attention was on her, not me. So I wouldn’t be, like, setting him up with anyone. “I don’t know if they’ll let you in. I had to do a bunch of paperwork and stuff.”
He shook his head. “But I can ride over there with you. Be your moral support since you haven’t seen him in there yet.”
The feeling of dread I had been waiting for all morning finally washed over me. Until now, I had been able to pretend that Dad was on a business trip. I mean, I wasn’t literally pretending that. I obviously knew he was in jail. I had talked to him. But I hadn’t had to see him; Mom was hoping I never had to. But the more days that ticked by, the clearer it became that if I wanted to see him, I was going to have to go.
“I don’t want to,” I whispered. “It’s so bad, Ben. Like, so, so bad.”
“But you’re okay,” he said, putting his hand on my arm comfortingly.
I nodded, biting my lip to keep tears from coming to my eyes. “But I miss him, you know?”
“Of course you do.”
“I want things to be back to normal, back to our family together again.” As much as I liked the mommune, I didn’t like it as much as having my dad home and my mom home with me all the time. I added, “I think Merit is going to drive me over there and drop me off because my mom is going first.”
I didn’t miss his eye roll. “Why is your mom going first?”
Come to think of it, I didn’t really know. It did seem sort of odd that she wouldn’t come pick me up. She still didn’t have a car, which was more inconvenient than I could possibly have imagined.
“Maybe she’s riding with Oliver or something.” Oliver had been Dad’s attorney for, like, a long time. It made me feel better to know that he was working on all of this because Oliver had always been sort of like our fairy godfather. He was the fixer. He made problems disappear. Although it was notable that my dad was still sitting in jail. So, there was that. How good of a lawyer could he really be anyway? I’d just watched the Bernie Madoff Netflix special. His charges were way worse than my dad’s and they put him on house arrest while he was awaiting trial. They let him live in his own plush New York apartment, while my dad was rotting in jail. What kind of sense did that make? Get it together, Oliver.
“If Merit’s taking you, then I’ll just keep the Key Club meeting when it is. It seems like you have all the moral support you need.”
The way he turned so quickly sort of surprised me. Was he mad ?
I didn’t have time to wonder because Principal Windsor caught my eye through the door and motioned to me. That was weird. My heart raced, but I knew I couldn’t be in trouble. Could I? When I stepped out into the hall, he handed me a little cardboard box that had already been opened. I looked at him questioningly. “It’s a gift,” he said, then walked away.
I set the box down on the floor, crouching over it. Removing the paper, I found a chocolate tackle box from Dylan’s Candy Bar. My favorite. I knew right away who it was from, and my eyes teared up remembering that Dad wouldn’t be here to fight over the Peanut Butter Pretzel Poppers with me. The card said: Break a leg on your geometry test today! All dads love their daughters. I’m a dad. Therefore, I love YOU. (A little deductive reasoning in case you forget!)
I held the card up to my chest. He was cooped up in jail and had remembered my test—and that I was struggling with deductive reasoning. It made me even more excited to see him this afternoon.
Three hours later, Merit pulled up in front of a long white building that, I’ll be honest, didn’t really look like a jail. There wasn’t a huge barbed-wire fence around it like in the movies. And I could see a basketball court and some picnic tables, so maybe Dad was at least getting some fresh air. Vitamin D was very important. “Maybe I’ll stay for a pickup game,” Merit joked, looking over at a group of men who were playing.
“I’ll walk you in,” Merit said, obviously sensing my nerves.
But then my mom jogged out the front door, and I said, “Don’t worry about it,” trying to seem cooler than I felt. “Hey, thanks for driving me.”
“Anytime.” He smiled at me, and, while I had believed his hotness was affecting me slightly less, butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I had a huge crush on him. But I was getting to know him well enough that I thought I was acting sort of normal. I didn’t say one stupid thing during my whole surf lesson Sunday. Although it was kind of hard to talk while waves were smashing me in the face. Maybe that was better.
Mom opened the car door. “Thanks, Merit,” she said. Then, looking at me with her we got this face, “You ready?”
“Sure,” I said with much more confidence than I felt. I got out of the car and slammed the door. Suddenly the thought of walking into that building made me feel sick.
Mom must have sensed my hesitation. “It’s not that bad,” she said. She paused and put her arm around me. “Well, no. It’s bad. But he’s in a room with couches and chairs. You don’t have to talk to him on a phone through glass.”
