Chapter 13
OLLIE
It was well past midnight. Christmas was over, so why was I still awake? I couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible had passed between me and my mom, and I would never undo the harm I'd caused.
Yes, I'd ditched my family at Christmas. I wanted them to listen when I said the holidays weren't relaxing. I barely had time to complete the long list of winter tasks before my vacation ended. Instead, they'd given me the cold shoulder.
Our phone conversation kept replaying in my mind.
My brother closest to me in age, Steve, said "Merry Christmas," like it was the vilest insult in the book.
Then he passed the phone to my next brother, Theo, who had the decency to ask if I was having a good time before passing me on to Ronny, who talked my ear off about his work promotion.
It was all middle management stuff, where one job sounded like the next.
I still didn't know the difference between a senior designer, project manager, and project consultant. They all sounded important.
Vinny and his omega wished I was there for their big news: they were expecting twins in April. Walter asked me if I was ready to be an uncle five times over, since his two kids had been the only youngsters in the family for so long.
Zander, my youngest brother, said I wasn't the only one missing. His omega, Dan, had stayed home with a mysterious illness. "Mom's on the warpath without you here," he'd whispered into the phone. "You know she doesn't like Dan, anyway. He's terrified of her."
I tried to brush it off. Zander exaggerated everything.
But then, Mom wouldn't even say goodbye to me. Was she taking it harder than I'd thought she would? She never seemed happy to have all seven of us in her space after we moved out, but it must have been even worse with one of us gone for the biggest holiday of the year.
I wanted to tell her about Blake, but she didn't give me a chance. Would she be happy I met my mate, or would she be even angrier? Visiting Blake would be my focus for as long as our courting period required, which meant fewer trips home to see my folks.
I couldn't think about that now, or I'd never get to sleep. I stared up at the wood slats of the cabin's roof, imagining the tongue-and-groove fittings that held them together.
My mind wandered back to my favorite bedtime story, the three little pigs and their different houses. In my dream, they morphed into three bear cubs instead, each learning a different type of construction.
The big bad wolf looked more like my hyena shifter boss. Though he looked scary in his hyena form, he was a great foreman. He kept us safe on the job and worked with our union to make sure we were well compensated.
I woke with the unsettling need to call him. Had that come from the dream?
Blake snuggled closer to me, and I curled around him. Too soon, it would be time to return to our lives. I intended to court him back home, but what if he wasn't ready?
Over the next week, I read four books in my thriller series. When it got too hot in the cabin, which it still did from mid-morning to afternoon, I headed into the woods. The more time I spent with Maddie, the more she reminded me of my mom.
"I think I screwed up," I said on New Year's Eve morning after Ian and Kleah had left to get ready for their party.
Until they mentioned it, I'd forgotten the date.
The days between Christmas and New Year's always blurred together like an endless gray haze of too many snacks followed by naps, and this year was no different.
"Oh?" Maddie handed me a steaming cup of coffee, my second refill of the morning.
We sat on her back porch in our picks from a stack of well-loved and somewhat worn bath robes. Mine was too small at the shoulders, and the belt was more around my ribs than my waist, but it was long and wide enough to cover the important bits, which was all I needed.
Maddie's long brown hair sparkled with hints of gray where she'd twisted it into a messy bun. She stared intently into her cup as she stirred sugar into her fragrant tea.
"My mom," I said. I'd told Maddie about my family the first day we met in the woods. "When I called my family on Christmas Day, she wouldn't talk to me."
Maddie sipped her tea, scrunched up her nose, and added another spoonful of sugar. Then she grinned at me. "Let me guess. You've been the perfect son until now."
I shrugged. "Nobody's perfect."
"True." She took another sip and grinned before taking a longer drink. "They didn't expect you to be a good role model for your brothers?"
"Sure, but I made plenty of mistakes."
She nodded. "I'm sure you did. We all do. How did your parents react to them?"
I sighed. "My mom freaked out, my dad calmed her down, and then the three of us would discuss how I could avoid making the same mistakes in the future."
"Is your dad still alive?"
