26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Athena
J olting awake, my first thought is of Bear. Where is he? What happened? We were kissing and then…
I can’t hear anything other than a really loud ringing buzzing through my skull. The edge of my vision is blurred and smoke snakes down my throat.
“Oh, thank fuck.” Mac is hovering over me, her eyes wide, and I can just about make out her words. “She’s awake!”
Mac’s face disappears, immediately replaced by the only one who can soothe my racing heart. Bear doesn’t speak, he doesn’t have to because his eyes say everything I’m feeling. Pure relief washes through me and I’m pretty sure tears are streaking down my cheeks as he gently lifts me up into his arms.
His chest rumbles, vibrating through me as he speaks to Mac. I can’t make it out and I’m not trying to either.
What happened? I thought it was all over?
There’s a small graze on his cheek, just below his eye, and I tenderly lift my hand to touch the skin beside it, wanting so badly to make him better and hurt whoever did this to him. Is this how he feels when he sees my wounds and scars? Who did this? He leans into my touch, never taking his gaze from mine as we completely ignore everything going on around us.
The shouts become clearer, more focused as the seconds tick by, and all my strength seems to evaporate as I wrap my arms around Bear’s neck and cry into his chest.
“I’ve got you, Baby Girl. I’ve got you.” His soothing tone penetrates my soul as he holds me closer, his large hand softly caressing my thigh where he holds me.
Everything about it is calming, even in the face of tragedy, and it’s nothing like I’ve ever experienced in my whole life. The warm, comforting sensation fills me completely and makes me want to give him things that have only ever been taken from me.
A wailing scream makes me flinch and try to look around, but he only holds me closer, being careful not to squeeze me too hard. His whole body has stiffened, though, and the wailing doesn’t stop.
“Where is he?! Please, God, no!”
I finally lift my head and see it’s Vanessa shouting. She’s on her knees with several of the men surrounding her, some also on their knees, others standing with a fierce look on their faces and their fists tight.
“Shade!”
“Diablo!”
“Shade! Where the fuck are ya, brother?”
“Fuck this, I’m going in there.” I think it’s Hoops, the president, who begins charging into the burning garages, but he’s held back by the British one.
“Don’t be fuckin’ stupid. Keep ya head on your shoulders and fuckin’ think.”
Everyone is shouting and it’s difficult to make out the rest of their conversation as the sirens of a fire engine echo through the courtyard of the compound.
“Club doc’s on the way or I can take you to the hospital. Your choice, Baby Girl.” Bear’s words are spoken softly into my ear and it’s almost enough to make me forget about the devastation and destruction happening around us.
He’s giving me a choice again. If the heartbreaking cries from Vanessa and the utterly broken yells from the brothers weren’t so prominent, then I would love for nothing more than to show Bear how grateful I am for his sheer presence.
This madness, the shouting, the flames, it all has the potential to send me into a downward spiral, to batter my nerve endings and cause panic to completely take over, driving me to curl up into a ball of protection. But not with Bear holding me so close.
Bear is the antidote to my dangerous mind.
I don’t really want to go to the hospital if I can avoid it, there are a lot of people there and if they want Bear to leave me alone then I’m done for. I won’t cope. I can’t. It’s all too much.
“Club doc, please.” My throat feels scratchy, likely from a little smoke inhalation, but I smile through it as best I can.
“You got it.” He kisses the top of my head and I sigh, whimpering slightly at the impact. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m all the things and I’m trying desperately to not continue sobbing into his already wet T-shirt again.
An ominous red-orange hue coats the compound as the firemen do their job, checking the buildings for people and getting ready with their hoses pointed toward the garages. The brightness slowly dies down behind Bear as he walks me toward the main building, where the clubhouse and rooms are, but he hesitates before going inside then changes direction. Heading around the building, he takes me toward a small cottage-type house down in the far corner of the property and knocks on the door.
“Darlene, it’s Bear. You’re safe. Mac’s safe. Can I bring Athena in, please?”
I don’t know why he’s being so specific with this announcement before Darlene even opens the door, but when I see her face, I get it. I know that look, and I notice how she’s trying to soothe herself with deep breaths when she wraps her arms across her chest and taps with her fingers.
“The doc’s gonna come here to check Athena out, is that okay?”
She doesn’t respond to him with words, but she nods before stepping aside to let us into the house.
