19. Chapter 19
Jinx
After a vigorous ride on Waffle this morning, I step into the sauna, where Tink and Foxy are already warming their bodies after their morning chores.
The sauna was in bad shape when we moved in, but Julien had it fixed up.
Now, we can barely live without it during the winter months, warming us to the bone.
With only a towel wrapped around me, I step inside. I’m slammed face-first into a heat that makes you gasp for air, especially against the freezing temperatures outside.
Tink has his feet up on the teak bench, leaning against Foxy’s chest with his eyes closed. When they open, he shoves back his wet blond bangs, smiles brightly, and sits next to me.
“Hey!”
“Hey, guys.”
Foxy just nods my way.
Tink reminds me a bit of Aleks with his sweetness and easy smiles, but he’s easily triggered and freaks out all the time. They’re both currently deep in therapy.
Working on the ranch has helped them a lot, giving them purpose, a home, and a family. Hell, we all have a purpose and direction now.
Foxy is very angry and closed off, even more than I am. He’ll do anything for Tink. Very protective.
And like me, they kept their hooker names because they haven’t looked at the files we stole from Tito’s office yet. I wish I hadn’t looked at mine, either. It was better not knowing where I came from, but it was also a compulsion I couldn’t stop.
Foxy watches us like a hound as Tink starts chatting.
“How’s the new boyfriend?”
“He’s hardly a boyfriend.”
He rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. How’s your hot daddy?”
“Mason’s good. I like him. More than I thought I would.”
So much more than I’ll tell Tink. Once Mason told me his story, our connection became clear.
He holds all that guilt inside, just like I do.
He needs me as much as I need him. It was hard to tell at first because he’s so confident and self-assured, our dynamic feeling a little unbalanced.
But Mason’s more put-together than I am, mentally.
I also trust him more than ever now. We both know stories about each other that no one else does.
It’s our little secret because only we understand.
It’s the first time in my life that I’ve truly understood and connected to someone. He really sees me, and I see him. I don’t have to put on a mask. I don’t have to pretend. All he gives me in return is understanding and patience. It’s fucking freeing.
Tink winks at me. “We’re all in love, but you. It’s your turn.”
I’m not sure it’s love I need. I like what I have with Mason, and I’m definitely starting to feel things for him, still…
I stare down at my hands and shrug. After all my failed attempts at love, I’m reluctant to try again.
When you’ve been dumped as much as I have, your ego slams face-first into a wall.
It’s demoralizing, and I’m tired of chasing happiness.
Being with Mason has solved all that, and I can just let go and let him do most of the work.
At the same time, his story holds me back. I think he chose wrongly, but what do I know? I wasn’t in his shoes. Still, I don’t want to be turned away again. I don’t want to get attached only for him to end things when he gets scared or nervous.
“I’m not sure love is for me,” I finally say. Maybe I don’t deserve it, either. I don’t believe in fate, but perhaps I’m wrong, and there’s something to it. What if life is punishing me for what I did to Aleks?
Tink scoots closer and wraps an arm around me. “Don’t be silly. Love is for everyone.”
Foxy growls, and Tink quickly removes his arm.
I glance at him as he slides back to Foxy. Like me, he has a scarred back. Tito sure did love to punish his boys. We all took care of each other as much as possible during that time. I think that’s the only thing that kept us all going.
Tink kisses his boyfriend’s cheek. “Sorry, baby.”
I look away from their affection and pour some more water on the hot rocks. Steam sizzles and billows through the small room.
“Say,” Tink starts, “I’ve been meaning to ask… What’s with the new necklace and bracelets? You’ve never been a jewelry guy.”
I shrug and play with the ring dangling from my chain. How can I explain that I’m Mason’s sub? They wouldn’t understand my willingness to subjugate myself after all we’ve been through. They wouldn’t understand how it’s not a prison but freedom. It’s different. Mason is not fucking Tito.
I shrug, but don’t look at them. “I saw them and liked them.”
Foxy scoffs at me. “Liar. I know what those are.”
I glare at him, my defensive hackles rising. “So? It’s my life. Drop it.”
“What is it?” Tink asks.
“It’s nothing. Leave me alone.”
Foxy kisses Tink’s head while staring at me with eyes that match his coppery hair. I squirm, but his boyfriend distracts him with kisses.
Once they start making out, I’m done. “See ya. Gotta get ready to head out.”
“Bye,” Tink says, waving.
