Chapter 24
BLAKE
Three o'clock on Christmas Eve morning was way too early for the bullshit my pregnancy and parenthood book offered in its final chapters. How was I supposed to find a "new normal?" Nothing had been normal since Ollie and I met.
I shouldn't have put so much faith in one parenting book to show me the way. Now that I'd gotten to the end, I wanted to throw it across the room.
That would probably wake Rebecca, who slept peacefully, nestled against my chest. She'd fallen asleep nursing.
I'd expected my milk to dry up right away, since human omegas' usually did, but Denise reassured me everything was fine.
The babies might have shifted my genetic code a little. No big deal.
I didn't feel like a bear shifter. Ollie heard his bear's voice in his head, but I heard only the same intrusive thoughts that had always plagued me. My therapist Sharon had given me methods to stop them before they overwhelmed me. They were quieter now, and more positive, but still only mine.
Elias started to fuss, so I laid Rebecca back on her side of the crib.
I rocked her gently with my foot as I nestled Elias in the crook of my arm.
He rooted around on my chest eagerly until he found my nipple and started to suckle.
His thick brown hair was starting to grow in, reminding me of Ollie's.
Nope. Not going there. Not thinking about my sexy husband while my child nursed.
Once Elias was full and drowsy, I laid him down on his side of the double crib. Rebecca was still fussing a little, so I cranked the music box mobile that hung over their heads and let it play. It was too early to stay up for the day.
When I crept into our bedroom, Ollie's eyes were bright in the darkness. "Come here."
I climbed into bed with my back to him. I loved spooning in the morning.
With a single tug, he pulled me around so I was facing him. His hard cock pressed against my soft one, and I moaned.
"Missed you."
"I'm right here."
"You forgot to shut off the baby monitor," he said. "What were you thinking about?"
"Hmm?"
"You said, 'Nope, not going there,' to Elias."
I blinked. "You heard that?"
"I heard and smelled it. Something turned you on."
My face burned. "I was thinking of you, that's all." My traitorous cock stiffened in my pants.
"Thinking of this?" He dropped his head to graze his teeth over the bite mark on my neck. He scooted lower and licked my clavicle. "This?" His breath ghosted over my nipple, and the hairs on my arms bristled.
I moaned when his lips sealed around my pert flesh. He sucked hard on my already sensitive nipple.
My cock bounced along his abdomen. He gripped my ass and thrust against my thigh. "You taste so good," he whispered as he moved across my chest.
When he clamped down on my other nipple, I saw stars. I threaded my fingers through his hair and tugged on the strands. The strangled sound he made had me close to coming in my pants.
It had been a long time since we'd touched like this. Denise had given me the all-clear for sex a few weeks ago, but we'd been too exhausted for anything more than quick hand jobs in the shower while the babies slept.
Every nerve ending in my body came alive at Ollie's gentle touches. When he flipped me onto my back and continued down my body, pressing soft kisses to my heated skin, I couldn't help the needy noises in my throat. I grabbed my pillow and shoved it over my face so I wouldn't wake the babies.
Ollie's tongue traced a path up the underside of my cock, and then he was there, his lips sealed around the head, his tongue flat against my sensitive slit. I arched against him, trying to thrust more into his mouth.
He didn't disappoint, sucking me to the base, his nose pressing into my groin. He moaned around my cock before coming back up.
"You taste so good." His breath caressed the wet tip, and I shivered.
"Feels wonderful," I said. "Don't stop."
He laughed around my cock as he took me to the back of his throat. My toes curled, and I clutched the sheets in my hands, bracing for the inevitable orgasm building at the base of my spine.
Ollie's fingers brushed against my taint, and I flinched. It didn't hurt, but the memory of pain lingered. He cupped my balls instead, rolling them in their sac the way I loved. When he ventured behind them again, his touch was gentle but firm.
He stopped short of my hole, and I rolled my hips the rest of the way, pressing against his fingers. He moaned around me as he slid a finger inside.
I whimpered when his mouth left me. "Is this okay?" he asked.
"Yes. Please. Need you." His contented sigh tingled against my cock, and I wriggled on his finger. "Need more."
A second finger slid in beside the first, and he curled them in the right spot to tap my prostate the way I loved. "Yes!"
