Chapter 15
This had to be the worst hangover I’d ever had, but that wasn’t the reason I was being a grumpy bitch. That was because I was sick and tired of everyone telling me what to do.
Jamie took one look at me when I said I was ready to leave and insisted I wasn’t safe to drive home. He was probably right; my head was throbbing, and I got dizzy if I moved it too fast. But I argued anyway because I didn’t want him telling me what to do, even if I was kind of grateful he’d offered to drive me home.
I finally gave in, but made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Then I yelled at him on the way home. God why am I being such a bitch? After everything he’s done for me?
When he mentioned his fear about seeing me in get in a car accident, I felt like a total asshole.
Reaching over to touch his hand when I apologized felt like the right thing to do. But I lingered longer than I’d intended before pulling my hand away. That felt right too. I’m sure he didn’t notice.
We sat in silence for a few more minutes. I wanted to talk to him about going to the county fair for the Fourth of July festivities with Ashley, but wasn’t sure how to bring it up after being so bratty. I didn’t need his permission. But I’m supposed to notify SSI of my plans.
Ashley and I used to go every year when we were kids. First with our families when we were young, then with friends when we were old enough to go without our parents. It was a tradition we’d kept until I started dating Craig. He’d thought it was stupid, so I couldn’t go.
Ashley said she’d come home for the weekend so we could go together and act like silly teen-age girls again. But I was afraid to ask Jamie because I was being so bitchy. Then I reminded myself that I didn’t have to ask. I could make my own decisions. All I needed to do was tell him.
But what came out was a question.
“Ashley and I want to go to the county fair for the Fourth of July. Do you think it’ll be okay?” Damn it, I sounded weak and whiny. He’ll say no.
“Yeah, of course. We’ll have to assign two bodyguards for the day, but it’s totally doable.” He looked over and smiled.
My jaw hit the floor. Well, not literally, but it might as well have. That was too easy. I’d expected him to say it would be too dangerous or something like that. I should probably ask Chris since he’ll get billed for the extra person.
“Actually, Jack’s taking Meg since she’s never been and really wants to go. I was going to go with them. Would you have any objection to going with us? I think AJ’s going too, so you’d have plenty of protection without feeling like you had an escort.”
I hadn’t thought he could shock me anymore, but I was wrong. Never in a million years would I have expected him to invite us to hang out with them.
I smiled. “That sounds perfect.” Shit, was that too eager?
“Good.” He smiled at me. “It’s a date.”
A date? Did he mean a date-date, or just a bunch of friends getting together date? I thought it’d be fun to go out with Jamie and the others. But a date? I was probably over-reacting, there was no way he just asked me out on a date. It’s just a figure of speech. Crap, I hadn’t even thought about Ashley, though I was sure she’d be okay with it. She’d joked about hooking up with Jamie, but she was just trying to force me to admit I liked him. And now we’re going on a date? Well, a group outing, but he said date. I wasn’t sure how I should feel. I mean, I was grinning like an idiot, despite my killer hangover. But I shouldn’t get my hopes up or make this a bigger deal than it was. I wonder what Chris will say?
“Emily?” I turned at the sound of my name. “Everything okay?”
I had a feeling he’d called my name more than once. “Yeah, just thinking. I need to ask Ashley if she wants to go with the group.”
“Let me know what she says, and we’ll work it out.”
It wouldn’t be a date. Hell, it wouldn’t even be a group outing. Because he’d be working. I was a fool for reading too much into it.
“I’m sure she won’t pass up the opportunity to hang out with the hot Sheppard brothers.” Did I really just say that out loud? I was quoting Ashley, but Jamie wouldn’t know that. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks and glanced out the window.
He chuckled. “She hasn’t changed much, has she?”
“Not much, no.” Then I felt the need to defend her, so I added, “there’s a good person hiding beneath her party girl exterior.”
He nodded, but I wasn’t sure he believed me. Then again, he probably did. He’d known her a long time, and I was sure he knew she was more into having adventures and trying new things than partying just for the sake of it.
We filled the rest of the time back talking about high school and college. I told him about my job as a web page designer slash social media manager and how much I loved it, especially since I could set my own hours and work on projects all over the world, all while working from home.