I ignore them both and leave, filled with guilt again. Guilt for lying and being a dick. We were close back when we were hookers. I rub my face and growl at myself before I get dressed and head back to my place to pack for the weekend.
Mason opens his front door with a massive smile on his face that I can feel straight to my soul. It hits me hard how handsome he is.
“What?” I ask.
He takes my arm and drags me inside. When I drop my overnight bag, he lifts me off my feet and holds me.
“What’s this for?” I chuckle. He’s being ridiculous, but I secretly like it.
“I’m proud of you. You did everything I told you to do this week. As a reward, I’m taking you on a special date.”
“A date?”
Mason sets me back on my feet and rubs my arms. “Yes. It’s all arranged. Did you bring something nice to wear as I asked?”
I nod and open my coat to show him my button-up and sweater.
“Excellent. So handsome. You always look amazing in blue, Precious.”
I’m still getting used to his pet names, but hell, calling him ‘Daddy’ still feels weird as fuck.
“What are we doing tonight?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
He takes my hand and tugs me up the stairs to his bedroom. “Let me quickly change clothes.”
I sit on the edge of his bed and watch him strip down to nothing but his underwear, muscles under tanned skin flex. He’s definitely the hottest guy I’ve ever been with. And the nicest.
Mason slides on a burgundy dress shirt. The color looks fantastic on him. He also throws on a V-neck sweater in the same color. We both wear jeans, so I’m assuming the place is nice but not fancy.
He fingers his waves and smiles at me. “Ready to go?”
“Yep.”
“Bring your bag with you. We’ll be there all weekend.”
Now, I’m really curious.
After he spritzes my favorite cologne on himself, we head out.
An hour later, I’m staring out the window of a covered snowcat, slowly driving along, high up in the mountains where there’s still snow.
The air is a little thinner up here, but the view is fantastic.
It’s sunny, and it’s setting down along the San Juan Mountains, casting a golden hue that surrounds us.
“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” Mason says, taking my hand and kissing it.
Our driver ignores us as I lean forward and kiss Mason’s cheek. He smiles so sweetly, almost shyly. What’s gotten into him? Whatever it is makes my heart race, and I’m not sure why.
“You feeling okay?” I tease, pressing the back of my hand to his forehead as if checking for a fever.
He laughs and holds me close. “Never better. I think once my story finally got out, I just feel… I don’t know.”
“Freer?”
He looks at me and nods. “Yeah. Free… I think that sums it up quite nicely. For the longest time, I had this invisible noose around my neck after Jude. But then, this beautiful wreck of a man came literally crashing into my life.” He winks at me and pulls me close against him.
I smirk and roll my eyes. “Please, it was you who crashed into me, thank you very much.”
“All true!”
I rest my head on his shoulder, unable to stop smiling, watching the scenery slowly go by as we start to descend toward the ski resort.
When we arrive, we step out into the cold and walk into the resort’s restaurant. Mason takes my hand as we head toward our reserved table.
“They have a gourmet tasting menu tonight, paired with drinks. You can opt out of the drinks, but I’ve given your age as twenty-two. They shouldn’t card you,” he says, pulling out the chair for me to sit.
When he sits next to me, I lean close and whisper, “What a bad daddy you are.”
He chuckles. “Indeed. I shouldn’t, but I wanted you to enjoy the full experience tonight. It’s only a tasting of wine that’s paired with each dish. Barely a couple of sips each.”
I hold his hand under the table and look at him. “Thank you for this,” I say. I struggle with gratitude a lot. Those words are hard for me to say, but I am grateful to everyone around me, even if I don’t tell them.
“You’re welcome, my pet.”
Mason puts his lips near my ear and tugs on the ring around my neck. “You will go into the restroom, remove your underwear, return to the table, and hand them to me.”
My dick instantly gets on board.
“Yessir.”
I head toward the restroom, lock myself in a stall, and remove my pants. I hang them up and remove my underwear. After I slide my pants back on, I shove my boxer briefs into my pocket.
My jeans are loose-fitting, so I’m just dangling there. I head back and slip him the briefs under the table, where he shoves them into his pocket.
He kisses my temple. “Good job. So obedient.” The thought of him holding my underwear, touching them in public, sends a wave of arousal through me enough to make me shudder.
Our server steps up to our table and goes over the menu for the night, explaining we have a choice of five dishes, but I’m not listening as Mason rests his palm between my legs underneath my napkin.
