Chapter 25
SILAS
I return a few hours later, still sore from Oakley’s lovemaking and satisfied with the smell of copper fresh in my nose.
The bad man did not go down easy.
I like it when they struggle, but nothing prepared me for the ecstasy of killing someone after being murder-edged. It’s not a sexual high, but it is a full-body high, one I’ll be chasing from now on.
The condo is pitch black, and Oakley’s in my room, snoring away.
I can see just fine in the dark, and I stand at the doorway to my room for a few moments, staring at the love of my life.
His massive body is laid out, one arm over his head, one across his belly.
Soft and welcoming. I clean up and slip under the covers.
He shifts, pulling me into his arms, nuzzling my hair.
“Good kill?” he asks, voice so yummy and deep.
“Best kill of my life.”
Cherry Twist is a sweet horse, and I’m kneeling next to her, holding her hoof.
We breathe together, and it’s the closest thing I’ve had to a spiritual experience. Outside of murder, that is.
The Wild Heart Equine Center barn has always felt holy to me, though calling it a barn is kinda like calling the Sistine Chapel a church. Accurate, but not quite the whole story.
Even as a kid, I recognized that this barn, made of high-quality wood and soaring ceilings with offices that overlook an open paddock, was a special place.
Ant and Erik are off to the side, explaining to Oakley what I’m doing.
The barn door opens, and I hear two sets of footsteps.
“Why is Silas holding that horse’s foot?” Thane whispers, not realizing that sound carries in here.
I smile. It’s a common question in equine therapy circles.
Oakley answers. “Silas needed a little extra support after everything that happened. Ant was just explaining to me that in order to hold a horse like that, you have to calm yourself.”
“So…doing that teaches you how to regulate yourself?”
“Basically.”
I slowly let go of Cherry’s foot, patting her flank as I stand.
I take a deep breath, and I’m surprised to see Ronan has joined us. I stay where I am, not sure about the next move.
Erik gestures for me to join them.
“Are you sure it’s okay? I understand if it’s not.”
Ronan is the one who answers. “You can come over. I’m all right.” He lets out a breath. “Well, not all right, but…better.”
“Same.” I shrug. “I’m sure being attacked by someone who looks just like me is going to take a little while to get over.”
He and I had a moment on the rooftop, but I know things can change once the adrenaline settles. Oakley said he’s been having nightmares again.
Ronan sways a little, then shakes his head.
“I thought it might too. But…” He takes a beat.
Thane wraps his arm around his husband, and Ronan leans against him.
“Seeing your literal clone was…terrifying. And while you can be terrifying to the people we go after, you’ve done everything you could to be a safe and active member of this family.
I can’t imagine how much work it took for you to get to this point. ”
“A lot,” I admit. “I wish I didn’t need so much help.”
Ant clears his throat.
“But…I’m trying to accept that the people who love me were happy to do it.”
Erik narrows his eyes at me. “Finish the sentence.”
I blow out a raspberry. “Because I’ve done the hard work.”
My fathers smile, and Oakley winks at me.
“You have,” Thane says quietly. “And we’re sorry we didn’t see that before.”
My face flushes at the compliment, and I lower my chin.
Ronan approaches me. Despite the nice things he’s said, he still seems nervous.
Maybe we’re all trying to do the hard thing.
“Would you mind showing me how to hold her hoof?” he asks.
I look to Ant, who gestures for me to go ahead.
“Have you ever ridden a horse?” I ask.
Ronan nods. “I have. A little bit as a kid, and then we visited a local dude ranch last year.”
“So you understand how to approach a horse, right?”
Ronan gives a so-so gesture. “I know it’s about the energy. Like, if you come into the space with bad energy, a horse is gonna know it.”
“Exactly.” I shake out my hands, excited that he gets it.
I won’t tell him that, if this goes well, I’m probably going to have to kill someone later.
Focus, Sy.
“So, what I usually do before I interact with the horses is take a few deep breaths and center myself.”
I walk Ronan through all the steps, and he repeats a lot of what I say.
“You’re a really good student,” I say, leading him to Cherry Twist.
He sends me a kind smile. “Thanks. You’re a good teacher.”
Oakley’s hand goes to his mouth. He looks a little teary-eyed, but I think it’s a good thing.
Ronan kneels next to Cherry, and I guide him through taking her hoof in hand, then bending her leg back in a gentle stretch. He does this with his eyes closed, his mouth pressed in a line of concentration.
After a few moments, he looks up, surprised. “Why does this work so well? Like, I just felt my whole body relax.”
“It’s like you said. You have the right energy.”
“How though? How am I doing it?”