Jamie told me about his time on the police force, and then starting Sheppard Sons Investigations with his father and Jack, who was a silent partner while he finished his tour in the Army. It surprised me when he said it was just him and his dad working out of John’s house in the beginning.
I asked about his twin sister, Madi. We weren’t really friends and only did things together because of our families, but I knew she and Jamie were close. Jamie beamed as he bragged about how great Madi was doing in the Navy. She was earning her nursing degree and was thinking of resigning her commission and looking for a job in the private sector. Madi had been quiet in school, at least compared to Jamie and Jack. Well, mostly Jack. Jamie was social, but wasn’t as outgoing as Jack, and he didn’t take risks. He hadn’t wanted to ruin his chances of getting into the police academy.
I thought it was weird that Jamie was the only Sheppard who hadn’t serve in the Military, even his dad served in the Marines before joining the Parker County PD. Not that I judged him for it. He’d gone to college on a full scholarship, graduated early, and went straight into the police academy. Being a cop was all he’d ever wanted. Jack wanted that too, but hadn’t earned a free ride, so he joined the Army and took advantage of the GI Bill to pay for college.
When we came to a natural pause in the conversation, the soft music and steady hum of the tires on the pavement lulled me to sleep. I woke when I felt Jamie gently squeezing my shoulder.
When I noticed Doug parked outside the house, I asked, “I thought Doug was going to get my car?”
“Change of plans. AJ and Jack had some business to take care of in the area, so they’re doing it.”
“When did you find out?” I asked, a little snappier than I should have.
“Meg sent a text while you were napping. I was going to tell you when you woke up, but you noticed Doug before I could.”
“Sorry. I-”
“Please don’t apologize.”
I nodded; if I opened my mouth, I’d probably apologize again.
“They should be back in a couple of hours. I’ll let you if it changes.” He smiled. “Call if you need anything. Now, go get some rest.”
“Thanks, Jamie. You too.” God, I sounded like an idiot. “I meant get some rest, I’m sure you won’t need me.” I laughed nervously.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “bye Emily.”
“Bye.” I got out and walked to the front door. My mom must have been watching for me because she opened it before I could put my key in the lock. I turned and waved to Jamie, who was waiting to make sure I got inside. Even though Doug was parked across the street.
We have a date. Not a real date, but it’d still be fun. I just need to ask Ashley if she wants to go with the group.
After a long nap, a hot shower, and some delicious homemade pot roast, I felt almost human again. I texted Ashley to tell her it wouldn’t be a problem for us to go to the fair. Then I typed, erased, and retyped at least four attempts at mentioning that Jamie asked if I, we, wanted to join him, Jack and Meg. I didn’t want to imply that he’d asked me out on a date, because he hadn’t. It’s just a phrase. Just a group of friends getting together, that’s all.
I settled on phrasing it like it would be easier for them to do their jobs if we all went together.
Jamie asked if we want to go to the fair with him, Jack, Meg, and AJ. I think it’d be more fun to go as a group instead of them following us around. What do you think?
I didn’t tell her I’d gushed like a schoolgirl in a teen rom com when I told Jamie we could all go together.
Sounds fun. Is AJ as hot as Jamie?
*eye roll emoji* Is that all you can think about?
No. Well, maybe. It’ll be more fun if we each have our own hot guy to hang out with.
I don’t even know if he’s single.
I might like the idea of having a hot, protective guy to hang out with, but knew I’d actually be alone. I was too tired to argue with her about her insinuation that Jamie and I would be hanging out as a couple, so I didn’t. It was enough that I knew we wouldn’t be.
I’m still down. It’ll be fun. Is Jack”s fiancé nice?
I only met her once, at the office, but she seemed nice enough.
Cool.So, how are you feeling?
Better. Sleep, lots of water, and some of mom’s pot roast were just what the doctor ordered. You?
All good. I took a nap and am ready to hit the town tonight.
Have fun. We’ll plan for the 4th soon.
I planned on lounging around in comfy clothes and reading. God, my life is so boring.