I’m hard as a rock. Doing this in public is risky, but hot, like Mason is willing to do anything just to touch me. I feel wanted and desired.
He orders for us, and I’ll eat whatever they bring us. I have no say in what I eat when I’m with him. He takes absolute care of me in all ways. So far, Mason has protected me physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, so why does it also scare me?
Loss. I don’t ever want to lose this.
Our first dish is ahi tuna. It’s got a bunch of sauces and shit on it. The server explained it all, but I tuned her out. Mason forks some of the fish and brings it to my mouth. I take a bite, and it just melts on my tongue. Sesame oil, ginger, and soy sauce burst in my mouth.
“That’s really good,” I say, washing it down with some white wine that was paired with it.
“I’m glad you like it.” He takes a bite and wipes his face with a napkin. “So, how’s therapy going, Jinx?”
“Fine, I guess.”
“It doesn’t sound fine.”
I sigh, and I take another bite of the fish. “It’s just that she’s telling me the same old sh—stuff I already know, and things to do to help. It’s boring.”
“Is it boring, or are you clinging to your ways?” Mason leans in close to my ear. “You can be quite stubborn.”
I smile softly. “You’re not wrong. I dunno… I get more out of what we’re doing than I have with therapy. It makes me feel good, and surprisingly in control.”
“I’m glad you’re getting something out of this, my pet, but I’d like you to keep up with your therapy. What we do is far from a cure or treatment.”
“Yeah, okay. Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure.”
“It’s just that therapy bums me out, and I want to have a nice night.”
Before we can say more, an older man of about seventy or so steps up to our table and eyes us carefully. “Mr. Vitali?”
“Yes?”
“I… I, ah, recognized you and thought… Ah, I’d stop by to say hello. My wife and I, uhm, eat at your restaurant all the time. I’m Sam Bush.”
My face burns, not from embarrassment but from irritation. I’m almost certain he came over to see who this new person Mason’s with, no doubt forming baseless opinions. Nosy fucker.
Mason stands and shakes his hand. “Nice to see you, Mr. Bush.”
The man’s eyes keep pinging to me, filled with curiosity. You can see him just itching to ask about me.
“This is Jinx,” Mason says, introducing us.
Mr. Bush doesn’t even attempt to shake my hand. He looks at me, squirming. Jesus, fuck. Just leave already, asshole. You know he’s got opinion after useless opinion swirling around in that dense brain of his.
“Ah, hello,” he finally says.
When I say nothing, not taking my eyes off him, he squirms again and focuses on Mason only. “So, are you two… ah… How do I—”
“Let me stop you right there,” I say. “We’re talkin’ business here. Horse training. I’m from Sugar-Sweet Ranch. We’re also trying to enjoy our very nice meal. Do you mind?”
Mason sits and squeezes my knee, but he doesn’t reprimand me. Screw this old dude.
“Oh, yes… uhm, apologies.”
He scampers off and sits at a table with his wife, who scolds him, judging by the look on her face.
“What a nosy prick,” I say.
While I’m irritated, it also brings up a new concern. Maybe not new. We’ve talked about it, but now that I’m face-to-face with people full of shit and curiosity they don’t deserve, it puts things into perspective.
“Yes, I suppose he’ll run back to town and talk about what he saw here.”
“He’s an asshole.”
“Well, that’s the risk I have to take by bringing you out in public like this.”
It’s not fair. We should be able to have a relationship. So what if he’s older? But I also don’t want him risking his business.
“You don’t have to take me out again. It’s fine. You also don’t need to tell them we’re together or show… you know. Just worry about the restaurant. I’m fine.”
Mason takes my hand and forks our fingers together under the table. “That’s not how this works, Jinx. If we’re together, then we’re together. I’m going to do right by you. No hiding. I don’t owe these people any explanation.”
My cold fucking heart swells. I think that’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.
“You say that now until people stop coming to your restaurant and you lose money.”
“I know you’re trying to be thoughtful, my pet, but don’t worry about me. Most of my money comes from tourism, anyway, not from the locals.”
“Talk is talk. I’ve quickly learned how small towns operate since living here.”
“I’m not hiding you. That’s final,” he says in a tone that tells me to drop it.
He’s done so much for me. Maybe I can’t be all sweet and shit, but I can definitely help protect him, as he protects me. I won’t let anyone hurt my Mason, my Dom. Screw them.