Chapter 4
Iwas sitting in my brother’s car, twisting my thumb ring, as he drove us to the SSI office. He thought I’d be less nervous telling someone outside the family about what happened, but I was actually more so. Jamie might not be family, but I’d known him most of my life and he’d been like a second brother growing up, much to my disappointment. Because of the whole I had a crush on him issue. Knowing Chris had filled him in last night, didn’t make it any easier, but it did make me question why I had to embarrass myself by talking to him. When I asked, Chris said there were questions he couldn’t answer, plus Jamie had some information for us.
WillJamie think I’m weak and stupid for staying with Craig for so long? Not that I could blame him, I thought it too. I never should have moved in with Craig, but I thought it’d make him happy, less jealous, if I did. I was wrong. So very wrong. He got worse. Not only did he act more jealous after I moved in, but he became controlling and eventually ended up hitting me. I should have known better, it’s not like there aren’t thousands of stories out there about this exact situation. All the signs were there, but I thought it’d be different for me. How could I be so blind, so stupid?
Overcome with nerves, I blurted out, “We should go home.”
Chris turned towards me for a moment, then back to the road, but didn’t say anything.
“I’m sure we’ll just be wasting his time. I mean, you told him everything last night and I got the restraining order so Craig can’t come within fifty feet of me so it’s not like I need protection.” I was wound up and rushed the words out. There was a pit in the bottom of my stomach, and I wanted to go anywhere except the SSI office.
“Emily, you know Jamie wouldn’t have asked us to come to the office if he thought it was a waste of his time.”
Instead of answering, I stared at the houses as we drove by, wondering if anyone inside was suffering behind the closed doors, like I had.
When I didn’t respond, he continued, “Look Em, I know your embarrassed, but you shouldn’t be. None of this is your fault.”
“I just, I feel so stupid. I should have seen the signs.”
“You’re not stupid for wanting to see the good in people, or for placing your trust in the wrong man.”
I wished I could believe him.
We drove the last few minutes in silence. I wasn’t any less nervous by the time we parked; my heart was racing as I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. I was dreading this meeting with Jamie. It’d been hard finding the courage to tell my brother and parents, and ask them for help, and I didn’t think I had enough left over to talk to Jamie.
Chris put the car in park and turned to me. “I know you’re a little freaked out,” he put his hands over mine to comfort me, “but Jamie’s a good guy, and he wants to help. He just needs to ask you a few questions so he can help me help you. I’ll be with you the entire time, unless you don’t want me to be. Okay?”
“Okay.” I answered automatically. This situation was anything but okay.
Chris opened the glass door to the Sheppard Sons Investigations office and ushered me in ahead of him. I think he was worried I might run away if he went in first. I’m not going to lie; the thought had crossed my mind.
My mouth hung open as I looked around, my embarrassment temporarily forgotten. I didn’t know what I’d expected exactly, maybe a dark dingy office with stacks of paper everywhere, but the SSI office was nothing like that. The reception area was open and brightly lit, the walls were a warm cream color with navy blue accents. Throw rugs decorated the hardwood floor, and a plush leather couch and chairs filled the waiting area. There was a second story above half the office, and the reception area had a vaulted ceiling with skylights. The space was littered with plants of all shapes and sizes, I couldn’t tell if they were fake or real, but it didn’t matter, they gave the space a warm, welcoming atmosphere.
Chris urged me towards the receptionist, a woman about my age who was talking to the man leaning against her desk. I couldn’t see his face, but something about him felt familiar.
Then he turned around. Jack. I quickly inspected my shoes hoping to hide my face, and bruises.
Chris squeezed my hand and whispered, “You’re going to be fine.” He knew Jack and I had gone on a few dates in high school, and probably guessed (correctly) that my anxiety had just shot through the roof. I knew Jack worked at SSI, so I’m not sure why I was surprised to see him, but I was. And I was mortified he’d see me like this. I’d tried to hide the last of my fading bruises but was sure I’d probably wiped away my makeup along with my tears on the drive here.
I lifted my head when I heard the woman’s chair slide back as she stood up. “Hi, you must be Emily and Chris. I’m Meg, you know Jack.”
Jack stood to his full height as he stepped around the desk to greet us. Damn, was he always that tall? Or maybe he seemed taller because Meg was at least half a foot shorter.
“Hey Chris.” He reached forward and shook Chris’s hand, then turned to me. “Hi Emily.” He stepped closer and asked, “Permission to give an old friend a hug?”
I nodded and blinked back the tears that were threatening to overflow. Again.
“It’s good to see you again.” Jack said so only I heard it. I knew he could see the bruises on my face and wrists. I should have worn a long sleeve. But it was June, and it had seemed pointless to hide them, since I was coming here to talk about Craig hitting me, but I regretted that decision now. At least they aren’t dark angry purple anymore.
