Chapter 13
Soon after emailing Meg about my trip to Dallas to visit Ashley, I got a text from Jamie asking me if I had a minute to talk. He asked for a few more details, then offered to drive me there and back, saying it made sense to take one car instead of two.
It made perfect sense, but I didn’t think I could sit in a car alone with him for ninety minutes.
Thankfully, Jamie didn’t push back when I said I wanted to drive. Though I felt bad because he’d follow me there, wait alone outside, then follow me home. Should I tell Ashley I can’t stay late so Jamie doesn’t have to sit in the parking lot too long? No, I shouldn’t, it was part of the job.
The other reason I didn’t want a ride was a matter of independence. Craig would offer to drive me places, sometimes insisting, then he’d sit outside fuming that I was wasting his time. No matter how quickly I returned, he’d complain that I took too long. So, the idea of Jamie driving me and waiting outside, was more than I wanted to deal with right now.
I knew it wasn’t the same, but that didn’t mean I could stop myself from thinking about it. Chris was paying Jamie to keep me safe; it was literally his job to sit outside and wait. Safe from the very man the situation was reminding me of. It’s not fair to compare them. He’s nothing like Craig.
When I asked Jamie if he remembered Ashley, he said yes. And I knew she’d remember him, she’d always thought Jamie was ‘super-hot’ and had no problem saying so. It might have been an issue for us having the hots for the same guy, but Jamie was so in love with Isabelle that we didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in Texas of ever going out with him, and we knew it.
I fought the urge to wave to Jamie as I walked to my car. It was weird ignoring him, but I didn’t want to get in trouble, so I did as I was told.
Jamie called me a few minutes before we got to Ashley’s and asked me to stay in my car after I parked until he gave me the all clear. It seemed like overkill to me. There was no way Craig could know about my plans, so there was no reason to think he’d be waiting for me.
I tapped my hands on the steering wheel while I waited for him to finish. A few seconds after Jamie parked in the guest spot next to me, my phone lit up with a text alert.
Have fun tonight. I’ll be right here if you need anything.
Thanks.
As I waited for Ashley to buzz me in, I started to feel bad about Jamie having to wait for me. But that triggered more memories of Craig, and I didn’t want to think about him.
Anytime I went somewhere without him he’d accuse me of cheating on him or keeping secrets if I left out one tiny unimportant detail during his interrogation. I couldn’t even go on a run without him telling me I looked like a slut, whatever that meant. He was the reason I hadn’t seen Ashley in so long.
Well, fuck him. I’m having guilt- free fun tonight.
Choosing to forget about Craig, and Jamie, my anger turned to excitement as I saw Ashley get off the elevator. It had been far too long since I’d seen her. Fucking Craig. I’d let him control too much of my life. I squared my shoulders. Not anymore! Wanting, needing, to vent with a friend, I couldn’t wait to get this night started. Ashley would make me laugh as we thought of creative ways to curse Craig.
Ashley opened the door and immediately pulled me into a tight hug as she said, “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve missed you so much!”
“I missed you too.” Dammit, I said I wouldn’t get all weepy, but here I was tearing up before we even finished saying hi. I blinked away the tears before they could fall free from my eyes. Tonight was for reconnecting with my best friend, cursing asshole exes, and having fun. I’d brought two bottles of wine to make sure that happened. I didn’t think we’d drink them both, since I’m not usually a big drinker, but I figured I’d leave whatever we didn’t finish here.
“You look great.” I said after we broke the hug. Her dark brown hair was in a ponytail, and she didn’t have any makeup on. She didn’t need it, she was naturally beautiful. And judging by how fit she looked, she clearly still worked out. We used to run together in high school and college, but that was pre-Craig. I had to stop running because of Craig, so I did yoga and body weight exercises at home instead. I had to do something, he’d complain if I gained any weight, even though he wouldn’t let me run or go to the gym.
Then it dawned on me. “I can run again.”
“What?”
I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but apparently, in my excitement I had. “Nothing, just thinking out loud.”
