Chapter 6
When Tiana sent me the video of Mi’Junae, I nearly had a meltdown. I could see why Deontray was so emotional. Before I even realized it, I found myself about to hop a flight back to LA. They needed the support. Regardless of whether Deontray and I were a couple or not, I wanted to believe we’d at least established a bond.
Knowing that Mi’Junae really didn’t have a woman in her life she could look up to, I assumed I could fill the position for her. While I wasn’t much older than she was, I knew what was out there, and none of that shit was promising.
“Where are you going?”
I looked up to see my mama in the doorway. “Hey, Mama. I’m flying back to LA. Deontray is in a storm, and I just… I feel compelled to be there for him and his sister.”
“I saw the news on the internet. It’s so sad.”
“Yeah. I could feel his hurt and anger through the phone. He was such a gentleman and extremely tender with me. I can’t turn my back on him.”
“Did he ask you to be there?”
“No, ma’am. He told me he would call me later. I’m calling his manager before I leave to get access to his room.”
“Okay, baby. Just be careful with your heart. I mean, I know I don’t have to tell you that, but as your mother, I feel better by saying it.”
I chuckled at her being overdramatic then stood and hugged her. “I will, Mama. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.”
I walked back to my bag and zipped it up, then headed out with her so I didn’t miss my flight. Thankfully, I didn’t have to go through security, or I wouldn’t make it on time. Just as I headed out of the door, my car was pulling up. Turning to lock it, I took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. It was so unlike me. I supposed it was because I had never allowed anyone in the industry to get close.
Feeling close to Deontray already felt awkward to me, but it felt natural at the same time. I wasn’t forcing anything. His spirit simply drew me to him. At heart, he was a good guy. Learning more about him had put me in a sensitive state.
Once I got in the car, I texted Tiana and Mulan in our group thread. I’m going back to LA.
Tiana: Oh shit. Did you suck his nuts?
Mulan: Why? What happened?
I rolled my eyes and slowly shook my head at Tiana’s stupid ass. I responded immediately. I’m worried about him, and NO, I didn’t suck his nuts, bitch.
Tiana: You ho! LMAO!
Mulan: Please be careful, Mari. Physically and emotionally.
Tiana: Yeah, be careful. Let us know when you make it, and you owe us a three-way call.
Me: I’ll text when I land, and I’ll call as soon as I can.
I slid my phone into my purse, only to pull it back out. I forgot to have my manager, Russell, call Deontray’s manager. It wouldn’t make sense to fly all the way there to surprise him if I had to tell him I was there. He promised to get on it right away. I, again, slid my phone in my purse. I could only imagine what Deontray and Mi’Junae were going through with the media. I was sure they were bombarding them at every turn.
When we got to the airport, I took a deep breath and whispered to myself, “Here goes nothing.”
I knocked on the door, and I could hear a slight commotion, like someone had fallen, then I heard giggling. Hopefully, this wasn’t a huge mistake. If he had another woman in here, I couldn’t be broken about it. We weren’t a couple, although he wanted to be. I supposed since he was trying to pursue something with me, I halfway expected him to do what was right by me.
I could see someone glance through the peephole, then the door immediately swung open. Deontray was standing there in his shorts, socks, and a wifebeater, his eyes wide. After a moment, he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. As soon as the door closed, he lifted me in his arms and spun me around. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Once he lowered me and I saw Mi’Junae on the couch, I realized it was her giggles that I’d heard. I smiled at her then brought my hands to Deontray’s face. “Hey.”
“Hey. What are you doing here, Kamari?”
“I needed to come see about y’all. I could feel the weight and sadness through your voice. So I could only imagine how Mi’Junae was feeling.”
I glanced over at her as she stood from her seat. Deontray gently grabbed my chin, turning me back to him, and kissed my lips tenderly. “Damn, girl. For real?”
“For real. I thought I could be whatever the two of you needed me to be.”
When Mi’Junae reached me, she fell onto me. I wrapped my arms around her, knowing that I’d made the right decision, even if it was only for her. She pulled away quickly. “I’m sorry, Kamari. It’s just…” She looked away for a second then turned back to me. “No one, besides my brother, has shown genuine care for me. For you to fly all the way back here for us speaks volumes. You don’t know me, and you probably barely know him. Why?”
