8. Lincoln
8
LINCOLN
My words echoed in my head on the way home. “I don’t ever want a woman to feel powerless because of me.” But I knew the truth beneath the statement.
I didn’t want to be my father.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter and headed back to Cope’s property. I’d caught sight of Arden on my way out, moving around the ring with Kye. She was good. Better than good. Probably could’ve worked her way into the professional circuit if she had half a mind.
Her movements were like the rest of her: brash and bold, never coloring between the lines. It was fucking hypnotizing. Which was why I just kept walking. Out the door and behind the wheel of my Range Rover I’d driven down from Seattle.
I rolled the windows down, hoping the fresh air would turn around my completely sour mood. It didn’t. All I could think about were the people about to lose their jobs simply because my father had wanted to make a point. Wanted me to bend to his will.
But that was always his way. Philip Pierce needed to know that he could break every single person in his orbit. That he could control them like a master puppeteer.
I pulled to a stop in front of Cope’s house, taking in the gorgeous blend of wood, stone, and glass. I didn’t miss how both the wood and stone had the same reddish-gold hue as Castle Rock to the west. Turning off the engine, I slid out and headed inside.
Angry energy still hummed in my muscles. The sparring had helped, but maybe not enough. Just as I thought about going for a swim, my phone rang.
I pulled it out of the pocket of my joggers and grinned when I saw Ellie’s face on the screen. The photo showed her with a ridiculous expression, sticking her tongue out to one side while crossing her eyes.
I tapped the screen and accepted the video call. “Hey, El Bell.”
She made a face. Not quite as extreme as her contact picture, but annoyed little sister through and through. “I know how to play that game, ConCon.”
I chuckled at the old nickname. At thirty-seven, I was eleven years older than Ellie. And when she started speaking, she couldn’t quite wrap her tongue around Lincoln, opting for ConCon instead. Mom thought it was adorable. Dad despised it, expecting his daughter to have a perfect grasp of the English language from birth.
“How are you?” I asked, walking through the foyer and into the open living space.
“Pretty good,” she said, running her hand through her long hair. Everything about Ellie was lighter than me. Her hair was a mix of light brown and blond, her eyes were a pale green that almost looked gray in some light, and her skin was just a few shades fairer. “What about you? How’s life in the middle of nowhere?”
One corner of my mouth kicked up as I pulled one of the sliders open and stepped out onto the back patio. “See for yourself.”
I flipped the camera around so she could see everything I was looking at. Cope had made the outdoor portion of his massive spread a showpiece. The terraced patio had three levels. An outdoor eating area with a firepit and lounge seating up top, a second level with an array of gardens, and a third with a stunning pool that melded into the natural landscape beyond.
Ellie’s lips parted on a gasp. “Look at those mountains. Toto, you are not in Kansas anymore.”
“No, I’m not,” I said as I moved to sit on the outdoor sofa and flipped the camera back to me.
Ellie stared at me for a moment, studying my face intently. “You like it there.”
“I do. There’s something about the stillness. It’s like I can hear my own mind for the first time in years.”
Ellie got quiet as she pulled her knees up to her chest and sank back in the overstuffed chair in her apartment’s living room. “Make any friends yet? Don’t want my big brother getting lonely.”
Arden’s stunning face flashed in my mind. Those tiny freckles that were only visible in the brightest sunlight. The way her lips were stained the same shade as sun-ripened raspberries.
Ellie jerked upright. “Did you meet a girl?”
I barked out a laugh. “I feel like that level of shock at me possibly meeting someone should be an insult.”
She made a psh sound. “Excitement, not shock. You need someone in your life. So?”
“I don’t know if you can call being held at knifepoint meeting someone, but it was certainly memorable.”
Ellie’s eyes widened. “You got mugged ?”
The laughter came more easily this time. “No. I surprised her one early morning at the gym. She just reacted. No permanent damage done.”
My sister’s brows raised. “Good for her.”
“Hey,” I clipped. “Your favorite brother could’ve been seriously injured.”
She rolled her eyes as she leaned back in her chair. “You’re my only brother.”