Ashley’s two-bedroom third-floor apartment was spacious. The living space and small galley kitchen had gorgeous hardwood floors. Unusual for an apartment. I told her my apartment in Houston hadn’t been half this nice, but at least I had a decent sized kitchen. Though I wouldn’t mind having a small kitchen in my next place, because it’d be all mine.
“Oh, I don’t care about the kitchen, I eat out more than I cook so it’s fine.”
“Some things never change.” We laughed as I put the bottles of wine on the counter. She grabbed two stemless wine glasses.
“It’s good to see you. I’m glad you finally left Craig. It’s no secret I never liked that asshat, too fucking controlling.”
“Thanks. It feels good to be free.” I’d told Ashley on the phone I’d left him, but hadn’t filled her in on all the ugly details. That wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have over the phone.
“How bad did it get?”
“Bad. Let’s open one of these bottles, order some food, and catch up on the good stuff before we go there.”
“Sounds good.” She gave me a quick side hug, expressing her understanding and sympathy without words. “You want Chinese or pizza?”
“Chinese.”
Ashley ordered us enough food to feed a small army. When I asked why she ordered so much, she said she always ordered extra so she had leftovers. I couldn’t argue with that, leftovers had been a staple in college. Sometimes eaten cold.
Craig hated leftovers, said I was just being lazy if I served them. Forget about him!
We opened the red blend first and put the white in the fridge to chill. Ashley poured two very generous glasses before we plopped down on the couch and started talking.
Ashley shared a few of her dating adventures. She was currently a serial dater, claiming she wasn’t ready to settle down. I envied her strength and carefree lifestyle. Ashley would never let a man hit her. I didn’t think I could be quite as carefree, or be as adventurous, as Ashley. But it might be fun to try.
Ashley suggested we got to a nightclub to celebrate my new freedom and maybe hook up with some hot guys. When I told her I wasn’t quite ready yet, she chuckled and said she’d make it her life’s mission to take me out.
“Maybe we start with something a little less crazy in a few weeks.” I wanted to wait until things with Craig had settled down a bit and I no longer needed protection. I still haven’t told Ashley.
After our food arrived, we sat on the floor and ate at the coffee table. White cardboard containers full of tasty Chinese food covered half the surface. I thought the egg rolls and crab rangoon were average, and the General Tso Chicken was too spicy, but the Cashew Chicken and pork fried rice were perfect. Fried rice was a staple any time I ordered Chinese. At least it was when I wasn’t with Craig, he always reminded that rice would make me fat.
Stopthinking about him.
Before long, we’d finished the red wine and opened the white. Ashely and I agreed it went really well with the fortune cookies. But that might’ve been the wine speaking since we didn’t actually know anything about pairing wine with food.
After we cleaned up and put the leftovers in the fridge, we refilled our wine glasses and sat back down on the couch.
“Okay Em, spill it. What made you finally leave Craig?” Ashley sat on the far end of the couch, and turned so she was facing me, her legs crossed Indian style.
I studied my wine to buy myself a second before lifting my head and looking into her chocolate brown eyes. “He hit me.” My voice was barely above a whisper.
“Oh Em.” She reached out for my free hand and squeezed it. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“I am. He got arrested; a neighbor called the police.” I pulled my hand away and cradled my wine in both hands, hoping to find some courage in my glass. “It wasn’t the first time the neighbors called the police, or the first time he hit me. But it was the first time I pressed charges.”
“I’m so sorry, I knew he was controlling, but I didn’t think he’d hit you. Is he still in jail?”
“No, he made bail. Chris is worried he might come after me for revenge.”
“Fuck. Is there somewhere safe you can go?”
“I’m staying with my mom and dad until I figure out if I want to stay in Weatherford.” I gulped my wine. How is this my life? I figured now was as good a time as any to bring up my shadow. “Do you remember Jamie Sheppard?”
“Oh yeah,” she nodded, a grin on her face, “he was so hot! What about him? You got a thing for him?” Ashley had a wicked gleam in her eyes like she was waiting on some juicy tidbit of gossip.
“What? No. Nothing like that. He and his father started a personal protection and investigation company shortly after Isabelle was killed.”
