Chapter 11
Riggs
Nearing seven that evening, I took a quick shower to wash the soot and ash from my skin, changed, and made my way to my office.
After the fires had been put out, Roarke had roared through the forest with a massive barrel clutched in his front claws, refilling it again and again from the nearest lake to douse the last hot spots my Clan couldn’t reach.
Once everything was under control, I’d left Alanna well protected and gone out to survey the damage.
Several acres of beautiful green forest were now gone.
It was yet another thing I needed to repay Barrett for, not just terrorizing my mate and cub, but also setting fire to my lands and putting my Clan in danger.
I settled into a chair to work for a few minutes, but caught the scent of a master vampire approaching my door. The hair on the back of my neck stood up again. His power was unreal.
“Come in.”
The door opened, and Draven walked in. He was dressed more casually than usual, in a pair of athletic joggers, a black tee shirt, and tennis shoes, much like my usual clothing.
It was probably the influence of his new wife, because I couldn’t remember ever seeing him in anything other than a three-piece suit before.
I shook his hand, and he settled into a chair. I took one opposite him. I hadn’t wanted to sit behind the desk with him across from me because I felt it gave the wrong impression for this kind of meeting, so I chose a chair built for a smaller bear and hoped it would hold my weight.
Draven leaned back with his hands folded across his stomach and stared at me unblinkingly.
I didn’t interrupt whatever he was doing, and several minutes passed like this in uncomfortable silence.
I’d never been to therapy before, but I thought it was possible that this was the strangest therapy appointment ever.
“Your bear is usually very present,” he said suddenly.
“Yes.”
“But he’s not right now.”
“Correct.”
“Can you talk to him?”
“The last time I tried, he cursed at me. The time before that, he ignored me.”
“Hmm. I don’t feel him.”
“My bear?”
“Yes.”
My bear, apparently dissatisfied with being poked at, opened the floodgates of his power until it filled the room. But this was basically useless posturing because Draven merely lifted an eyebrow in thought.
“Your bear?”
“Yes.”
“Feisty, isn’t he?”
I didn’t know how to answer that question. Normally, yes. Lately, no, he was not.
“Normally, I would say yes. But lately…” I shook my head.
“May I try something?”
“That depends on what you want to try.” I didn’t want to be bitten if that was what he wanted to try.
“Nothing dire, I assure you,” he said, his eyes alight with repressed laughter.
I sighed, resigned. “If it will help, yes.”
He scooted his chair closer and put a single finger on my arm, then closed his eyes. We stayed like that for a good five minutes before he opened his eyes again.
“You were in danger of contracting Missing Mate Disease before your mate came, were you not?”
I nodded slowly.
He sat back, lacing his hands over his stomach again. “Hmm.” He looked thoughtfully at the wall for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Well, the good news is that it’s been reversed. The bad news is that your shifter half is extremely depressed. I’m fairly surprised it isn’t affecting you as well.”
Wasn’t it?
My body ached, and I’d been more tired lately, but I’d chalked that up to late nights with Alanna. Satisfaction was still present but dimmed, and happiness felt elusive. I was mentally weary as well, and nothing seemed to help. Not even when I managed to get rest.
“I think it is a little bit,” I said. “Maybe not as much as my bear, but I think I’ve still been feeling it. I just… attributed it to other things.”
Draven nodded thoughtfully. “It’s easy to do.” He sighed. “I could write you a prescription, but I think the best thing you can do is beg your mate to take a chance on you, and eliminate any threats to her and your cub.”
I almost corrected him. Alanna wasn’t my cub, after all.
But something inside me resisted.
“Thank you,” I said dryly. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
He chuckled.
“In your case, your bear’s depression is situational. Once you solve the situation, the depression will ease.” He stood. “Give it some time. If you’re still worried in a month or so, call me again. I’ll be happy to do another evaluation.”
I sighed, not at all happy with his prognosis. “Thank you for coming by and seeing me,” I said, shaking his hand.
His lips twitched, and I had the sudden, horrible suspicion that he’d somehow gained the empathic ability his wife had. Some mate bonds were like that.
I glared at him, and he patted my shoulder, chuckling as he left.
When he was gone, I collapsed into my chair again with a sigh.
Stressed, I ran my hands through my hair and decided I needed a bubble bath. I hadn’t had one in a while, and I really wanted one.