“Where’s Sabrina? Is she here?” Bear looks around the main living area, not making any move to put me down just yet. “There you are.” His muscles relax a little when the blonde woman comes through the door from another room holding two mugs of what looks like coffee. “I’m sure you ladies have already figured out there was an explosion on the compound. Vanessa is out there with the brothers. Everybody has been accounted for except Diablo and Shade.” His breath stutters slightly as he says the names, but he doesn’t hold back on the information he gives them. He’s not trying to placate them or tell them lies to make them feel better, and I like the honesty. “It’s being dealt with. The fire department is here and we’ll do everything we can to find our brothers. Okay?”
Tears are streaming down Darlene’s face, and she looks so much like Mac in this moment, but she nods again anyway, just as strong as her daughter.
“Now, how’s Gryffin? Is he still asleep?”
Another nod from Darlene and Sabrina signs something before shaking her head and simplifying whatever she was trying to say by first pointing to herself, then mimicking rocking a baby, ending with a thumbs up and a wink. She attempts a half smile too, but the horror from everything happening is clearly weighing on her.
I can’t help thinking this is all my fault, though. That if I had never come here, they wouldn’t be dealing with all this. But thinking like that isn’t going to solve anything. Wishing the past didn’t happen has never worked, and will never work. Not even the gods can do it successfully if the stories are anything to go by.
Bear takes up the whole couch, with me still firmly in his hold, while Darlene disappears upstairs with Sabrina after they made us each a fresh coffee.
“Here, you’re shivering.” Grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch, he places it across me before handing me my coffee.
“Thank you.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Tired, achey, but I’ve felt worse.”
His eyes darken briefly, as if he’s angry with my response, but I quickly realize he’s not angry with me.
“What I wouldn’t give to watch him die again. Sorry.” It’s as though his thoughts came out without the careful filter he often uses, but his protective instinct only makes me more in awe of him and what he does to the butterflies in my stomach.
“Don’t be sorry. I’ve been thinking the same thing.” I cough a little and shrug, because it’s true. The satisfaction at watching the life drain from my abuser’s eyes was immense.
He chuckles lightly and kisses the top of my head, but there’s a sadness in his dark brown eyes and a tenseness to his strong muscles. His brothers are missing, and I know he won’t be fully okay until they’re found.
“Let me strap you in.” Bear leans across me to grab the seat belt before clipping it into the slot, then he straightens in his seat and turns the engine on.
“Thank you.” I give him a small smile, unable to take my eyes from the way his arms move the steering wheel.
The doc came and went, after checking us both over at my insistence. Neither of us have any obvious internal injuries, and I’m only suffering from a mild concussion—as well as the other scars and wounds the doc found. Both he and Bear scowled at the sight of them, but again, I knew it was for me, not at me.
It’s about four in the morning, and once the fire engines and cops disappeared from the compound, almost everyone decided to go back to their own homes tonight. Their compound had been infiltrated, their working garages destroyed; the decision was made to give them time to thoroughly check the property over in the daylight. Even the women who live in the house in the corner have gone to some of the brothers’ homes for the night.
I could see the struggle in Bear’s eyes at the idea of leaving without knowing where two of their club brothers are, but the fire department confirmed there were no bodies within the destruction. Each member of the club is under strict instructions to send a group text as soon as one of them is found.
The drive doesn’t take long, and before I know it Bear is out of the truck and opening my door. He leans across me again, unclipping the seat belt and pushing an arm beneath my legs to lift me out.
“The doc said I’m fine to walk.” It’s not much of a protest though, because I eagerly wrap an arm around his neck as he slides me across the seat and out of the truck.
“Yeah, I know, but I want to hold you. Is that okay?” He pauses halfway to his front door and looks down at me with a small smirk.
I nod in response, unable to help the smirk of my own.
“Words, Baby Girl. You know I like your words.”
“You can hold me whenever you want. There… permission for forever.” I raise my eyebrows in faux-defiance, trying to help lighten the mood a little, and it works because his grin grows wider.
“Oh, we’re being bold now, are we?” He chuckles and continues to walk toward the front door, unlocking it with ease with me still in his arms.
“Oh my gods, this place smells like cherries!” I inhale deeply as we enter the house, closing my eyes and taking in the beautiful scent. I only know this is cherries because it’s Mac’s favorite and she practically bathes in the stuff—her words.
Bear huffs a laugh. “Of course it does. Mackenzie came and worked her magic here after… well, you know.”
“Should I write her a note to say thank you?” The bewilderment in his gaze holds a little sadness and he shakes his head.
“She doesn’t want thanks, but you know what? Yeah, screw it. We can write her a note.” It’s as if he changed his mind halfway through speaking and he grins at me again. “Wanna do it now or after we’ve cleaned up and had some rest?”
Again with the choices… this man.
“After.”
“After, it is.” He kisses the top of my head and walks with me up the stairs to his bedroom.
