Chapter 18
REBEKAH
The drive to Red Hill was quiet and heavy. I knew that Daddy was trying his best to help, but there really wasn’t anything that could fix this situation. I was grateful that he wanted to make my birthday plans with Alicia happen, though.
Once I was showered and dressed in Alicia’s favorite color, I twisted my hair into the braid that she always helped me do and grabbed her blanket from the house.
This year, though, I brought two blankets.
I didn’t want to leave behind the one I had stolen from Daddy, so it was folded neatly in my lap along with Alicia’s and Ophelia.
We stopped at the local bakery and bought cupcakes, one for me, Daddy, and Alicia. Mrs. Betty spotted me as soon as I walked into the store, flying around the counter to wrap me up in a big hug.
It hadn’t been that long since I had left here, but she always felt like the mother I never had.
Sadly, Alicia and I were raised by our grandparents because our mom was a drug addict, and we never knew our dad.
For all we knew, he was her dealer or some random man she found on a Saturday night after her high crashed.
I never let Alicia feel the pain that I did, though. I wanted her to grow up feeling loved, never knowing what it meant to not have a regular mom. I just hoped that when she died, she knew that I loved her more than any mother ever could. She was my baby, even if I didn’t give birth to her.
“Alicia would be eighteen today,” Mrs. Betty said as she wrapped up our cupcakes in pretty packaging, the kind that you paid extra for.
She had been doing that since the first time I came in here to buy Alicia’s birthday cupcakes.
“I didn’t know if you would be here today, but I made sure to have a cupcake ready for her anyway. ”
The tears I had finally managed to stop started flowing once more. I had forgotten just how much people here cared. Alicia was obsessed with Mrs. Betty’s carrot cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. The only time of the year when those cupcakes could be found on her shelves was during Easter.
I’ll never forget that first year when I came in here to purchase what I needed. I was ready to get whatever was available since Alicia’s birthday was in the middle of fall, and I knew that her favorite flavor wouldn’t be available.
Nothing could have prepared me for that moment when I sat at her grave and pulled out the cupcakes, only to realize that Mrs. Betty had baked a special carrot cupcake just for today. I never asked her to do that, but she knew how much Alicia loved them.
From then on, she always made sure to have one twice a year, during Easter and on Alicia’s birthday. I heard Daddy tell Mrs. Betty that he would take whatever I would be having and insist on paying, even though I could have told him that the argument was dumb to try and have.
If anyone could beat Abuela in the stubbornness department, it was Mrs. Betty. Daddy decides to just slip a hefty tip into her jar. “Are you going to tell me who this handsome man is, Bekah?”
I blushed, realizing that I never mentioned who Daddy was. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Betty, of course. This is Beau, he’s my next-door neighbor, boss, and my amazing boyfriend.”
Every time I called him that, I felt butterflies erupt deep within. It didn’t feel real that Daddy was mine, but he made sure to remind me every day. Especially on the days when doubt crept in, making its ugly face known.
“Beau, this is Mrs. Betty. She’s the maker of the best cupcakes in Red Hill and the pseudo-grandmother of all the kids in town who grew up here.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“The pleasure is mine. Now you run along, kids. I know that today is an important day. Ed has been going out there every few weeks to make sure her grave is in tiptop shape. Give her my love, Bekah. I love you.”
Pushing back my tears once more, I nodded as the words lodged themself into my throat.
“Take care of our girl here, Beau. She’s stronger than she knows and as stubborn as they come. But she is worthy of so much love and attention.”
“Of course, ma’am. I’ve got her from here, promise. Thank you for everything you have done for her over the years.”
Giving Mrs. Betty a wave, I let Daddy direct me out of the bakery and back to the truck. It was time to go see my sister again.
Daddy helped me get all my things settled around me beside my sister before giving me some privacy. He told me that when I was ready, he would be here. Until then, he wanted me to spend some one-on-one time with Alicia. So that was what I planned on doing.
“Happy birthday, baby sis,” I croaked out, tears already beginning to fall down my face. My heart felt like it was being ripped into two again, as if I was back on that dreadful night I tried so hard to forget.
“You would have been eighteen today and probably driving me insane. I know that you would have been the social butterfly everyone loved. Homecoming, prom, college acceptance day, and graduation would have been right around the corner for you. I can just imagine all the fun we would have found ourselves in.”
