Sylvia
“FINISH GETTING THOSE dishes cleaned before it’s time for bed, y’all!”
I’d moved my mouth away from the phone so I wasn’t screaming directly into my cousin’s ear at my kids.
I was the only girl in a family of boys, directly in the middle at that, so we were more like sisters than cousins.
Nadia, or Bug as we called her, was my best friend so of course she knew all about my issues with Dave and the night I’d had with Hassan.
“Got my babies slaving away for their supper.”
I turned away from the kitchen laughing at her comment. “Shut up. They need to be doing chores the way they run my damn pockets. Do you know this boy of mine is already talking about going to the prom in the spring? Like who told him he could do that and why would he want to?”
“Because his lame ass daddy peaked in high school and sadly he is probably more worried about his son impressing people now than growing up and outshining him.”
I couldn’t front like that wasn’t a real possibility.
Dave was always jealous of anyone doing better than him.
It was hard for me to see that when we were younger because he had been so popular in school.
But once the dreams he had didn’t pan out and other people he thought were lame started to have far more than him, his bitterness showed.
It started when he didn’t make it into a D-1 school and had to settle, his words not mine, for an HBCU.
I’d done the supportive girlfriend thing and traveled to his games but I wasn’t hanging around every weekend fawning over him.
We’d broken up temporarily because he wanted to explore and I wasn’t about to let him play in my face.
I stupidly got back together with him after he lost his scholarship and had to come back to the Grove with his tail tucked between his legs.
He’d only gotten into teaching because it was the easiest degree program in his mind and he would always have a job. And then I got pregnant.
“You’re probably right. I don’t know what it was I saw in him.” I went back to folding the laundry to try to put my nervous energy to good use.
“You had a teenaged dream and I get it. Few people thought that the chick who was beating people up would end up with the jock. Y’all would’ve been high school goals if it would’ve worked out.”
She cracked me up talking about me beating people up. I did amateur boxing and wrestled in high school but I never went around fighting for no reason. My family loved to call me the muscle because I would handle situations that my brothers couldn’t.
“It did for a while I guess.”
“Sylvie, you think that nigga hadn’t been moving foul the entire time y’all were together?
I know you don’t want to hear that but it’s true.
Dave’s ass has been jealous of you because you were the one who provided the lifestyle that y’all lived.
Nothing is more dangerous than a man that’s emasculated.
Even if he’s the one allowing it to happen.
And a broke man is a mean man. I’m sure he was doing all kinds of shit that you didn’t tell us about. ”
I kept my mouth shut because there was no defense.
I’d fallen out of love with Dave a long time ago but I was of the mindset that if it ain’t terrible you don’t leave.
Not because of any family trauma since they all hated him anyway.
I wanted to be successful at this relationship thing but should’ve been more wary of the prize I was supposedly getting.
Dave had been more of bill than a partner leaving me to handle much of the responsibilities in our house.
He knew I had inheritances from my grandparents and had no issue with me using those proceeds to fund our lifestyle.
I didn’t see much wrong with it until things just never added up.
He got bold when he switched up his direct deposit so it didn’t even hit our account anymore.
That was what had me on alert that he was doing something wrong.
Bringing me home clamydia was the catalyst for me to figure out what he’d been doing.
The video that had been dropped in my lap was the final confirmation that I needed to get out.
I was furious for the way he’d been manipulating me for years and I should’ve beat his ass instead of hers.
You got your licks in and your lick back, though.
“You know why you’re all upset, right?” Bug was always a know it all so I was sure she’d give me her opinion whether I wanted it or not. I didn’t take offense to anything she was going to say because her advice was normally good.
“Enlighten me.”
“Because you don’t want to like him and you do.” I was annoyed that she’d circled back around to Hassan when I wasn’t interested in hearing the truth.
“Of course I don’t want to like him, Bug. He hit it and quit it. I’m supposed to be thrilled with that type of treatment?” I kept my voice down as I walked into my bedroom to put my clothes up. My kids were in the kitchen but I still didn’t want them to potentially overhear what I was saying.