I was a little anxious before coming here that it would bring back the terrifying memories of the night I was taken from him, but the almost overwhelming scent of cherries and the fact that everything looks so different is a great way of tricking my brain into believing that this isn’t the same room. The furniture is all rearranged differently and there are clean, fresh sheets on the bed.
I think I need to give Mac more than a thank you note. I can’t believe all the effort that’s been put into making this place so different from before, yet it’s also the same. It’s just another one of those things that this family of Bear’s seems to excel in. They’re all-knowing and a powerful force when they come together. Not just when they’re shredding bodies to save someone, but it’s in the quiet things they do, like this.
“We should get cleaned up.” He walks to the ensuite and carefully places me beside the basin, then he turns on the faucet and lets the water run over a black washcloth before handing it to me.
“Can you do it?” I almost don’t ask, but my fears seem to be non-existent with Bear around.
“Anything you want, Baby Girl.”
Taking a deep breath, I grip the bottom of the white T-shirt Ophelia gave me and lift it up and over my head. I’m braless—as usual because I still don’t own one—but the room is warm enough for me to not feel too much of a chill as the air hits my nipples.
The shivering isn’t from being cold, more from nerves. He didn’t see the full extent of my injuries with the doc, and now I’m baring all to him. Again. I have to push away the memory of last time and focus on now. Master is dead. Everyone in that house is dead. They’ll never come after me again.
His eyes hold a hint of reverence as he looks at me, a sultry smile stretching his full lips.
“You’re beautiful.”
My body heats and I take a shuddered breath before swallowing deeply.
Bear raises his brows as I take my own time to trail my gaze up his torso. The anticipation of reaching his eyes is almost impossible to control but I remain calm, and steady my breathing. Once I get to his face, our eyes lock, his dark brown ones to my green, and I smile.
“The soot won’t clean itself, Handsome.”
This is me giving him all the permission he needs.
His gaze darkens as his chest rises and falls heavily and there’s a low growl coming from the back of his throat. I’m not scared, though, because this is the man I entrust my whole self to. Even in the short time we’ve spent together, I’m beginning to learn how to decipher his looks and his growls. This one is full of lust and wanting, but he’s holding himself back.
I know why, and I get it. I just hope he doesn’t hold himself back forever.
The rough surface of the wet cloth makes me flinch a little as he first presses it against my skin, the memory of them doing the same thing trying to push itself to the forefront of my mind, but this isn’t the same.
An involuntary shudder makes Bear pause.
“You want me to stop?” His voice is so low I almost miss his sweet whisper and tears spring to my eyes as I slowly shake my head. “Baby girl, I’mma need you to use your words.”
Turning my gaze to his, I take a moment to let his strength bolster my own with a simple look.
“Please don’t stop.” Everything he does makes a new, happier memory, never erasing the old ones, but making them a lot easier to live with. I never want him to stop gently pushing at my boundaries the way he does because with each one he breaks through, my world gets bigger.
He smiles, a small, light smile, but it still takes over his whole face as I bravely take his hand in my own and squeeze it against my chest, encouraging him to continue. Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss against my forehead.
“I’ve got you, Baby Girl. Always.”
I nod and breathe into his touch, moving my head to the side as he brings the cloth across my shoulder, my neck, and beneath my chin. He continues to wipe at my arms, then he’s careful to clean my chest, rinsing the cloth every now and then to freshen it up.
His focus on cleaning me is unwavering, like this is his sole purpose in life, and yet he’s so gentle, so careful with me. Every stroke is a soft caress that I savor. He doesn’t touch my breasts, they were covered so there’s no soot there, but something inside me wants him to. I want to know what it feels like to have someone like him, who treats me with such reverence, touching me in the places that are supposed to bring pleasure, taking away the bad memories and replacing them with new ones.
He continues his mission in silence and I sigh happily, then he brings his empty hand up to cup my cheek and uses the cloth to wipe at my forehead before kissing it.
“There, all clean.”
I’m kinda sad about it. Actually…
“Now it’s your turn.” Holding my hand out, I encourage him to pass me the washcloth.
He narrows his eyes and purses his lips. “I can clean myself, Baby Girl. You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” My aversion to owing people for their kindness has nothing to do with it. Bear’s not like that. I just genuinely want to do for him what he’s done for me. Plus, my fingers are twitching to touch him and this is the perfect opportunity.
“You’re somethin’ else. Of course you can.” Shaking his head, he grins before slowly leaning in, his face level with mine. Our eyes connect again and it’s as though we can speak without words, simply sharing the way we feel through this simple gaze. He leans forward a little more, his lips ghosting over mine, then he kisses the tip of my nose and my whole body heats.
