44-The Re
Words I thought I’d never be able to say again: my brother is alive.
How the hell is that possible?
I saw his cold and pale body, or did I? I’ve read about trauma victims who see things that aren’t real. The distorted images that we believe are there but aren’t.
Is that what happened?
But I buried him.
I mourned him.
I visit his grave weekly.
Maybe he’s not real, and I imagined it all. Who even knows anymore with everything that’s happened.
As soon as we left the warehouse, Javi rode with me in one ambulance, and Jo and Elisa rode in the other.
Elisa is alive.
This is all surreal.
When we pull up to the hospital”s entrance, I swing my legs on the side of the gurney and run through the sliding doors.
“Wait, Sadie, hold on,” Javi reaches for me, pulling me to a stop.
Javi lowers his voice. “How about we wait for your mom and grandmother? I’m sure they would want to go in with you together.” He pulls away and takes a step back.
I nod in agreement.
Fifteen minutes later, Carter walks in with Mom and Abuela on both sides of him. Mom limps with her cane toward me, and I meet her halfway, pulling her into a hug. Abuela wraps her arms around us as our tears flow faster than my heartbeat.
“Are you ready?” Carter’s voice pulls us apart.
We wipe our faces and give him a nod even though we could never be ready for this.
We follow Javi and Carter down the hall through the double doors to the nurse’s station.
Javi turns to face me, Mom, and Abuela. “Are you ready?”
“Are you?” I ask him.
He gives me a solemn look. “No.”
I give him a small smile. “Me neither.”
DONOVAN
Once I ended the call with Javi, I immediately called Ash and told him to meet me at the hospital. Then I changed Sophia’s diaper and grabbed her bottle that was in the fridge. I strapped her in the spare car seat that was in her room and jumped into my car and took off down the road.
I pull up to the hospital ER entrance. I step out of the vehicle and open the back door. Everything that has happened has worn Sophia out she fell asleep during the drive, and her head lolls to the side as I carefully lift her from her seat. She stirs but stays asleep against my chest.
The valet attendantsmiles, hands me a ticket, and takes my keys. When he pulls away in my car, I spin on my heels and dart through the sliding doors.
When I reach the front desk, an older lady in light blue scrubs with a flower print greets me.
“Hi, I’m here to see Jo—”
“Yo, D.”
I glance over my shoulder to see Ash striding toward me.
“Is this for real? He’s alive?” he whispers in disbelief.
I sigh. “Yeah.”
“Let’s go then.” Ash walks past me, and I follow. As soon as we walk through the doors that lead to the emergency area, my eyes spot Shorty and her family standing near the nurse’s station.
As if she can feel my presence, she turns around to face me with wide eyes.
I’m here, baby.
She runs toward me.
SADIE
I sense him as soon as a slight breeze hits my back when the doors open. I turn around, and my heart flutters when I see Donnie holding my daughter against his chest and Ash standing beside them.
Before I know it, my feet have me sprinting toward him, and Ash takes Sophia into his arms. Donnie quickly catches me, and my legs wrap around his waist.
“Oh, my God. You’re here,” I whisper against his neck.
Donnie pulls me into a fierce hug. “Always,” he whispers in my ear.
When I pull away, he sets me on the floor, grabs my face with his hands, and softly kisses me. “You got this,” he says against my lips. “We’ll be here when you get out. I love you.”
I shut my eyes and soak in his words. “I love you too.”
Ash steps up to me and pulls me into a half hug while Sophia snuggles against him. I press a kiss on the back of her head.
She smells like fresh baby powder as if Donnie has taken care of her while I wasn’t there to do it. Is it possible to love him more than I already do?
I turn away from my boys and follow Javi down the hall. We walk past the nurse’s station until we reach room number ten.
Jo is behind this door.
Months of grief cling to me like an annoying shadow, reminding me of the smallest moments of joy with a bittersweet ache, a constant reminder of what once was.
“He knows you’re here,” Javi says quietly.
My eyes are glued to the door. The moment it opens, everything will change.
I take a deep breath when Javi turns the doorknob.
One step.
My heart beats.
Two steps.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Three steps.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Javi pulls back the curtain, and I can’t hold the heartbreak back anymore. I fall to my knees as I stare at his whiskey color eyes and his smile that is brighter than the sun.
“Jo?” I gasp, tears flooding my vision.
Mom wails.
Abuela mumbles incoherent words in Spanish.
We’re all a bubbling mess, staring at a ghost—a ghost who haunted every inch of the house and at every second we lived without him.
“Hey, sis. Are you going to hug me or stand there?” He smirks, causing a laugh to come out of me.
“You’re still cocky as ever.”
He smiles and spreads his arms out for me. I run into his arms and cry against his shoulder.
“It’s going to be ok, Sade. We’re going to be ok.”
Yes, we will be.