Chapter 4
“Don’t ask,” he said before she had a chance to pester him with questions and sock him with reprimands. He made a note not to sit within kicking distance of her at a table again anytime soon per order of his shins.
God in heaven, what did he see in this ornery battle-ax besides the face of an angel and the body of a love goddess?
He knew there had to be something else. And in spite of the rhetorical question to himself, he really, really did not want to know, didn’t want to examine her or how he felt about her too closely. It was that fragile. That dangerous.
She stomped forward to the street to their car, cradling the baby protectively as if he were the shooter. She stopped short at the passenger door.
“We don’t have a car seat.”
“Get in.”
“No—seriously. We’ll get stopped by the police—”
“It’s okay. I know the Captain of the State Police.”
“Ha ha.” She gave him a withering look while she stood.
“She’ll be okay. It’s a short drive. You can make a list and I’ll run out and get whatever you need. Let’s get her home first.”
He could have bit his tongue off the minute he said that last sentence. Home? Had he lost his mind in his rush to reassure Shana the terrible love goddess?
She squinted her eyes at him and wisely didn’t say what she was undoubtedly thinking.
She could be smart sometimes. He knew it was tough for her not to ride him for the let’s get the baby home crack.
But she’d file it away and march it out another day when the baby wasn’t in her arms and they weren’t on a main street in Vineyard Haven.
Shana got in and Dane helped her fasten her seat belt while she clutched the baby for all she was worth. She said, “That damn priest said he brought her supplies.”
“What about the baby carrier?”
“What about it?”
“Do you think we could use it as a car seat?” Dane examined the thing in his hand and went around to his door and pushed his seat forward—damn two-door Jeep—leaned in and struggled the seatbelt through a slot that looked like it was there for this reason and got the carrier secured.
Bent over and looking at her from the back while she glared over her shoulder at him, he thought of a hundred things.
But since she gave him a bye on the ‘baby home’ crack, he figured he’d let her off on her ignorance about baby car seats.
It had probably been a long time since her kid brothers were babies and she’d been on top of baby paraphernalia. Things changed. Gadgets changed. Fast.
With more abruptness than the baby was probably used to, Shana opened her door and jumped out, then had to coo and rock Paulette into settling down again as Shana hurried around the back of the car to his side.
He stood, enjoyed watching and waiting for her, and didn’t bother stepping away from the open car door.
He stood in her way. She shoved him aside and bent forward with the baby—not even looking at him.
But when she bent over, her ass bumped into his crotch.
He jumped back, hitting the door and then shuffling aside.
She may as well have scorched him with a cattle prod.
The shock of pleasure stimulated him to a painful point and even with the buzzing in his ears, and the blood raging from all parts of his body to the goddamn center of action and shaking him like he was a volcano ready to erupt, he had enough brain power left to know this was not the time or place or the circumstances to be feeling like this.
He could think of few less appropriate things right now.
He backed all the way out of the door and, turning away, took in some deep breaths of the cool, soothing ocean air.
Maybe that’s why Martha’s Vineyard had always been his solace. The air kept him calm.
Maybe that’s how he managed his relationship with Shana here on the island. The instant unwinding power of the sea air kept him from snapping. Except that one time.
Shana stood and, still not looking at him, stalked back to the passenger side—in the opposite direction of where he stood—and got in.
Slammed the door. Dane took one more stabilizing breath, pushed the seat back and got in.
He peeked at Paulette and shook his head.
Trouble. This was already trouble. And they hadn’t even been shot at yet.
He arranged himself behind the wheel and turned the key. Then he looked over at Shana, who held her chin high and had her arms folded across her magnificent chest. Classic Shana keep out pose.
“Don’t say anything.”
“About what?”
“You’re a goddamn jerk. How was I supposed to know you could use the carrier as a car seat?
They didn’t used to be designed that way.
At least not in Australia. Not when my brothers were babes.
” She looked at him. Her face was flushed and her arms had come undone—like the rest of her—and he was treated to a rare view of vulnerability.
It had the same effect as her ass bumping his crotch.
Only this time they were in an enclosed car.
He used all his willpower to respond with calm.
