46. Iris Shooting Star
Iris Shooting Star
“So, are you going to tell Ben?” Merit asked when we got in the car.
“Are you going to tell your mom?” I asked.
He shot me a look. “Iris.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Okay. Your truth is bigger than mine. I just want you to be happy and no one is going to care.”
As he pulled out of the driveway, he said, “Iris, I want you to be happy and no one is going to care.”
“Well, I hope Ben cares,” I said under my breath. Then I sighed. “But, like, it’s just going to change the dynamics of everything. You know? Chloe, Dabs, Ben, and I can hang out now and it’s normal and—”
“No offense, Iris, but Ben has zero interest in hanging out with your girl squad. He hangs out with them because he likes you.”
I got those fluttery butterflies. I knew Merit was right; I knew Ben liked me. And I could say for certain that I liked him too. “So maybe I should have learned the lesson today in my near-death experience that life is short, and you have to take risks?”
“Your near-death experience? Would we really classify recording someone from the stairs as a near-death experience?”
I nodded seriously. “We should make posters to keep something similar from happening to other people.”
Merit glanced over at me. “I think I’m going to tell my mom.”
I gasped. “Really?”
“Maybe around Christmas when she’s in her peak Grace mood.” He paused. “Do you think it’s better if I tell her alone or with everyone?”
I pondered that. “Well, it might be a nice moment for the two of you. But then again, if you tell her in a group, you don’t have to come out, like, a whole bunch of times.”
He raised his eyebrows. “That’s a good point. And it might feel like less pressure on her to say the perfect thing?”
“She’s Grace. She’ll say the perfect thing.”
He smiled.
“Hey,” I said. “I heard about this kid who told his parents he had a brain tumor. And then he was like, ‘No, just kidding. I’m gay.’ And then they were so relieved he wasn’t dying it put it all in perspective.”
I expected Merit to laugh. Instead, he said, “Huh. That’s not a bad idea. Tell everyone something else so shocking that my being gay seems less shocking.”
I scrunched my nose and studied him in the dark. “Merit, I was kidding! That’s a terrible idea. Please don’t do that.”
We pulled into Chloe’s driveway, and I said, “Merit?”
“Go see your friends!”
I guessed this conversation was over. Well, whatever. It was his life, his decision. So I jumped out, hoping I hadn’t given him really bad advice.
When we got to the back door, Chloe threw it open and Chloe, Dabney, and Ben engulfed me in a hug. “You’re our hero!” Chloe said.
I put my hands on my hips like Wonder Woman. “Yup. I found the masked man in the closet!”
“You’re amazing!” Dabney said. “We’re so happy your dad is coming home!”
They pulled away, but then Ben hugged me again.
“I’m so sorry, Iris,” he said. “I was rude to you every time I saw you today, and you were out fighting crime.”
I nodded. “I was. I am a modern-day knight, and you ignored me.”
Merit looked from Ben to me. “Hey, Chloe and Dabney,” he said. “I’m starving. You got anything to eat?”
You could almost see them swooning. I smiled to myself. If only they knew the truth. “Of course!” Chloe said, talking really fast. “We have everything! Do you want, like, a snack or pizza or—”
“Can you make me cookies?” Merit said. “Or brownies or something?”
I knew for sure that he didn’t want those. We had just had Grace’s cookies, a.k.a. the best cookies in the world. Anything else would pale in comparison. But he was buying me twenty minutes, and I was grateful. As they walked toward the kitchen, he glanced back over his shoulder and winked at me.
Ben visibly rolled his eyes, and I glared at him. “Ben! Honestly! Five minutes and it’s back to that already?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. I took his hand and led him out the door to Chloe’s porch. It was dark, but I didn’t bother to turn on the light.
We stood, leaning over the railing. I was looking at the stars, but I could feel Ben looking at me. And it made everything inside of me feel like hot liquid. I had thought about what I would say to him on the ride over here, how I would explain that the other night I was torn, but now I had had time to think and on and on. But now that we were here, I didn’t want to break the silence.
“Ben!” I gasped, pointing as a shooting star streaked across the sky. It was so dark here on the beach, the sky was so full of stars, that it wasn’t uncommon to see them. But it was still magical, and at this particular moment it felt like a sign, like God or the Universe or some unknowable, unnamed force in the cosmos had set all this up so that I could see how I truly felt.
I turned toward Ben, and he turned toward me. “You have to close your eyes and make a wish!” I said, with the same enthusiasm Brenna or Jamie or Audrey would have. I felt giddy.
He closed his eyes, smiling, and as soon as he did, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, gently at first, then longer. He wrapped his hands around my back, and I realized that I was glad I hadn’t done all that talking. There was nothing to talk about. Ben was my best friend, and it felt right that now he would become something more.
I knew right away as I kissed him that this was going to work; maybe this was what we should have been doing all along. I let him go, but he kept his arms around my waist. “My wish came true,” he whispered.
I laughed. “Mine too.”
And the two people who usually couldn’t stop talking seemed suddenly out of things to say. It felt perfect. We walked back into the house, into the kitchen with the others, holding hands.
Dabney noticed immediately. “So, is this a thing now?” she asked, pointing to our hands.
We looked at each other and shrugged.
Chloe rolled her eyes. “It’s always been a thing. They just wouldn’t admit it.”
I wasn’t sure that was totally true. But it didn’t matter. I had been through the dark, scary part of my fairy tale today. So it seemed fair that now I would get my Prince Charming.