Chapter 33
Brielle
“He’s not going to stop looking until he finds you,” Nicole says over the phone. “The man has practically torn this town apart in search of you.”
“That doesn’t prove that he loves me. I just made him look bad by leaving. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have filed for divorce.”
“Did he actually file?” Nicole asks, and I groan in annoyance.
We’ve been through this a dozen times.
“Look,” I start, but before I can finish my thought, the front door opens, and in walks my husband. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you back.”
I hang up and stand, torn between wanting to kiss Kane—because it’s been a month since I’ve seen him and I’ve missed him more than I’ll ever admit—and wanting to tell him to get out because I left for Russia to get away from him, needing time to think.
“You found me,” I whisper, drinking him in.
He’s dressed in a white button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled to his forearms and a pair of charcoal slacks.
He’s sporting a full beard and messy hair, like he hasn’t shaved or gotten a haircut in weeks.
His usually bright brown eyes are dull, and he has faint black circles under his eyes.
My brothers told me that he wasn’t taking my leaving well, which I didn’t understand since he was literally the one who’d had the divorce papers drawn up, but seeing him like this has me wondering if they weren’t wrong.
“I’ve been looking for you since you left,” he admits, cutting across the room.
I take a step back, and he stops short and frowns.
“You should’ve let me explain.”
“Explain why you not only messed with my birth control, but also pretended to care about me, only for you to have divorce papers drawn up?” I scoff. “I think it’s all pretty obvious. You—”
“Love you,” he interjects, stepping toward me. “I love you, Princess.” He raises his hand like he wants to touch me, but then he shakes his head and puts the hand in his pocket. “That’s why I had the divorce papers drawn up.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I choke out, in shock that he just told me the very words I’d longed to hear, only to follow it up with it being his reason for wanting a divorce.
“It does,” he says. “I love you enough to let you go. The truth is, when I came to town, I never planned to force you to marry me.” He chuckles humorlessly. “My only goal was to fuck up the waterfront expansion. But then I saw how profitable it was, and instead of fucking it up, I wanted in on it.”
He takes another step toward me. Instead of refraining this time, he gently cups the side of my face, and instinctually, I lean into it, craving his warmth.
“And then I met you,” he murmurs, using his thumb to stroke my jawline.
I should push him away. Insist that he not touch me.
But I’m weak when it comes to Kane. He’s the only man I’ve let in and let my guard down for.
And even though his betrayal hurts like hell, I can’t help the way my body and heart react to his touch.
My entire life, I’ve craved control, but with Kane, I willingly want to relinquish it to him.
“We spent the night together, and I knew that one night wouldn’t be enough.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, confused as to why he let me leave without saying something. “I felt the same way,” I admit. “The only reason why I left without saying anything was because you’d dismissed me.”
“Because you were the enemy.” He brings his other hand up and holds my face between his hands.
“And I knew, once you learned who I was, there was no way you would willingly marry me. So, I told myself, by forcing you to marry me, I was getting what was owed to my family. But there was never a moment that I didn’t want you.
Hell, I’m almost positive I was in love with you before I even said my vows. ”
“And to prove how much you loved me, you had divorce papers drawn up?”
Kane shakes his head and steps back, and I immediately miss his touch.
“I had the divorce papers drawn up the day after you told me you had been raped and then forced to have an abortion.”
My heart sinks.
I was right.
“Because I’m damaged goods.”
“What?” he hisses, closing the space between us again. “No.” He pulls me into his arms and moves us to the couch, settling me in his lap. “You are not damaged,” he bites out. “You are the strongest fucking person I’ve ever known.”
“Then why don’t you want to be with me?” I choke out, hating how vulnerable I sound.
“I do,” he argues. “I want more than anything to be with you, baby. But you’ve been forced into doing shit your entire life, and I knew that if I forced you to stay in this marriage, you would never truly love me the way I love you.”
He drops his head against my chest, and without thinking, I delve my fingers into the soft strands of his hair.
When he glances back up at me, his whiskey-colored eyes are glassy.
“You deserve to have a choice, Bri. So, I drew up the divorce papers so you could finally have a choice.” His hands go to my hips, and his fingers dig into my flesh.
“I never should’ve taken your choices away from you.
So, the decision is yours. If you stay married to me, I promise I’ll love you for the rest of our lives.
But …” He swallows thickly, his features turning pained.
“If you sign the divorce papers, I’ll let you go, no matter how hard it’ll be. ”
He’s giving me a choice.
He doesn’t want a divorce.
And then I remember a crucial detail that he isn’t aware of.
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?” he breathes out.
“I’m pregnant. Looks like your placebo worked. I took a home test … well, several actually … and they all say the same thing—I’m pregnant. Still okay with giving me a choice?”
“Holy shit.” His eyes descend to my still-flat stomach.
Though I can already feel my body changing. Since I don’t know how long he’s been messing with my birth control, I can only go by my missed period, putting me at roughly eight weeks along.
“You’re pregnant?” His hand goes to my belly, and butterflies erupt in my chest.
“Because you switched out my birth control!”
Needing space, I push his hand away and climb off his lap.
“No, I didn’t,” he says, standing as well. “I put them under the sink and then moved them to my desk. I didn’t know you’d found and taken them.”
He smirks and then quickly reins it in. “I’d like to say I’m sorry, but I will never regret you being pregnant with my baby.”
He steps toward me, and I shake my head, silently halting him, knowing if I let him touch me, I’ll give in.
“This doesn’t change anything,” he says. “I won’t force you to be with me. If you want to be with me, then I would love nothing more than to raise this baby together. I never imagined having a wife, let alone a baby. But I want it with you.”
“And if I decide I want a divorce?” I quirk a brow, trying to remain strong.
“Then we’ll figure it out,” Kane says. “I will never force you to do anything again.”
The thought of raising this baby without Kane by my side makes me sick to my stomach. And not because I’m incapable of doing it on my own, but because I’ve always wanted to have a family, and if we divorce, I’ll be a single mom, and every dream I’ve had of having a family will be shot to hell.
“I love you, Brielle. And I have no doubt that the life we could have together would be fucking beautiful. But you have to want it too.”
It would be so easy to go to him, to let him back in, and agree to stay married to him so that we could be a family. But a part of me would always wonder if I did it because I loved him or if I loved the idea of having a family with him.
“I need time,” I blurt out. “This isn’t how I envisioned my life,” I say honestly. “I know I care about you, but I need to make sure that if I stay married to you, it’s for the right reasons.”
“Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll give you as much time as you need.
But, please, consider coming home with me.
If you want to live somewhere else, I’ll understand—even though I’ll fucking hate it.
But I don’t want to miss your pregnancy.
If you don’t come home, I’ll have to move here, which will make running my company hard, but I’ll do it because—”
“Breathe.” I laugh softly. “I’ll come home.”
He releases a harsh breath and closes the space between us. “I know I’m not the husband you dreamed of, but I hope, one day, I’ll be the man you can fall in love with because I’ve fallen so fucking in love with you, Princess, and I’ll spend every day proving it to you.”
I nod in understanding, unable to speak due to the lump of emotion caught in my throat. Because the truth is, I’ve already fallen in love with Kane.
Now, I just need to find out if I can forgive him.