“Really?” I brightened. “How did you know that’s what I was picturing?”
She smiled at me. “Because it’s what I was picturing the first time.” She whispered, “And the lady behind the counter made fun of me and said everything I knew about jail I’d learned on Legally Blonde . And she’s totally right.”
“Me too!” I said. Old movies were the best.
We walked through the door, and I had to stop at a desk that looked like the concierge at a not-so-nice hotel. Although I guess they didn’t have a concierge at bad hotels. Well, whatever. I had to fill out some form verifying that I was me since I’m not old enough for a driver’s license yet. Okay, so this was feeling more like jail by the minute. A lady with red hair behind the desk smiled at me and said, “Your daddy is going to be so happy to see you.” I knew she was trying to be nice, but it weirded me out.
The whole time I was both terrified to see my dad and so excited to see my dad. It was actually amazing how much a person could feel two opposing things at the exact same time.
Mom looped her arm through mine. A guard smiled at me and walked us to a room that looked pretty much like Mom had described, but with these quilts hanging on the wall that depressed me. I knew without really knowing that prisoners had made them, that some of America’s brightest minds had made bad decisions and instead of changing the world were learning basting stitches and French knots.
“Iris!” Dad said, jumping off the couch and practically flying toward me. He hugged me so tight it nearly took my breath away.
“I’m so glad to see you,” he was saying over and over. Was he crying ? I hated it when he cried. I felt sorry for him, but also it made me really uncomfortable.
“I’m so glad to see you too,” I said. He smelled kind of like Clorox or something. Not bad, but not like Dad. He smelled liked a stranger.
When Dad pulled away, I noticed he kind of looked like one too. He seemed pale and thin. These dark circles he’d never had before were under his eyes. He hadn’t even been here that long.
Oliver got up from where he was sitting in a chair across from a couch. “I’m going to give you three a moment.” He moved away.
We sat down, Dad in the seat where Oliver had been, Mom and me on the couch.
“Are you okay, Dad?”
“I’m fine. How are you?”
He didn’t look fine. He looked pale in this sickly orange outfit, sitting in a room, that, admittedly, had decent natural light but smelled like that cheap floor cleaner they used at school. I just nodded. How was I? I felt kind of okay, but I thought it might hurt his feelings to say so. It wasn’t that I didn’t miss him. I did. It’s just that everything was always so busy around the mommune that sometimes I didn’t have much time to even think about how much my life had changed. When I’d told Alice that last night, she’d assured me my dad wouldn’t want me to be sad. I guessed that was true, but I still felt kind of guilty.
“Sweetie, we have some news,” Mom said.
I could tell from her face that it wasn’t great news. But, like, the worst had kind of happened. We were talking in a jail. So my expectations were low.
Oh my gosh. Merit is right. They had brought me here to tell me they were getting divorced.
“Okay,” I said, stalling. “Are we never getting the house back?”
Dad gave Mom a look I didn’t understand.
“Honey,” Dad said. “I wanted to be the one to tell you, face-to-face, that I did not do this.”
I exhaled a breath that I didn’t even know I was holding. “What?” Oh my gosh! They weren’t getting a divorce! Or if they were, they weren’t telling me. Although, if he was innocent, I couldn’t really see Mom divorcing him. “You didn’t?”
He shook his head. “I did not.”
“I knew you were innocent!” I said, rushing over to throw my arms around his neck.
“You did?” he said. His eyes filled with tears again.
“Of course, Dad. What are you even talking about?”
He nodded. “I’m so relieved. I know it’s confusing when everyone is telling you something and you don’t know what to believe.”
I settled back into my seat. “Okay—but, Dad, if you’re innocent, why are you here?”
“Well, you know how sometimes we initiate client statements ourselves and sometimes they come directly from the funds our clients are invested in?”
I nodded. I knew very well because I had worked at my dad’s office on and off since I was, like, eight years old. In actuality, I worked for him to put in enough face time to justify the Roth IRA he funded for me each year, but he had also taught me plenty of bits and pieces along the way. “Yes. Sure.”
I had seen Dad’s support staff work on those statements hundreds of times.
“Well, to keep it simple, let’s just say that some of those statements or maybe the trades themselves or something were falsified and—” He rubbed his temples, and I was flooded with sympathy for him.
