Chapter 14
BLAKE
Ollie and I rang in the New Year with blow jobs. Our torsos lined up perfectly for sixty-nine. Usually, I was so much taller than my partner, it never worked out.
My height caused so many misunderstandings.
Other omegas thought I was an alpha, and I liked being on top, so I didn't correct them.
I'd had a lot of fun with another vers omega my senior year of college, but we were strictly fuck buddies.
We both graduated and went our separate ways, and that was that.
With Ollie, I felt a deeper connection. I sensed his vulnerability.
He and his bear wanted the control, but he'd relinquished it to me and trusted me with his pleasure.
Knowing that I did that for him, I made him feel good, was the power rush I needed from this trip.
I may not have been supervisor-worthy, but so far, I was boyfriend-worthy, or so I hoped.
My life wasn't instant sunshine and roses now that I'd taken this two-week vacation.
I had a three-page-long list of numbers to call and meetings to arrange when I got home.
When I read Ollie my list of things I liked to do over the pancakes I finally got around to making, he picked up on the Carving Delights group and asked me to explain what I liked best about it.
Since my favorite piece was my curved-top trunk with hidden shelves, he said cabinetry would fit best.
When I finished reading, he gave me the number for his union leader. "Cabinetry falls under carpentry, and he can tell you where to start for schooling."
They had schools for cabinetry? How had I gotten to be thirty years old without knowing that? "Awesome, thank you!"
Ollie blushed at my praise. I wanted to hold him tight to my chest while I shared everything I'd grown to love over the last two weeks.
"I mean it," I said. "You are awesome. Not only did I have a wonderful vacation, I might even find a new career, all thanks to you."
"It was nothing," he said, but his sweet smile made my heart expand in my chest.
After the new job prospects, the next item on my list would be to find a therapist. Two weeks and a notebook didn't cut my grief the way I'd hoped. I needed help, and I wasn't ashamed to admit it.
I would also take help in any form I could get it.
When Ollie bought an extra suitcase and filled it with the stuff I'd accumulated during our trip, including the Christmas decorations, I thanked him with yet another blowjob before our car arrived to take us to the airport.
The cabin cooled quickly after we doused the fire, but that didn't stop us.
I used all the tricks I had learned over the past few days to bring Ollie to the edge and push him over in a matter of minutes.
Before, I'd worried I wouldn't hold a lover's attention beyond a casual hookup. With Ollie, my confidence grew with each touch, kiss, and lust-filled look. The more we touched, the more he wanted me.
The feeling was mutual. We held hands while we checked out online, returned our matching keys to the lodge's empty front desk, and scooted into the back of a waiting Toyota Prius hatchback.
Even then, I couldn't keep my hands off him.
Our driver seemed oblivious as they listened to talk radio drone about Christmas gift return policies.
The seat was minimally wider than our cabin's loveseat, and Ollie's knee was right there for me to squeeze.
If my hand wandered closer to his crotch with each bump in the pothole-filled road, that was the road's fault.
We waited to compare boarding passes until we arrived at the terminal.
Fate had smiled on us again. Ollie and I had seats A and B in the emergency exit row.
Once we boarded and buckled into our seats, I leaned against his shoulder.
When we were strangers, I hated the amount of space he took up, but now, I was grateful for the warm pillow beneath my head.
"This is nice," Ollie whispered in my ear.
"Too nice." I sighed. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you, too, but it's only for a week. You'll come see me on Friday, right?"
Ollie had sent me his address in a text message, and I'd already committed the map to memory. I would have to drive through rush-hour traffic, most likely through snow according to Friday's forecast, but I couldn't wait.
We needed space and time to figure out how we fit in each other's lives beyond our vacation. I knew this on a logical level, but my heart ached every time I imagined spending a night without Ollie.
Time apart would be for my own good. That was my thought when my ride share pulled up outside the airport. I hugged Ollie fiercely and gave him another kiss that left us both breathless, and then it was time to return to my apartment without him.
Vic had turned the apartment's thermostat to fifty-five degrees as I'd asked, the lowest possible temperature to keep the pipes from freezing, but I hadn't realized how damn cold that was until my breath clouded around me in the barren living room.
I kept Ollie's jacket on and dragged my suitcases to my room.
On the way, I passed the space where Vic's couch used to be and the open doorway to his empty and vacuumed room. It smelled like lavender with an undercurrent of bleach. Vic was considerate like that. I already missed him.
My pajamas sat in a neat pile at the foot of my bed, exactly where I'd left them.
A little embarrassed part of me died when I realized I'd forgotten them, but looking back, I was glad.
I wore Ollie's clothes for a night, and now the soft sweatpants from the general store were my new favorites.
They would always remind me of our vacation.
The first of many, I hoped.
My phone chimed with a text as I hung Ollie's jacket on the standing coat hanger by the door.
The entire rack was empty now that Vic was gone, but I hung the jacket in my usual place, since I'd need it again tomorrow.
I hoped my winter coat was still slung over the back of my chair at work.
If someone had stolen it while I was gone, that would be yet another bullet point on my "Why I hate my job" list.
The text was from Vic. "You home?"
I thought about texting him, but the apartment walls echoed each tap on my phone. I walked back to my bedroom and hit the call button instead.
"Hey!" Vic answered. "How was your vacation?"
"It was great, thanks! How was your move?"
He cleared his throat. "Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about that. I accidentally broke the wooden bowl where we keep our keys. I tried to glue it back together."
