Chapter 6 Phoenix
Phoenix
“Can I help you?” I asked, eyebrow raised as I stared at the Beastkin in front of me. He was a tall, muscular, jock-type guy with a bewildered look on his face. “Apologies if I ran into you.”
The guy just kept staring at me, his mouth slightly open like he’d seen a ghost. I noticed his lower tusks, they were more pronounced as his lips parted.
His body was covered in fine dark-brown hair, and he had the most beautiful dark brown eyes.
I watched his tall, pointed ears flick in discomfort or annoyance.
Clearly, he was looking for a reaction from me and not getting it.
“Seriously, are you okay?” I asked, taking a small step back. The intensity of his gaze was starting to get a bit unnerving, especially when I have no idea who he was or why he looked like he’d just witnessed a miracle.
“You…” he stared, then stopped. “You don’t know who I am?”
I studied his face more carefully, trying to place him.
When I was a child, I’d known some creatures.
But this couldn’t be one of them. They all lived on the other side of the country.
If they were going to go to college, it would be at the academy in Oregon, not here.
And since I was ten, I’d never had another friend outside of the witch community.
“I don’t,” I replied honestly. “But I think we have the same class together. Professor Blackwood seemed impressed with you.” I held out my hand. “My name is Phoenix Emberwood.”
The Beastkin’s face fell, a flash of hurt crossing his features before he quickly masked it. The shift was so sudden that I wondered if I’d imagined it.
“Right,” he said, his deep voice gruff. “Same class.”
He didn’t take my outstretched hand. Instead, he stepped back, putting more distance between us. The pendant around my neck remained cool against my skin, which meant my parents weren’t monitoring this interaction too closely. Probably because he was just a classmate, not a friend.
“Nice to meet you,” I said, letting my hand drop awkwardly to my side. “Are you new here too?”
“No,” he replied curtly. “I was here before. Took some time off.”
There was something about the way he said it that suggested there was more to the story, but his closed-off expression made it clear he wasn’t interested in elaborating. His ears flattened slightly against his head, a gesture I recognized from my childhood as a sign of discomfort.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you in class,” I offered, trying to be polite despite his strange behavior.
The Beastkin stared at me for another long moment, his dark eyes searching mine for something I couldn’t understand. Then, without another word, he brushed past me and walked away, his powerful frame moving with surprising grace for someone so large.
I watched him go, a strange feeling of unease settling in my stomach.
There was something familiar about him, something I couldn’t quite place.
The way his ears twitched when he was uncomfortable, the particular shade of his eyes.
.. it stirred a longing that I didn’t understand.
I hadn’t been allowed near any monsters in eight years.
Nobody outside witch circles knew me. My parents made sure of it.
As I continued toward my next class, I found myself glancing over my shoulder, half-expecting to see him watching me. But the path behind me was empty.
Throughout the rest of the day, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I was missing something important.
The name Laurent echoed in my mind, but I couldn’t connect it to anything specific.
Perhaps he had been famous at the school before I arrived?
That would explain why he seemed to expect me to recognize him.
By the time I returned to my dorm room that evening, I was exhausted from the combination of classes, navigating social interactions, and keeping up appearances for Thomas’s benefit. As expected, my roommate was already there, his nose buried in a thick tome about ancestral witch bloodlines.
“Phoenix,” he greeted without looking up. “I trust your first day was productive?”
“Very,” I replied, dropping my bag onto my bed. “The classes seem challenging.”
“As they should be.” Thomas finally glanced up, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied me. “You seem... distracted.”
I shrugged, trying to appear casual. “Just tired. It’s been a long day.”
“Indeed.” He returned to his book, but I could feel him watching me from the corner of his eye. “By the way, I encountered some interesting information about your Advanced Magical Method class today.”
My blood ran cold. I kept my expression neutral as I pulled off my jacket, but inside I was panicking. “Oh?”
“It seems there was quite a commotion after class. A student witnessed Professor Blackwood conducting some sort of elemental testing.” Thomas set his book aside, giving me his full attention. “Apparently, one of the... creature students displayed unusual abilities.”
I hung my jacket in the wardrobe, grateful for the excuse to turn away from his scrutinizing gaze. “I wasn’t really paying attention to the other students. I had to get to my next class.”
“Hmm.” The sound was noncommittal but loaded with skepticism. “The reports suggested it was quite dramatic. Crystals glowing, objects floating. The sort of display that would be difficult to miss if you were paying attention.”
My hands trembled slightly as I arranged my textbooks on the desk. The pendant against my chest remained mercifully cool, suggesting my parents weren’t actively monitoring this conversation. Yet.
“Like I said, I was already gone and heading across campus.” I forced myself to turn back toward him, hoping my face didn’t betray the anxiety clawing at my throat. “Why are you so interested, anyway? We don’t care about…” I swallowed hard, forcing the words up. “Their kind.”
Thomas’s pale eyes glittered with something that made my stomach twist. “My family has always been... vigilant about unusual magical manifestations. Particularly when they occur in unexpected populations.”
The way he said it sent chills down my spine. Vigilant. As if magical ability in non-witch students was some kind of threat to be monitored and contained.
“I see,” I managed, settling onto my bed with what I hoped appeared to be casual disinterest.
“The Academy’s new policies are quite permissive,” Thomas continued, his tone suggesting he found this deeply troubling. “Allowing creatures to explore magical abilities and methodologies that were never meant for them. It’s... concerning.”
I thought about the Beastkin from earlier, the way his face had fallen when I didn’t recognize him. Had he been the one Thomas was referring to? The one who’d made crystals glow and objects float? Professor Blackwood had asked him to stay after class. That I remembered.
“I’m sure the professors know what they’re doing,” I said carefully.
