Chapter 50
Chapter Fifty
BELLAMY
K airoth led me away from the east wing and toward the garden. I walked next to him, the entire time my mind spinning over that kiss. As soon as his lips touched mine, the memories of our first kiss flooded back to me. I’d been so sick I hadn’t remembered it, but now, now I wasn’t sure there was anything that could make me forget either kiss. He kissed me like I was the air he needed to breathe.
Spirits below, those lips. The way they’d prodded mine open with hunger and want and need. I wanted him too. That wasn’t even the scary part. The scary part was that wanting him felt right. Everything about us felt right so far. He knew what it was like to be an outcast, to be different, to not feel loved.
When Kairoth and I talked, I felt seen in a way I never had before. I touched my lips again, this time a slight smile on them.
“Here we are,” Kairoth said.
I stopped in front of the garden. The sky had turned a deep purple by now, the moon and stars fully visible and glowing bright.
I walked up to the black iron gate and opened it, stepping inside the garden and blinking a few times to make sure I was seeing things right.
Nettle weed spread across the ground, full and abundant with its dark pink flowers blooming, triple the amount that had been there before. More than enough to finish my sweaters.
“Is this where you’ve been all this time?” I turned to Kairoth. “Finding nettle weed to plant in your garden?”
He shook his head. “No. This was the last stop on my journey. Now you have as much as you need to finish the sweaters, to free your brothers.”
I stared at the nettle weed in awe, walking toward it and reaching for it, itching to get started again.
He grabbed my arm, and I whirled.
“There are rules,” he said.
I shook free of his grasp. “You and your rules.”
“You will consult with Leoni and Driscoll about this flower. I actually had a similar idea using some herbs and plants that are common here, but the hastasias flower will work. You’ll use it after every time you touch the nettle weed, and if you run out, you’ll wait until you have more of the salve. I’ll make sure Goji, Driscoll, and Leoni have all the hastasias they need to get started on making a salve for you.”
My throat grew thick. Everyone was coming together to help me. This didn’t benefit any of them, yet they weren’t hesitating to help.
I thought about the bargain I’d just made with that prisoner. She’d told me where to get nettle weed, and now I didn’t even need it. It was fine. I’d cut some weeds and allowed a little light into her cell. It wasn’t as if I’d set her free.
“Are you alright?” This time, when Kairoth lay a hand on my arm, his touch was gentle, unsure.
I jolted from my thoughts. “Thank you, ” I signed. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”
He slid his hand down my arm and threaded his fingers with mine. “That’s not all. Come on.”
He led me through the garden to the other side with another gate, already partially open. His shadows stretched out and pushed the gate farther open, but the tall grass and weeds prevented it from budging any further. We squeezed through, Kairoth still holding my hand as he led me toward the jungle that spread around his castle.
I wanted to ask him where we were going, but he didn’t look back, just kept moving forward. Moonlight bathed the trees in a silvery glow, a warm breeze rustling the leaves.
We walked between the trees and into the jungle, plunging into darkness. “Just a little farther,” he whispered in my ear, breath warm, his hand so firm and steady.
We went slowly, stepping over raised roots, feeling our way around trees, until we came to a clearing. Palm trees and other plant life surrounded a large pond, the moon glinting off its calm surface. My breath hitched.
Sitting in the water were seven swans.
“I thought you might want to be close to them,” Kairoth said. “This pond is the closest body of water. It’s also well hidden in the jungle. Your brothers will be safe here.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, emotions bubbling up in me that I’d pushed away for so long. I felt overwhelmed with them, scared by them. I needed air. I needed to get out of this jungle and away from these feelings.
I backed up a few steps before turning and running. Kairoth called after me, but I didn’t look back, didn’t stop.
Darkness swept over me once more, and I stumbled several times, blindly feeling my way through the jungle until I burst through the foliage and back out near the garden. I leaned against a tree as tears trailed down my cheeks, unable to control this flood of emotions. I’d cried more in the shadow court than I ever had in my sixty years spent in the Wilds.
“I’m sorry.” Kairoth appeared beside me, and I wiped my tears. Of course he’d easily find me. “I thought you would like it, but if I did something wrong?—”
I shook my head, not turning my head to look at him, just signing the words I needed to say. “You’re doing everything right, and that’s confusing. Because you’re supposed to be this awful god who wants to destroy the world. Everything I know about you since I arrived is being turned on its head, and I don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t know what to think. You tell me you don’t want to free the other gods, but there’s so much I still don’t understand. About you. Your past. Your goals.”
But it wasn’t just that.
I swallowed, not sure if I was ready to admit this next part. I did it anyway. “No one’s ever done things like this for me.” I gestured to the garden.
“Why not?” Kairoth asked, voice low. “You deserve so much more than this. You deserve... everything.”
His words sparked a fire in me. I still wasn’t sure I believed him, but gods, if he didn’t make me feel something I hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Wanted. Deserved. Revered.