“That doesn’t stop me from being the favorite.”
Ellie flashed an easy, familiar smile. “I wish I could meet this mystery girl. ”
“Arden.”
“I like her name.”
“Me, too.”
Those pale green eyes twinkled, but there was also sadness there. The type that had my gut churning. “Miss you, ConCon,” she whispered.
Hell.
“You could come out,” I suggested.
She shook her head, her loose waves shifting around her shoulders. “There’s too much to do for the wedding.”
The muscles in my shoulder blades tightened, making me sit up straighter. When I didn’t speak, Ellie hurried on. “Dad said you’re coming back for it. I’m really glad. I can’t imagine getting married without you there.”
My back teeth ground together. “El…”
Her face fell. “You’re not coming.”
“I can’t. You know it wouldn’t be good.” I could deal with my asshat of a father for Ellie, if she were marrying someone I knew she was head over heels in love with. But Bradley wasn’t that. He was the son of a longtime family friend who worked for his father’s hedge fund. I wasn’t sure they had a single thing in common.
Ellie had started dating him after our dad’s none-too-subtle nudging. When she tried breaking it off, Dad made his displeasure clear, and she’d caved in a matter of weeks, going right back to Bradley.
“I know he’s a hard man,” Ellie said softly. “But he’s the only parent we have left. Losing Mom was bad enough. I don’t want to lose him, too. Or you.”
White-hot pain lit along my sternum. If she only knew the truth. But it carried a weight I didn’t want Ellie to shoulder. So, I said the only thing I could. “You’ll never lose me. Never.”
“It feels like I already am.”
Each word was a blow. One she didn’t realize inflicted the worst kind of pain.
“El, I love you more than anyone on this planet, but I can’t be a part of that world for you. It was killing me. ”
Everything about it had slowly strangled the life out of me. Dad was a huge part of that, but it was more. The oppressive weight of expectation, the pressure of perfection, and the quest for more. More money. More power. More prestige.
It was part of why I’d founded my company, Gardien. I was looking for a way to do business that enabled me to help people while still succeeding. I’d needed to prove to myself that it was possible. That you didn’t have to tear others down to get ahead.
Pain flashed across Ellie’s features. “Sorry, ConCon. I know. I just… I miss you.”
Fuck.
“Tell you what. How about after the wedding and honeymoon craziness, we do a sibling trip? Just the two of us.”
She grinned at the screen, her eyes lighting. “You going to take me to Disney World like I always wanted?”
I laughed. “I think I’ll pass on endless lines and rides that are bound to make me hurl.”
“You always did have a sensitive stomach.”
I shook my head and scrubbed a hand over my stubbled cheek. “You really show no mercy.”
“That’s what little sisters are for.”
“So glad the stork dropped you on our doorstep.”
Ellie flipped her hair over her shoulder in an exaggerated motion. “As you should be.” The video cut out for a second. “Sorry, that’s Bradley. I need to jump. Love you, ConCon.”
“Love you, too, El Bell.”
And then she was gone.
I stared at the screen for a long time. The background image was the same one the phone had come with. No photos of a wife or kids to personalize the device. Not even a damn dog.
As I stared at the endless array of apps, a sense of loneliness settled over me as if I had some gaping hole in my chest that would always be empty.
But it was more. There was a sense of true fear. Because the person I loved most was diving deeper into the shark-infested waters. And I worried she’d never get out.
I shoved to my feet, locking my phone and stalking inside. I made my way to the guest room Cope had given me and quickly changed into swim trunks. Grabbing my goggles, I went straight for the pool, diving in with no pretense or easing into it.
The cold water was a shock to the system, but it would be when I hadn’t bothered with the heat. I welcomed the brutality of it and gave as good as I got, attacking the water as I swam. Back and forth, lap after lap. When my muscles burned, I kept right on pushing.
Until I saw a pair of feet dangling beneath the surface at the far end. The toes were decorated with a dark purple polish, and some part of me just knew who they belonged to.
When I reached the end, I popped up and tore off my goggles. Arden stared back at me, not a care in the world. “You done doing battle with the devil?”