“That’s right. Didn’t he see it happen?”
“No, but he was the first officer on the scene. It almost destroyed him.” I took a deep breath and got back on topic. “Chris hired his company, and Jamie is one of the guys watching out for me in case Craig comes after me.”
“Oh really? Is he still hot? God, we had the biggest crush on him, remember that? Is he still single? Any chance you can set me up with him?”
I laughed at her rapid-fire questions. I knew she’d ask if he was single.
“You’re blushing.” Am I? She sounded like a teenager again, reminding me of junior high when we would tease each other for thinking boys were cute. “You like him!”
“It’s not like that. It’s just, I’m grateful he’s helping me, that’s all.”
She squinted her eyes at me. “You didn’t answer my question, is he still hot?”
I rolled my eyes at her persistence. “Yes, he’s still hot, more ruggedly handsome than he was in school. And he’s definitely stayed in good shape.” I thought about how strong he felt when he’d wrapped his arms around me to steady me at the apartment.
“Hmmm, sounds to me like maybe you’re more than just grateful.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. She was only half-serious, and trying to lighten the mood, but I rushed to defend myself anyway.
“Don’t be stupid, I just got out of a nasty relationship.” I tried to brush her off. “I don’t have it in me to have feelings for anyone.”
“You have that look on your face.” I’d forgotten how well Ashley could read me.
“I don’t. Besides, he’s Chris’s best friend, so I couldn’t even if I wanted to. That, and I’m just the pesky little sister from high school, and a client, to him. He’d never go for someone like me.”
Shit, I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. I knew she’d twist my words and think I wanted him to like me, but it would never happen. Besides, I didn’t really like him in that way. I’d never deny that he was easy on the eyes, or that he was caring and sweet. But I don’t like him like that. I think of him more as the protective, big brotherly type, not the boyfriend type, right? So why am I working so hard to convince myself?
“I repeat: Hmmm.” Ashley took a sip of wine and wiggled her eyebrows above the rim. I couldn’t help but laugh at her.
“Is there someone outside now?” She asked as she got up and went to the window.
“Yes, Jamie. You can’t see him from here.”
“Bummer. I was going to check out just how in shape he still is.” She sat back down. “Seriously though, are you doing okay with all of this? You seem calm, but I’m worried about you. What if asshat comes looking for you?”
“The guys from SSI,” she raised her eyebrows in question and I realized I hadn’t told her the name of their company. “Sheppard Sons Investigations will stop him. Besides, I have a restraining order against him. He knows if he comes within fifty feet of me, he’ll go back to jail.”
“A restraining order is just a piece of paper, Em. People violate them all the time. A co-worker’s ex-girlfriend violated the one he placed against her—she hit him with a hammer.”
My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped.
“He’s okay. But my point is, it can’t stop him.” Ashley put one concern to rest.
“Jamie said the same thing.” I paused to collect my thoughts before continuing. “Craig actually showed up at the apartment while we were packing the rest of my things. Jack and Jamie stopped him from hurting me.”
“Jesus. What a stupid ass.”
“Agreed.” I held my glass up, and we clinked. “I just wish I’d seen it sooner.”
“None of this is your fault, Em. Please don’t blame yourself for seeing only the good in people.”
“Thanks.” Chris said the same thing.
“Do you have someone with you twenty-four-seven?”
“Yeah, but they’re not with me so much as shadowing me. Jamie said their goal is to see, and stop, Craig before he gets to me.”
“Hey, didn’t you date Jamie’s brother, Jack?”
I laughed and nodded. “Yeah. We went on a few dates, but we didn’t click.”
“He was hot too.” I could see Ashley’s thoughts. “Do you know if he’s still single?”
“He’s not. He works at SSI, so does his fiancé. Well, technically, he’s part owner.”
“Wow. That’s cool.” She stood up and held out her hand for my wineglass. “I’ll pour us some more wine, then we’ll gossip about everyone from high school.”
“I’d rather hear about your adventures!” I yelled at her as she walked to the kitchen.
