Chapter 20 #2
“Yes.” I frowned as I moved closer to the rock, wondering what part of my answer had left room for doubt. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Tavian gave one shoulder a small shrug and looked away again. The movement seemed wrong on someone who usually occupied whatever space he wanted without ever looking apologetic about it.
“Tavian.” I said his name more quietly and waited until his amber eyes returned to mine.
“Malek is easy to trust.” Tavian exhaled slowly and turned his gaze toward the waterfall again, resting both forearms across his raised knee.
“That sounded dangerously close to a compliment.” I sat on the neighboring section of stone, close enough that the toes of our boots nearly touched, letting a little humor into my voice without trying to turn the conversation into a joke.
“He is.” Tavian ignored the teasing, his thumb worrying at the edge of the leaf as he continued. “If he tells you he’ll do something, you know he’ll do it. If something goes wrong, he’s the person you want there.”
I stayed quiet and let Tavian take his time. His fingers never stopped moving even though the rest of him had gone almost completely still.
“And Luca makes things feel…” Tavian paused, his forehead creasing while he searched for the word he wanted. He eventually gave up with a frustrated movement of one hand. “Better, I guess. Food shows up. Things get fixed. He notices what people need.”
“And you?” I asked Tavian gently, already beginning to understand why my casual promise of another day had mattered so much.
“I make people laugh.” Tavian gave me a brief smile, but there was no amusement behind it.
“You do.” I told Tavian honestly, leaning one forearm against my thigh while I watched him.
“That’s kind of the problem.” Tavian rubbed both palms together once before resting them against his knees, his gaze dropping again.
The uncertainty in his voice bothered me more than I expected.
This was Tavian—the man who had spent the morning trying to steal my camera bag, handing me useless objects, arguing with an iguana, and defending the honor of his absurdly loud purr—and suddenly he couldn’t seem to decide what to do with his hands.
“I know I’m a lot.” Tavian finally looked at me, and for once there was no teasing anywhere in his face. “I talk too much. I can’t sit still. I get bored. I tease people when I probably shouldn’t. Half the time I do something and figure out whether it was a terrible idea afterward.”
“That last one is definitely true.” I let a little humor into my voice as I nudged the toe of his boot with mine, enough to show Tavian I wasn’t dismissing the rest just because one part was extremely accurate.
His mouth twitched, but he fell quiet again, rubbing his thumb slowly across one palm.
“But?” I prompted Tavian gently when he showed no sign of continuing on his own.
“Being fun is great when somebody wants a good day.” Tavian looked down at his hands as he spoke.
“A trip. Someone to make them laugh. But when people start thinking about who they actually want around every day…” He paused before releasing a slow breath.
“They usually want somebody they can depend on. Somebody who feels like home.”
Something tightened beneath my ribs. I moved from my section of rock to his and reached for his hand, threading our fingers together before he found something else to tear apart.
“You don’t have to fix it.” Tavian looked toward me quickly, tension crossing his face when my fingers closed around his. “I know you said you wanted all three of us to court you. I heard you. I’m not saying you didn’t mean it.”
“I know.” I squeezed Tavian’s hand and shifted until our shoulders nearly touched, keeping hold of him when his thumb started moving against mine.
“I just…” Tavian blew out a breath and looked toward the water again. “Sometimes I wonder if you’ll like me the whole time you’re here and still leave thinking I was the one you had fun with.”
“I am not ranking the three of you.” I reached for Tavian’s other hand and turned toward him until our knees touched, making it harder for him to stare at the waterfall instead of me.
“I know.” Tavian answered automatically, his fingers flexing against mine while uncertainty remained in his face.
“No, you know that because I’ve told you.” I squeezed his hands and waited until he looked at me properly. “I need you to actually believe it.”
Tavian held my gaze without trying to joke his way out of the conversation.
“Malek being dependable doesn’t make you less important, and Luca making a place comfortable doesn’t make you less important.
” I glanced toward the bulging pocket of my field shirt before looking back at Tavian.