“Thanks.” I said after he released me.
“I’ll let Jamie know you’re here.”
“Thanks, Jack.” Chris answered for us. I was still reeling from seeing Jack but had to give him credit for not reacting to my bruises. He’d clearly noticed them, I saw his jaw clench and his eyes narrow briefly, but otherwise there was no outward sign. Which I appreciated, that and he hadn’t asked me how I was doing, because clearly, I wasn’t doing very well.
Meg, on the other hand, hadn’t hid her reaction as well, but at least it was empathy and not pity I saw reflected in her eyes. I could handle empathy.
“Can I get you a coffee or a water while you wait?” Meg asked as she stepped around the desk and walked towards a counter with a coffee maker on top and a cooler with water and soda below.
“A water’d be great, thanks.” Chris answered. Good lord, I wouldn’t have thought I’d ever be happy to have my big brother speak for me, but today I was beyond grateful as I seemed to have lost my ability to speak for myself. I’d have to remember to thank him for being the best big brother a girl could ask for. I should probably apologize for being a total pain in the ass little sister when we were kids while I’m at it. The thought made me smile, I couldn’t help it, I loved my big brother.
I looked up briefly when Meg handed me a bottle of cold water. “Thank you.” I finally found my voice, as shaky as it was. She probably thinks I’m an idiot. I put my water down on the counter so I could wipe my eyes.
She gave me a soft smile and told me to let her know if I needed anything else, then added so only I could hear, “It’s never easy coming here to ask for help, but you’re in good hands. I know because they helped me.”
That caught me off guard, she looked so strong, so collected. I wonder what made her come to SSI for help.
I didn’t have time to think about it, or even sit down, because Jamie came out of his office, talking quietly with Jack as they walked towards us. Jamie’s hazel eyes radiated concern as he held my gaze. He didn’t look much different than the last time I’d seen him. At least not physically. The last time I’d seen him was Isabelle’s funeral, when he’d had lost, haunted look in his eyes.
“Chris, glad you could make it.” Jamie greeted Chris with a handshake and a quick man-hug. “Emily, it’s good to see you too, though I wish the circumstances were different.”
“Me too.” My voice squeaked.
“Would you like a tour of the new office?” Jamie asked me, since he’d given Chris a tour during the grand opening.
I nodded and squeaked out, “Yeah, sure.”
Jamie named the offices we could already see, creating a semi-circle around the reception area, then took us down the hall, where there was a small, but full, kitchen and two bathrooms.
“It’s a lot bigger than our old place. And while I didn’t hate sharing an office with my dad, I love having my own. Jack likes his too, though sometimes I think he misses AJ.” Jamie laughed, then added, “They shared an office in the old building, but now that Jack is a fully vested partner, and we have the space, he has his own office. AJ spends more time in there than the office he shares with Doug, our only other full-time private investigator.”
He pointed out two other offices, available for future new hires, and one that the part-time security personnel shared. Jamie explained that the FBI rewarded SSI with a hefty sum of money for taking down Sullivan, a Boston mob boss on their most wanted list, which helped them fund the new building. He told us they”d be adding a training building in the future, complete with indoor and outdoor shooting ranges.
I looked around in awe at the open space while we walked up the open stairway. There were two small meeting rooms, a large conference room, and an open classroom for training on the second floor. “It looks great.” And I meant it, their office was truly impressive.
“Thanks, Meg and Ma helped us design the space, so it’s functional and welcoming.”
“It shows.” Chris laughed. “There’s just a hint of feminine without being obvious.”
“Yeah, I doubt any of us would have thought to have plants or a comfy couch in the reception area.” Jamie added as we walked back downstairs.
“Let’s head to my office.” He held out his arm to point the way. Jack smiled softly and nodded his support when I made eye contact with him on the way to Jamie’s office.
Once in his office, Jamie sat in one of the guest chairs near us rather than behind his desk, making it feel less like an interview and more like old friends catching up. And at first that’s what it was. He asked me about my job, my hobbies, and what I did for fun. Then he told me a little about starting SSI with his dad and brother, and how great it was working with his family. I assumed he did it to help me feel less nervous, and it worked.
Right up until he asked, “Do you think you’re ready to talk about Craig and what happened?” My heart beat a little faster as I averted my eyes and twisted my thumb ring.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready yet, we can just chat some more.” His tone stayed calm, conversational. He’s really good at this.
I paused for a second before nodding. “I think I’m ready.” And much to my surprise, I meant it. I didn’t know if it was because of his calm voice, how relaxed he seemed, or him taking time to talk to me before he started asking his questions. It’s probably a combination of all three. It didn’t matter, I felt a little less nervous answering his questions about the embarrassing circumstances that landed me back in Weatherford, and in his office.
