33. Lincoln
33
LINCOLN
My finger swept across the screen to accept the call. “Hey, El Bell.”
“Hey, ConCon,” she greeted, her voice soft.
I moved through the studio, clicking off the stereo and shutting doors and windows as I watched Arden make her way to the house. “Pretty late for you.”
A fact that had my muscles winding a little tighter than normal, even as I tried to shove the worry down.
Ellie let out a small huff of air across the line. “You think I’m not going to check up on my big brother and his girlfriend after he tells me some creep smashed up her art studio?”
I shouldn’t have told her, but she’d called just as I was finishing up with Trace. And Ellie had read me the way only little sisters could. She’d pushed, and I’d caved. “We’re both good. Just spent all afternoon getting things back in working order.”
Shutting off the lights, I stepped onto the back patio that overlooked the now-empty paddock and barn. With the storm clouds rolling in, you couldn’t make out much of the moon, but it somehow still managed to be a beautiful night.
“Good,” Ellie said, a little of the tension bleeding out of her voice. “That’s good.”
“What about you? How are things in New York?” I asked, just as a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating the mountains for a split second before plunging the world into darkness again.
“It’s New York. Same ole, same ole.”
Thunder rolled, quicker this time. The storm was moving closer.
“I don’t actually give a damn about New York. What about you ?” I pressed. She was holding something back.
Ellie was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know if I want to do it.”
Everything in me froze. “Marry Bradley?”
More silence.
“El…”
“I feel like I’m scared to move,” she croaked.
Fuck.
“Do you want me to come to New York?” I asked. I fucking hated that city, but I’d do it for Ellie. I’d have to convince Arden to come with me because I sure as hell wasn’t leaving her here.
“No,” Ellie answered quickly. In my mind, I could see her shaking her head, that mix of blond and brown swirling around her face. “I need to figure this out on my own. I just…I just needed to hear your voice for a second.”
“I’m right here. Always. You should come stay for a while. Cope wouldn’t mind.”
Another pause.
“Maybe. I need to sort out my head first.”
“El?”
“Yeah?” she whispered.
“Fuck everyone. Even me. Don’t think about what anyone else wants but you. This is your life. Don’t wake up twenty years from now and realize you wasted it living for other people. Find out what you want.”
I heard short, harsh pants of breath and knew she was crying. My hand tightened around the phone. I wished I had a wall to put my fist through.
Another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky. Way closer this time. The thunder that followed felt like it was practically on top of me.
“You need to go,” Ellie rasped. “Sounds like you’re in a storm.”
“El—”
“I’ll check in soon. Love you, ConCon.”
She hung up before I could say another word. I pulled the phone away from my face and stared at the screen. An ache took root in my chest. I couldn’t make the next choices for my sister. I just hoped she was strong enough to do what made her happy.
My gaze lifted, pulled toward the house, toward Arden. Sometimes, it felt like my entire body was attuned to her, subtly shifting in her direction at all times. A magnetic pull because of all she was.
But as I stared at the house, I realized something was off. The light by the door that was perpetually on wasn’t now. And no lights glowed from inside.
I turned quickly, taking in the studio. While I’d turned off the overhead lights, I hadn’t missed the two night-lights plugged into outlets on either side of the room. They weren’t on now.
My mind raced, first fearing the worst and then realizing the storm must’ve knocked out the power. I was moving before I could stop myself, running toward Arden’s house. The deputy must’ve seen me because he climbed out of his vehicle, his hand going to his gun. “Everything okay?”
I waved him off. “Power’s out. Just want to make sure everything is okay in the house.” I wasn’t about to betray Arden’s secret that the dark held all her monsters.
He seemed a little wary but nodded, climbing back into his car just as the rain started. It pelted against me in angry bursts until I reached the front door. Punching in the code, I hauled it open.
“Arden?” I called into the dark.
There was nothing. No answer. No light. Not a single sign of life.
Fear kicked up, clawing in ragged sweeps across my flesh. “Arden? It’s Linc.” I flicked on the flashlight on my phone, and that’s when I heard it.
A sound.
I froze. “Arden?”
It was so faint my ears could barely make it out. A whimper.
