Chapter Twenty-Five
For Real
Anthony
I might not have ever left town, but I’d been running for years myself.
My mind ran laps around memories of people I could never talk to or touch again. I was haunted by what ifs, by unfinished conversations and questions that no one aside from God would ever have the answer to.
I called them my demons, a rather affectionate term for a darkness I had no other name for. The therapist Daisy hired after my parents’ death had their opinions, but what did they know?
Post Traumatic my ass.
I wasn’t even there when the explosion happened.
My brother was.
The firemen barely got him out, if you hear Daisy tell it.
Eric was the only survivor, and a part of me had always felt some type of way about that fact. I never could explain it, really. It wasn’t resentment.
He wasn’t lucky to have experienced it.
Moreover, it was the nagging wonder of whether things would have been different if I was there.
Would I have known my dad was cooking his meth while mom was sleeping?
Would I have been able to alert my mother enough for her to go to Aunt Daisy’s house with us, as she sometimes did when he was too out of his mind to be messing with things?
I was haunted by a two-sided figure that I’d never come to terms with. One half of his face was the father I idolized, the other half was the madness that consumed him when he got caught up in his meth endeavors. The side that cost me my mother.
It had always been a joke to call him a mad scientist, until the explosion.
I had to risk life and limb to shut those demons up, until I met her.
She silenced them.
Every last one. It was only me and her, and a road full of possibilities when we were together, and for once in my life I saw a glimmer of… something.
Hope?
I needed to hear her say it. I needed to feel her with me. I wanted her to hold on for the long ride, not just for right now. I needed her to know in that pretty, blonde head of hers that she was mine and this was real.
I didn’t sleep, but I laid there holding her, watching her, until she stirred just before dawn.
A laugh caught in her throat and she bugged her eyes. “What are you doing staring at me like that?”
I teased my finger along the edge of her face, tipped her chin up and stole a kiss before she could object. Her fingers flew up to my mouth, and she began protesting about brushing her teeth, until I let her slide out from beneath the covers and scamper off to the bathroom.
The shower kicked on, but I refused to budge. The check out time wasn’t for hours and I wasn’t in any hurry to leave her. I didn’t want to leave her at all.
I had to figure out how to get her over her fear of going home with me.
I laid there replaying the ride in my mind again.
We’d been so close to the Raymond exit. If I’d have made it there, I’d probably have taken her hostage.
I laughed at the mental image and the door popped open. Crystal stood there, toweling her hair and giving the room a slow once over.
“What are you laughing about? I thought maybe someone stopped by.”
I’d never tire of seeing her in my shirt. She was so petite it came to her mid-thigh.
“Come here.” I smiled and threw the covers off my legs.
She crawled up the length of me and the bed, until she was straddling my lap and teasing those fancy nails over my belly.
“Take it off,” I whispered, causing her fingers to still at once.
Her gaze lifted to mine and then swung to the window that was responsible for letting all that morning light in.
I sat up so fast she startled on a sharp breath, and her hand shot to my shoulder.
“Let me see them one last time.” I nibbled at her neck, my words making her freeze twice as hard.
“Last time?” She sounded so small, I abandoned her neck, pecked her cheek, and claimed her mouth.
She didn’t kiss me back right away; it took a little coaxing.
“I’m going to leave you money to go buy your confidence, baby. I want you sitting proud when you’re on top of me. I don’t want to ever see you curl and hide. You were made to be seen, just like you were made to be mine.”
I wasn’t sure what she’d say. She sat quietly for a moment, before she reached down and grabbed the bottom of the shirt. She held my gaze and carefully stripped it over her wet hair.
“You’re beautiful the way you are,” I repeated what I’d surely already told her, while subtly rocking her over my length. “But I trust whatever masterpiece you craft for me will be…” I playfully bit her jaw and moaned beneath her ear.
I had to keep reminding myself not to suck and bite at her neck. It wasn’t easy, I couldn’t keep my mouth off her, and once I was inside her, I lost all reason. I didn’t give a fuck about her boss, checkout time, or the cellphone I hadn’t checked since I had her attention again.
It was reckless, but she was so addicting that I was past the point of holding anything back.
I didn’t even bother pulling out.
She was it for me. I’d made up my mind without even needing to think it over twice, but I could tell she was as nervous as she could be while reading that marriage license over an hour later.
Her hands shook as she double checked the information we’d given the clerk.
“Are you sure?” she whispered, her pen stilling over the place where she was meant to sign.
I placed a finger on the top of the document and slid it away from her. I plucked the pen from her hand and scribbled Anthony Travis Aviston. I jotted down my birthdate and placed my signature on the line.
She smiled, took the pen back and signed her name
“Everything seems to be in order, I’ll get this printed out for you and then you just have to wait twenty-four hours, and the rest is in your hands.” The clerk smiled.
Crystal nervously looked at me. I hooked my arm around her shoulder, before saluting the lady with my chin, “Great. Thanks.”
Crystal watched the lady closely as she typed the information into the computer and went to fetch the printout.
“Anthony,” Crystal whispered, drawing my attention back to her.
“What?” I smiled, amused by her bewildered expression.
“Anthony, this is real.”
“Hell, yeah, it is.” My grin broadened.
“All set,” the lady announced, as she crossed the room and held the document out.
“Appreciate ya.” I winked, taking it and steering my future wife toward the door.
She was tangling and untangling her fingers, with a distant look in her eye.
“Hey.” I curled her against my side and paused, once we exited the Sangamon County courthouse.
“Wh–what are we…? Where are we going to live?” She blinked
“In the house I’m going to buy.”
Her pretty, blue eyes focused on me, she wet her lips like she was about to say something profound, but nothing came out. She shifted her head in a nod, bit her lower lip, and started down the stairs.
“Babe.” I rushed after her.
She paused and looked up at me, her lower lip quivering as she let go of it and whispered, “Don’t fuck with me.”
My eyes tightened, not really understanding her upset, or the pain in her voice. I reached behind me and pulled the wad of borrowed money from my pocket. I slid a couple of hundred dollar bills out to get me through the week and wrestled with her to force the rest into the pocket of her sundress.
“I’m not fucking with you. You’re going to make your appointment and do whatever you need to feel confident in that wedding dress. I’m going to go speak to a realtor, and in a few days, we’ll do this.”
She blinked, and though no tears spilled, I noticed her wet lashes when she stopped resisting.
“I’ve never lived in a house.” Her lips twitched toward a smile that never bloomed. “That bedroom is probably the nicest thing I’ve ever laid my head in, even with the stress that comes with it.”
“You’re about to forget all of that. That’s not your life anymore. That’s not our life.” I felt the tension in her jaw when I slid my hands along either side of her face and kissed her.
I didn’t stop until I felt her completely relaxed. I kissed the tip of her nose, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead.
“You’re mine now.”