Passing me the cloth, Bear slides off his leather cut then raises a thick, muscled arm and grips the back of his T-shirt at the neck. He pulls it up and over his head, revealing his strong, firm chest. There is a light layer of short black curls from his belly button going down into his jeans and I actually have to resist trailing my finger through the hairs.
In the same silence as before, and without switching positions, I widen my legs and encourage him to step closer. With him now between my thighs, I twist to rinse the cloth in the basin, the same way he did. After squeezing out the excess water, I begin at one of his shoulders, slowly dragging the cloth down his powerful arm, then I move on to the next. I take my time, enjoying the exploration he’s allowing me. He stays perfectly still throughout, not making any moves to touch me back, but I can see how tense his muscles are. He’s definitely holding himself back.
I want to tell him not to, but I’m also not a complete idiot. I’m still healing from Master and his friends, from Mrs. Grouse, and from the explosion at the garage. When I finally give my body to Bear in that way for the first time, I want to be able to do it properly, without restrictions due to my injuries.
Bear’s body isn’t really dirty because his T-shirt was long sleeved so it covered his arms, and the doc helped clean up his face earlier when he tended to the graze on his cheek. Still, I rinse the cloth a final time and replicate Bear’s action by leaning forward and cupping his cheek. I gently kiss the wound, followed by his nose, then I hover with my lips over his.
Be brave, Athena.
“Kiss me.”
“No need to ask me twice, Baby Girl.” His lips are on mine in the same breath and my whole body relaxes into him. He feels like home. Bringing his hands up to my head, he cups my face, his thumbs caressing my cheeks and I could absolutely melt. My body feels like it’s on fire.
His tongue dances with mine and I shuffle forward, a tingle shooting through me when the hardness of his cock presses against me. It’s yet another sensation only he has ever caused, and I can’t wait to explore it, but I can’t right now.
I’m the first one to pull away, resting my forehead against his as we both breathe heavily. My nipples are harder than they’ve ever been when I’m not cold and it’s strange, but I’m embracing it. Just like I’m embracing the scars across my torso. I don’t need a big speech from someone to know that they are a testament to my survival. They make me strong and I’m not ashamed of what I’ve been through to get here… of what I continue to go through to remain here.
None of this is easy for me, but I always knew I was meant for more. The Morai have always had a plan for me.
It’s almost funny to think that the Fates would play out a person’s life like this, with so much danger and trauma before they get their happily ever after, but that’s the way of the world.
“Let’s go to bed.” I talk first, raising my hands to hold the back of his head and placing a gentle kiss on his soft, full lips.
He nods, smiling wider than he has all day, then he lifts me from the counter beside the basin and encourages me to wrap my legs around his waist. Which, of course, I do. With his hands below my thighs, he leads us back into the bedroom and pulls back the deep-gray sheets.
I shimmy out of my pants, removing the socks at the same time, until I’m left in just my panties—again, given to me by Ophelia on the plane with the rest of the brand new clothes she gave me.
“Fucking beautiful.” When Bear curses, it doesn’t send dread through my veins, and after what I did to Master, I’ve decided to take cursing back and make it something I’m no longer afraid of. Though it’s going to take some getting used to because it doesn’t come naturally to me.
“Thank you.” I watch as he oh-so-slowly unzips his jeans before pulling them down, leaving him in dark-green underwear.
“You ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong, Baby Girl, but you don’t need to keep thanking me. I don’t do or say anything for your gratitude, I just do it to make you smile. Okay?” He kneels on the bed beside me and takes my hands in his, bringing them each up to his lips and kissing them.
My cheeks feel hot and tears spring to my eyes because I’m so damn happy.
Yeah, we’ve only spent about a week together in total, but in that time, he’s done more for me than anyone in my whole lifetime. He’s made me feel and think things that I never knew were possible.
“Okay.” I answer and nod at the same time.
He likes my words, and when the first tear falls, he reaches forward to wipe it away with his thumb.
“Come on, let’s get some sleep.” He lies down on his back and holds out one of his arms.
Without question, I lay my head on his chest, my new favorite pillow, and I sigh happily when his warmth wraps around me and he kisses the top of my head.
I must have fallen asleep because the sound of his phone ringing makes my eyes pop open and it’s suddenly daylight, the sun peeking through the crack in the dark curtains.
“Yeah?” I didn’t even realize he had moved to answer the phone. Somehow, he barely jostled me. We’re in the same position as before with me wrapped in his arms, my head against his chest and my palm softly resting on his stomach. “Oh, you have got to be fucking kiddin’ me.”