31. Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-One
Bear
“ H e’s fine, sir. Your son just passed out from all the stress.” We’re in the second ambulance, rushing to the hospital right behind the one transporting Kylie. I don’t correct the EMT about Pax being my kid because it doesn’t fucking matter at this point. I just needed to know he’d be okay.
“You have any updates about his mother?” The guy is keeping tabs on Pax, watching the monitor and checking his pulse.
“No, you’ll know more in the E.R, I’m sorry.” With my eyes trained on Pax, I keep his small hand wrapped tightly in my huge ones by comparison while racing thoughts invade my brain. Things I can’t control, like who’s going to take care of Kylie if she hurt herself badly? Paxton is only twelve, he needs to live a happy, balanced life, not become a caregiver before he’s even a teenager.
The intrusive thoughts inside my head want to remind me that there’s a worse outcome possible but I refuse to give it voice. No fucking way. No.
“Mom?” Paxton’s little body sits upright like a fucking vampire coming out of its coffin. It’s surreal.
“Hey, little bro, you’re all good, you’re all good. Lie down, okay.” My eyes search him out, wondering if he remembers what happened, but it only takes a second for his head to swing around and his tear-filled eyes to lock onto mine.
Fuck my life, his trembling bottom lip is about to send me reeling but I have to be his rock right now. I can’t let him down, that’s not an option. His father did that enough throughout Paxton’s young life.
“Where is she, Bear? Is she okay?” Just as he finishes his sentence, twin tears streak down his cheeks and land on his lap, followed by a stream he can’t stop or even control.
“I don’t know but—” I don’t have time to finish my thought before the ambulance comes to a complete stop and the EMT swings the back doors open.
“Let us do our jobs, sir.”
I’m about to slam my fist in this guy’s face but I realize that it’s a me problem, the protector wanting to shield his little cub.
Well, Kylie’s little cub, but it’s all the same. She’s Athena’s friend, ergo she’s under my protection. And Pax, well, he’s my little bro. He’s family.
The driver comes around, and as I jump off the back, they both slide the stretcher out with Paxton trying to jump off. In the distance, people are yelling stats and orders. It feels like complete chaos and I know for a fact Pax is feeling it too.
“Hey, kid, we can’t let you get up, we’ll get into a whole lot of trouble, okay?” The driver is a lot friendlier, doing her best to soothe Paxton, but he’s not hearing it. Not caring. From his shaking head like a “no” on mental repeat, I’m guessing he gives zero shits about anything but his mom.
“Look, his mom was in the wagon in front of us. He’s freaking out. Cut him some slack, all right?” I ask, using my customer service voice to keep everyone from losing their shit around here.
The driver sighs and looks back to Pax.
“Quicker you let us roll you in there, the quicker you can see your mom, okay? I’ll even make sure you get an update right away.” At that, Paxton lies back down but his fingers are tapping away on the stretcher like he’s counting something in his head.
I don’t need a degree in psychology to know it’s a coping mechanism when shit gets out of control for him.
As soon as he’s compliant, they rush him inside, an E.R doctor listening and nodding then pointing to a draped off stall at the far back.
My eyes dart all around trying to find Athena, who was with Kylie in the ambulance, but I can’t see her. When I turn around, I run smack into Spencer, Mac’s best friend and old EMT partner, who looks like he’s run a marathon with his heaving chest and sweat-dotted forehead.
“Is she okay?” Before I get an answer from him, Athena walks out of a closed off room with the shades drawn and I don’t need to ask to know the answer to my question.
Tears are free falling down her cheeks and her face is contorted in palpable pain. As soon as she sees me, her feet take off running and my arms reach out to catch her as she falls right into them.
“Sorry, man. We did everything we could but she was asystole en route. We tried chest compressions on the way here but she was declared a few minutes ago.” In my arms, Athena sobs at Spencer’s words even though she lived through the whole thing.
“Bear! Bear!” Athena’s body freezes when Paxton’s voice carries over from the cubicle and I squeeze her to reassure her.
“Thanks, man. ‘Preciate it.”
With his head hanging, Spencer nods and walks away.
“Hey.” I peel Athena from my body and look her in the eyes. “We gotta be strong for Pax, okay? He needs us because in about sixty seconds, we’re gonna destroy his entire world.”
My girl takes a deep, hiccupped breath as she wipes her face with the back of her hands. I don’t know where she gets her strength but the well is deep and her force of nature is inspiring.
