14. Fox
FOX
W hen I stepped onto the balcony, I interrupted an argument over whether olives were nectar of the gods or pickled dog turds.
“Long pants? Or can I wear shorts?” I held up the best options from Shane’s bag.
“Shorts are fine,” Ashley said. Her smile faded as she slid her gaze to the towel around my waist, then up to my bare chest and finally to my eyes. She swallowed.
I turned my back on whatever that was and changed in the bathroom, throwing on a short-sleeved button shirt, but only closing two buttons. I’d had a cold shower, but I was sweating. Humidity. That’s why. Also stupidity, but mostly humidity.
“Shower’s all yours,” I went out to tell her.
“Thanks. Help yourself.” She nodded at the array of snacks as she rose.
I’d been intending to visit the registration desk, but my stomach gave a sharp clench of hunger. Ashley sent a sly look to Fliss and said, “Have some olives.”
“I’m with you,” I said as Ashley went to shower. “Pickled dog turds.” I scooped a handful of nuts though, and threw them into my mouth as I sank into the chair Ashley had vacated. I ate the cracker she’d left next on top of her coffee. It was smeared with a sweet-hot pepper jelly.
Fliss had been laughing when I first came out. Now her brow was low again, her bottom lip sticking out. Her owly expression deepened when I drained Ashley’s coffee.
“She won’t finish it,” I said. “She hates coffee that’s gone cold.”
“She also hates it when people talk about her behind her back.”
“Like we’re doing right now?”
“I’m not.” She sipped from whatever she was drinking.
Ah, twelve. Such a superior age. The way Ashley had been raised with Fliss was similar to the way I’d had younger siblings who weren’t really siblings. I had a closer relationship with Vicky’s kids in Oz, but that was mostly geography. I saw my foster dad, Gary, and his kids every few years. We talked online often enough that we picked up where we’d left off when I did see them. I loved them all, even when they went through this testy adolescent stage.
Kids usually liked me. I was always up for taking them into a pool or playing cards or throwing a frisbee. Last I’d heard from Ashley, Fliss had been looking forward to meeting me, but she was staring at her phone now, not giving me the time of day.
Was she still mad about finding us asleep in the hammock or, “Did Ash tell you I told Shane not to come?”
“Yes.” She lifted her head to deliver that with eyelids lowered in condemnation. “Tell her I’ve gone back to the villa.” She started to rise.
“Whale spout,” I said as I saw the plume in the distance.
“Really?” She stayed on the loveseat, but sat taller.
“There’s one over there, too.” I pointed.
We watched in silence for a minute. She pointed when she saw one off to the left, then settled back into the sofa and ate a dry cracker, eyes pinned to the water.
“I could have told Shane to come even though he was having doubts,” I admitted. “I was really drunk, which isn’t an excuse. I’m just saying, there wasn’t much going on up here when Shane said he didn’t think he should get on the plane. Mostly I was thinking this was what was best for both of them.”
“So it’s not because you’re...moving in or whatever?” This girl and her side-eye. She called me all sorts of sketchy.
“No.” I bit back a smirk of humor that faded as I thought about the way Ash’s gaze had tracked all over my chest.
“Because she told me you wanted them to sign a prenup. From here it seems like you either did it for yourself or for Shane. I don’t see how this is good for Auntie Ashley.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “I’ve seen what it looks like if people get married who aren’t in love.” I glanced at her, saw I had her attention. “I’m American.”
“I know.”
“Half the time I pick up the Aussie accent so not everyone realizes that. I was born near Seattle. My mom died when I was a two. She wasn’t with my dad and I’ve never been able to find him.” Vicky had told me she thought he was White, but I didn’t even know that much about him.
“I thought your mom lived in Australia.”
“I call Vicky ‘Mom,’ but she was my mom’s best friend. My mom didn’t have any family so she asked Vicky to take me if anything happened to her, so I wouldn’t go into foster care. Vicky promised she would because who thinks it will really happen?”
“She didn’t want you?”
“It’s the difference between planning a tropical wedding and being married,” I said dryly. “One’s a very romantic idea, the other is a lifelong reality. Vicky was a really good mom to me. She did her best and Gary—they were only dating when she took custody of me. He did what he thought was the right thing and proposed. They were already fighting by the time the wedding happened and their marriage turned out to be a huge mistake. Not violent or anything, but it was a lot of pressure. Kids are hard and marriage is hard. If you don’t really love each other and it’s not even your kid?”
“Shane and Auntie Ashley don’t have kids.”
“No, but have you met Sandy? They would have started a family pretty quick if she had anything to do with it. Then what happens if the marriage doesn’t work out? I was eight when Vicky and Gary divorced. Gary was having an affair with Stephanie. She’s his wife now and Vicky married Mitchell a year later. Mitchell and Stephanie never really understood why I had to be part of their lives. They wanted to have their own kids and make a fresh family that didn’t have a weird foster kid in the background.”
“That’s mean.”
“People want things to be simple.” But yes, it had felt cruel. I was pretty sure Mitchell had taken the job in Sydney as an attempt to distance me from his life with Vicky. Or, at the very least, he hadn’t cared that that would happen.
“Why did you go live with Vicky?”