“Do they?” Thomas leaned forward, his voice dropping to barely above a whisper. “Phoenix, I hope you understand the importance of maintaining... proper associations while we’re here. Our families’ reputations depend on it.”
The threat was subtle but unmistakable. I was being warned to stay away from whoever had caused such a stir in class today. The irony wasn’t lost on me, here I was, desperate to break free from my parents’ prejudices, only to find myself rooming with someone who would gladly serve as their spy.
“Of course,” I lied smoothly. “But you misunderstand me.”
Thomas scowled, the expression cold and calculating. “Do I?”
“I only meant that, for appearance sake, we need the professors to believe that they aren’t being surveyed. We want them to show their true colors.”
“Why would we encourage them to continue this frankly disgusting behavior?” Thomas growled, scrunching up his nose in disgust.
“Because,” I insisted, leaning into the lie.
“If we make them feel like they’re being watched, they’ll be careful.
They’ll watch what they say.” I saw the realization dawning on his face as I dug myself deeper.
“But this way we’ll know who’s actually on our side.
Then we tell the right people and—” I snapped my fingers. “Problem solved.”
Thomas practically beamed at me, his beady little eyes full of hunger. “So, you are your father’s son,” he nodded. “You had me worried for a moment.”
My insides squirmed. The last person I wanted to be like was my father. But I knew how he thought after years of careful tutoring and his rants after too many glasses of brandy in the evening.
“I just play my part well,” I replied, not letting my facade crack. “Something that maybe you should do as well.” I gave him a once over, wrinkling my nose. “You reek of pretentiousness and Purity Front sentimentality. It’s going to get you in trouble.”
Thomas flinched at my sharp rebuke, the momentary superiority in his expression faltering.
“I assure you, my discretion is impeccable,” he said stiffly. “My family has been operating within these circles for generations.”
“And yet you’re asking obvious questions about a monster student in our shared dorm room,” I pointed out. “Walls have ears, Thomas. Always assume we’re being listened to.”
I was improvising wildly, pulling from memories of my father’s paranoid lectures, but Thomas seemed to buy it. He nodded gravely, looking properly chastised.
“You’re right, of course. Forgive my indiscretion.”
I waved a dismissive hand. “Just be more careful.”
As Thomas returned to his book, I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
The lies I’d spun with Thomas made me nearly sick to my stomach, but I forced it all away.
I’d learned a long time ago that living with these sorts of people required quick thinking and fake camaraderie if I wanted to avoid severe punishment.
Better to pretend to be one of them than be the focus of their ire.
However, the moment my mind was off my parents’ world, all I could think of was that afternoon. The Beastkin’s reaction to me kept replaying in my mind. The hurt in his eyes when I didn’t recognize him, like I’d gone out of my way to cause him pain.
Laurent. The name tugged at something in my memory, like a word on the tip of my tongue. I closed my eyes, trying to remember where I might have heard it before. It was French of course, but beyond that, I couldn’t think of why I’d know it.
My dreams that night were strange and disjointed.
Flashes of a forest I’d never seen, yet somehow knew intimately.
Running through trees with someone by my side, laughter echoing around us.
A warm summer day by a creek, small fires dancing in my palm while another boy, a Beastkin boy, watched with fascination rather than fear.
I woke with a start, my heart racing. The room was still dark, Thomas’s steady breathing from the other side telling me it was nowhere near morning. The pendant against my chest remained cool, meaning my parents weren’t checking in. Small mercies.
I sat up quietly, running a hand through my hair. These dreams felt more like memories, but that was impossible. My parents had never allowed me near Beastkin children. They’d made sure of that.
Unless...
A thought struck me so suddenly I nearly gasped aloud.
Oregon, before we’d moved. There were several children I’d met there that weren’t witches.
One of them, if I remembered correctly, was a Beastkin too.
But could it be him? I searched my memory for a face, a voice, or even a fleeting moment of happiness.
But all I could recall was my dream. And each time I tried to focus in on his face, my memory blurred like it was purposefully trying to stop me from seeing him.
Had my memory been modified?
It wasn’t impossible. Memory alteration was difficult magic, but my parents were exceptionally talented. If they’d discovered a friendship they disapproved of, they might have gone to extremes to erase it. Or at least try.
Laurent.
The name echoed in my mind again, and this time I let myself explore it. Had I known someone with that name? The Beastkin from earlier clearly expected me to recognize him. His hurt when I didn’t felt personal, like a betrayal.
I slipped out of bed and moved silently to the window, careful not to wake Thomas. The moon hung low in the sky, casting silver light across the campus grounds. In the distance, I could see the dark outline of the forest that surrounded Widdershins.
Something pulled at me, an urge to go outside, to find that Beastkin and demand answers. But that was madness. The pendant would alert my parents immediately if I went anywhere near him with intent to socialize. And if they discovered I was questioning their past actions...
I shuddered, remembering the one time I’d dared to ask about our sudden move from Oregon. My father’s rage had been terrifying, his magic crackling around him like lightning. The punishment had been severe enough that I never brought it up again.
But here, at Widdershins, I was supposed to be finding my own path. Making my own choices. If Laurent was someone from my past, someone important enough that forgetting him felt like a betrayal, didn’t I owe it to myself to find out the truth?
I returned to bed, my mind racing with possibilities.
Tomorrow, I decided. Tomorrow I would go to the library and figure out how to undo memory modification spells.
The pendant might know who I was near, but it couldn’t see what I was reading.
And I had to find out, had to know why my chest ached when I thought of this boy that I couldn’t remember.
As I drifted back to sleep, the dream returned, more vivid this time. Two boys sitting on a fallen log, one human with fire dancing in his palm and the other with brown eyes and short tusks, smiling like it was the most beautiful thing in the world.