I wheeled around to face him, reaching through his shadows, grabbing his shirt, and yanking him to me. I stretched up and pressed my lips to his, melting into him.
This kiss was driven by need and desire, by pure lust. He brought his hands to my hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and tugging my head back as he plunged his tongue inside of my mouth.
I moaned while he kissed me deeper, harder, pressing me up against the tree and pinning me there with his body. I let my hands roam over his strong shoulders and arms, wanting to feel every part of him. Spirits below, every part of him was so hard and chiseled. I hadn’t known what I expected. He was a god, but actually touching him and feeling the planes of his muscles made him so much more real.
“Where do you want my hands?” he said against my mouth, voice rough. “Where should I touch you?”
Bloody stars. No one had ever asked me that before. Just shoved their hands wherever they wanted them. My core throbbed with his words.
I grabbed his wrist, then skimmed his hand down my stomach, under my nightgown, and in between my legs. His shadows slipped from his arms down my body. They moved under my skirt and up my legs.
He shot me a wicked smile. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you there. To know how wet you’d be for me.” But he withdrew his hand just as his shadows slithered from his arm and in between my legs.
Oh. My. Gods.
Heat danced across my thighs where the shadows grazed. I gasped, and Kairoth captured the sound with his mouth, using his hands to pin mine against the tree.
The shadows moved around my thighs, languid and slow, teasing. Heat pooled in my belly, searing down to my core, all while Kairoth continued to ravage me with his mouth, so much delicious pressure in so many different places on my body.
The shadows glided from my thighs to inside my panties. Flickers of heat and pressure danced over my center, lighting me from within. Kairoth slid his hands down my collarbone to my breasts. He massaged them, his thumb rubbing around my hard nipples that peaked through my nightgown.
“You’re so fucking delicious,” he murmured, then captured my mouth again as his hands roamed around to my ass. He lifted me ever so slightly so that the tips of my toes barely grazed the ground.
All the while, his shadows continued to flick and caress and rub against my clit. So many sensations my body could barely handle them all. Every time a shadow rubbed a quick circle around my clit, it pushed me closer toward the edge. I rocked into the shadows’ movement, and Kairoth deepened our kiss even more. Our mouths, our tongues, grew frantic. Our kiss messy and wet and sumptuous. Pleasure lit every corner of my body, sparking, igniting, until I was molten in his arms, panting as he edged me closer and closer toward a cliff. His shadows increased their pressure, rubbing quick, hard circles around my center. Tension coiled between my legs, my stomach clenching as the pleasure intensified.
I wanted so badly to moan out his name, to have the feel of it on my tongue as I came apart.
My hips pushed forward as my body grew tighter and tighter. I gasped into his mouth, the pleasure ripping through me while Kairoth held me, his shadows unrelenting, pushing me through my orgasm until I could barely breathe.
I gripped his shoulders tight, clinging to him and throwing my head back against the tree. My breathing slowed, and the shadows vanished, appearing back around Kairoth’s arms.
He cradled me gently. In a way I’d never have expected from this beastly god. He was just content to hold me in silence until my legs stopped shaking and my heart rate returned to normal.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a few weeks now,” he said. “I wondered what your body would feel like pressed against mine. What your lips would feel like. How you would taste.”
I swallowed, the heat already gathering between my legs again.
“It did not disappoint, Bellamy.” He stepped back, giving me some space as I leaned against the tree, body spent.
“No, it did not,” I signed. “You certainly have a way with your... shadows.”
He laughed, and I wished I could see his face in this moment. See if his lips were swollen like mine. If his cheeks were flushed, his hair mussed. I saw glimpses of him through his shadows, but I desperately wanted to see all of him.
“What is going on in that mind of yours?” he asked, reaching out to brush a thumb over my cheek.
“Nothing,” I signed. “Just thinking about what we just did.”
“Ready for more?” His voice dipped low. “Because I could spend all night touching you, making you come over and over until you can barely stand.”
I reached out to pull him to me and see just how much he meant that, but he frowned, making me pause.
“The purple smudges are back. Under your eyes.” He swore. “I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve known this would be too much.”
“No.” I tried to protest, but he gathered me up in his arms and lifted into the sky.
“You need rest. Believe me, if you’ll let me, I plan on doing that many, many more times. But for now, I want you to sleep.”
The thought of him doing that—and more—again stirred the heat between my legs. Despite what my mind wanted, my body curled into him, eyes fluttering. Exhaustion crept over me. He was right. I’d been going on adrenaline for hours, and now I felt like I might crash. I could barely lift my head to look up at the sky as we flew back toward my balcony.
Kairoth lowered down onto it, then strode through my open doors and into my room, laying me gently on the bed.
“Goodnight, Bellamy,” he whispered, but I caught his arm.
He froze, looking down at my hand that gripped him. I released him and signed, “Stay with me?”
“Yes,” he said, and that was all it took.
I scooted over to make room for him, then I lay down, his big body settling behind mine. I cuddled into him and immediately fell asleep.