“My spirit wouldn’t let me rest. After my friend sent me the news, I knew I needed to be here. I have a soft heart that many people aren’t privy to. Somehow, your brother penetrated my defenses. I could tell he was for real and not just trying to get in my panties.”
I glanced at Deontray in time to see him lick his lips. My panties were definitely on his mind, there was no mistaking that. I realized the other night that he was just as concerned with who I was as a person though. That was why I was here. That energy just spilled over to his sister. She was important to him, so that made her important to me.
“I really appreciate you,” Mi’Junae said.
I nodded. “Of course, Mi’Junae.”
“Call me Mi. That’s what lover boy calls me. I’m gonna go heat up my soup. Can we talk later?”
“Absolutely.”
She walked toward the kitchen as Deontray grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch. Once we sat, he stared at me then began playing in my hair. I gave him a slight smile. He lowered his head and kissed my lips again, allowing it to linger a little longer this time. I slid my arms around his neck, and he leaned to my ear.
“You know, I do want what’s in your panties, but I want your heart too.”
I pulled away slightly to see his facial expression. I bit my bottom lip, and I watched his eyes travel to my lips. “When the time is right, you will experience both. Unless?—”
He placed his fingers on my lips, halting the words that were about to leave them. “Ain’t no unless, baby. I will experience both.”
I smiled slightly, then remembered my delivery yesterday. “Thank you for the flowers. They were absolutely gorgeous.”
“You’re welcome. You deserve so much more… just for how you soothe my soul. You getting here to be with us after you just left… that shit got me soft as cotton candy. I swear if you lick me, I’ll dissolve in your mouth.”
I laughed louder than I intended, causing Deontray to laugh too. When I finally calmed down, I said, “I had no idea you were so funny.”
“Me either. I guess you bring that shit out of me.”
I stroked his cheek as I got lost in his gaze. The way he was staring at me had all my insides going crazy. I felt just as soft as he did, if not softer. I always had my guard up with industry people, but in a short amount of time, it was completely down. That was dangerous as hell, but I was still willing to take the risk.
I was no longer trying to figure out why. I just had an overwhelming desire to be here. Pulling his face to mine, I kissed him again. His lips were so addicting. Him having his dreads hanging low only fueled my desire. I told him when the time was right, he could have what was in my panties, but damn, I wanted the time to be now.
The knock at the door halted everything though. Deontray frowned and glanced at Mi’Junae. She looked as tense as he had become. His shoulders were slightly lifted, putting his tension on display. Bringing his eyes back to me, he said, “Give me a minute.”
I nodded and watched him go to the door. I was surprised he didn’t have security at the door at all times, especially after what had happened. He peeked through the peephole, then pulled the door open and let a man inside.
“So, I think a statement needs to be made. The media runs wild with everything. That video needs to be pulled down immediately, and we need to let the medical records show that not only was there THC in her system, but X as well. She was drugged… which would also mean she was raped.”
My heart dropped to my feet. I thought Mi was just being careless, irresponsible, and wild. To know that she was raped hurt my heart. That was why I didn’t trust these muthafuckas in this industry. Money made them feel powerful and untouchable. I stood and made my way to Mi when I saw her drop her face to her hands. When I did, I saw the man’s eyes widen.
When I got to her, I grabbed her hand and took her to the couch, pulling her in my arms. She cried hard as if she was just hearing this information. I supposed to know that she was taken advantage of was a hard pill to swallow. I hated that for her… for all women who had experienced this, especially in this industry where nothing would probably happen to the aggressor. It was the victim who suffered the ridicule.
As I listened to her cry, I found myself dropping tears as well. This was extremely heavy. I wished I had my guitar, because it was therapeutic for me and could possibly be that for her too. As I held her, I closed my eyes, wishing there was something more I could do for her. When I felt fingers on my cheeks, I opened my eyes to see Deontray kneeling in front of us, wiping both our tears. Mi’Junae went to the floor and into his arms as he stared at me. He kissed her head, doing his best to console her.
“Come on, Mi.”
He stood from the floor and helped her up as well. When he sat on the couch and she sat next to him, I stood and headed to the kitchen. I didn’t want him having to share his affection with me when she needed it all. When he turned to see where I’d gone, I asked, “Besides this soup Mi was eating, have y’all eaten anything else?”
Deontray shook his head. “Come sit with us, baby.”