I look to Ant and Erik and raise my brows. Should I really explain this to him? Ant smiles and gestures for me to continue.
“It works because you are a predator, and she is a prey animal.”
“I’m a predator? She’s the one with the big teeth!” Ronan smiles as he says this, so I know he’s okay.
“True, but her teeth are only good for grains.” I think through what to say next. “And even though you aren’t her predator, your eyes face forward and you have sharp teeth. So Cherry understands what you are. At the same time, though, she can sense you won’t harm her, and she’s able to relax.”
Ronan nods. “That’s the energy, right?”
“Exactly.”
Ronan releases Cherry’s hoof and stands. Cherry shifts next to me and puts her head over my shoulder. I smile and hug her back.
“Is this who you go to now that Blueberry has passed?”
I shake my head. “This is one of their newer horses. I hadn’t met her before today. Now, I just go with whoever is available.”
Ronan takes this in, nodding to himself. “That guy, Blake… Cupcake had his number right away. I’m assuming Cherry wouldn’t have liked him either.”
“No, she wouldn’t have,” I say, running my hand down Cherry’s mane. “In fact, if you hadn’t had the lack of tattoos to go by, any horse would have outed him in two seconds.”
“So if a creature as gentle as a horse trusts you, I suppose that means I can trust you too.”
I rub my chest. “That’s one way to look at it.”
I look to the others, who all seem to be wiping their eyes. Oakley comes over and hugs his dad, then me.
“I did good?” I whisper.
He tightens his arms around me. “You did great.”
Our phones buzz simultaneously.
“Who’s that?” Oakley murmurs against my neck.
“It’s Mav, not Wimberley,” I answer, hoarse from screaming.
Oakley used the thickest metal sound on me last night. While rimming me.
I’m lucky I have any voice at all.
He blinks and checks the time. Nearly noon. “Damn, we slept in.”
“And whose fault is that?” I ask, elbowing him gently.
“You’re the one who did the fancy horse thing and made my dad fall in love with you.”
“Which is why you had to edge me, then put me in a cock cage, then force me to go find some asshole on my list to kill before I could get relief? That’s my fault?”
“I said what I said.”
I grin. Last night was the best night of my life.
“Fine,” I croak, then grab my phone.
Maverick: Wildlings assemble. The pool has been drained and refilled, and the rooftop has been washed down.
Maverick: We’re taking our space back.
Maverick: Bring your cookies.
Me: We’ll be up in a bit.
We rise slowly, stretching our aching muscles. Oakley caresses my face, kissing my forehead.
“You okay?” he asks, running his large, gentle hands over my shoulders, arms, hips, and ass.
“I’m perfect,” I say, leaning into him. “And I’m looking forward to spending time with family.”
We get dressed. I mix and put the cookies in the oven. Oakley comes up behind me, kissing the side of my head as I slip into my boat shoes. We slather each other in sunscreen, grab the cookies, and make our way upstairs.
I inhale sharply.
The entire rooftop is pristine, with power-washed decks and new furniture. I set the cookies down on one of the new tables.
The Wildlings are in the big, turquoise pool, and someone brought a bunch of hilarious floats.
Rami is lying on a shell-shaped floaty while Maverick and Maya are on matching flamingos and appear to be involved in some sort of race.
Holmes is floating serenely on a rainbow unicorn while Honoré is bopping around on a float shaped like a mechanical bull.
“Oh good, it’s that kind of pool party,” Oakley says, digging into the beach bag he brought up.
A few seconds later, he brings out a cigarette case. When he opens it, there are four perfectly rolled joints inside, along with a fancy-looking lighter.
Oh.
“I’ve never smoked weed before,” I say, eyeballing the large brontosaurus-shaped floaty bobbing off to the side.
Oakley stills. “Is this okay? You don’t have to.”
“It’s fine. Weed’s been legal for over a decade.”
He laughs. “Because you don’t like breaking the law.”
“Not when I don’t have to.” I point to the pool. “Dibs on the dinosaur.”
“It’s yours,” he says with a grin, grabbing my hand as we make our way to the pool.
I hop on the brontosaurus while Oakley gingerly mounts the balloon animal floaty.
He falls, and Rami cries out, “Save the weed!”
Thankfully, Oak manages to keep that hand above the water.
“Could use a little help here,” he grumps. Turns out, that requires helping myself to large handfuls of his ass, then dragging him around to the cousins to deliver their joints.
He lights one and hands it off to Maverick to share with Maya, then gives another to Rami, and the last one to Honoré, who takes a hit and hands it off to Holmes.
Oak holds up the final joint as I pull myself onto the brontosaurus. “Since you’re a virgin, want me to shotgun you?” he asks, grinning.