36. Vadim
36
VADIM
HOURS LATER
Lacey's gentle breathing fills the silence in my bedroom. Her blonde hair fans across my chest as she sleeps, one hand curled against my heart. The distant rising sun paints a pale dawn through the clouds.
My fingers trace idle patterns on her shoulder. Every touch reminds me of how she writhed beneath me, how she begged me to claim her, to mark her as mine.
To hurt her.
That word tears through me like a knife. I know what she truly wants—a way to forgive herself after what we'd done. She wants me to save her from the guilt with pain.
But I can't.
I've already stained her hands with blood. I've dragged her into a world where even breathing wrong could get her killed. The we she begged me to degrade her and use her is proof enough of how deeply I've already hurt her.
Lacey stirs slightly, pressing closer. Her lips part in a sigh that makes my chest ache. I want nothing more than to wake her with kisses, to lose myself in her warmth again.
To pretend, just for a moment, that I deserve the trust she's placed in me.
But I don't.
Because I'm Pyotr's son.
Everything I touch turns to ash eventually.
But I can't help the fierce protectiveness that surges through me as I hold Lacey against my chest. Her soft curves fit perfectly against my body, like she was made to be here. When I press my lips to her forehead, she smiles in her sleep, and my heart clenches.
This feels right. Too right.
I press my lips to her temple, breathing in the citrus-lavender scent of her hair. She deserves better than a man whose love is more dangerous than his hatred.
A warning voice screams in my head, reminding me of the danger.
Sayanaa is still out there, angry and vengeful. The shot that killed Irina was meant for Lacey. I'm sure of it. And more than anything, I'm sure that it was Sayanaa who pulled the trigger herself.
Getting close to Lacey now, letting myself feel this... it's selfish. Dangerous.
But I don't want to let her go. I can't let her go.
Her warm breath fans across my chest, and I memorize every detail, from the silky strands of her hair between my fingers, to the delicate flutter of her eyelashes, and count the gentle rise and fall of her chest against mine as the sky outside grows brighter.
I watch Lacey's eyes flutter open, still heavy with sleep. A soft smile curves her lips as she stretches against me like a contented cat..
"Hi," she whispers, voice husky.
All my dark thoughts evaporate. In this moment, there is only her radiance, her warmth, her inherent goodness that still remains in spite of the violence I've brought into her life.
My chest tightens as she gazes up at me with those amber-flecked eyes that hide nothing.
Her fingertips trace my jaw, feather-light. "You're thinking very loudly."
I capture her hand and press a kiss to her palm. "Not anymore."
She rises up to meet my lips in a gentle kiss that makes my breath catch. Her mouth is soft, yielding, yet there's an underlying heat that makes my blood surge. When her tongue teases the seam of my lips, I groan and pull her closer.
Her hand slides down my chest, leaving trails of fire in its wake. Lower and lower until her fingers wrap around my cock, coaxing it to hardness with practiced strokes. I break the kiss to catch my breath as pleasure ripples through me.
"Lacey..." Her name falls from my lips like a prayer.
Her hand tightens around me, and I groan as she strokes me to full hardness. I can’t help the way my hips buck into her touch, craving more. She shifts, her thighs straddling my hips, and I feel the heat of her against me. My hands grip her waist, but she slaps them away with a smirk.
“I told you last night,” she whispers, her voice low and teasing. She leans down, her lips brushing my ear. “I want to feel something.”
“Haven't you felt enough, zvyozdochka ?”
Her teeth sink into my neck, sharp and sudden. When she pulls back, her eyes are dark with desire.
“Not nearly enough."
Before I can respond, she sinks down onto me, taking me in one smooth motion. I groan, my head falling back against the pillow as she starts to move. She rides me fast, her hips rolling with a reckless abandon that leaves me breathless. Her hands brace against my chest, her nails digging into my skin as she leans down to bite my collarbone.
“Lacey,” I growl.
But she doesn’t slow down. Her teeth find my chest next, and I gasp, pain mingling with the pleasure in a way that drives me wild.
She’s relentless, her movements desperate, as if she’s trying to lose herself in this moment.
Her breath comes in short, sharp gasps, and I can feel her tightening around me. My hands move to her hips, and she slaps them away again.
“No,” she says, her voice firm. “I want to feel. Don't deny me this.”
I let her take control, my body surrendering to her rhythm. She bites my neck again, and I groan, my hands fisting in the sheets. Her pace quickens, and I can feel her trembling, her body on the edge.
My hand tangles in her hair, yanking her head back sharply. Her gasp is music to my ears.
"Is this what you wanted, zvyozdochka ?" I growl against her throat.
"Yes," she breathes, her hips stuttering for a moment before she finds her rhythm again. I match her movements, thrusting up into her as she rides me. My lips find her neck, teeth grazing the delicate skin. She shivers, her nails digging into my chest in retaliation.
I slap her ass hard, the sound echoing through the room. She moans, her pace faltering for a moment before she picks it up again, harder, faster. Her nails rake down my chest, leaving trails of fire in their wake.
My hand reaches up again, tangling in her hair and pulling her head back once more. Her eyes meet mine, dark with desire and something else—something raw and unfiltered.
"Tell me what you want," I demand, my voice rough.
"You," she gasps, her hips rolling against mine. "Just you."
I kiss her hard, swallowing her moans as she rides me. Her nails dig into my shoulders, and I relish the pain, knowing she does too. Our movements become frantic, desperate, as we chase the release that’s just out of reach.
In one swift motion, I flip us over, pinning Lacey beneath me without breaking our connection. Her back hits the mattress, and I trap her wrists above her head. Her chest heaves, her lips swollen from my kisses, and eyes dark with need.
"Is this what you were looking for, zvyozdochka ?" I growl, my voice low and rough.
Her answer comes in the form of her teeth sinking into my lower lip, sharp and demanding. I groan, the sting only fueling the fire burning through me. I thrust into her harder, deeper, my pace relentless. Her back arches off the bed, and she lets out a scream that echoes through the room.
Her legs wrap around my waist, pulling me closer, urging me on. Her nails dig into my wrists, and I can feel her trembling beneath me, her body tightening around me as she teeters on the edge.
"Look me in the eyes when you cum inside me,” she commands, her voice breathless but firm.
I pause for a moment, my hips stilling as I stare down at her. "Do you think you have the right to command a pakhan?" I ask, my voice a dangerous whisper.
Her answer is immediate. She tightens her legs around me, her hips rolling as she retakes control. Her movements are desperate, demanding, and I can’t help but groan as she fucks me back with a ferocity that leaves me breathless.
Her eyes lock with mine, unyielding, and I can feel myself coming undone inside of her again. But she doesn't stop, and keeps up her relentless rhythm until she pulls me down into her and—screaming—takes every drop I have left to give.
When I finally prop myself back up on my elbows, and brush a strand of hair from her face, she looks at me seriously, amber-flecked eyes flashing in the morning light.
"Vadim..." she begins, her voice husky. "I?—"
I shake my head, my thumb brushing her swollen lower lip.
"Don't, zvyozdochka . Don't."
I know what she wants to say. I want to say it, too.
But she can't. I can't.
I can't let her fall deeper into this hell I've dragged her into.