I shook my head, but he tilted his head, gesturing for me to go over there. Instead, I pulled my phone from my pocket to send him a message. I can spend time with you later. She needs your consolation right now.
After I sent it, I heard his phone chime. He grabbed it from the table and read my message then looked back at me. “Come sit with us, baby,” he repeated.
I took a deep breath and made my way over. When I sat, he kissed my head. “I need you close to me. You are keeping me calm. Whenever I see her cry, I want to go all the way to London and find that muthafucka.”
I frowned slightly. I didn’t know who he was speaking of, but clearly, Mi’Junae remembered who she’d had sex with. The media was connecting her to FAAFO, but it was only speculations since they’d been seen together in the past. No one knew for sure who the man in the video was.
I relaxed against him for a moment then lifted my head to kiss his lips. He was a protector. While he said I was keeping him calm, I knew my tears moved him just like Mi’Junae’s did. I knew my brother, although younger, would be the same way if something like this had happened to me. He would leave NYU with the quickness to come see about me.
Mi’Junae lifted her head and kissed Deontray’s cheek then stood from the couch. “I’m gonna go take a nap. I need to try to sleep.”
He nodded then stood to help her. I couldn’t help but see just how much he loved her. Before they could fully walk away, Mi turned back to me and asked, “Can we talk after my nap?”
I gave her a slight smile. “Of course.”
She gave me a tight-lipped smile in response and continued to her bedroom. I looked around the suite and marveled at how much it looked like a luxurious apartment. I never got anything this fancy. I supposed it was the country in me. Although my career was huge and had only gotten bigger since the Cowboy Carter album, I didn’t live that way. I saved most of my money. These types of luxuries meant nothing to me. I didn’t care what people thought about me either.
I drove a Mercedes, and I owned a three-thousand-square-feet house. It was just me. I only needed enough space for myself, my brother, and my parents if they came to visit. I was rarely there anyway. Most times, I was in Lafayette at their house. Whenever people asked where I lived, I would say Lafayette. My house in Houston was vacant.
It was fully furnished, and it was beautiful, but I hated being away from my family. I let Tiana pump me up into moving to Houston. She always wanted to go to Houston to turn up when we first turned twenty-one and felt since we were there a lot, I should buy a house there. She thought I loved the party scene as much as she did back then. I only went because she wanted to go. I hated it.
She finally realized it when she overheard me talking to Mulan about it. I wasn’t downing her. I was only saying that I hated it. She barged in on us and hugged me so tightly, I nearly suffocated. I appreciated her for taking my feelings into account though. She told me to never do shit I didn’t want to do simply to please someone else, even if it was her.
It wasn’t like I was funding the turnups. She had her own money and so did Mulan. Tiana worked as a realtor, and Mulan was a nurse. Tiana was also an amazing make-up artist. When she was able to attend any of my many events, I hired her to do my makeup instead of the other folks, just like I had my mama as my beautician.
When Deontray returned to the couch, before he could sit, I asked, “Do you want to take a nap too?”
“Only if you’re coming with me. I’m not pressuring you or anything, but I want to be near you.”
I smiled and patted the couch next to me. There was no way I was going to get in bed with Deontray. I would allow him to fuck my world up right about now. It was definitely too soon for that type of carrying on, no matter how sensitive I was feeling.
He sat at the end of the couch then laid his head on my lap. As he stared up at me, I smiled. The man was so damn gorgeous. I traced his eyebrows then slid my finger down the bridge of his nose to his slightly tinted lips. He kissed my finger as I brought it to his chin hair. “You’re a gorgeous man, Deontray.”
“You’re a beautiful woman, Kamari.”
He turned to his side and wrapped his arms around my waist like I would somehow get away from him. I gently stroked his cheek with my thumb as my fingers rested on his neck. He licked his lips then closed his eyes. I couldn’t look away. Seeing him so vulnerable, clinging to me for solace had me feeling strong but weak at the same time. I felt strong because my presence was healing him in a way. I felt weak knowing that he even needed me in this capacity.
I would be what he needed me to be though. His vulnerability only drew me closer to him. Him feeling comfortable enough to show me just how weak and vulnerable he was gave me courage to trust that this would be the real thing. I would be his woman, and the next time he asked me, he would be pleasantly surprised by my answer.