I checked my phone out of habit. Craig would get pissed if I didn’t reply to his texts fast enough. Then shook my head to clear it. He won’t text me. My heart just about stopped when I saw a text alert pop up.
He wouldn’t be dumb enough to text me. Would he?
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the text was from Jamie. He wanted to check that everything was going okay, and ask if I knew what time I’d be leaving.
I texted back that I could leave now if he wanted to go home. Dammit, Craig had trained me too well. Then I got mad at myself for being so spineless. Jamie was getting paid to be here, so I could stay as long as I wanted.
Shame replaced my anger when I read his almost instant reply. “Nah, stay as long as you like. I was just curious. Have fun. Text me when you’re ready to leave.”
I’d totally over-reacted. Of course, Jamie was nothing like Craig. I sent a quick text to say thanks, hoping to put my phone away before Ashley saw it.
“What’s that look for? Who are you texting?” She handed me my wineglass.
“Nothing. No one. Jamie was just checking in.”
Ashley and I opened, and finished, a third bottle of wine as we gossiped. It felt so good to relax without having to worry about getting yelled at when I got home. Though I should text my parents and let them know I was still here and everything was fine, so they didn’t worry. I sent my mom a quick text, knowing she’d tell my dad.
She replied a few minutes later. “We know.”
What the fuck? I’d expected her to say thanks or, I don’t know, something, but not: we know. How’d she know? I typed as fast as I could, wanting to be done with this conversation before Ashley came back from the bathroom.
When I asked, How? Mom responded with, Chris he told us.
I should have known Chris would call Jamie and check up on me. He should have called me, not Jamie, if he was worried. I was probably over-reacting, but I was sick and tired of guys not trusting me and checking up on me and telling me what to do.
Maybe it was the wine going to my head. Or maybe it was because I was more sensitive lately, crying over the littlest things, getting angry over the stupidest things, then crying about the fact that I was mad for no real reason. God,I’m a mess.
I was thinking about what I wanted to say to Chris to convey my irritation when Ashley interrupted my thoughts.
“Who pissed in your boots?” Ashley asked a second before I felt the couch move as she plopped down beside me. I was so focused on being mad at Chris I didn’t hear her come back in.
“Fucking Chris. He called Jamie and checked up on me.” I hadn’t intended to sound so angry, but couldn’t help it. “Can you believe this shit?” It’d been a long time since I’d had this much to drink and I could hear my words slurring.
“Okay, calm down. This is Chris you’re talking about, he probably wanted to check in without interrupting you.”
“Maybe, but I’m still pissed.”
“How’d you even find out? Did Jamie rat on him?” She was giggling.
“No, I didn’t want my mom and dad to worry, so I texted them to let them know I was still here. But they already knew because Chris had told them.”
“Em, it’s sweet how much he cares, and it was actually kind of nice of him to make sure your parents weren’t worried.”
“Maybe.” She had a point, but I still wanted to be angry. I’d never been an angry person, sure I’d get mad occasionally but I never stayed angry just for the sake of being angry. But right now, it felt good to be angry.
Must be all the pent up frustration from living with Craig and never being allowed to argue or have anything other than happy feelings around him.
Ashley refilled my glass as soon as it was empty. I’d passed tipsy a few glasses ago and probably should’ve said no. I usually stopped drinking at the first signs of being tipsy, knowing I’d get screamed at if I came home drunk. But Craig isn’t here and he can’t ever yell at me again. So I’m going to drink as much as I want. My inner voice sounded like a bratty twelve-year-old, and I suddenly had the urge to stick my tongue out at the voices in my head, which caused me to bust out laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
I tried to tell her but couldn’t without the image of me sticking my tongue out, thumbs in my ears and fingers wiggling, every time I tried. I’ve finally lost it.
“Come on Em, I want to laugh with you.” Ashley sounded as much like a twelve-year-old as I felt, which only made me laugh harder.
I finally caught my breath enough to answer. “Nothing, I was just thinking about how long it’s been since I could drink without getting yelled at for being drunk. And then-”
I started laughing again, I held up my hand to signal she should wait, “then I saw myself sticking my tongue out at the world because he can never yell at me again.”
