38. Arden
38
ARDEN
“You want me to get on this thing?”
The skepticism in Linc’s voice had me biting back a chuckle. “It’s not a thing. It’s a horse. And her name is Stardust.”
His gaze swept over the mare, lingering on the saddle and pack. “And what about me breaking my neck makes you think it will help me feel better?”
I couldn’t hold back the laugh this time. “Stardust is as steady as they come. She won’t spook, even if we come across a cougar.”
Linc stilled, staring at me like I had two heads. “I don’t think getting mauled by a cougar is going to help either.”
I grinned back at him as I tightened the cinch on Whiskey’s saddle. “Never ridden a horse before? I thought you were a secret cowboy.”
Linc moved toward Stardust’s head, letting her sniff his open palm before he stroked her face. There was an ease about the movement that was at odds with his earlier apprehension, which spoke of being around these animals before.
“My mom used to take me,” he said quietly .
My gut twisted as guilt swept in. This might have been a big misstep. “We don’t have to?—”
“No,” Linc said, cutting me off. “It’ll be good. I think both of us could use a little time away.”
He was right. Just a few days of having deputies trailing me every time I left the property and being perched outside my house and studio made me feel like I was suffocating. I could only imagine how Linc felt. It was as if his father had been tracking his every move for years.
I patted Whiskey and moved into Linc’s space, leaning in and brushing my mouth across his. “A night under the stars will do us both some good.”
One corner of Linc’s mouth kicked up. “I wouldn’t mind sharing a tent with you.”
“What about a sleeping bag?”
“Even better.” Linc lowered his head and took my mouth in a kiss that tipped hotter as his tongue stroked mine.
Stardust bumped Linc’s back, forcing him to break the kiss. He turned, eyeing the mare. “It’s not bad enough that I have one cockblock? Now, I have two?”
Brutus let out a soft bark as if he understood exactly what Linc had accused him of.
I scratched between Stardust’s ears, where she loved it the most. “My girl’s just ready to hit the trail.”
“And now I have to hit it with a hard-on,” Linc muttered.
“Have fun with that,” I singsonged.
We mounted and headed for the trails that would lead us into Forest Service land. It was one of the things I loved about Cope’s property. There was no need to trailer the horses somewhere to ride. I could just take off and go.
But I was still cautious. Emergency provisions. Sat phone. Extra supplies. Rifle, just in case. And Trace would’ve lost his mind if I didn’t give him our exact route and camping spot. It had been hard enough to get him to agree to the trip in the first place. Safety first with him, always. Even before someone had vandalized my property.
But I understood why. When you grew up in situations where safety was the last thought, it changed you. And in some ways, law and order had become the crutch Trace held on to. As though he couldn’t be hurt again if he never colored outside the lines.
I guessed we all had things we thought would keep us safe and away from any more pain. But as I looked over at Linc, I knew those things were a lie. Because it only took one person crashing into your life to destroy every last wall you’d put up.
Icy claws of panic dug into my chest, but I shoved the sensation down. Instead, I focused on the man opposite me. The one who’d been there for me in all my darkest moments lately. I needed to do the same for him. Had to give him back a little of what he’d given me.
“It’s so peaceful here,” Linc said, his eyes shaded by a Seattle Sparks ballcap.
My gaze swept the high desert landscape, taking in the mixture of sage-filled plains and thick forests, all leading to Castle Rock and the Monarch Mountains. “The vastness of it always puts my problems in perspective.”
He glanced over at me as Brutus ran ahead of the horses to sniff the trail. “You trying to give me that? Perspective?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. Or escape. A little reprieve to gather your strength to fight another day.”
A muscle in Linc’s jaw ticked. “I’m not sure he’s someone I can ever defeat.”
“Gotta find his weak spot. Same as sparring.”
“Sometimes, I don’t think he has one.”
I stared at Linc for a moment, trusting that Whiskey would keep us on the path. “I know he does.” Linc’s gaze cut back to me, surprise lighting there. “He doesn’t realize what’s right in front of him. The incredible son. The amazing daughter. He’s missing out on what he has in his quest for more. He can never take in everything that’s been given to him because he’s too blinded by trying to have it all.”
Linc’s throat worked as he swallowed. “I don’t want to be like him.”
Hell.
I guided Whiskey toward Stardust, close enough that I could reach out and take Linc’s hand. “You never could be. You’re never blind to the world around you. Never turn away from someone who’s hurting.”
Linc didn’t look convinced.
“You got Cope in with the best doctors and rehab specialists. And look how much better he’s doing already.”
“Maybe I just wanted my star player back,” Linc challenged.
I rolled my eyes. “What about all you’ve done for me? Stepping in, even when I shoved you away.”
Linc’s gaze roamed over my face, feeling like a featherlight touch of fingertips. “Maybe I just wanted to get laid.”
One corner of my mouth kicked up. “I guess that worked out well for you.”
“I guess it did,” Linc said, the dark green in his eyes flashing a little brighter.
“You can’t hide from me, Cowboy. I see you. I see how much you care. You fight for the underdog every single time. The company that needs extra support. The sports team that was on an epic losing streak until you turned it around. Even paying the most attention to the quietest kid at art camp.”
“Gracie?” Linc asked.
“Gracie.” I squeezed his fingers. “You’ll never be your father because you’re uniquely you. You took all his ugliness and turned it into beauty. Like a living sculpture. So damn breathtaking.”
“Vicious?”
“Yeah, Cowboy?”
“You say stuff like that, and I’m gonna need to fuck you. And the only thing that’s around here are tumbleweeds and rocks. That does not sound pleasant. So, I’m gonna need you to stop being so amazing.”
My mouth stretched into a wide smile. “I’ll try my best, but amazing is kind of my default setting.”
Linc barked out a laugh. “Damn if that isn’t true.”
The warmth of it all slid through me. Unfortunately, fast on its heels came panic. But I did what I always did and shoved that shit down.