3. Dennis
Dennis
Jesus Christ, Dennis thought as he led the other man into the cabin, only now noticing the second car in the parking area, how had his life come to this?
One minute he was happily taking a walk on his solo vacation; the next he had a naked man following him, chattering excitedly about how good a bedmate he would be.
“...and I’m a really good cuddler,” Bjorn was saying as Dennis opened the front door. “My little cousins all love to curl up with me, especially when I’m in bear form, because I’m so cuddly. So don’t worry, you won’t be cold tonight!”
“We’re not sharing the bed,” Dennis ground out for what felt like the fiftieth time. “You’re coming in and sitting on the couch. If it comes down to it, you can sleep there as well.”
Both men eyed the couch, which was actually more of a loveseat, and was probably about five feet wide, and then Bjorn turned doubtful eyes on him. Dennis was preparing his next argument when Bjorn smiled determinedly and nodded. “Oh, sure, that’s fine.”
And that quick agreement wasn’t suspicious at all, he thought with full sarcasm.
“Good. Glad we’ve got that straight.” He looked at Bjorn, trying to adopt a critical attitude instead of one that screamed Your nakedness is confusing me.
“And for fuck’s sake, put on some clothes. ” Oops. So much for that.
Bjorn looked down at himself in apparent surprise. “Oh, I forgot I wasn’t wearing anything,” he said cheerfully. “Hazards of being a shifter! I left my clothes by the creek and my suitcase is out in my car. Wait, uh, if I go out to the car…you’ll let me back in, right?”
And there were those goddamn puppy-dog eyes again. Did the guy know he was doing it? Was he that much of a master manipulator? And why was Dennis still falling for it? “Yes,” he grumbled, “I’ll let you back in.”
“Okay!” And Bjorn turned and strolled out the front door, presumably heading for his car. Dennis did not eyeball his ass as he went. Nope, definitely didn’t. Which was why he couldn’t possibly know that it was high and tight and lightly furred.
Goddamn it. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sank down on the couch, wondering exactly what the fuck he was going to do if the cabin’s owner continued to be incommunicado.
There was no way Bjorn would fit on the couch, and they both knew it, but the hell if Dennis was giving up his bed so he could sleep on a worn-out loveseat that he didn’t fit on, either.
The front door opened again. “Oh, hey,” said Bjorn’s voice, “look who I found pulling in!” A startled-looking delivery man was pushed through the door, followed by Bjorn, still nude and now carrying four grocery bags in each hand.
“Go on in, little dude. I’m sure Dennis wants to give you your tip or whatever. ”
“I - I -” the delivery man stuttered, glancing over his shoulder, wide-eyed, at Bjorn.
“I really don’t -” He turned back around and caught sight of Dennis, visibly relaxing a bit when he realized that Dennis wasn’t also lounging around in the buff.
“I just need to drop off the groceries and get a photo of the delivery?” It came out sounding like a somewhat desperate question.
Dennis held in his snort of amusement. It wouldn’t be nice to laugh at this innocent guy who’d just gotten caught up in Hurricane Bjorn. He stood and gestured the delivery man toward the kitchen. “Go for it. Bjorn, put those down.”
Bjorn glanced down at his encumbrances, looking mildly surprised to discover they were still there.
“Oh, right, sure.” He hurried into the kitchen and started putting down bag after bag.
“Guess you wanted to get it all done in one grocery order, huh?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder at Dennis.
“Hah, I suppose I can’t make fun of you for that when I just insisted on getting it all done in one grocery bag load. ”
“Uh, can I just…” Delivery man waved a helpless hand toward the bags and brandished his phone. “Without you in it?”
Bjorn looked down at the bags, then himself, and laughed again. “Oh, right.” He stepped back and promptly almost tripped over his own huge foot, but caught himself against the counter.
Dennis resisted the urge to facepalm.
Bjorn gave them an abashed smile and shrug. “I’m gonna go grab that suitcase,” he announced, and headed back toward the front door, leaving Dennis alone with the delivery man.
“Sorry about him,” Dennis said immediately, picturing his customer rating on the grocery app plummeting when this guy reported that he’d been greeted by a stranger’s dick.
“He’s, uh…” A nudist? Looney-tunes? Finally, he settled on the truth.
Well, the truth, excluding the part where Dennis was relatively sure Bjorn was looney-tunes. “He’s a shifter.”
“Ahhh.” The delivery guy nodded. “I get it. They’re always wandering around naked. Startled the hell out of me, though, I gotta tell ya.”
Dennis winced. “Yeah, sorry. I - we - forgot you were due, or I’d have made him put on pants before going outside.”