“Not sure the first part is funny, but I’m down with the rest of it.” She raised her glass. “To getting drunk-I-mean-having-fun without getting yelled at and giving the world the middle finger.”
We clinked glasses and lost control, laughing until tears streamed down our faces. Every time we stopped laughing one of us would do or say something that’d set us off again. Then I started snorting, which made us laugh even harder. It was a vicious cycle. When we finally stopped, Ashley drained her glass, stood up and put her hands on her hips, looking very determined.
Oh shit, what’s she doing?
“Let’s go say hi to this sexy bodyguard of yours.”
“He’s not, I don’t think, it’s not-” I was too drunk to form a full sentence. I wasn’t supposed to acknowledge or draw attention to him unless I needed help. Which I most definitely did not.
I also didn’t want him to see me drunk.
“Oh, come on, it’s not like I’m a stranger. We’ll just say hi and ask him if he wants some Chinese food or maybe some wine.”
I hesitated, but she reached down and pulled me up. I gave up arguing as my drunk mind overruled what little logic I still possessed. We walked, or more accurately, stumbled, out the door, down the hall and into the elevator. We stumbled off the elevator, arm in arm, laughing. Jamie was halfway to the lobby door by the time we got there.
“Is everything okay?”
Shit, he sounded worried. “How’d he know we were coming out?”
I didn’t realize I’d asked out loud until he answered me. “I saw you get off the elevator and stumble towards the door. Are you okay?”
Fear had a sobering effect. I looked down at my feet, too embarrassed, too worried, to answer. He’s going to be mad at me.
“We’re good. Very, very good.” Ashley was practically drooling as she gave Jamie the once over. I looked up to see Jamie staring at me and blushed, knowing I must look like the drunken fool I was.
“We, um, Ashley-” I’m so embarrassed. He’s going to be mad, and he’d probably tell my brother. I’m in so much trouble.
“What’s she’s trying to say is, would you like to come up and have some Chinese food and wine?”
“Thanks, but I’m good. I’ll walk you back to your apartment, then come back down.” Jamie answered Ashley without taking his eyes off of me. “You shouldn’t be walking around in your condition.”
“Why? We’ve got you to protect us.” When Ashley put her hand on Jamie’s arm, he gently removed it. She wasn’t slurring, or tripping over her words, as much as I was, but she was definitely acting drunk. Ashley was a flirt in general, but she was a much bigger flirt when drunk.
This was a bad idea; we shouldn’t have come down. Jamie will be so angry with me. I wasn’t supposed to draw attention to the person shadowing me and here we were talking about it in the lobby.
“Aw come on, don’t be a party-pooper.” Ashley whined.
Jamie never took his eyes off me. Instead of answering Ashely, he asked, “How much have you had to drink, Emily?”
“I um, I’m not sure.” I couldn’t tell if he was upset or disappointed. Expecting to get yelled at, I mentally braced myself.
“A lot!” Ashley answered eagerly. “She’s finally free from Asshat Craig so let her have some fun.”
“Alright, let’s get you two upstairs.” I wasn’t sure, but I thought I detected humor in his voice. “Ashley, Emily is in no condition to drive, can she stay here tonight?”
“Hell yeah, BFF Sleepover.” Ashley raised her hands in the air like a cheerleader leading her squad.
I wanted to share in Ashley’s girlish joy at the thought of a sleepover, but I couldn’t let go of my worry that I’d be in trouble when Jamie told Chris. Jamie’s just being nice, and not yelling, because Ashley’s here. I’d hear about it tomorrow. From Jamie, and Chris. I just know he’ll tell Chris all about this.
“Emily, it’s okay that you’re having fun. We all,” he paused and grinned, “have fun from time to time,” he put have fun in air quotes. “But you can’t drive like this. Do you want me to text Chris so he and your parents don’t worry?”
Wait, what? Did he just ask me what I want?Was I wrong when I assumed he’d report me back to Chris? Would he tell them I’m staying without mentioning that I got drunk?
I needed to answer him.