“I bounced back and forth every week between them in the first two years, before Vicky and Mitchell moved to Sydney. I was going to stay with Gary because, you know. American.” I pointed at my chest. “But his life got complicated and he sent me to Vicky. It was supposed to be temporary, but Eddie and Sandy moved in next door and they didn’t mind having an extra kid hanging around.” I’d been a bit of a placeholder, but Shane and I got on so I’d been welcomed very warmly. “Anyway, the moral of the story is, being married to someone you don’t love ends in divorce and it’s not fun for anyone, especially the kids.”
“You don’t think Shane loves Auntie Ashley?”
“I think he loves having her around. She’s chill and funny and thoughtful. He loves her like you love a good friend.”
“Is that how you love her?”
Pow. That one crashed like the full weight of a wave, one that would have pinned me to the bottom of the ocean and kept me there. I hadn’t seen it coming at all .
She took a long swig of whatever she was drinking, but kept her eyes on my as though she knew exactly what bomb she’d dropped.
Note to self, don’t underestimate the preteen .
“Yeah, I guess I do.” My lungs felt compressed, like I’d been winded and talking was an effort. “Because I hate myself for hurting her, but I still think I did the right thing.”
Her brows went up, unimpressed by my willingness to die on that hill. She chucked her chin toward a fresh plume of mist in the distance.
I acknowledged the whale, then smeared a couple of crackers, gave her one and ate one myself.
“What do you think she should do? Come home?” Fliss slanted me a look that seemed to genuinely want my thoughts on the matter.
I pondered every conversation I’d ever had with Ashley. Thought about all the times she had gone along with whatever Shane wanted.
“Can I ask you something?” I offered another cracker. “I get the impression that your mom and your grandma have strong opinions. That Ash is the peacemaker. Goes along to get along. Is that accurate?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Mom and Grandma argue a lot. Grandma doesn’t approve of Mom’s choices.” She lifted superior brows. “Grandma is a nurse. She likes everything organized and tidy and we should all be prepared for an emergency and don’t take dumb risks or make your life harder than it needs to be. They fight about how to be a good parent.”
“Is your mom a lot older than Ashley? Because?—”
She shook her head. “Just three years. She had me when she was seventeen.”
“That’s young.” And made sense, because the few times I’d seen Whitney on the tablet, she hadn’t looked much older than Ash.
“My dad was the same age. Grandma could tell he wasn’t ready to be one.”
“So they didn’t get married or try living together?”
“No. I hardly see him. He lives in Ontario and sends me birthday money. He said he started an education fund for me, but Grandma told me I shouldn’t count my chickens.” Fliss chewed a nail and looked at the damage. “Grandma always thinks Mom’s boyfriends are deadbeats and says Mom shouldn’t date at all. She thinks Mom should have got a better education than hairdressing—which Mom really likes because it’s flexible and I can go to the shop after school. But Grandma thinks her way of being a single mom is the right way. Then Mom says something like if she’s so perfect, how come her daughter wound up pregnant at seventeen and is only a hairdresser, but her daughter is on the honor roll and never skips.”
“You like school?”
“I don’t know. Our town is so small, it’s like your choices are to go to STEM club or smoke pot behind the gas station.”
“Feels like a missed opportunity. Hold the club meetings there and solve fossil-fuel emissions.”
She snorted. “Sounds like something one of those potheads would say. But yeah, Mom and Grandma argue a lot while Auntie Ashley takes me for ice cream and tells me they’ll sort it out and everything will be okay. Why? Do you think I’m awful for wanting her to stay home so I don’t have to listen to all of that?” She had Ashley’s eyes, big and earnest. Certain there was a right way to be and she would strive to be it.
“No.”
“Because I missed her a lot when she was away. I was really mad when she said she was getting married and moving. She seemed so happy, though. And at least we were coming here for the wedding, but now what? I know I shouldn’t be glad this happened, but I want her to come home with us.” She exhaled and sent me another look, this one shadowed with guilt.
“And you don’t want to thank me for it.”
“No. I don’t.” She scowled. “And I don’t want you to tell her to move to Australia anyway. Are you going to?”
I blew out a breath, leaning back in my chair as I considered it.
“I don’t know what to tell her. Shane’s an all-systems-go kind of bloke. When he wants something, he goes.” I ran one palm against his other and shot my hand forward. “Half the time it’s a great idea and succeeds beyond everyone’s wildest dreams.”
“Like your company?”
“Yes and no. I wouldn’t have taken that kind of risk alone and I had concerns about doing it with him, but Shane would have done it without me. And he likely would have bankrupted himself in a year or two. That’s not me being full of myself. I know both of us very well. I’m one of the few people who is willing to throw myself in front of the speeding train that is Shane and say, Stop. Think. Let’s do it this way. He knows I don’t get in his way unless it’s important. We make a good team. But Ashley isn’t aggressive enough to get what she wants out of him. I know how hard she had to push to get this.” I pointed at the roof over the lanai. “To her mind, it was a fair compromise, but Shane fought her every inch of the way.”
“And didn’t show up,” Fliss noted darkly.
“Exactly. So I guess whatever Ash does should be her choice and we should support her in whatever she chooses to do.”
“The summer dress, then,” Ashley said from the opening to the bedroom. She turned away with a scrap of pink and yellow in her hand.