Dave
MY WIFE HADN’T come back home last night.
I knew she’d been talking big shit when we were at the school but I just knew that she was going to be at home waiting for me.
I’d waited around to get my kids but when her oldest brother showed up at the school with his shot gun on the seat to get his kids and told me mine were going with him, I didn’t bother to argue.
Having a night without the kids might be exactly what I needed.
I’d gone to my mother’s house to give Sylvia a chance to calm down knowing that she would reach out to me when she got back.
But she hadn’t. In fact, when I checked the cameras in the house there was no sign of movement since she’d changed her clothes and headed out.
It was the first time I’d seen her dressed up in a minute and I knew that was my fault.
I’d brought her home some shit from one of the bitches I slipped up with and went in raw.
That was probably why she’d been hollering all that shit about leaving me yesterday at the school.
Before she got the chance to really put that plan into motion I needed to remind her of how much she loved me.
I could smell the breakfast my mama cooked and my stomach reminded me that I’d only had alcohol for dinner.
I was grateful that despite the story being spread through the town, my mama hadn’t asked any questions.
She’d just pointed me to my old room and told me she’d already changed the sheets.
Nobody could understand what the love of a good woman could do.
I’d had that with my mother and with Sylvia.
Once I got back in her good graces I would definitely slow down with dealing with other bitches.
I headed down the stairs and went into the kitchen. As expected I saw my mama at the stove whipping up grits in the pot. She’d made all my favorites and I appreciated the way she was looking out for me.
“Morning, Davie.”
“Morning, mama.” I leaned down and kissed her cheek before snatching up a pancake with my hand.
She was standing at the stove in her house dress and turned to me with a scowl on her face. She was the opposite of me with dark brown skin, wide eyes and a short stature. Her face had the first lines of age on them. “Did you even wash your damn hands, nasty?”
“Yeah when I got up this morning. Why you annoyed with me?” I chewed my pancake while she turned back to the stove.
“Got this whole damn town talking about us. I don’t know what’s going on with the boys we named after the founder but y’all have lost your minds.”
I knew she was talking about me and David, this nigga that got killed last year.
He’d embarrassed his whole family by cheating on his girlfriend Jasmine Cunningham and that shit getting called out during their engagement dinner.
The worst part about it was she’d just married the dude that had exposed his cheating last weekend.
The town had been practically locked down and you couldn’t really step foot within a mile of the Beacon Hotel.
Those who worked it said that the shit was lavish but now me and where I put my dick had become the talk of the damn town.
“You act like all men don’t cheat at some point ma. Sylvie knew who I was when she married me so ya’ll are trying to make me feel bad when she’s the one who took me back.”
I’d cheated on Sylvia when I was away in college.
She’d known her entire life she wanted to be a paralegal so she didn’t need to attended a four year school.
I’d gone away on athletic scholarship and had received a lot of attention.
When she found out I was dealing with girls on campus we broke up.
But I got hurt and ended up coming back home and that’s when she got pregnant my senior year.
We decided to be a family for our son and her grandfather who was a judge married us.
She should’ve known that the inclination was there based on my previous actins.
She chose to stay even after I gave her some shit so to me she was kinda approving my actions.
I just needed to keep that shit under wraps better.
“You have got to be one of the dumbest men alive.”
“Why you talking to me like that, ma?” She sounded so pissed and I’d thought she’d have been on my side with this shit.
“Because somebody needs to. Sylvia has been a damn good woman to you. She works hard, comes from a good family and those kids of yours want for nothing. And that’s despite the fact that you’re throwing your money away on things and women that don’t matter.”
She gave me that look that she gave when I was a kid conveying she was disappointed in me. A Black mother’s disappointment held the weight of your entire bloodline with it. I felt momentarily guilty for how I’d been handling Sylvia but there wasn’t much I could do about it now.
“I ain’t been the best but she ain’t had one complaint. She probably didn’t even notice how I was moving.” I sat down at the round wooden kitchen table and waited for my mama to finish cooking so I could grub.
“See, dumb. You think that woman wasn’t watching your every move? Especially when you put her health at risk? She was trying to see if you were going to be a man of your word or prove your word was worthless. And guess which one you just did.”
What my mama said was making sense but I was tired of her only defending Sylvia like she was some saint.
“It ain’t all that bad, ma.”
Mama threw her hands up in frustration as she cut off the stove.
“You embarrassed her in front of the whole town basically, Davie. You think your wife is going to just let that slide? That her family is going to have her continue to be mistreated? Hell, she’s got enough backbone and financial security to leave your ass.
And if she asks me I’m going to tell her just that. ”
“How are you over here on her side? I’m your son!” My mama had me fucked up talking about encouraging my wife to leave me.
“Because before I was your mother I was a woman first. And the way you played in that girl’s face and wasted her time all these years is a crime.
I don’t feel bad that you’re getting your karma.
As much as I love you I have no issue telling you when you’re wrong, Dave. And you definitely were wrong.”
My mama gave me a look that further irritated me because she was truly making me feel like shit. Her eyes held judgement that screamed she loved me but didn’t like me or my actions.
“If you think that mama. I guess I gotta prove everyone wrong when we bounce back stronger than ever.”
She sat down at the table with her cup and I wondered why she hadn’t fixed my plate like she usually did.
“Tell me this. How are you going to bounce back to your wife when you are still adamant about dealing with your side chick?”
She sat back and sipped from her mug, which I knew was filled with chicory root and dandelion.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You think the folks round here don’t know that you made sure she didn’t get arrested last night?
Or that I didn’t hear the way you were on the phone caking it up with yet another girl to try to ease your ego over what happened?
That’s why I say you’re not ready to be a husband, Dave.
At least not a good one. Your wife had her heart broken and was publicly humiliated by your actions.
And what were you doing? Looking to link up with yet a third woman who is caught up in your bullshit.
I don’t even like the lil’ Bianca bitch because she’s a home wrecker.
But you playing with all these people’s emotions and for what reason?
Just because you can? That’s a dangerous game, Dave. ”
It was hard to swallow because the pancake felt caked up in my mouth.
Like my mama hadn’t cooked it as a labor of love.
It felt like culinary entrapment so that I could be lectured.
I was too damn grown to be talked to like a lil kid.
My mama was always trying to be holier than thou and I should’ve known better than to stay here last night.
“All this ain’t necessary right now. I need support, not condemnation.”
“You think that shit is going to work with me, D? It won’t. I’m your mama and I love you but I’m always gone to call you on your shit. But don’t worry. Karma will hit you quicker than anything I could say or do. Just watch.”
“You wishing ill on me?”
“Karma doesn’t judge right or wrong. It only gives you what you put out in the world. If you’re worried about it bringing you harm, you should’ve done more good. Fix your plate and then clean up after yourself when you’re done. I’m going to my room.”
She got up and headed toward the steps the ease in which she spoke on my down fall pissing me off. You’d think that the woman who gave birth to you would give a fuck about your life being hard. But that’s not who I’d grown up with.
My phone ringing yet again kept me from going off the way I probably should have. I looked down at the number and rolled my eyes yet again. I cleared the call but when it called right back I knew I wasn’t going to escape having this conversation so I needed to get it over with.
“Why do you keep calling me?!” I looked back to where my mama had gone hoping she didn’t hear me fussing with this stupid ass girl. The kitchen was basically unchanged since I was in high school but I no longer felt the familiarity and warm welcoming that I usually did here.
My mama’s words lingered in the kitchen the same way the scents from her efforts with breakfast had. Instead of being inviting and nostalgic, her words felt foreboding and this call was like an affirmation of something bad to come.