Chapter 44
It was easy, being on a date with Jamie. Too easy. After years of being in an abusive relationship, Jamie felt too good to be true. But I knew better. Several times throughout the night, I had to remind myself that Jamie was just Jamie. He wasn’t hiding a dark-side, or pretending to be nice to lure me in. I’d known him most of my life, and he’d always been a nice guy, a good guy. And now he’s my guy.
And a damn good-looking one, too. His steel gray dress shirt brought out the blue in his hazel eyes. It’s neat how his eyes seem to change color depending on the lighting or what he’s wearing. His black slacks showed off his sexy-as-sin ass and muscular legs.
“Jamie, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
I wasn’t sure how to ask, because this was our first date, and I didn’t want to spook him.
“Em? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just…” I had to stop being such a coward. When I met his gaze, I saw the compassion and concern in his eyes. He put his hand on the table, palm up in invitation, so I put mine in his. “Is it just me, or does this not feel like a first date?” His knowing grin made my heart do a little dance in my chest. “I mean, first dates are supposed to be weird and awkward as two people get to know each other, right?”
“I thought the same thing. But we’ve known each other most of our lives.” He squeezed my hand. “So aside from wanting to make sure this is the best first date you’ve ever had, I’m not nervous anymore.” If things worked out, it”d be the last first date she”d, we”d, ever have.
“Wait, anymore? You were nervous earlier?” I couldn’t believe it. Why would Jamie be nervous?
He laughed. “You know this is literally only the second first date I’ve gone on? And the last one was fourteen years ago, when I was a sophomore in high school, so it barely counts.”
“I didn’t realize…” I trailed off as it hit me. Jamie hadn’t dated a single person since Isabelle died. I wondered why, but didn’t ask.
“It’s okay. Really. I focused on work and building SSI, and while I had the occasional opportunity to date, it never felt right.”
I didn’t know what to say, too many things were buzzing around in my head, mostly the selfish joy at hearing I was the first person he’d considered dating since losing Isabelle.
“Sorry. That’s kind of dark.” He sipped his beer and changed the subject. “Were you nervous?”
“A little. Ashley said I was being silly, and I quote, “Em, it’s no biggie. You’ve spent more evenings together than apart in the last two weeks.”
I didn’t tell him I spent two hours finding the right dress, or how long I spent curling my hair so the curls hung just the way I wanted them to.
After we were seated, I ordered the shrimp scampi and a side salad, and Jamie ordered a filet, medium rare, with mashed potatoes and a side salad. He let me try his filet and I half regretted not ordering one; it was cooked to perfection and practically melted in mouth. I fed him a bite of my shrimp scampi, making sure the creamy garlic sauce fully coated the pasta. He closed his eyes and said we’d have to come back so he could order it.
After dinner, we walked hand in hand in one of Dallas’s many parks. I enjoyed the warmth of his big, strong hand as he held mine. It takes a lot of strength to be so gentle.
“Jamie?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You just did.” He laughed, then apologized when I raised my eyebrow.
“Why haven’t you tried to kiss me?” It’d been bothering me for days.
We’d finally talked about what happened at the BBQ, when I kissed him in the hallway, and he’d assured me he hadn’t stopped because he didn’t want to kiss me. But he hadn’t tried to kiss me, not once in the last two weeks, even though we’d had plenty of alone time.
“Believe me, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve wanted to kiss you every second we’ve been together, but I needed to be the perfect southern gentleman.”
“Why?” I hadn’t wanted him to be a gentleman, perfect or otherwise. I wanted him to kiss me.
“Strict orders from your brother, and out of respect for your father.” He grinned. “Besides, if Ma found out I’d been anything less, she’d kill me.”
He stepped in front of me and held my gaze. “But the most important reason is because you deserve to be treated with respect.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. Well then, that answers that question.
Jamie swept my hair off my face. “But if your question was an invitation, then I’ll kiss you right here, right now, Emily Taylor.” His hand on the back of my neck applied just enough pressure to encourage me to lean forward. I was still in control and could tell him no, but there was no way in hell I would because I’d been dreaming about kissing Jamie Sheppard most of my life, and right now I wanted him to kiss me more than I wanted my next breath.