“You make me laugh when I’m tired. You find places I never would have found by myself.
You notice things you think I’ll like and bring them to me even when they’re completely useless.
None of that makes you temporary, Tavian. ”
“You kept them.” Tavian glanced toward the pocket holding the strange collection he had built throughout the morning, and some of the tension finally left his face.
“Every ridiculous one.” I told Tavian as I brushed my thumb across his knuckles, thinking about the seed, pebble, curled pod, bright red leaf, and the shell he had added to my camera bag less than an hour ago.
“I noticed.” Tavian admitted, his thumb moving slowly over mine.
“Of course you did.” I shifted closer until our thighs touched against the stone. “And I don’t want you trying to become quieter or more serious because you think that’s the kind of man I’d keep. I like the man sitting here.”
Tavian studied me for several seconds without answering, and I could almost see him trying to decide how much of that reassurance he was willing to trust.
“Even the loud purr.” I added because apparently I was incapable of leaving the moment completely alone.
“You ruined it.” Tavian’s face twisted into immediate offense, and the sudden return of something familiar pulled a laugh out of me.
“I was being sincere.” I told Tavian as I tightened my fingers around his hands, still laughing at the betrayal written across his face.
“You insulted my purr….again.” Tavian accused me, pointing at himself with our joined hands even as the purr in question started rumbling beneath his chest.
“I said I liked it.” I reminded Tavian, leaning closer when his mouth started twitching.
“That part can stay.” Tavian decided, his wounded expression giving way as I laughed again.
Before I could answer, Tavian caught the back of my neck and kissed me.
There was humor in it at first, his mouth curving against mine when I laughed, but the kiss changed quickly.
Tavian pulled me closer until I shifted onto his lap, my knees settling on either side of his hips while his arms wrapped firmly around my waist. His purr vibrated through both of us, no longer something I only heard but something I could feel everywhere our bodies touched.
“You do like it.” Tavian murmured when we broke apart enough to breathe, resting his forehead against mine while one hand spread warmly across my lower back.
“I like you.” I told Tavian, keeping my fingers tangled in his hair while I held his gaze.
Whatever joke he might have made disappeared before it reached his mouth.
Tavian’s arms tightened around me, and when he kissed me again, the hesitation from a moment earlier was gone.
His mouth moved along my jaw and down my neck while I threaded my fingers through his hair.
He nuzzled beneath my ear, breathing in against my gland before pressing a lingering kiss there, and warmth spread through me almost immediately.
“There.” Tavian murmured against my skin, a low, satisfied growl vibrating through his chest as my scent changed around him. “That.”
“What?” I asked Tavian, my fingers tightening at the back of his neck when his mouth remained near the sensitive gland beneath my jaw.
“Your scent when you want me.” Tavian breathed against my gland, unmistakably pleased by the sweetness gathering beneath my blockers.
“You already knew I wanted you.” I reminded Tavian as heat moved lower through me, my knees tightening instinctively against his sides while his hands settled more firmly around my waist.
“I like reminders.” Tavian murmured before kissing the sensitive skin again, his purr deepening when another shiver moved through me.
I tipped my head farther and gave him more room.
His hands slipped beneath my shirt, warm palms moving over my waist, lower back, and sides while his mouth stayed at my throat.
The playful argument about his purr disappeared from my thoughts as his fingers found bare skin and his mouth continued working along the side of my neck.
When Tavian finally stood with me still wrapped around him, I made a surprised sound and locked my arms around his shoulders, instinctively tightening my legs when my feet left the ground.
“Show-off.” I muttered against Tavian’s neck as he carried me away from the more exposed edge of the pool, his grip secure beneath my thighs.
“You’re impressed.” Tavian teased as he adjusted his hold, his purr making the words vibrate faintly against my cheek while he headed toward a more sheltered section of the bank.
“I didn’t say that.” I reminded Tavian, although keeping both legs locked comfortably around his waist weakened the denial.