14. Arden
14
ARDEN
The truth slid out so easily it was shocking. Especially given the fact that it was a truth I’d guarded with my life for over thirteen years. But I gave it to Linc as if it were nothing. As if he had earned the right to all my secrets. And maybe he had. Or perhaps there was simply something about him that made me want to lay myself bare.
That in and of itself should’ve had me running for the hills. But it didn’t. I stayed and watched as the words hit him and realization dawned.
Those hazel eyes turned thunderous, the sort of stormy that threatened retribution of the highest order. “Who. Hurt. You?”
I could feel the war within him, the battle to keep his hold on me gentle, and the fight to not scare me. But I wasn’t frightened. Somehow, his anger was a balm. I knew I shouldn’t tell him—my family were the only ones I could truly trust—but I found myself speaking anyway. It was like my voice belonged to someone else, as if I were listening right along with Linc.
“My parents were killed when I was eleven,” I began. “I saw it. My mom, at least. She’d hidden me in a secret closet, but there wasn’t enough room for us both.”
Acid surged up my throat, burning it. The older I’d gotten, the more I recognized her sacrifice. “I watched as a man taunted her and then ordered his hired hand to kill her. All because my father was greedy. Because he wanted more.”
I’d realized with time that my mom must have known what my dad was up to. The mastermind had known her. Had called her by name. But I couldn’t stop replaying the conversations of that night all those years ago in my head. How my mom had told me things would get better, and Dad would be home more. Either she’d known and had convinced my dad to stop taking the bribes, or he’d grown a conscience and decided to stop all on his own. But none of that changed the fact that his greed had set the series of events in motion.
I let out a shaky breath, anger mixing with my fear. “As if we didn’t have enough. Our house was bigger than we’d ever need, his car was top of the line, and his clothes were impeccable. But it wasn’t enough.”
Confusion swept over Lincoln’s face. “He stole something?”
I shook my head. “He was a judge. He accepted bribes.”
Linc muttered a curse.
“Apparently, there came a time when he wanted to stop.”
“And they didn’t want him to,” Linc surmised.
“No,” I whispered. “They didn’t. So, I watched from the pitch-black of a hidden closet as they shot my mom in the chest. I watched her take her last breath. Watched as her blood spilled out onto one of our antique rugs. I watched her life spill out. I waited, locked in the dark for hours until a neighbor saw our open door and called the police. But even then, I was too terrified to step into the light. They had to sedate me to get me out of there.”
“Fuck,” Linc bit out, and then his arms were around me. He engulfed me in a hug that nearly drowned me—in the best way.
For the first time in over a decade, I felt truly safe. As if no one could get to me because the embrace would protect me. I let all that was Linc drown my senses. Let that bourbon and cedar scent wrap around me and seep into my skin.
He held me for a long time. So long, I thought the sun might’ve sunk lower in the sky. But it wasn’t long enough. As he pulled back, he lifted his hands and framed my face. His palms and fingertips were callused—a fighter’s hands. And those made me feel safe, too.
“Tell me they got them. Tell me those bastards are rotting in jail.”
I wanted to say yes. Wanted to know I’d never have to worry about those men again. But I couldn’t. “One is.” I swallowed hard. “I only really saw the man who shot her, not the one who ordered him to. But my description led the police to the shooter. My testimony put him away.”
Linc’s thumb stroked the apple of my cheek. “So damn strong.”
I wasn’t, not really. I was still terrified of the dark. Still held myself back from all the people in my life. But I didn’t tell Linc any of that. Instead, I gave him a different truth. “They never found the mastermind—the one calling all the shots. The hired gun never flipped on him, and all I saw was his damn shoe. Only heard his voice taunting my mom before he killed her and said he’d find and kill me, too.”
Linc’s hold on my face tightened infinitesimally. “Fucking hell.”
“The cops tried to put the pieces together and link him to my dad or the hired gun. But the money trails they found disappeared in Switzerland.”
“Hiding his tracks,” Linc muttered.
“Yes. And he used that anonymity to try again. He didn’t want to take any chances that I might’ve seen something more.”
Linc released me then as if he didn’t trust himself not to hurt me somehow. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging hard on the ends of the strands. “What do you mean try again ?” he spat.
I swallowed hard. “They put me into foster care after my parents were killed. I only had one distant family member, and they weren’t equipped to take custody of a young girl. So, I lived in a house with a handful of other kids. One night, someone broke in. Apparently, they hacked CPS to find my location.”
Linc’s hands fisted as he let out a sound that resembled a snarl .
“The woman who ran the foster home, Mrs. Dearborn, saved my life. She must’ve heard something because she came out of her bedroom and surprised the masked person outside my room.” No, not a person. A hitman. A hired gun. Someone contracted to kill me . “She screamed for me to run and got knocked unconscious as a result. But she did it anyway. Saved my life, just like my mom had.”
I let out a shuddering breath as my throat burned. “I was so scared. I slid out my window and ran as hard and fast as I could. I didn’t even have shoes on, but I pushed until I couldn’t go any farther. I didn’t know what to do.”
Tears pooled in my eyes as the memories hit me one after the other. “Finally, I came to a church. My family wasn’t religious, but I thought I might be safe there until morning. I hid in the back pew. I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is a nun waking me up and asking if I was okay.”
Linc stared at me, unmoving, pain and fury splashed across his face.
“The police came and brought me to the station. That’s when they put me into witness protection.”
Linc’s eyes flared in surprise. “Witness protection,” he echoed.
“They placed me far away, across the country. Even Nora and Lolli didn’t know where I’d come from or what had happened to me. They just knew I was traumatized and needed them. They were so patient. Never pushed, were just there, my steady rocks. I’ll never be able to repay them for what they did for me.”
Linc moved again, back to me, engulfing me in that embrace. “You’re safe now.” I sensed the words were as much for him as they were for me. And I wanted to believe them. But I wasn’t sure I could.
“The note,” I croaked.
Linc pulled back but kept his hands on me. “You think someone knows about your past.”
“ I know who you really are .” I recited the red scrawl.
He muttered a curse. “You need to call your case agent.”
“I don’t have one. Not anymore. I opted out of the program when I turned eighteen. ”
Linc’s eyes hardened. “Why?” he gritted out.
My spine stiffened. “You have no idea what it’s like. Endless rules of who you can tell what to. Feeling like people are constantly watching you. Like the small sliver of life you’ve managed to carve out for yourself is constantly under a microscope. I wanted the freedom to live.”
I might not have seen that through in all the ways I wanted to yet and might’ve let fear keep me from reaching for certain dreams, but at least it was my choice, not that of some case agent looking over my shoulder twenty-four-seven. And I could take the baby steps I wanted to whenever I was ready.
Like today. Telling Linc. Hell, that was way more than a baby step. It was a monumental leap. One I’d taken because of all he made me feel.
His shoulders released some of the tension as he pulled me back into his arms. “I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t even imagine.”
I shuddered against him, my fingers twisting in the fabric of his soft tee once again. I needed that tether right now. Something to hold me to the here and now so I didn’t slip back into those awful memories.
“Who knows?” Linc asked.
“The Colsons, a handful of people at the bureau, and the marshals.”
He let out a long breath. “We need to call Trace.”
It was my turn to pull back. “I don’t know?—”
“Arden.” He cut me off. “This is serious. If someone knows who you really are…”
My life could be in danger. My stomach twisted. “Call him.”
Even though I knew this was how I’d lose my freedom all over again.