“Well, let me just…” Delivery man snapped a photo of the grocery bags on the kitchen floor, tapped a few buttons on his phone, and nodded to himself. “Okay, I’m good. Uh, have a good day.”
Yeah, that wasn’t going to be happening, not with Bjorn hanging around. He felt his scowl come back, even though he didn’t mean to direct it at the innocent guy standing next to him. “You too,” he managed to say relatively civilly, and gestured the delivery man toward the door.
The man obediently followed the gesture, but as he reached the front door, it opened, and Bjorn - still fucking nude - walked in rolling a suitcase and almost ran him over.
“Oops,” Bjorn sang, catching the delivery man by one arm, “sorry!” He made sure the guy was steady and then stepped aside.
“I didn’t think you’d be out of here so quick! ”
Had…Bjorn ever had anything delivered before in his life? Because in Dennis’s experience, delivery people wanted to be in and out, lickety-split.
Delivery guy offered Bjorn a nervous smile and backed through the door, mumbling to them to have a good day, please leave a five-star review, it’s been a pleasure serving you.
“Well!” Bjorn turned to Dennis, his dick visibly flopping against his thigh with the movement because yes, he was still - let Dennis reiterate - naked. “Alone again.” He offered Dennis a winning smile. “What shall we do with ourselves?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“No.”
“You sure?” Eyebrow wiggle.
“Absolutely sure. This is not a thing. We’re not a thing. The sky fairies can suck it.”
Bjorn’s smile dimmed slightly and he gave Dennis a reproving look. “I don’t think you should be so rude toward the fates. You never know how they might get back at you.”
“Like by sending me some crazy bear-dude who can’t control his shift, wanders around naked, and pushes his way into my vacation?” Dennis shot back.
“Hey,” Bjorn protested, “everybody knows shifts become temporarily involuntary when you meet your fated mate and they don’t regulate again until after you’re claimed.
So that’s not my fault! And the nudity just sort of followed from the shifting.
And who’s to say that you aren’t pushing your way into my vacation?
Like we said, we both rented the place fair and square.
” He sniffed haughtily. “And I think if you’re mean to the fates, maybe they’ll send you a really bad cold, or a fender-bender where you’re at fault, or…
or…” He waved a hand. “Or you’ll get food poisoning! ”
Dennis rolled his eyes. “And on that note,” he said, and bent to start putting away the groceries, starting with the cold stuff. Yessss, there was his beloved steak for tonight, a nice, marbled ribeye.
Bjorn let out a quiet “Ooh” next to him. “That’s a beautiful steak.”
“Mine,” Dennis blurted, covering the steak with one hand like he could keep Bjorn from getting to it.
“No, I know.” Were those the puppy-dog eyes again? Goddammit. “I won’t steal your food. Well, I mean, I’ll need to eat something, and I guess that would be out of your food supply, but I’m not, like, gonna steal your good steak.” He paused, looking hopeful. “Unless you have two?”
Technically, Dennis had more than two, because he’d bought groceries for two weeks and had planned plenty of grilling during that period, but he decided not to share that. “Nope,” he said instead. “Just lots of vegetables.” There, that ought to turn off a bear shifter, he thought.
Inexplicably, Bjorn brightened. “Ooh, do you have broccoli? And maybe some cheese or cheese sauce I could put on top?”
Dennis considered claiming the broccoli for himself as well, but ultimately just sighed and continued putting away groceries. “Yes, there’s broccoli, and there’s some sandwich-sized slices of American cheese in one bag or another.”
Bjorn started rooting through the bags, periodically announcing what he was finding with the enthusiasm of a five-year-old.
“Ooh, Pop Tarts! Oh, hey, I love honeycrisp apples! My man, you got honey mustard pretzels? Score!” Dennis just gritted his teeth and continued his work, trying to ignore how disruptive this guy's personality was going to be to his time here.
To his life in general, if the bear got his way.
As they emptied the last bag onto the counter - a container of raspberries, two pints of Phish Food ice cream, frozen chopped onion, and a pack of chicken breasts - Bjorn turned to him and smiled. “You have good taste in groceries.”
Dennis scoffed. “What the hell does that even mean?”
“I mean, it’s like having good taste in food. Except one step removed, I guess. I approve of your ingredients as well as your prepared foods.” Bjorn’s smile widened. “We’re food-compatible.”
“We’re nothing-compatible,” Dennis immediately shot back. “I already told you, we’re not doing this.”
Bjorn nodded but didn’t look the slightest bit persuaded. “Yup, I know. We’re just two guys, sharing a cabin. With one bed. Probably overnight.”