“Come on, Baby Girl.” Our hands clasp as we take this job as one.
Athena’s phone rings in the back pocket of her jeans, making her jump. I don’t think she’s used to it yet.
“Hello?” If it weren’t for her tear-streaked face, you wouldn’t know she was just crying her little heart out. “No. I’ll call you right back, we need to talk to Paxton.” She pauses as she listens, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip like she’s trying to stop herself from breaking down. “Okay, we will. Yeah, thanks.”
When she’s done, she looks back up at me and inhales deep.
“CPS is in the waiting room talking to Maribel. What is that?” Fuck, I don’t like that. At all.
“Child Protective Services. They take care of children when their parents can’t do it.” Athena smiles and my heart breaks a little more knowing I’m gonna have to destroy that optimism. “Let’s just say that no matter how hard they work, there are too many kids and not enough good families taking care of them.” And just as I suspected, Athena’s smile drops and she frowns, not liking my answer one bit.
“They’re calling his father.” My blood runs cold and my jaw stiffens like my joints after an entire day riding.
“Over my dead fucking body.” I don’t yell. I don’t growl. I whisper because my control is this close to snapping. If I see that motherfucker who dared lay a hand on his wife, in front of his son, I will fucking end him.
“Let’s take care of Paxton first, then we’ll deal with the rest, okay?” With a sharp nod, I pull her close and we enter the barely private area where Paxton is being treated.
“Are you family?” The doctor’s question reminds me that his father is an asshole and just when I’m about to say no, I hear Athena say yes.
Oh, Baby Girl, you’re getting bold and I’m fucking here for it.
“Paxton is fine, he was in hypotension, meaning his blood pressure was too low due to shock.” Her eyes dart to the other side of the curtain and we all understand she’s talking about Pax’s mom. “We gave him epinephrine and he’ll be better in no time. Make sure he drinks plenty of water and keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t have a reaction to the drug.” We both nod but we’re not looking at her, our eyes are trained on Pax as he lies there with the IV giving him back his strength. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Thank you, Doctor.” I say, making sure to look her in the eyes so she knows I appreciate her kind tone.
“Hey, Pax, how you feelin’, bud?” My hand on the top of his head, I watch as I Athena sits on the side of the bed and wraps her fingers around his palm.
“Did you see Mom? Is she okay?” His gaze darts from me to Athena and back again before settling on my girl when she clears her throat.
“Pax, I’m not sure how to say this but—”
“Then don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t.” Pax’s voice cracks on the last word as he struggles to sit up. I don’t stop him, even though I should since the IV is still jammed in his arm, but I do put my arms on his shoulders and squeeze.
“Hey, bud, that IV is gonna hurt coming out if you’re not careful, all right?”
“I don’t care. I wanna see my mom. I wanna see my mom, Bear.”
“Pax, she’s…”
“No! She’s fine. You’re lying!” The nurse comes running in as Pax gets louder and louder. “Take it off. Take it off! Take it off!” He’s grabbing at his IV and I’m trying to hold him back so he doesn’t hurt himself but he’s a slippery kid and would probably be a wrestling champion if he wanted to join the team.
“Sir, I’m just going to take it out. Looks like he’s doing better and him ripping it out would make it all worse.” Like a fucking boss, or someone with a fuckton of experience, the nurse slides the IV out and puts a small bandage on his arm with a sliver of tape just before Paxton gets away from me and runs out into the bullpen of the ER.
“Mom! Mom! Where are you?” Everyone turns to look at him, the doctors scowling, the patients confused, and Athena and me completely overwhelmed and under-experienced for this kind of job.
“Pax, sweetheart? Come here.” Athena crouches down, and when Paxton does a three-sixty, not knowing where to go, he ends up facing her, tears no doubt making it difficult to see. “Hey.”
“Is she dead?” My heart cracks wide open at the sound of his wobbly question.
“I’m sorry, Paxton. I’m so sorry.” Athena’s voice is as gentle as a breeze, and while the emergency room is buzzing with activity, we’re standing there trying to hold the crumbling walls of a twelve year old kid’s life together and failing miserably.
“No. She’s fine. She was just tired and she got a job and Dad… Dad… he… he can’t hurt her anymore. She’s doing better.” Fuck my life, he’s killing me a little more with every word he says.
“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Athena doesn’t try to correct him and she doesn’t try to explain the situation. With the empathy of a saint, she just lets him work through this moment on his own and with our support.