Later, in the bath, I settled against the waterproof cushion at my back, sighed in relief, and closed my eyes, sinking deep into the water.
The overhead lights were off, and instead I’d lit twenty scentless candles.
Their flickering illumination danced across my closed eyelids, and the hot water and jets soothed my tired muscles.
Instead of using strongly scented bubble baths and salts, which made my bear sneeze, I’d found a more neutral bath oil that still had helpful things like magnesium, honey, and sea salt.
He’d tried to warn me when I was a small cub that he had allergies, but I’d thought he was joking. It turned out he hadn’t been.
My stomach rumbled, reminding me I was still hungry. The Clan dinner had been cut short, so everyone else was probably still hungry as well. I’d go make something in a bit, after my bath.
My session with Draven had helped, but it hadn’t done much to reassure me that my bear would be fine. I just had to hope that things would work out.
If Piper didn’t choose us…
I didn’t want to think about it, but I had to believe we’d both be okay.
“I’m sorry you’re going through something so hard. She asked us to be patient. We can do that for her.”
Then I remembered what happened at the gym earlier and smiled. “We’re affecting her, at least. That’s a good sign.”
I actually got a rumble from him at that, which made something in my chest ease. At least he was paying attention. He was still there.
I didn’t know what I would ever do if he just disappeared completely. It was rare, but it could happen when a shifter went so deeply inward they had trouble coming back out.
After a good hour in the bath, I got out and dressed in joggers and a tee shirt. I was tired and didn’t want to cook, and hoped there were still leftovers from dinner.
I moved through the Lodge quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone.
In the kitchen, I rummaged through the massive fridges and even checked the deep freezer, but nothing looked good, so I started pulling things out to make burgers. On a hunch, I made several.
Just as I was toasting the buttery buns on a hot griddle, bears started filtering into the kitchen, looking bleary-eyed and exhausted.
I smirked as I plated everything, adding the potato salad Sullivan had made the day before and grabbing several bags of chips. I set it all out on the table in front of Mathan, Alistair, and Matteo.
I eyed my First.
“Should you be out of bed yet?”
He grimaced. “The four walls of my bedroom were closing in, and I needed to get out of my room.” He eyed the plate in front of him and grinned. “Besides, you made me food. I’m starving.”
I chuckled, setting out cups filled with ice and filling up a pitcher with water, then setting it on the table as well. “There’s more burgers being kept warm if any of you want them.”
Mathan and Alistair both nodded at me gratefully as they dug in, and we were all quiet as we plowed through the meal. Starving shifters were no joke. We needed a ton of calories just for maintenance, not even counting the extra calories needed for shifting.
“Is there still cobbler?” Alistair asked, filling his cup with water and downing it in several gulps.
I nodded. “Yeah, no one got to it yet. We can heat some up, we just need to save some for Piper.”
Matteo set his burger down and used his napkin, his movements careful and pained. “Did you know she was in the military?”
Mathan grunted. “It doesn’t surprise me. She looks fully capable of using those pistols she carries around.”
“And the knife down her boot.”
“Yeah, a lieutenant she’d served with gave us a ride to Dragonspire.”
“That’s a long ride,” Alistair said.
Matteo shook his head. “It wouldn’t have been too bad if we hadn’t gotten caught in a storm. Normally, it would have only been a little over four hours.”
Having finished my first burger, I made another one, slathering on the mayo and mustard, then adding tomato, lettuce, some grilled onions, and then some chips. I smashed it all together and took a satisfying bite. “Anything to add about your time in Alaska?”
Matteo shook his head as he struggled to get up for something, but I waved him down. “What do you need?”
“Dip?”
“Let me get it.”
He sat again with a pained sigh. “I heard Sullivan made French onion dip. That one, please.”
I grunted as I dug into the fridge. Finding it, I grabbed a spoon from the drawer and got a few bowls down in case anyone else wanted some.
I set them on the table, then sat again to finish my second burger.
“Nothing more than I told you,” Matteo said to my question from a moment ago. “I told you about the attack on the bridge. What I didn’t tell you is that the cops weren’t going to let us go.”
Alistair snorted. “I’m surprised you both didn’t get arrested.”
“Yeah, I thought the same,” Matteo said around the crunch of a chip, his expression puzzled. “We had to go down to the police station to explain everything that was happening. At first, it didn’t look good for us, but after about an hour, they let us go.”