“It’s okay, Dad,” I said. “I get it.” And I did. Sort of. But what kind of asshole would do that? And how couldn’t someone figure out who it was by now? “Do you think it was someone in your office?” I asked. I had never trusted that Melissa. Of course, I’d always thought she was after my dad and his money. I didn’t think she was, like, a full-on criminal.
“If it was, they were convincing liars.”
“But that isn’t for you to worry about, sweetie!” Mom said brightly, giving Dad side-eye. “Dad, Oliver, and I are going to get this all taken care of.”
Dad nodded. “Yup. We’ll be back to normal in no time flat.”
“Like, normal normal?” I asked.
Dad looked confused. “Well, yeah. I’d say so.”
I’d always thought Mom and Dad were this perfect, happy couple. Or, well, it was maybe more accurate to say that I hadn’t ever given much thought to their marriage at all. They just were. The idea of them being apart was unthinkable.
“So, like, the three of us together as a family, under one roof, one Christmas, etcetera.”
Mom’s face flooded with recognition. “Oh, honey. Dad and I aren’t getting divorced.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“I’m so sorry about all of this, Iris,” Dad said. “I only want your life to be stable and happy and comfortable. I promise you that we will get to the bottom of this.”
I just nodded because I didn’t know what to say. But I felt like we were going to make it.
“Tell me about school,” Dad said. “Tell me something normal.”
I looked around, finally noticing that there were, like, ten other people in this sad little living room. This was not normal. But I knew this was harder for Dad than it was for me. I couldn’t imagine being locked up in here. Especially being innocent and locked up in here.
“Well, I’m going to a sleepover at Chloe’s on Friday, so that should be fun. And Belle Epoque on the Beach is Saturday, and Key Club is volunteering, so that will be great.”
He nodded. “Hey, Char, we were the head sponsor for that event. I think we got eight tickets. You should go and take your friends.”
Mom laughed. “Please, Bill. The last thing I want to do is dress up in some ornate costume and prance around town for everyone to talk about us. No thank you.”
Dad put his hands up like he was surrendering, something he did often when it came to Mom.
I laughed, and then filled Dad in on how my geometry test went, thanked him for the chocolates he sent, and got him generally up to speed on my friends and all the Juniper Shores Prep gossip. I purposely left out mentioning Juniper Shores Socialite because I didn’t want him to be tempted to look and read anything negative about himself. Our time went by way too fast, especially since I didn’t know when Mom would bring me to see him again. Life without transportation was hard. At least I had Merit.
I hugged Dad goodbye so hard and kissed his cheek. “We’ll get you out of here soon, Dad, I promise,” I said, even though I was fourteen years old, and the world mostly happened to me at this point. But if I could help, if I could figure out a way, I would.
Mom put her arm around me, and she turned her head as we walked. I knew she didn’t want me to know she was crying, so I pretended I didn’t notice, and I made myself not cry so it wouldn’t be harder on her. It was life-affirming to know that I could prioritize her.
On the sidewalk, I spotted Oliver.
“Y’all ready?” Oliver asked, looking at Mom.
Mom nodded and sneakily wiped her eyes.
In the car, I pressed my forehead against the cool window, where it left a mark when I pulled away. Oliver and Mom were quiet. I was trying to process what had just happened. Yes, it was a relief to see my dad. But nothing had changed.
Oliver broke the silence, saying, “Well, I know this might not be good enough news to help too much, but I was able to get your car back. We can go pick it up tomorrow.”
“That is awesome!” Mom said. “Isn’t that awesome, Iris?”
“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” I said quietly.
What was I supposed to say? All I wanted was to go home. To my real home. Where my mom and dad were together. And my shoes lived. And I didn’t have to be a kid with a dad in jail. How had everything gone wrong so quickly? And what could I do to make it right?
What can I do to make it right? I knew enough about Dad’s business and his software that maybe if I could get in there and dig around a little, I could figure out where that money had gone. Mom wouldn’t want me meddling, of course. So I’d have to get Dad alone. He wouldn’t approve of me getting involved, but I could ask him, like, a jillion questions before he’d get suspicious. But it couldn’t be with Mom because if I asked even one question, she’d know exactly what I was up to. Mom powers were real. They were to be feared.
“Mom, can I go see Dad whenever I want now that I’m approved?”
She turned to look at Oliver.
“Well, yeah, technically,” he said.
“But you can’t go without me,” Mom said.
But that’s the thing about being a teenager. Sometimes you have to tell your parents what they want to hear. Even if you don’t mean it one little bit.