“Sir, you’re going to have to—” I have no idea what my face looks like when I turn around and stare at the security guard trying to tell us to leave. I get it, it’s an emergency room with people dying or needing care, but Paxton’s life is falling apart and I’ll be damned if I let this cop wannabe tell us what to do.
“Walk away, man. Walk. Away.” He pauses and it’s like I can read the questions running through his mind. And no, he does not make enough money to deal with this shit. To be clear, I’m this shit and he doesn’t make enough to deal with me when I’m all up in my feelings.
When I turn back around as the security guard calls for back-up, I see Paxton rushing for Athena, wrapping his arms around her neck and sobbing. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“What’s gonna happen to me?” Athena looks up at me for an answer to Paxton’s broken-voiced question but I got nothing. All I know is that his father won’t be coming near him if it’s the last thing I do on this Earth.
“Come on, Pax, let’s get you back to Maribel’s so you can get your things. We’ll see what she says and we’ll work things out in due time.” None of this is legal but neither is being a dead-beat father who uses his fist on the mother of his kid. Fuck that guy.
“Sir, Paxton needs to come with us.” Fuck. I try the same tactic as with the security guard, but when I come face to face with a no nonsense sister, I know my attitude ain’t gonna fly. By the way her eyes narrow up at me, a smarter man would’ve used honey to notch down the tension.
I’ve probably been hanging around Psycho and Grinder way too long because I choose vinegar without a single moment of hesitation.
“Ain’t happenin’.” Because this is Paxton and the protector in me needs to keep him safe. So I go head to head with a woman who could kick my ass with just her words. I know, because she’s got that same fire my mama had when she was in fighting mode.
“You his father?”
“No.”
“You his brother?” I hesitate but let’s be real here.
“Not exactly.”
“So, no, then?” Word of advice… it’s when they’re speaking calmly that you should run fast and far.
“No.”
“Are you a cousin?” This time she raises a brow and cocks her head to the side with one hand holding her chart and the other clenching a pencil between two fingers. She knows the answer but is daring me to lie to her.
“No, ma’am.” Fuck, I may be three times her size but it only took one look for her to downsize me to a seven year old who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Um, ma’am, hello?” Athena has Paxton wrapped around her waist when she rises, but she extends her hand for the woman to shake. “My name is Athena.” She hesitates, waiting for the social worker to stop staring me down so she can speak with her.
“May Bennett, with CPS.” The women shake hands as May leads us to an office away from the craziness of the ER. “Look, you’re obviously protective of the child and I can respect that. But… he has a father.”
“Did you get a hold of him?” my girl asks with respect, but also with a little bite to her tone.
“No, he hasn’t answered our calls. And he’s out of state.” I already know what she’s gonna say before the words come out of her mouth. “We’ll take the boy to a temporary foster home until his father arrives.”
“No.” Everyone looks at Paxton when he speaks for the first time. “I’m not going. Not with my father and not in foster care.”
May’s features soften when she looks down, it’s impossible not to when faced with a preteen whose cheeks are reddened from crying just minutes after losing his mother.
“Paxton, I understand you’re hurting but we don’t have a choice here.”
“Yes, you do. I wanna go home with Athena and… Brock.” Pax’s chin juts out and his eyes become steel orbs.
“They’re not family, sweetie.”
I cross my arms, not at all inclined to help May with this. I’m totally on team Pax.
“My dad ain’t family either. He wasn’t family when he was beatin’ on my mom and he ain’t family now.” Fuck me, this kid is the GOAT.
May’s eyes dart to mine and all I can do is nod to back up Pax’s story.
“She was staying in a safe house with Pax, trying to get her life back together after leaving her abusive husband.” Athena keeps her arms around Paxton, like she doesn’t want to let go of a single inch.
“Ma’am, just…” I clear my throat, trying my best to sound completely put together. “Let us take care of him until you find a permanent home.”
“I can’t—”
“Please?” I think Paxton’s broken word is what gets to her. Certainly not me.
With a sigh, she takes out papers from her folder and places them on the desk. “Fill these out and I swear to God, son, if you disappear with him—” I cut her off because I ain’t leaving my brothers or Athena and neither is Paxton.
“My word is true, Miss Bennett.” We stare at each other long enough to know that we can trust each other.
“Make sure the address is correct and I’ll be coming by to see how he’s doin’.” We all nod and I wish we’d won this fight under happier circumstances, but the reality of the moment is that Paxton has just lost his mom and we’re about to embark on some crazy shit.