Chapter 10
________
ENDRE
Katalena.
I observed the female from the shadows of the hall. She’d turned toward the wall, buried in blankets. Her hair shone like something between copper and rubies in the firelight. The gold from the traditional bridal paint still smeared her skin. She shone, and the most feral, dragon part of me saw treasure.
But treasure didn’t drag hell and punishment to our doorstep. Fury still clung to every piece of me, and I hadn’t even been able to speak to Zovai before I came here to see what had trapped him.
I could scent her from across the space, something at once gentle and wild. Like the scent of the sun and wind fresh off the sea and something more delicate and rich. Herbs and spices and flowers.
Perhaps the scent of the wind merely clung to her from our hours of flying.
I didn’t see anything that made her remarkable. She was beautiful, yes. And if he were to be believed, brave. But nothing that should have made Zovai turn so entirely on his orders and duty. We would have to see later. I was not such a monster that I would wake someone after a flight like that.
The poor human was probably terrified and exhausted. And hungry. Or she would be when she woke.
Moving silently, I set a plate of food through the slot which was meant for it. It was food that would keep until she was ready.
At the end of the bed, the remnants of her wedding dress remained, torn apart. I glanced at the sleeping female.
Interesting.
Torn beyond use during the attack and the flight? Or something else.
I retreated before I was standing there while I watched her sleep. Despite the fact that we would probably still have to kill her, it didn’t sit well with me to see her caged. Females shouldn’t be caged. Their wild nature was too much to be contained and was meant to be both savored and protected.
Katalena was not an ordinary human woman. She was the daughter of our enemy. Someone who wanted us dead. Zovai’s dragon thought otherwise, but I would not be swayed until we had proof.
I stalked through the bare caverns and back to the populated part of the mountain. The guards at the entrance to the cells bowed their heads as I passed. I doubted a human woman would be able to escape. Even if she did, she wouldn’t get far. But I wasn’t reckless enough to post no guards at all.
My shoulders eased as I passed back into the mountain palace, filled with light and warmth. Skalisméra was hardly the biggest city in the dragon lands, but it was my favorite. My home away from home. I’d been born here. A long fucking time ago, granted, but I still loved it. And I didn’t get to visit nearly as often as I liked. I got to visit my actual home even less.
One day I would be free to live where I chose until I faded. But I knew that time wasn’t now. Probably wouldn’t be for centuries.
Anger anxiety coiled in my gut, churning, telling me to shift back into my dragon form and take to the skies to burn it off. I shoved the feelings back down into a cage far less secure than the one I’d left the human in. My body was tired in both forms, and as much as my rage would benefit from more flight, I could live without the soreness of pushing myself beyond the bounds of my own strength.
I snorted.
Once upon a time, a flight like today wouldn’t have put even a flicker of strain on me.
My mouth tightened, my teeth creaking as they clenched. I really was tired, if these kinds of thoughts were the ones plaguing me.
Zovai sat in front of the open fire pit in our private quarters, staring into the flames like they would speak to him. He didn’t bear that gift.
“The human sleeps.”
He said nothing, only lifting the cup dangling from his fingers to take a sip.
I poured my own drink, hoping it would take the edge off my mind enough to sleep, and sat across from him.
Z’s eyes lifted to mine. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you?”
He inclined his head. “As much as I can be.”
Smirking at him, I lifted my glass. “Little late for that, Z.”
“I know. But it’s still true. I’m sorry for whatever consequences this might bring, and I promise I will be the one to bear them.”
Fuck the stars. I downed the drink in one go, savoring a burn that was different from my fire to ignore the memories. “I just want to know why.”
“Don’t you think I’ve been asking myself that same thing since it happened?” Zovai snarled. He rose to his feet and downed his glass in one swallow. “Every fucking second of the flight and every second since I dumped her in the cell.”
Turning, he hurled the glass at the wall where it shattered in a shower of a thousand sparkles. “Even now, Endre, I feel a pull to go to her. It’s like she’s calling to me, and I fucking hate it.” His chest heaved with the breaths he took. “She’s a human. She is nothing. After all the lives we’ve taken, it shouldn’t matter. So why? If I could go right now and finish it, I would, simply to be free of it. But I can’t.”
I watched my friend and brother, taking a sip of my drink. How far did it go? “Then I’ll do it,” I said. “She’s sleeping. It will be fast.”
Zovai was on me in a second, pinning me to the couch with a feral growl. “Don’t you dare.”
Raising an eyebrow, I allowed him to feel what he’d done.