He sank down on my cock again and swallowed around the head. I clapped the pillow to my face with one hand and gripped the back of Ollie's head to hold him in place. I screamed his name into the pillow as my cock emptied down his throat.
He swallowed again and again, drinking every last drop. When he came up for air, he licked the moisture from his beard, mustache, and lips. His eyes glowed in the light from the baby monitor.
"Merry Christmas." He placed a tiny kiss on the head of my penis, making me twitch.
"My turn?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I can take care of myself in the shower."
"What if I want to ride your knot until we both come twice?"
He blinked at me. "That sounds wonderful, but you don't have to."
I grabbed him under the armpits and tugged him toward my mouth. I couldn't physically move him if he didn't want to move, but he came willingly. He tasted like morning breath and my cum, but I didn't care.
He did. "No more kissing until we've brushed our teeth."
I whined. "I like kissing."
"The moment we leave this bed, the kids will hear us," he reminded me. They had shifter hearing, which was unfortunate in times like these, when we struggled to stay quiet.
"Fine," I grumbled. "I'll be too busy riding your cock to kiss you, anyway."
He rolled onto his back and tugged my hips until I straddled him. "Are you sure? You flinched."
"It didn't hurt. I was scared." I gazed down at him. "I'm not anymore."
He grinned up at me, and I wanted to kiss him again. Instead, I teased his nipples until they were as perky as mine.
"That was fun," I whispered.
"It was." His smile turned feral.
I rubbed my rebounding cock against his rock-hard pole, and he shivered. "Stop teasing."
Our "new normal" was taking advantage of the peaceful moments when both twins slept. At any moment, we could run out of time. We needed this.
I propped his cock up and kneeled over him. Tracing the path of his fingers along the seam between my balls, between my legs, and against the tight ring of my hole, I gasped to find it still wet from my orgasm. I slid down over his shaft in one smooth stroke, and his fingers dug into my hips.
"Fuck, Blake. You're amazing."
The stretch burned a little, but it didn't hurt the way I'd feared. My thighs ached more from disuse. I hooked my ankles behind Ollie's knees and leaned over him, rubbing my cock against his hairy belly.
He pulled me down with one hand on my nape. Instead of kissing me, he nipped at my neck and shoulders. Already, I felt his knot forming near the base of his cock, stretching me open even wider.
"That's it," I whispered in his ear. "Come for me, Ollie. I want your knot."
His legs trembled from the effort it took to thrust against me with each of my downstrokes. He froze beneath me and bit down on the palm of his hand. I kept going, loving the feel of his cock kicking against my prostate as he filled me with his cum.
His knot expanded, locking us together. I continued to rock against him. The pressure was exquisite, pushing me closer to the edge of my second orgasm.
I closed my lips around Ollie's shoulder muscle, trying my best not to be too loud as my cock spurted between us. It was Ollie's turn to cover his face with the pillow. He grunted and rocked against me as he came again.
"Fuck, that was intense," he whispered once our breath returned to normal. "So fucking good."
His cock slipped from me, and I shivered as the frigid air contacted my slick.
The baby monitor flashed with a sound too faint for me to hear, and Ollie snorted. "Just in time. You shower. I'll take diaper duty."
I pressed my lips to the purple mark I'd made on his neck. Life with Ollie wasn't my new normal. It was my everyday joy and delight.
We both yawned through Christmas Eve dinner.
We weren't the only ones. With three sets of parents with children under the age of one, we weren't exactly party people.
Nora didn't mind. She and Walter's twins, Liam and Petra, talked animatedly through dinner, ignoring the rest of us.
The twins had started preschool in the fall, and they told Nora all about the drawings now stuck to her refrigerator door.
"What do you think Santa will bring you?" she asked Liam once they'd exhausted the school topic. "I bet it's nail clippers."
Liam had once again attacked the balsam fir Christmas tree in the living room, this time sheering a few boughs from the bottom.
Nora and Petra had spent a few minutes twisting them together and adding garland and tinsel to form a centerpiece around a giant Santa-shaped candle.
Nora bedazzled with the Christmas decorations, even on the table.
I couldn't see the tablecloth through the strings of colorful lights wrapped in white garland, miniature Christmas village buildings, and snowman placemats.