“Will it be okay if I take a few notes while you talk?” When I nodded, he got up and walked to his desk. “Would you like for one of our guys to check your phone for a location tracker while you’re here?” He asked as he grabbed his laptop.
I stared at him with wide-eyes and my mouth hanging open. He thinks Craig put a tracker on my phone. I shook my head and started to say no, and tell him Craig wouldn’t have done that, but Chris cut me off.
“Em, I think it’d be a good idea. It’s the kind of thing guys like Craig do.”
I didn’t want to believe it but figured it couldn’t hurt to check. I grabbed my phone from my purse and handed it to Jamie.
“This won’t take long.” He took my phone and walked to the door. I heard him call Meg over before he stepped out and pulled the door mostly closed. I could only assume he was asking Meg to have one of the other guys check it. Oh man, I hope it’s not Jack, this is embarrassing enough as it is without Jack getting a glimpse at how sad and pathetic my life has become.
“Doug will have your phone back in no time, he won’t even have to unlock it.” I sighed in relief; it was like he was reading my mind.
I waited for him to sit back down before asking, “So what do you need to know? I mean, Chris already told you what happened.” Damn, that sounded a lot ruder than I’d intended. I was frustrated and nervous, but none of that was Jamie’s fault. And while I thought it seemed unnecessary to tell him what Chris had already told him, it wasn’t an excuse to be rude, so I apologized.
“Accepted. Chris gave me the short version of what happened the night you left but I need to know the full story of what transpired that night, and any other time he hit or threatened you. It may seem like overkill, but no incident is too small. The details will help me evaluate what kind of threat he is-could be.” Jamie quickly corrected himself, but I didn’t miss it. Hethinks Craig is a threat. Tears welled up in my eyes.
“Where should I start?” I hated that my voice was still shaking. I wanted a drink but realized I”d left my water in the lobby.
“Let’s start with what happened the night you left.”
With a shaky voice I said, “Craig came home from work drunk and got mad at me because I didn’t have dinner waiting for him.” I paused, then added, “I’d gotten caught up in a work project. I usually work from home and sometimes I lose track of time.” I knew that made me sound irresponsible, at least that’s what Craig always said, so I was surprised when Jamie chuckled.
“I do that a lot when I work from home. Sometimes I forget to eat.”
“Craig hated that I could work from home. He called me lazy because I didn”t have a typical nine-to-five office job.” I hadn’t meant to say that out loud and immediately regretted it when I saw the look on Jamie and Chris’s faces. Craig was a used car salesman. He didn”t work nine-to-five either but he did have to go into the office every day.
“Did he say shit like that a lot?” It was Chris who asked, but Jamie was clearly waiting for my answer.
“He always said he was just joking and would tell me I was over-reacting if I got upset.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I thought back to all the times Craig had made me cry, then called me stupid for crying. I really should have seen the red flags sooner, maybe I’m as dumb as he says I am.
Chris reached over and took my hand. “Emily, none of this is your fault.”
“I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid Emily. Guys like Craig are master manipulators who know how to prey on women’s insecurities. We see it far more often than I care to admit.” Jamie got up and grabbed a box of tissues and a bottle of water off his desk. He put the tissues on the glass table beside me, then opened the bottle of water before setting it next to them. I couldn’t help but notice how casually he provided support, acting like he wasn’t doing anything special.
But he was.
“Thanks.” I took a tissue and dabbed under my eyes a little too roughly, causing me to wince. My bruises had faded but were still sensitive if I touched or rubbed them too hard. At least the cut on my lip had healed enough that it no longer attracted attention.
“What happened after he got home?”
I told Jamie I’d stopped working to make him dinner while he sat on the couch and drank beer. He’d started mumbling, loud enough for me to hear, about how I should manage my time better, that dinner should be waiting for him when he got home, and about how useless I was. I apologized, and focused on making dinner but he lost it when I said I didn’t have time to make meatballs. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, meatballs.
The absurdity of it caused me to choked out a laugh, “I got beat up over meatballs.”
Neither of them laughed. It wasn’t funny, not in the least, but it just sounded so damned pathetic.
I tried to keep my voice from shaking while I told them the rest of the ugly details. It wasn’t easy, my body shook as I remembered how scared I felt knowing he’d probably end up hitting me. And how terrified I was he wouldn’t stop once he started. It wasn’t helping that I could see the anger in Chris’s tense body and hear his occasional muffled exclamation.
I didn’t even look at Jamie, I couldn’t.
“I kept apologizing and promised I’d make him his favorite meal the next night. He huffed and said ‘Whatever’ before grabbing another beer and going back to the living room. He put on his favorite show and left me alone. I was grateful he wasn’t yelling at me anymore, and hoped he’d calm down while I finished making dinner.”