“Fuck.” Zovai muttered the word under his breath. “I’m unravelling at the seams. And there’s nothing, Endre. There’s nothing. There is no reason.”
I studied him for a long time. There wasn’t much I could do to reassure him. While the three of us shared a bond out of our roles and titles, I wasn’t in his head or body. I didn’t know what he was experiencing. Finally, I spoke. “I can’t promise you she’ll live.”
“I know that.” He sighed. “I know, but… I truly can’t explain it. Perhaps it was the stars intervening. Or perhaps I’m finally going mad in my old age.” I snorted at that. “But I couldn’t kill her. My dragon believes she cannot die by my hand. And I promise I tried.”
I grunted, not responding further. We would see. Maybe it was true that she wasn’t meant to die by his hand. It didn’t mean she wasn’t meant to die at mine.
“If I need to end her life, are you going to stop me?” I asked evenly.
Zovai’s whole body went stiff, fighting his instincts. “Yes,” he finally ground out. “If you tell me beforehand, I will have no choice.”
The desolation in those words tugged at my soul. Familiar. I understood them and the feeling, because it had lived in me for centuries. Very rarely did I ever have a choice. “Very well.”
It was all I voiced out loud. I did not say that I would simply not tell him.
“Stars.” He shook his head. “I hope you feel it. I hope you understand it, if only so I am not alone in this… fervor.”
Hope was a thing I had not had in a very long time, and I did not have it now. Not even to comfort my friend and brother. “We shall see.”
The only reason the woman still lived was because of curiosity. By rights, I should have opened that cell and run her through instead of offering her food. It might yet come to that.
Sirrus came out of his room. The dampness in his hair told me he’d been in the baths. Not a terrible idea after such a long journey. “Do they know yet?”
The Elders.
“No,” I said. “Or at least I have not heard that they do. But considering we’re not there… they will suspect something.”
I concentrated on unclenching my jaw. The dichotomy of what was expected of us and what was really wanted weighed on me. We’d been sent to execute Katalena quickly and efficiently, but if word had gotten back of the three of us unleashing our full power on the palace of Rensara—which we hadn’t—I knew the Elders wouldn’t be upset.
If anything, they would be overjoyed. It was the three of us that did not want more harm than needed. They also grew restless with the standstill, eager to strike, though they could not. Every year our situation grew more dire. Not only ours, but the humans as well. They refused to listen, so we’d retreated.
For now.
There wasn’t much I could do. Holding back the Elders could not last forever, even if I tried. It was out of my control. Whether it was tomorrow or in another century, they would choose to wipe humans off the face of the continent rather than perish, if they couldn’t simply wait them out into extinction.
“Once they know the girl isn’t dead,” Sirrus sat down heavily, “they will order action. Or send someone to take care of it.”
Zovai punched the wall where his glass had hit it, cracking the stone. When he looked back, his dragon looked back at us, smoke seeping from his nose and mouth. He stared at me, a naked challenge in his gaze. I met it without fear.
In the centuries we’d been alive, we had fought. Nothing had been able to overcome our friendship and bond, but it didn’t mean it would always be easy. In the end, he looked away first, acknowledging his loss. “I fucking hate this.”
Above anything, it was his loss for words and actions that unsettled me. Of the three of us, Zovai was the one who hesitated the least. Jumped into action without thought. Didn’t wait. To see him spinning his wheels was unnerving.
“What’s done is done,” I said. “Rest for the night. In the morning, when she wakes, we will speak to her. And decide.”
He stalked to his rooms without saying more, slamming the door behind him.
“I think he might be struggling more with saving her life than we are.” Sirrus smiled faintly.
“And I don’t know what to think about that.”
He shrugged. “Neither do I.”
I stared into the flames and let my thoughts circle and my body ease. Sirrus eventually retired as well, but I didn’t. I stared into the flames and let them sear my eyes. Let them burn until they were all I could see, following every possible path this could lead us down.
The last time the Fallen had nudged us in a direction, it hadn’t ended well. And this felt the same. Like walking up to a precipice in human form, knowing we could not shift, and jumping anyway.
I blinked and noticed the sky lightening in the windows. Time had slipped away as I sat, dawn approaching. Despite the rest I needed, there would be no rest for me until I knew more. Until I understood.
Until I sorted out the sensation of destiny tugging at my chest, urging me to jump into the wind and fall without care.
Perhaps it was better if we didn’t speak to her at all.
Perhaps this dawn should be marked only by her death.
Standing, I made my way back to the cells.