"No." Liam gave his head a violent shake. "Santa won't bring me nail clippers."
"For cats." Nora nodded, but there was a glint of mischief in her eye.
"Grandma!" He curled his arms over his little chest and stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "He will not!"
She laughed and patted his head. "Probably not. Krampus might."
"What's Krampus?" Petra asked.
As Nora told the story of Krampus, Liam shrank further into his seat, while Petra leaned closer, completely enthralled with the tale. "I hope Krampus visits Mark and Billy."
Liam nodded. "Yeah."
"He might visit you, too," Petra said, elbowing Liam in the side. "You were mean to Violet."
"Who's Violet?" Nora asked.
Together, the twins told her about a kitten shifter in their daycare class. "She's so small," Liam said. "She follows me around like she's going to be a mountain lion someday, but she's not. She's just a cat."
"Nobody is 'just a cat,'" his mom, Michelle, said quietly. "She's following you because you look and smell like her, even if your form is a lot bigger."
"But Mom—"
"I'm not saying you have to be best friends." Michelle stared across the table at her son, and his shoulders deflated even more. "Be kind to her. Invite her to play with you and your friends." She shifted her gaze to Petra.
"I do!" Petra's bottom lip quivered. "She doesn't want to play with me."
Michelle nodded. "She doesn't know you, that's all." Her gaze shifted back to Liam, and his chin puckered. "I don't know Violet's parents, but I'll ask the school when we get home. It sounds like a playdate is in order."
Petra clapped her hands, and Liam looked relieved.
Nora smiled at her daughter-in-law. "That's a wonderful idea."
Walter hid his smile behind his hand as he shoved another bite of stuffing in his mouth.
"Yeah, great idea, Michelle," Dan said from his spot at the foot of the table, across from Zander.
Nora scowled at him, but she said nothing, to everyone's relief. She wouldn't change overnight, but she was working on it. Maybe when Zander and Dan's daughter, Nina, was old enough to thaw her heart the way Liam had, she would lighten up even more.
Despite our early-morning antics and the food coma I should have been in, I couldn't sleep in Ollie's old bedroom. He snored softly beside me, and I stared up at the ceiling, my mind racing.
The clatter of pots and pans drew me to the kitchen. I found Nora spreading coconut oil on her baking sheets.
"I thought you'd be passed out by now," she said. "I'm making your chocolate chip cookies."
"Want some help?"
She grinned at me. "I'd love some."
Working with her in the kitchen reminded me of the quiet ease Ollie and I had. We didn't need to speak beyond quick directions of who was doing what. Once I finished stirring the dough with the electric mixer, we each took out a spoon to roll the dough into balls.
"I'll get there with Dan eventually," Nora said as she placed the first ball on her cookie sheet.
I snorted and nudged my arm against her shoulder. The ball she was rolling slipped out, and she shrieked. I caught it before it hit the floor, and we laughed.
"You're great with the kids," I said.
"They look up to me. I didn't realize how much until Petra asked me why I don't like her mom." She sniffled. "I love those kids, and I love how wonderful Michelle is with them and with Walter. She's nothing like me, and we'll never be friends, but she's a great mom and partner."
My throat was too tight for words. I nodded and dropped another ball of dough onto my cookie sheet.
Finally, after the cookies were in the oven, I tried again. "My parents would have loved Ollie. All of you, honestly."
Nora curled her arm around my middle and tugged me in for a hug, even though we were both covered with flour and splatters of dough. "This time of year must be hard for you."
I nodded, though she couldn't see me. "It is. I thought I could handle last year alone, but—"
She hugged me tighter. "That's why fate brought you and Ollie together. It hurt like hell when he missed our family Christmas, but you found each other. That's all that matters."
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, though it was hard for me to see.
"Thank you for inviting us into your family." Cassie should have been here for dinner, but she'd stayed up all night on the 23rd to finish her final paper for the semester. She texted to say she would be here early Christmas morning.
"You and Cassie are easy to love," Nora said. "Your parents must have done a great job raising you."
"They were the best." I sniffled.
"So were mine." Nora hugged me close one more time, and then she turned away, yanking the electric tea kettle from its moorings and starting the cold water in the sink. "Let's have some tea and share stories while we wait for Santa to come."
I couldn't think of a better way to spend Christmas Eve.