8. Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight
Inessa
V iktor and I dance around each other for days. Neither one of us looks at the other one directly. At least, not when the other one is looking.
I’ll find myself turning in Viktor’s direction and seeking him out whenever he’s in the room but the moment he turns towards me, I look away. But I have caught him looking at me before he turns away himself.
This goes on for a few days before Mrs. Green confronts me about it.
“You and Mr. Smirnov. Did something happen?”
The memory of him looking at me in my bra makes my stomach flutter. I want him to touch me like he did that day in his office. But he pulled away before anything could really happen.
As a Bratva daughter, I was taught to wait for my wedding night but my feelings don’t care about that. I’ll never marry a Bratva man with the lack of connections I have so I’m not sure that it matters if I’m a virgin or not.
The only thing that I need to worry about is the fact that if I give my heart to Viktor, he’ll break it.
“No,” I say on instinct.
Mrs. Green’s expression tells me she doesn’t believe me one bit. “Then why are you two acting strange? I know something is going on. I haven’t lived on this earth for fifty years to not notice something. I’m not na?ve, Inessa. What happened?”
I brush past her as I head into the laundry room. I clench my eyes shut when I think of Natasha pressing a knife to my throat in here. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I have to be.
“Nothing happened.”
She grabs my hand, stopping me from pulling the laundry out. “You’re lying. I can tell. You’re not very good at it.”
I’m a much better liar than she thinks I am.
Viktor still doesn’t know who I really am and that’s another reason I can never be with him. If he knew my father tried to kill him and I never said anything, he might think I infiltrated his home to hurt him for my father. I’m in too deep and I can’t come out of it now.
“Mrs. Green, nothing is happening between Viktor and myself. I would never do that.”
“I should hope so. But it’s not you I’m worried about. It’s him. He’s the one with all the power. He could take advantage of you.”
I tug my arm away and start pulling the sheets out of the dryer. “I didn’t know you cared that much about me.”
“Don’t be na?ve, girl. Of course I care about you. You’re the only person I talk to all day. You’re young. I don’t want to see you get used by him. Now, I think Mr. Smirnov is a good man. A successful, powerful one. I hope he doesn’t do anything to hurt you. But I am worried.”
“I don’t think Viktor will.”
“Mr. Smirnov,” she corrects.
“I really need this job, Mrs. Green. I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize it.”
“I know.” Her eyes turn soft for a moment, showing that she does indeed care for me. Then they turn hard as she nods at the laundry basket. “Finish those soon.”
Some things never change.
Viktor
Mrs. Green knocks on my open office door. “Can I come in, sir?”
“Of course.” I lean back in my seat as she shuffles in, a worried expression on her face. “Are you all right?”
“I am, sir. But there’s something I wanted to talk with you about.”
“Yes?”
“You and Inessa.”
At the mention of Inessa’s name, I feel my body tense. I can’t get the memory of her half naked body out of my mind. She’s a beautiful woman and it’s incredibly distracting. But she can’t be mine. I was taught by my parents to marry a Bratva woman of good standing. To marry for connections. To marry for power.
If I pursue Inessa, I won’t gain any of that.
That’s why I need to find a way to make it work with Natasha, even if she does fucking annoy me sometimes.
“What about Inessa?”
Mrs. Green sighs. “I think you know.”
“You’re being bold.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just… she’s an innocent, young woman. I don’t want to see her abused.”
“I would never hurt her.”
“I don’t mean abused in that way. I mean an abuse of power. You have the power to hurt her, sir. And I don’t want to see that happen. So, I know it’s not my place, but I am asking you to leave her alone.” When she unclasps her hands, I can see how red and white they are from how hard she was holding on.
My instinct is to snap at Mrs. Green and tell her it’s none of her business but she’s right. If I were to go after Inessa, the only person who would get hurt is her.
I wouldn’t get hurt since I’ve closed off my heart a long time ago.
But I feel it cracking now… for Inessa. And that’s a problem. But it’s also a problem that she’s so close to me and yet I can’t touch her. I fucking want her so bad.
“I hear you, Mrs. Green,” I manage to say. “Now, you may leave.”
“Yes, sir.” She scurries out of the room. She was just doing her job, I remind myself. Mrs. Green obviously cares for Inessa and I can’t fault her for that.
I care for Inessa too.
I need to find a way to get her out of my system but all I want is to be around her.
My eyes land on the tickets to the botanical garden I had bought for me and Natasha. They’re expired by now, never used, because Natasha didn’t want to go in.
But I have a feeling that Inessa would love the gardens.