“Oh, he explained that and you conveniently left out that he’d left a way for you to contact him but you decided not to. I’m sure your ass was overthinking it and making that man all kinds of trifling in your head.”
I rolled my eyes as I flopped down on the settee at the end of the bed. She was right but I was pissed that she was going to bat for Hassan the way she was. I tucked my legs beneath me happy that I’d already changed in my pajamas for the night.
“I woke up alone!”
“And he said something came up with work! He kept that suite for you the whole weekend so you could relax. Paid for it and all.”
I sucked my teeth because I know she wasn’t trying to make a free hotel room the extent of what I should expect from a man. “Girl, his last name is Beacon. You think that he didn’t get that shit comped?”
Bug was silent for a moment because I knew she didn’t want to admit that she was wrong. “Well you didn’t have to come out of pocket so that’s truly all I was concerned with.”
I laughed because Bug was all about having a nigga foot the bill. “Of course that’s all you care about.”
“Ho, don’t be angry with me because you’re scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Of that man not being a piece of shit and actually wanting to do right by you. You might have been mad about that shit with Dave but you were also hurt by it. And the only advice I can give you is to not let a new man pay for what the last one did. Especially if he’s trying to do right.”
“Hotel room. Fucked and ducked.” I ticked off the events so that she could remember I wasn’t being irrational.
“Girl, you didn’t call that man! You were too scared to do it and I’m sure if he would’ve reached out then you would’ve blocked him. You act like I don’t know you, Si.”
I sucked my teeth annoyed at her accuracy. “Shut up.”
Bug didn’t bother getting annoyed she just laughed at me.
“See you know I’m right. But ain’t nobody trying to fuck with you, killa.
I know how you are when you get amped. I still get a laugh at you beating that bitch’s ass at BGE.
If I wasn’t worried about embarrassing the kids I would’ve put that shit on World Star. ”
“Get off my damn phone, Bug.”
“Don’t get pissy with me because I’m right. But not only are you not mad at that man you’re worried that you’re going to let him take you down again.”
“Ugh, how is your lil bitty ass always talking like a nigga?”
“Height doesn’t determine how much thug you got. You beat bitches and I keep my nine so I never have to. You can take the girl out the Grove but you can’t take the Grove out the girl.”
Bug was barely 5’3 but she had the mouth and attitude of a starting center in the NBA.
“True.”
“I get he made you mad or whatever, but how he look?”
My thighs clenched together again and I was pissed that Hassan had somehow gotten finer in the last two years.
I wasn’t sure if it was because he’d always been that fine or if it was because I’d decided to make him the villain.
In doing so I’d imagined that the chemistry we’d clearly had must have been in my head.
But the way he so easily gathered me together at the bar had me with damp panties and a fury that could rival a bomb.
It felt too arrogant for him to come strolling back and just assume I was going to be sitting around waiting for him.
So what if I was? It rubbed me the wrong way.
The same way that Dave thinking my being single was because I still wanted him.
I swore the men in my life wouldn’t give me a fucking break.
He ain’t in your life though. Or is he?
“He looked the same.”
“Oh. Still fine as fuck then.” I could practically see the smug look on her face based on how her voice sounded. She wasn’t wrong so I wasn’t about to tell that lie.
“Stop it, Bug.”
“Are you putting a pin on the dick?”
I had to roll my eyes because it had been so long since I heard that term. Because Beacon Grove was so small if we liked someone we would put a pin on him so neither of us crossed the other’s boundary. It didn’t matter much for me because I’d been with the same boy for so long.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t not either. I mean I wouldn’t fuck with him now anyway because it’s clear that you’re feeling something and you’ve had his whole dick in your throat.”
“Bug!” I looked around to ensure the kids hadn’t walked by and heard her loud ass through the phone.
“Girl, shut up. You weren’t being a prude when you hopped on it that night so stop acting like that today. I just need you to promise me something, Syl.”
“What is that?”
“Don’t count him out. If he shows and proves, let that man in. If he’s being for real, you deserve everything he has to offer.”
I looked up hearing the bell over the door ring and there was only a massive bouquet coming through the door. Neither of my brother’s wives were in the office today so I wasn’t sure who these flowers were for.
“Can I help you?”