After making myself some tea, I curled up with the fourth book in the Outlander series. I was totally hooked on the historical romance story of a modern English woman who falls back in time to seventeen-forty-three and meets the second love of her life, a gorgeous, strong Scottish highlander. Holding the book up to my nose, I inhaled. The smell of a new book was one of my favorite scents. I had to buy a new one to replace the copy Craig had destroyed. He’d destroyed all the books I had in this series, plus a few others. So far, this was the only one I’d replaced, because I was in the middle of reading it when I left him.
Before long, I fell asleep with the book in my hand. When my alarm went off, I rolled over, dropping my book on the floor with a thud. Luckily, I pre-set my alarm to go off Monday through Friday or I might have overslept. I must have been more tired than I thought. I almost never fell asleep while reading.
During lunch, I called Chris to talk to him about going to the county fair. He thought it was a bad idea because it’d be harder for Jamie and SSI to protect me if Craig showed up.
It wouldn”t have been a smarter choice to wait a few days before talking to him because he was still mad at me for getting drunk at Ashley’s and spending the night without prior planning. I could have told him Jamie was okay with me going, and that Jack and AJ were going too. I also could have dropped it, and talked to him about it at a better time.
But I started a fight instead.
I was so tired of everyone around me treating me like a fragile child. I reminded him, loudly and with no shortage of snark, that Ashley and I had stayed in her apartment, safe and sound, with Jamie there the whole time. Then I yelled at him for spying on me during my night out. He tried to calm me down by saying he only checked on me because he was worried. Whatever. I yelled back that I didn’t need him to worry about me because I was a big girl.
Then he had the gall to say, “I’m the one paying SSI so not only does it make sense for me to be kept in the loop, but I have every right to check on things, especially if your actions require extra services at the last second.”
Not caring that I’d been worried about the extra costs, I screamed at him, “I have twenty-four-hour coverage, so it didn’t cost you anything extra. And I didn’t ask to have someone following me everywhere I go.” My voice squeaked as tears welled up in my eyes.
I didn’t asked for any of this.
Then I remembered I told Jamie to bill us for the extra time because Jack and AJ picked up my car. I should have apologized, but I was too angry, so I doubled down instead. “Jamie said it’s not a problem.” I spat out the words. Why am I acting like a brat?
I paused, then apologized, and finally admitted that Jamie had said Ashley and I could go with him, Jack, and AJ since they were going anyway.
“If Jamie thinks it’s safe for me to go, why don’t you?” I asked, this time without the attitude.
“Maybe he’s not as worried about you as I am.” Chris sounded exasperated.
I don’t know why it pissed me off, but it did. A lot. Did he really think Jamie didn’t care about me? Or that he didn’t care about doing his job well?
“Are you fucking serious, Chris? He refused to let me drive home because I was too hungover. He’s almost as over-protective as you! And you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. Jamie said I should invite you and Vicky to join us, so consider yourself invited.” When Jamie first mentioned inviting Chris to join us, I’d thought it was a great idea. Now I was hurling the invite at him like a weapon.
“Come or don’t come, whatever, but I’m going.”
“Emily-”
“I have to get back to work.” I hung up on him. Not my finest moment.
I buried my face in my hands and cried. One perk of working from home, no one could see me crying.
I didn’t understand why I was being such a bitch to Chris. He didn’t deserve it. He was worried about me, and I should be happy, grateful he cared. But I’d been lashing out any time he, or anyone, tried to tell me what to do over the last few days, which wasn’t like me. I didn’t get angry, and I certainly didn’t yell at people.
I owe Chris an apology. I loved my big brother, and didn’t want this lingering between us, so after washing my face, I called him back.
“Emi-”
I didn’t give him time to finish before blurting out, “Chris, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Apology accepted.” After a short pause, he added, “Em, I want you to know that I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just worried, that’s all.” He sounded sad.
“I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve been extra sensitive to people trying to control me lately.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again. Anger wasn’t the only emotion I was overly sensitive to lately.
“I guess I can understand that. Just remember I’m on your side, okay?”
“Okay.”
“If I seem over-protective, it’s because I never want to see you hurt like that again.”
More tears. “Thanks Chris, you’re the best big brother.”
“Damn right I am.” I could imagine him patting himself on the back. “And Em, if Jamie says it’ll be okay, then I’ll defer to his professional opinion. I’ll talk to Vicky tonight; I’m sure she’d love to go.”