I'd dropped my keys inside without looking. "You didn't have to tell me," I said.
"Yes, I did." He sighed. "You would have noticed the glue blotches, and then you would have been angry all over again. You're always angry."
"I am." Except that didn't sit right in my chest. "I was. I'm not anymore. I'm not mad about this. Things break. It's okay."
"You made that bowl for your mom." I heard the tears in Vic's voice. "I tried to fix it—"
"It's okay."
"It is?"
"Yes. Thank you for telling me."
"You're not mad?"
Tears stung my eyes. How long had my best friend lived in fear of my temper? "I'm not, I swear. I'm sorry."
"Do you want to grab coffee tomorrow before work?" Vic asked. "The little place down the street from your building?"
"Gods, yes, I already know I'm going to need coffee. Tea won't cut it."
He snorted. "I hear you. The first day back after vacation is always the hardest." Vic worked in the library a few blocks south of the coffee shop. It had been a common meeting place for us when our breaks lined up, back when we had been better friends.
"You'll tell me all about your move tomorrow?" I asked.
"Only if you tell me every detail of your boring-ass 'spend all my time alone' vacation," he countered.
"I wasn't alone."
I spent the next minute laughing at the ridiculous "ooh" sounds coming from Vic's mouth.
"Okay, now I'm intrigued," he said. "I might be inspired to get out of bed at my first alarm instead of hitting the snooze button."
We agreed to meet at seven since we both started our shifts at eight. After the call ended, I felt lighter. I made myself some dinner and read over my to-do list for the next week before turning in early, excited about tomorrow. I couldn't remember feeling so eager to begin a workday.
"You look good," Vic said. "See? Vacation is good for you."
I laughed and returned his shoulder hug. He already had two mugs topped with frothy milk and two vegan blueberry muffins for us at the little bistro table in the corner by the window. Outside, people rushed to their destinations, their thick puffs of breath trailing behind them.
"Tell me everything about your vacation!" Vic said as I took the first sip of caramel latte.
"You first." I grinned. "How do you like your new place?"
He chuffed a laugh. "You're going to hate me. I moved to the apartment we looked at a few years ago."
"The one in the old run-down building two blocks from here?" The building's gothic architecture intrigued me, with peaks, stained-glass windows, and portcullises everywhere. It was stunning, but the owners had been lax on their upkeep.
He nodded. "It's not as run-down now! The owners renovated. It's really nice."
I held up my mug and touched it to his, careful not to spill any. "Congratulations."
"You should come see it. I have the studio in the peak, the one with the image of the raven on the window."
"The one where we found the giant rat?" I blinked at him. "You're braver than I thought."
"Hey, I lived with you for three years."
I deserved that. "I'm sorry I made your life so hard these past few months."
"No." Vic shook his head. "This isn't about me. It's about us. We're codependent." He pointed at his coffee. "I swore I wouldn't hang out with you for at least a month, and here I am, asking you to coffee on our first day back to work."
"You're right. We were codependent."
"Ahem. Are. You're sitting here, too."
He wasn't wrong.
"It kinda hurt when you didn't text me at all while you were gone." He fumbled with a chip in his mug's handle to avoid my gaze.
"I didn't think of you."
He winced.
"That's not completely true. I avoided thinking of you. I wanted to move past my grief, and there you were, piling another loss on top of it all. I didn't want to be angry with you for two weeks, so I just … didn't think of you."
"Thanks, I guess." He met my gaze with a quick grin before returning his attention to the chip.
"I met someone."
He cupped his fingers around the mug's base and leaned forward. "Yes! Tell me."
"His name's Ollie." I told Vic about our encounter on the plane, about how Ollie stole my cab, and then how we ended up together at the cabin.
"And then you fell in love?" Vic batted his eyes at me. "How romantic!"
"It's not like that. We're in different places in our lives. I'll only drag him down if I don't get my shit together, so that's what I'm doing."
"Starting where?"
That was the big question. "Therapy, for sure. Downsizing the apartment, probably. I won't last more than two months without a roommate."
"Why not ask him to move in with you?"
"He owns his house. He built it."
"Ooh." Vic waggled his eyebrows. "Good with his hands. I like him already."
I nudged his shin with the toe of my boot. "Hush."
"When will you see him again?"
"I'm driving to his place on Friday."
"Get that alpha knot! That's my boy!"
I frowned at him. "Who said he's an alpha?"
Vic laughed. "You're kidding, right? I can smell him all over you."
I ran my hands down the front of the flannel jacket I'd commandeered. "Right. I left my coat at work. This is his."
Vic tapped his almost-empty cup against mine. "This move is already working out for one of us, at least."
"You live in a building made for Halloween, and you have ten months to plan an epic costume party. You're doing all right."
He grinned. "True. I've already talked to the girls who live on the first floor. They're on board with a house-wide party, if we can convince the other tenants."
We spent the rest of the hour reminiscing about past Halloween parties. When my watch's alarm buzzed, we carefully placed our ceramic mugs into the dirty dish box and hurried outside. The sky was far lighter now than when we'd first entered.
I gave Vic another quick hug. "Don't be a stranger."
"Same to you, asshole who didn't text me for two weeks while I was moving out of your fucking apartment." He hugged me so tight, my ribs popped.
I gave his shoulders one last squeeze, and we said our farewells. The fun part of the morning was over. Now, it was time to enter corporate call center hell.