I want to do something nice for her, which is out of character for me. I never do nice things for people unless it’s my sister and even then, I don’t do as much as I should for Julia.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I go online and buy another set of tickets for the botanical gardens.
Inessa
The day is finished. The house is sparkling. And I’m exhausted.
So, I’m surprised when I get a knock on my bedroom door. I open it to see Viktor on the other side.
“Sir.” I feel the urge to curtsey like I’m in an old romance novel.
“Inessa, I wanted to ask you if you would join me to the botanical gardens tomorrow. It’s your day off.”
My heart skips a beat. It’s foolish. Viktor is a dangerous man. He’s not someone my heart should be skipping a beat for. “Like… a date?”
His brow furrows. “More like two friends spending time together. That’s allowed.”
“You make the rules,” I whisper, clutching the doorknob tight in my hand.
“I do make the rules, don’t I? You don’t have to go with me. You won’t be punished for it.”
“I want to go,” I blurt out. Spending the day with Viktor? Stupid of me to do but god, do I want it.
“Great. We’ll go around ten in the morning before it gets too hot outside.”
“Ok.”
Viktor’s eyes rake me over and it doesn’t bother me one bit. I’m not wearing anything revealing – just a simple pajama top and bottoms – but Viktor makes me feel naked before him.
“I should leave you be for the night,” he practically growls. I shiver.
“Yes.”
With a sharp inhale, he walks away. For just a moment, I thought he would push my door in and have his way with me. I would let him. God, this is all kinds of messed up.
The botanical gardens are a stunning sight. Flowers in all different shades of color. All different types. It’s a cacophony of beauty.
“You’ve never been?” he asks as we walk along a path inside a large glass dome. Flowers surround us, making it feel like we’re alone, even though other people are nearby.
“Never had the money,” I admit.
“It’s only thirty dollars for one ticket.”
“When you need to spare those thirty dollars for food, something like this isn’t important.”
Viktor averts his gaze. “I apologize. I forgot.”
“It’s ok. I take it you’ve always had money?”
“You would be right. Money is second nature to me. My parents were rich and they taught me how to handle it and I’ve made my own success over the years.”
“Through the Russian Mafia,” I whisper, leaning down to smell one of the flowers.
“Yes,” he says gruffly. “Does that bother you?”
“Why would it matter if it bothers me? I’m just your maid.”
“Right. Of course.”
We stare at each other a moment – both of us wanting to say so much and yet we know we can’t.
We keep walking.
“It doesn’t bother me,” I say.
Viktor looks at me sharply. “I would imagine that would bother most people. Scare them too.”
“I guess I’m not like most people.” More like I was raised in the Bratva so I understand.
“That could get you in danger.”
“You said you’d protect me, didn’t you?”
His lips twitch. “I did say that. And I meant it.” He grabs my arm gently and tugs me to a quieter corner of the room. “Inessa, I need you to know what kind of life I live. It’s dangerous. It’s not something to be made lightly of.”
“Was I making light of it?”
“No. But you don’t seem to understand the dangers I’m in. I’m at war with another Bratva man. It could get more ugly than it already has.”
“Then why hire a maid at all?”
“You weren’t the maid I was supposed to hire.”
I tense. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you tricked me. I told you that another woman applied for the job.”
“I know.”
“And I know that you seized an opportunity and I don’t blame you for that. But you were not the one I was supposed to hire. I wasn’t supposed to care for you at all.”
I suck in a breath. “You care for me?”
“I shouldn’t say things like that.”
“But you did.” My fingers itch to touch his chest but I hold them back.
“I know I did.” His grip on my arm tightens. “Fuck, if you knew the things you were doing to me…”
“What things?”
“You’re so innocent. It’s not my place to ruin you.”
“You’re my boss.” I tell him this more for myself. I need to remember what kind of danger I’m in. Viktor will kill me if he knows the truth. The only reason he’s been so kind with me is because he thinks I’m a young innocent, destitute woman in need of help.
While all of those things are true, the reality is I’m not innocent. The lies I’m keeping make me not innocent.
“I know,” he says. “I know I’m your boss. I never should have invited you to come here with me.”
“So why did you?”
“I invited Natasha here and she didn’t want to go in. I thought it would be nice to come here with someone who appreciates things like this and you seemed like a woman who would appreciate it.”
“I do appreciate it.”
“I can tell.” His eyes flick down to my lips and back up to my eyes.
“Are you going to marry her?” The question is out before I can stop it.
“Inessa.”
“I need to know. Whatever this is…” I wave a hand between us. “It can’t happen if you’re going to marry someone else. I will not be involved in that. I have too much self-respect.”
“That only makes me like you more,” he admits.