I moved toward that faint sound, heading down the hall toward the kitchen and living room. I heard it again.
Stilling, my gaze swept the room. And that’s when I saw her.
Arden had shoved herself between a tall hutch and the wall in the far corner of the room, Brutus standing guard, his hair bristling at his owner’s state.
As I strode across the room, Brutus growled. I muttered a curse, racking my brain for the terms Arden had used. “Freund, Brutus. Freund.” I’d probably butchered the pronunciation. I’d taken one term of German in college, and that was it. But Brutus eased a fraction.
My hand dropped to his head, giving him a pat. “You did so good. But you gotta let me in there now. Okay?”
Brutus stared up at me as if considering my words and then subtly shifted back. I sank to the floor, moving in as close as I could to Arden. Her face had turned a stark shade of white, and her beautiful, gray-violet eyes were too wide. Her whole body trembled.
I wanted to kill whoever had put this sort of fear into her. And I wanted to do it slowly.
I didn’t touch her. Not yet. I didn’t know if she truly knew it was me. “Arden, can you hear me?”
She kept staring straight ahead, unblinking, as if seeing something other than what was right in front of her. “They’re coming.”
Agony twisted in my gut. “You’re safe. I promise they’re not getting anywhere near you. Deputy Allen is out there. I’m right here. You’ve got Brutus.”
“They killed her,” Arden croaked. “So…much blood. It’s everywhere. It’s seeping into the carpet. She’s not breathing.”
I scooted closer, my hands running up her calves and squeezing. “Arden, look at me. See me. ”
She blinked a couple of times as if trying to pull herself out of it, but she couldn’t quite get there.
I squeezed her calves again, trying to give her something to anchor herself. “You hear my voice? You feel me? Come back. Come back to me.”
She blinked again, faster now. Then her head moved, trying to find me. Finally, those beautiful, tortured eyes met mine. “Linc?”
“That’s my girl. I’m right here.”
“It’s dark,” she whispered.
“I know. But you’re not alone in it. Not anymore.” I swept the beam across the room to demonstrate that there was light, even in the dark.
Those beautiful eyes filled, and then she threw herself at me. I caught her, cradling her in my arms as huge, racking sobs took over. I held her to me, giving her the time to let it all out—everything she kept bottled up all the time.
“It was so real,” she choked out. “Like I was back there. In that closet. Watching it all happen.”
“I’m so sorry, baby. You’re safe.”
She shuddered against me and burrowed deeper. “So cold.”
I moved then, grabbing my phone and shoving to my feet with Arden still in my arms. I might not be able to erase the memories that haunted her, but I could fix this.
Keeping Arden cradled against me, I headed in the direction of the bathroom, hoping the water heater was gas and not electric. I was just glad that I remembered Cope telling me the well water system had a small generator to keep things running during power outages. Brutus started to follow, but I held out a hand. “Stay. I’ve got her.”
Brutus stared at me for a moment and then plunked his butt down.
At least I wouldn’t be battling a dog, too. I navigated the furniture the best I could with only the light on my phone as Arden trembled against me more. Each vibration stoked my rage, building it into a fiery inferno. She’d been through too much. Had been traumatized. Threatened. Was living in fear.
I would’ve paid any price to take it all away. To end this for her .
Moving into the bathroom, I set the phone and Arden on the counter and started to release her, but her hands fisted in my tee and held tight. “Don’t leave me.”
Fuck.
My back teeth ground together, the rage nearly swallowing me whole. I dropped my forehead to hers, trying to shove the anger down. “I’m right here. Not going anywhere. Just going to turn the water on. Think I can do that?”
Arden was quiet for a moment. She didn’t move, barely breathed. “Okay.”
I moved as quickly as possible, turning the water on to warm and returning to her, the light from my phone casting us in a faint glow. I brushed my lips across her temple. “I’m right here. See?”
Arden’s hand rose to rest on my chest, over my heart. “Right here.”
She was killing me. Everything about this was slicing me open. All I wanted to do was erase every ounce of her pain, but I couldn’t.
Instead, I kicked off my boots then shucked my jeans, socks, and tee, leaving only my boxer briefs on. If anyone was going to be cold in this bathroom, it would be me.