“I’ll tell them.” Then I added as an afterthought. “Thanks.”
When we reached Ashley’s door, she asked, “You sure you don’t want to come in?” She was still flirting.
“If it’s okay, I’ll just use the bathroom, then leave you two to your sleepover.”
The minute Jamie was out of sight, I slapped at Ashley’s arm. “What the fuck Ash, you practically threw yourself at him.”
“Sorry.” She raised her eyebrows at me. “You said you didn’t like him, but you sound… a bit jealous. Tsk Tsk.” She wagged her finger at me like a scolding school marm.
“Shhhh.” I put my hand over her mouth and looked over her shoulder. Jamie was coming back.
“Alright, I’m going to leave you two to your fun.” He grinned. “I recommend drinking some water and maybe taking some aspirin before going to bed.”
God, he has a sexy grin. I bet he’s a good kisser.
Must be the alcohol talking, or Ashley’s influence. If I said it enough, I’d believe it. I mean, I can think a guy has a sexy grin without liking him. Right?
“You sure you don’t want to stay?”
“I can’t, I’m working.”
What the fuck, is he into Ashley? Why did it sound like he would’ve said yes if it weren’t for me? And why does it bother me?
“It was good seeing you again, Ash.”
“No one calls me Ash anymore.”
“Sorry, Ashley. Emily, call me if you need anything, okay? I’ll be right outside.”
“Are you really going to sleep in your SUV all night?” My voice sounded small and shaky, guilty.
My emotions were all over the place, and being drunk wasn’t helping me sort through them.
“I won’t be sleeping. But yeah, as long as you’re here, I’m here.”
I opened my mouth to apologize, but he cut me off. He must have known I was about to apologize because he took one of my hands.
“No apologies. It’s part of the job. Now go have fun with Ashley. You deserve a worry free night out.”
I wasn’t expecting that. I’d expected him to be mad, tell me to be more responsible, tattle on me to Chris, but he didn’t do any of those things. He said have fun.
Ashley didn’t wait for him to get out the door before saying, a bit too loudly, “He’s hot and sweet. I’d totally hit that.”
I saw Jamie shake his head and was glad I couldn’t see his expression. I was sure he’d lose his patience soon if she didn’t stop acting like a gushing school girl. At the elevator he turned around and waved, I could see him chuckling; relief flooded my system as most of the worry drained from my body.
“Remember to lock the door. Goodnight ladies.”
“Goodnight Jamie.” Ashley and I said in unison. We looked at each other and started laughing. I was laughing because I was so embarrassed at how we’d acted, and relieved that Jamie wasn’t mad, that I couldn’t do anything else. I didn’t know why Ashley was laughing so hard.
She locked the door and secured the door chain, then turned to look at me. “Let’s get into pjs and watch a chick flick while we eat cold Chinese and drink more wine.”
“Ew, cold Chinese does not sound good to me right now.”
We scrounged up some snacks instead, poured more wine, and plopped down on the couch to watch a rom com. A movie we both loved and pretty much knew by heart. We talked throughout the movie, quoting our favorite lines along the way.
We giggled, a lot, and I cried a little. We also finished our fourth bottle.
Despite taking Jamie’s advice and drinking water, we’d probably still have nasty hangovers in the morning.
Before going to bed, I called Jamie and put him on speakerphone. I was drunk enough to not care about the rules anymore.
Of course, his first question was, are you okay? I told him we were fine, to which Ashley and I both giggled. Ashley told Jamie she insisted he come up and sleep on the couch instead of in his truck.
“I won’t be sleeping.”
“You could if you’d stop being stubborn and just come up here.”
“Ashley, I can’t sleep because I’m working.”
We rolled our eyes at him.
“You can be Broody McBroodypants Bodyguard from the comfort of my apartment.”
I hiccupped. She giggled. We really shouldn’t have called him. I apologized and Ashley threatened to keep calling him until he gave in.
Jamie said he recognized a losing battle when he saw one and said, “You win. I give up, I’ll come up when you’re ready to go to bed.”
“We’re ready now, so come on up.”