“Viktor,” I say softly. “I need to know.”
“Natasha… is a means to an end. She’s the woman I need to marry if I want more connections within the mafia. It’s purely political.”
“So, you’re going to marry her.”
“I’m not sure.”
His admission catches me off guard. “You’re not?”
“I was set on marrying Natasha. But that was before…” His fingers brush my own.
“Before?”
“Before I met you.”
My legs almost buckle. How dare he say these things to me. I’m too weak to resist.
“Viktor.”
“I like the way you say my name.”
“Viktor.”
“Like you want me.” He settles his hands on my hips. I inch closer to him. No one can see us hidden behind all of these flowers and trees. It’s our own forbidden world.
“I want to keep my job.”
“I know. I would never fire you, Inessa. You won’t be punished for this.”
“We shouldn’t do this.”
“We keep saying that, don’t we?” He presses his forehead to mine. “Fuck, you smell good. You make me feel unhinged. Why?”
“I don’t know.”
His lips twitch. “So innocent. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to involve any emotion into this.”
“This?”
“A relationship. I’ve been burned in the past. It’s easier to not care at all.”
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship.”
“Fuck,” he says in a low voice that sends shivers down my spine. I’m desperate for him to pull me in closer. “You can’t say those things to me.”
“Why not?”
“It only makes me want you more. You’re untouched. You don’t know what that does to a man like me.”
He’s right. I don’t know. But I want to find out – and yet that’s the last thing I can want. I am playing a dangerous game getting this close to Viktor. It was never my intention. I really was just looking for a job.
My hands grip his strong arms. “Viktor.”
“You need to stop saying my name like that or I’ll push you against that tree and have my way with you.”
I gasp. “I’m a virgin.”
“I know. Have you ever been kissed, Inessa?”
I know I shouldn’t tell him. But I do. “No. I’ve never been…”
“Fuck. You’re not allowed to be this perfect. So sweet and innocent. I can’t want you. I’m supposed to marry a Bratva woman with good connections. That’s what I am supposed to do.” It’s like he’s trying to convince himself of that.
“I’m not that.” It’s a half-truth. It feels better than a full lie.
“I know.”
“But you have money. Connections. Do you need more?”
“If I want to win this war against Erik Koslov, then yes. I need more.” Yet, he doesn’t move away from me.
I don’t move away from him either.
This connection between us is a powerful thing. Neither of us saw it coming.
“Don’t use me,” I whisper.
“I don’t want to. You deserve more than to be my mistress.”
“So we shouldn’t do this.” I’m practically begging him. If we do this, it will hurt more when he marries Natasha. I don’t feel bad for her if Viktor cheats on her. She’s done nothing but terrible things to me.
But I don’t want to drag Viktor into the muck by cheating. Even though Natasha is a terrible person, starting a marriage off with cheating is never a good thing.
“We shouldn’t,” he agrees.
There’s a beat between us for just a moment…
Before his lips find mine.
The kiss is tender and passionate and perfect. It’s everything I could have hoped for in a first kiss. Viktor’s hands on my waist tighten as he pulls me flush against his body. I can feel every hard ridge of him.
My own hands grasp his jacket. I need something to steady me. I’m kissing the man who tried to kill my father. Who my father tried to kill first.
My first kiss is with a dangerous man who has the power to end my life.
Why can’t I stop this?
I have over seven thousand dollars saved now, from not having to pay for food or rent. It’s enough to afford rent somewhere for a few months. Enough to afford food for a few months.
But then what? No other job will pay me this well. Not with my limited work experience.
And if I left, it would mean leaving Viktor behind and now that we’ve kissed, I can’t imagine that. It hurts my soul.
Viktor kisses me harder before he lets me go. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Ok,” I say breathlessly.
His hand completely engulfs mine as we leave the botanical gardens. Viktor doesn’t stop touching me as we drive back home. His hand is still on mine as he takes me into his office. I know he doesn’t go to my room or his: Mrs. Green will have too many questions. If we’re in his office, she’ll think we’re just talking.
I hope so anyway. I don’t need her to judge me for being a fool right now. I’m too caught up in this moment to care about any future outcomes.
Viktor presses me against his desk and kisses me with so much passion, I could pass out. I feel powerless to stop this.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since I first touched you here,” he growls, pushing my skirt up and placing his palm over my panties. I gasp. “I want to be the first man to touch you here. The only man to ever touch you.”
“But-,”
“No buts.” He rips my panties down before I can even react. Cool air brushes my skin. I shiver.