A butterfly landed on the top of her grave, and I couldn’t stop the sob that escaped. She was always my little butterfly, a nickname I gave her the day she was born.
“Where to begin? Well, I moved away finally. I know that I should have done it a long time ago, but I couldn’t bear the idea of leaving you and all our memories behind.
I wasn’t living, though, and I know that you would have kicked my ass for just existing, wasting the second chance I was given.
So I packed up Grandma and Grandpa’s house, sold a lot of the belongings inside it, and moved to Shadow Heights. ”
I picked at the grass in front of me, tearing off strands to shred in my hands. It never got easier, no matter how many times I sat at her grave.
“I found a cute little house that I’ve been having to fix up as I go.
It’s given me something to focus on, and I’m now on a first-name basis with the local hardware store.
I found a job at a private investigation company.
I work in the office doing administrative tasks.
I’ve made some new friends, and I just know that you would have loved Seth and Josh.
Seth reminds me a lot of you, and I can’t help but think you sent him my way. ”
Turning, I looked behind me, where Beau sat on the bench, enjoying the sunshine.
“I also met someone, and I think you would have loved him as well. His name is Beau, and he’s my boss and next-door neighbor.
Go me, right?” I said with a chuckle. “He treats me like a princess, Alicia. He’s actually the reason we are even here today.
Determined to help me cope with today however I needed to. ”
I pulled the box of cupcakes toward me and started digging around, setting everything up. I placed her cupcake with a single candle on the top of her grave before turning around and waving Daddy over.
“How are you doing, Sweets?”
“I’m okay, Daddy. Ready to try the best cupcakes you will ever have?”
Daddy nodded, settling on the ground before pulling me into his arms. Handing him his chocolate cupcake with Oreo frosting, I grabbed my own before turning and lighting Alicia’s candle.
“Happy birthday, Alicia,” I said, leaning back into Daddy’s embrace.
A moment later, the breeze shifted, and the candle blew out, just like she always did. Taking a small bite of my cupcake, I sat in silence, just taking in all the emotions that were racing through my body.
Above all the pain, sadness, and despair, the greatest emotion I felt was peace. Once I was done with my cupcake, I motioned toward Alicia’s grave. “Daddy, I would like you to meet my baby sister and best friend in the whole world, Alicia.”
“Hi, sweet girl. I’m Beau and I couldn’t be more happy to be meeting you today.”
“Alicia, this is my boyfriend and Daddy, Beau. The one who has turned my world upside down, in a good way.”
Hours passed as Daddy and I sat and talked with Alicia. The butterfly never left, just sitting on one side of the grave with her cupcake on the other. As the sun began to set, I grew tired and cold.
Daddy helped us stand and took my blankets and Ophelia to the truck, giving me one last moment alone with my sister. Leaning down, I dropped a kiss on the top of the grave. “I love you and miss you so much, sissy. I’m in good hands with Daddy, and I’m sure we will be back soon.”
The butterfly moved for the first time since landing. I didn’t dare move a muscle as it landed on my hand for a moment before flying away. After blowing a kiss Alicia’s way, I turned and walked into Daddy’s waiting embrace.
“Let’s go home, Sweets.”
I looked out the window as Daddy headed around the truck.
Squinting hard, I spotted a shadowed figure in the distance.
Immediately, I felt off and sick, seeing them stand there.
Daddy opening his door had me turning in his direction, interrupting my thoughts.
When I turned back toward where the shadow figure was, the spot was empty.
“Ready?”
“Yeah, Daddy, I’m ready. Let’s go home.”
The following days after we returned home passed in a numb blur. I always felt like a zombie after visiting her, and I was sure I scared Daddy. My will to be a functioning member of society evaporated, and I went through the motions.
Daddy had been my rock, though, always close and never letting me spend longer than a few moments in my spiraling dread.
I spent a lot of the time in Middle space, trying to cope.
Daddy, of course, immediately stepped up and took control.
I was grateful that I didn’t have to think about anything besides what Legos I was doing and if I’d drunk all the water Daddy brought me in my tumbler.
I heard a knock at the door, but I sat engrossed in my current Legos build. I was finally working on the big one Daddy had bought me, since I had already completed the rest of the small ones.