Chapter 34
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ENDRE
Lena’s bright hair looked like spilled blood under the light of the moon. No matter how much I wished it away, the comparison would not leave my mind.
Idroal had wandered a ways away into the field, their green body blending in with the tall grasses swaying in the night wind. I knew the dragon had retreated to give us some privacy, as we had yet to have a true moment alone since we encountered Relkym on the beach.
How long have you known?Zovai asked.
My brother remained in his dragon form, keeping watch. There were few things in these lands that could pose a threat to the three of us, but we would take no chances. Especially with Lena on our backs.
Known what?
Sparks floated upwards in the darkness. That the Elders aimed to drive mankind to extinction.
I didn’t know. I suspected.
His annoyance seethed beneath his thoughts. You’re going to make that distinction? Really? I feel like a fool, Endre. How long have you known?
I pulled Lena closer, turning her toward my body, hoping my natural heat would keep her warm against the sweeping winds of these plains. She was so, so fragile.
A while.
Sirrus sat with his back turned to us, observing in a different direction. And why not say something?
He was calm, but Zovai wasn’t. Not just something. Why not say anything? All this time, Endre, I have known your punishment to be unjust. And though I did not agree with it, in a way I understood the Elder’s view of why. To teach the three of us the importance of loyalty at all costs, despite the callousness. To prove to the rest of dragonkind they could control and command their Heirs. Not this. So why?
I looked back at him. The weight on my shoulders felt heavy tonight. It had felt heavier since Lena crashed into our lives like she was one of the Fallen themselves, knowing what I suspected, and since Relkym appeared, it seemed like the entire weight of Skalisméra sat upon my wings and pinned me to the dirt. Why would it matter?
Why would it matter?Everything about the question was laced with grief. Do you truly believe I’m not worth knowing the truth?After all this time?
Of course not, I snapped. That is not what I meant and despite your anger, you know that. Be fucking angry with me. You have every right. But don’t accuse me of that simply because you’re in pain.
Brutal silence filled the connection between our minds.
Smoke blew over Lena and me in a gentle breath. You’re right. I’m sorry.
I looked at him again. I mean it did not matter because there’s nothing that can be done. You both know the Elders as well as I do. Sirrus was still included in this conversation, silent as he was. It was the way of things to harden as they aged, and dragons were no exception. The longer they lived the less they understood the world. The more they looked to the things which only concerned them.
That the humans betrayal had been more than three hundred years ago meant nothing to them. As soon as the choice had been made, humans were no longer of value, and they were something temporary. A fading obstacle.
Nor did it matter that the rash decision of a few vile humans was not the measure of a race or culture. They believed what they wished.
And not the first, nor the hundredth, nor the thousandth time in my life, I wished I were not bound by the rules of my own species. Where my very being must bow to the whims of those more powerful by accident of birth. Nothing I did could change them or change the submission my own nature forced on me. And so here we were, bound to beasts who would shatter the world as they knew it for a chance to make it whole in the way they wished. No matter the cost.
We can do nothing,I told him, though he already knew. We all needed to speak it and hear it.
Grieve it.
If we had been ordered to fly to Rensara and burn it to rubble without setting foot on the ground, we would have had no choice. And if we’d found one of our clever loopholes, they would have ordered it again and again until it was done. They still might command us to do things we cannot refuse, even if they are unspeakable.
I stroked my hand over Lena’s hair and savored the peace on her sleeping face. Despite me bearing the brunt of our punishment, Z, we have all suffered. I did not want to make you suffer further. I am sorry for allowing you to feel foolish. It was not my intent.
For all his fire and restless energy, my brother had a good heart. If I hadn’t stood first on the field that day, he would have. Knowing what the Elders intended, he might have done something without thinking of the consequences, and the Elders would have killed him without a thought.
There has to be a way. Sirrus echoed my words from the other day. There must be.
Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. Unless you know of a way to kill them, I know of nothing. Have found nothing. And if either of you think I have merely existed these last centuries without trying, you are both mistaken. Then, softer and quieter, because I did not even want to give the thought voice. If they command me to kill her, I want you to kill me. Or if they prevent that, I will end myself first. I will not do it.
The others didn’t have to speak for me to feel them agree and want the same. It was the fear that gripped my heart the tightest. And after that, if I were forced to end my own life to save hers, would it even make a difference? We would no longer be there to protect her, and her life would end regardless.
I shuddered.
Idroal would try, but there weren’t any guarantees.
That is, if they even let us get that far. Even without a command, they could hold us hostage. They could prevent us from harming ourselves. But it didn’t change the fact that I would try to fight and shred my own wings if it meant I could save Lena from harm—at my hand or anyone else’s.
Why haven’t they returned to the stars?Zovai asked. Why are they still here?
No answers came to mind. Though humans called them such, dragons did not possess true immortality. Supernaturally long life, yes, extended further by the power of each individual dragon. Even the most powerful dragons still aged and faded, yet the Elders seemed to show no signs of it despite being ancient. Few dragons had lived as long.
Even Idroal would soon begin the process of fading, and they were older than most.
Endre, if you were free, Sirrus said. Could you?
Could I kill them?
If I were honest, I wasn’t sure. There was a reason they held the positions they did. I shook my head with a silent laugh. I should ask you the same question. Our powers are not so dissimilar without bonds. Alone? I don’t know. Together, I’m sure we could.
Have they ever commanded you not to kill them?
No.
It was the one glorious thing I held on to. Even if I never had the chance, to know I could take the opportunity made me grateful.
My brothers’ minds steeled with determination.
Zovai rustled his wings as he settled in for his watch. Then I shall hope there is an opportunity for us. After all this time, the Fallen owe us that much.
I didn’t have it in my heart to hope. Because after all these years, I’d long given up on any idea of fate. But for her, and for the chance to change things, I would try.
Closing my eyes, I held Lena more tightly against me and listened to her breathe.