I ghosted a hand over Arden’s face. “Would it be okay if I undressed you? Get you into that nice, warm shower?” Steam was already beginning to fill the bathroom in a way that promised endless warmth.
She nodded slowly, her throat working as she swallowed.
“Arms up,” I said gently.
Arden raised them, and I moved closer to pull up her T-shirt. As I let it flutter to the floor, I took in her form in the sliver of light. She wore some sort of black lace bra I didn’t want to look too closely at. My arms encircled her, fingers unfastening the hooks and letting that fall to the floor, too.
“Gonna lift you down now. Think you can stand?”
Arden nodded robotically. There was no life in the movement, no signs of the vitality that usually filled her.
I sank to my knees, my hands going to her left foot. I quickly untied the sneaker’s laces. “Lift.” She did, and I pulled the shoe and sock off, then repeated it with the other foot. I looked up to find Arden watching me. But it was as if she were peering through a looking glass or seeing something through some sort of distortion.
My fingers lifted to the button at her waist. “Almost there.”
Arden’s eyes went glassy. “Almost there.”
I unfastened her pants and pulled them and her underwear down. She shivered, and I cursed, pushing to my feet. “Let’s get you warm.”
I held out a hand to test the water, adjusting it slightly before ushering Arden into the glass-enclosed space. I positioned her under the spray but facing away, toward me.
“Warm,” she whispered.
“That’s right. Gonna take care of you, all right?”
Those gray-violet eyes locked on mine. “You always take care of me.”
The words were a beautiful knife to the heart, and I willingly took every ounce of the pain. “That’s right.”
My hands lifted to Arden’s hair, searching for the rubber band that held those mountains of dark brown locks in a tangled mess atop her head. Latching on, I maneuvered it as gently as possible, letting all that beautiful hair free to fall into the spray.
I surveyed the shelf in the stall, trying to make out words in the near-dark. I found the shampoo and squirted a healthy dose into my palm. “Can you turn for me?”
Arden did, moving back a fraction. I rubbed my hands together to create suds and realized where Arden’s cherry scent came from. This shampoo. Maybe this would give her back a little of herself.
My fingers dug into her hair, depositing shampoo across the strands. I massaged Arden’s head, making sure every inch of her hair was cleaned. She hummed softly.
The small sound of pleasure erased a little of the memories of her whimpering. I wanted to give her only the good. So much of it that she wouldn’t even remember the bad.
“Turn,” I whispered hoarsely.
She did.
My fingers worked through her hair, rinsing the shampoo as I stared down at her. Arden didn’t close her eyes—so trusting that I wouldn’t get any soap in them. That trust was a gift, and I moved as if I were restoring the Mona Lisa.
When all the strands were fully rinsed, I repeated the steps with conditioner. Then, as Arden watched me, I reached for the bodywash. I squeezed soap into my palms and rubbed them together. My hands skated over her arms and torso, then moved up to cup her breasts, the perfect weight filling my hands.
Arden let out a soft moan, her nipples pebbling. My dick hardened in response, not giving a damn that this wasn’t the time, and I still had soaked boxer briefs on. My thumbs circled the tight buds as Arden’s head tipped back.
I released her breasts, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. Sinking to my knees, I lathered bodywash over one leg, then the other. Arden’s breaths came in quick pants as her fingers dug into my shoulders.
Water coursed over her, rinsing the soap free, but I still didn’t move. She was so beautiful, a work of art in her own right. So strong, withstanding some of the worst this world had to offer.
Those gray-violet eyes found mine, brighter now. “Linc.”
My whole body tightened in response to just my name on her lips. “What do you need?”
The violet flashed. “You.”
A stream of curses flew through my mind. “I don’t know if that’s a good?—”
Arden cut me off, bending to take my mouth, her tongue stroking in. The second her taste hit me, I was gone: cherries and mint and something that was only her.
She pulled back, tugging me to my feet. “Trust me to know what I need. And right now, I need to feel you . Everywhere.”
My dick pulsed with that image and promise. I stepped back and saw a hint of pain in Arden’s eyes at the perceived rejection. I quickly sat on the tiled bench in the shower and took her hand. “Take what you need, Vicious.”