“Sit on the desk,” he orders, already lifting me up and placing me there. He spreads my legs and cups me between my thighs. I blush when I feel a wetness seep out of me. I haven’t had the chance to experience much arousal in my life. I’ve been too stressed after losing my mom and then my dad’s spiral into gambling. Arousal was the last thing on my mind.
Now, it’s the only thing on my mind.
Viktor begins to rub his palm against me. With every motion, I feel a spike of pleasure hit me. My sensitive nub is being touched and it’s too much. It’s a sensation I’ve never fully experienced before. The touch of another person.
The touch of a man.
“I need to taste you,” he growls, and before I know it, he’s on his knees before me. This powerful Bratva man who could have any woman in this world and he’s choosing me.
“Viktor,” I gasp when he spreads my legs wider. I can’t believe I’m letting this happen. But it feels too good to stop.
He presses his face between my legs and licks right up my slit. The gasp that escapes me is loud. What if Mrs. Green hears? What if she comes barging in and sees this happening?
Viktor runs his tongue along my folds and nub, making me shiver. My hips have a mind of their own as they buck against him.
We find a perfect rhythm as he pleasures me with his mouth and I rock my hips forward. It’s a give and take.
Never in my life would I have imagined this would be happening, especially with Viktor Smirnov. I remember hearing stories of him from Elena. How he was stern and cold but was a gentleman enough. I know he’s dangerous. I know he can be kind. I know he has a hold over me that I can’t seem to shake.
I moan as I drop my head back.
I may be untouched but I’ve read my fair share of romance novels. I know what happens in the bedroom. Or in this case, the office.
I’m not completely taken surprise by this act but more so by the fact that it’s actually happening.
Viktor grips my thighs and presses his face harder between my legs. His hair tickles my inner thighs. A low growl escapes him. The sound only turns me on more.
“You taste so fucking good.” His tongue finds my clit and he pleasures it perfectly. It doesn’t escape my notice how good he is at this. I wonder how many woman he’s done this to.
I push that from my mind. No. I can’t worry about that.
This moment is between Viktor and I. I will not allow any other person to enter it.
My hands drop to the desk to steady myself. We’re not being quiet: from the sounds leaving my throat to the thud of the desk on the ground. My hips are rocking fast against his face but Viktor doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seems to like it a lot judging by how he increases the pace of his tongue.
“Oh!” I cry out. Something is building inside of me. Something I’ve never felt before.
Viktor catches my eyes as he pleasures me with his mouth. It’s intense and intimate. A blush forms on my face and neck, yet that doesn’t stop me from enjoying this.
“Come for me,” he says before licking over my folds.
I lose it.
I let the building sensation wash over me and I gasp when I come. I’ve read about orgasms before but to experience one is an entirely new thing. Instantly, I slump against the desk, too tired to hold myself up.
Viktor kisses along my inner thigh before he stands up and rakes his eyes over me. “You look perfect like this. Spread out on my desk, having just been eaten out. You’re glowing.”
Self-consciously, I close my legs and sit up. “Viktor.”
“I know. We shouldn’t have done that.” He cups my face. “No man has ever done that to you?”
“You know that.”
“I just wanted to hear you say it.”
“No man has ever done this to me,” I whisper. “You’re the first.”
“Good.” Then he kisses me. I can taste myself on his lips. It’s not unpleasant.
My knee brushes against his hips where I feel something hard. I jerk back and look down at his waist. Of course. His erection.
“Do you…” I nod towards his waist.
“You’ve never kissed a man before today. I doubt you’ve touched a man’s cock before.”
“I haven’t.”
“I don’t want to frighten you. And if I’m being honest, if I take my cock out, I might not be able to stop myself from fucking you, and there’s no going back from that.”
“So what are you saying?”
He sighs, then kisses my forehead. “We should stop. We’ve already gone too far. If we go further, I’ll fuck you right on this desk, and your first time shouldn’t be like this.”
“Don’t I get a say?”
“Do you want me to fuck you on my desk?”
It’s a little tempting but I know it’s not what I truly want. “No.”
“I thought so.” His kiss is tender. It’s over too soon. “You deserve a bed and candles and flowers and all of that shit.”
“I’m just a maid. I’m not some fine lady.”
“You sell yourself short, Inessa.”
“But we can’t be together,” I say.
His eyes darken. “You’re right. We can’t.”
But still, neither of us move away.
A knock on the door makes us scramble apart.
“Just a minute,” Viktor snaps, helping me with my underwear. I slide off the desk and right my skirt while Viktor readjusts himself. “What, Mrs. Green?”
She opens the door and her surprise is evident when she sees me. “Uh… sir, I just wanted to let you know that Miss Morozov is here to see you.”
Natasha. She’s here again.