"Yes!" I knocked on the table to dislodge any frozen wood sprites who might be listening in on our conversation. I'd never seen a wood sprite, or any fae, for that matter, but I wasn't taking any chances. If shifters existed, they might, too.
She laughed but knocked on her side of the table, too. "Sounds like he's the rational one." She sipped at her tea.
I touched the steaming contents of my cup to my lips. Still too hot.
When I thought she was going to speak, she sipped her tea instead.
Finally, once my coffee had cooled to where I could drink without it burning all the way down my throat, she put her empty cup down on the table.
"Talk to him first. Tell him about your mate and see what he suggests for making amends with your mom. "
"That's a really good idea." I couldn't keep the awe from my voice.
"Don't act so surprised!" She kicked my shin under the table. "Unlike you, I was the problem child. Besides, you're not the first bear to wander in from the woods looking for advice."
"Problem child?" I teased. "I don't believe you."
After she shared a string of seven seemingly unrelated stories with an eighth that linked them all together, proving she was a criminal mastermind at the age of eight, I had to agree with her. Also, my coffee was long gone.
"I should head back to Blake."
"Ooh." Maddie grinned. "Do you two have big plans for the ball drop?"
"We don't even have a television." I loved watching the final five minutes of the show until the giant crystal ball descended in New York, but it would only be nine in the evening here.
"Do your own thing, then. Play music or a trivia game on your phone. Do you have a deck of cards? You could play strip poker."
"With two people?" I asked.
She swatted my arm before picking up my cup and carrying it inside. "I don't think you're desperate enough to see your mate naked," she called through the open patio door. "Are you sure he's your mate?"
"My bear is sure." He was already so far gone for Blake, though even my rational human mind wasn't far behind. We'd lucked out as far as mates went.
I wished he understood how wonderful he was. He still judged himself by his bad days, and he'd had nothing but bad days since his parents died. It was time for him to have some happiness in his life. I hoped he would allow me to give it to him.
"Go get your man," Mattie said before shutting the patio door. She cracked it open a moment later. "And Happy New Year!"
"Happy New Year!"
I dropped the bathrobe in the laundry basket next to the door. I shivered until I reached the bottom of the steps off the screened-in porch and shifted into my bear. Yes, we were sure Blake was our mate, but finding a deck of cards on such short notice was out of the question. Time to improvise.
When I returned to the cabin, I found Blake sprawled out on top of the comforter, naked and sound asleep. His notebooks were tucked under his side of the bed, along with his shoes. His clothes lay in a neat pile on his nightstand.
I shouldn't have stood in the doorway like a creeper, but the scent of his slick, faint but unmistakable, drew me in. I couldn't wait to drag my tongue between his cheeks and taste him for the first time. When he was ready.
I finally took a step back, trying to break the spell that urged me forward.
My gaze caught on his soft cock where it rested against his almost hairless thigh and the well-trimmed patch of hair above it.
His balls were also mostly hairless and hung low between his thighs.
I dragged my gaze away only to get hung up on his pert pink nipples. Nope, I couldn't stop there.
He must have pushed his hair out of his face while he slept, sweeping it straight up and putting his cherubic full lips and gorgeous face on full display.
The stress lines between his eyebrows and across his forehead had melted away while he slept, leaving him looking younger.
Like the sun, my mate was so attractive, it hurt to look at him.
I gripped the door frame and sighed. This wasn't for me.
Blake had retreated to the bedroom when the living room overheated.
He'd left the door open, and the bedroom got too hot, too.
I usually opened the window a couple inches when I was in here by myself.
The fireplace sucked all the oxygen out of the cabin, making us sleepy.
It was perfect for a hibernating bear, but not so great for a human with goals to accomplish on his vacation.
I took another step back into the hallway, scoring a point for my willpower.
Blake rolled onto his side, reaching for my pillow. "Ollie?"
The soft plea in his voice called to me like a siren song. I lost the ground I'd gained by backing away, and then I ventured a step inside the door.
"Blake?"
"I tried to wait for you." When he opened his eyes, they dilated with lust. "I'm ready."
My heart soared with hope, but I didn't want to make assumptions. "For what?"