To tell her what she needed to hear. To be a man—the kind of man she needed. And deserved.
“Don’t worry about it, Shana. We’ll go to a store and learn about all the latest in baby stuff—we can do it now on the way home if you want.”
She stared at him. He could see her eyes tearing up. Could see her mouth quiver. That calmed his libido but tore at his gut, and the force of every instinct in him to gather her in his arms in comfort was stronger than the force to ravage her had been. Trouble.
“No.” It was her knee-jerk response, but it saved them both.
“I’m unnerved, is all. I’ll make the list like you said. I’ll go online to make sure I’m not missing anything—do a little research. Like I always do for a case.” She turned away and he pulled from the curb. But he saw her swipe a hand across one cheek.
Mother of God, he hadn’t even known the kind of trouble this baby would be. Even he, the ultimate pessimist, skeptic and cynic, had not predicted the levels of pain that this baby might inflict.
*****
Shana surprised him with the speed at which she put herself back together and the enthusiasm she showed on the shopping trip.
He had no idea how it ended up that all three of them went along.
He knew it would look bad—like they were some ordinary happy family or something.
When he wasn’t coiled to the point of breaking on the inside and cold as Greenland on the outside, there were flashes of lightness and warmth, small sparks of pleasure here and there, and he saw and felt what those ordinary families felt.
It was all he’d feared it would be. It wasn’t his. It would never be his. Never again.
But Shana went blithely about enjoying the pretense—as if she were preparing and this were a dry run for her future.
She snatched a baby sunhat from the rack in front of them.
It was a pink and white frilly thing with a wide brim.
She held it up to him with her beaming smile as if she were testing the hat’s deflecting power.
“This is perfect. She’ll need protection from the sun as it gets warmer—” Then she stopped. His heart fell like an anvil and his muscles coiled up again.
He measured his words. “Her mother will appreciate it. But let’s limit the stuff to what we’ll need for the next six days.”
“I’m getting carried away, aren’t I? I knew this could happen.” She turned away from him and ran a hand over Paulette’s cheek as she lay in her carrier propped in the store cart. “But don’t worry. I’m up to it. I’m no more ready for a baby than you are.” She looked at him and arched a brow.
“Some day you will be.”
“And you’ll never be.” She said it with the finality it was due. He flinched on the inside but kept his rocklike exterior solid.
“Let’s wrap it up here and get back to the office to do some homework and arrange a babysitter before we go to Boston tomorrow.”
“You’re really coming?”
“It’s like you said. There’s bad guys with guns involved now and dealing with violence is my strong suit.”
“I didn’t say that—Father Donahue the chauvinist said that.”
“We need to keep the client happy, don’t we?”
“Why are you doing this? Why have you changed your mind?”
“You underestimate your powers of sucking a guy into something.”
She snorted and put the hat back on the rack and pushed the carriage to the checkout.
“Why?” she asked again when they were all back in the car with several bags of who knew what tucked in the back. He’d thrown the net over it and hoped no one had noticed him with a baby. Too late for that, he supposed.
He didn’t bother pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Why not?” he said. “Why can’t it be that I want to protect you, to cover your back like any partner would?” He allowed the defiance to come through in his words. A little hurt sounded in them too. Unplanned.
“No reason. I get that. It’s just you were so adamant before. About baby cases.”
“I’m a big boy. I’ll get over it.” He paused a beat and let go of something. “Maybe it’s time I did get over it.”
Shana, showing her smartness again, said nothing more.
*****
Dane sat at the big desktop computer, their extra secure device, double encrypted and customized by his old pal Acer who specialized in cyber security these days.
It was their go-to machine to stay under the radar.
No particular reason except his innate paranoia and long cultivated sense of self-preservation.
Shana came into the room—his dining room—and plopped onto the chair catty-corner to his. He felt her leaning forward on her elbows, her scent and warmth invading his space.
“Problem?” he asked without looking away from the screen as he tapped in queries on Father Donahue’s parishioners—just in case.
“I called every woman I know and I have no leads on a babysitter for tomorrow morning. I’m getting desperate.”
“Where is Paulette?”
“Asleep. Fed and diapered.”