Chapter 12
I didn’t know how much more I could take. I knew there was a reason I stayed off social media. The public could be ruthless. They were calling me stupid for dating Deontray and diving into my past, saying maybe I wasn’t as good of a good girl as America thought. The shit was tiring and stressful. I didn’t know how Tray dealt with it. I had so many DMs I thought my phone would crash.
I got DMs all the time, but it seemed like they were coming through every ten seconds. I didn’t know how I would focus to perform tonight. My phone rang all night last night. My manager and I had talked for at least an hour, talking about how we would handle this and if I would make a statement. I told him I would make a statement tonight since Tray was meeting me here in Houston.
Terrence had been with me all day, trying to help me deal with what was going on. He knew I wasn’t used to this bullshit. It was a lot. My mama was in the next room, trying to handle what she could. She showed up today to be here for me. She wasn’t supposed to be here. My daddy wanted to come, but I told him to stay home. He wasn’t good with keeping his cool when it came to me, especially not when it concerned people trying to paint me in a bad light.
As I tried to get comfortable, Terrence brought me a cup of hot tea and my blanket. I purposely kept it cold in here so I could bundle up. My mama thought I was crazy. I probably was. I hated the winter, but I liked to bundle up inside like it was freezing outside.
“Thank you, Terrence. I appreciate you.”
“You’re welcome.” He turned to walk away but then suddenly stopped. “Miss Kamari… I know this is a lot for you, but is it okay if I speak freely?”
I set my tea on the table as a slight frown made it to my face. “Yeah, sure.”
Terrence had been with me since I was seventeen years old. I would always take time to listen to what he had to say. He walked back closer to me and sat across from me. His face looked serious, and it was making me nervous. He took a deep breath and slid his hand down his face, doing nothing for my nerves.
“What is it?”
“I just… I hate to see you going through this. Are you sure this isn’t a sign that you’re making a bad decision?”
My frown deepened for a moment. “A bad decision about Deontray?”
The doorbell rang before he could respond, and because of the foolishness outside, I let him hurry to the door. We had people outside, but whoever was at the door was someone I would want in my space. I was hoping it was Tray, because I needed to feel his arms wrapped around me in the worst way.
Sure enough, he came running to the couch where I was and pulled me up to embrace me. Within seconds, I felt the safest I’d ever felt in his arms. I didn’t have a reason to not feel safe before. When I pulled away from him, I could see him eyeballing Terrence. I wasn’t sure what was going on between the two of them, but Tray brought his attention to me.
“You okay, baby?”
“I am now.”
“Hey, sis!” Mi said as she shoved Deontray. “Move, nigga. Damn.”
She hugged me tightly as my mama came from the back room. “Mama!” she yelled as she released me.
I thought it was so sweet that she called my mother Mama. I could tell that my mama was flattered by it. After she hugged her, Tray hugged her as well. “I’m so sorry y’all are fighting all the attention. People can be crazy as hell.”
“It’s okay, baby. You and Mari can’t help that you’re so interesting.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Umm… I’m not the interesting one,” I responded.
My phone started vibrating on the table, and I totally ignored it. My daddy and the princesses knew to call Mama if they needed to get ahold of me. I sat back on the couch, and Tray sat next to me. “Has your phone been ringing like that all day?”
“Since yesterday after your interview.”
“I can see your nerves, baby. You have a show to do tonight. Try not to let this shit get to you. If I gotta stand on that stage the entire time, holding you in my arms, you know I will. Whatever I gotta do to make this better, I will.”
I didn’t respond to him. I turned sideways and scooted back to him and grabbed my tea. He wrapped his arms around my waist and softly kissed my cheek and neck. I closed my eyes and allowed my man to comfort me, taking my worries and casting them out like they never existed.
The show was going well. I had already performed three songs, and the crowd was begging for more. I glanced backstage and saw Tray standing there with a microphone, ready to make his debut at the end of my next song to lead into his song. We’d practiced it this morning, and I knew it would be so beautiful. The song I was singing was talking about a toxic guy that I fell in love with. It was weird that it fell that way. Tray wasn’t toxic, but he was viewed as toxic by people that had no clue who the real Deontray was.
At the end of the song, I changed the words up some to lead into his song. The crowd would be completely confused until he stepped on stage. Honestly, with all the hoopla going on, I couldn’t wait to make a statement as he had. As I sang the mid-tempo song and played my guitar, I smiled, knowing what was coming.
The beat slowed, and I sang the revised lyrics. “Who said you were toxic? Maybe you were toxic because you were in the wrong places, mingling with the wrong people, kissing on the wrong faces. When you meet the right one, that toxicity becomes a thing of the past. She’ll show you what love really is and how to make it last.”
The crowd was completely quiet as all the other music stopped. Only a bass line was played for about ten seconds. Tray slowly walked on stage, his eyes never leaving mine as the crowd roared. I swore his gaze had my clit on edge as he made his way to my stool. When he got closer, I started playing my acoustic guitar, and he began singing.
I stared at him the entire time he sang, and this time, I knew he was singing those words to me. My entire body heated up as he sang the words that I was his light in darkness. The words he sang seemed so pure in the moment. When he got to me, he stopped singing and kissed my head, causing the crowd to go into an uproar all over again.
He began singing again as he addressed the crowd. “The only people that matter are me and you. No one knows what’s between us because they aren’t us. They don’t feel what we do because this is more than lust. I love you, girl, and I know you love me. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be making statements like this, you feel me?”
He turned to me as I sat wide eyed on my stool, slightly trembling. Those weren’t the lyrics. He’d made some changes of his own that we hadn’t practiced. I was so stunned, I’d stopped playing. Walking to me as the crowd screamed, he grabbed my hand and swung the guitar to my back. I stared into his eyes as he said in the mic, “I love you, Kamari.”
The tears fell down my cheeks, and I felt like I was hyperventilating. It had only been three weeks since we met. What was he doing? Instead, I closed my eyes and responded to his declaration. “I love you too, Deontray.”
I felt his hand caress my cheek, then he laid his lips on mine, kissing me like we were alone. I didn’t dare pull away. It was at this moment that I realized I wasn’t just saying the words because he had. I was in love with Deontray Trammel. I slid my hands to his face, holding him to me as I gave him my tongue slowly.
When I pulled away, he did his best to hold on to my bottom lip. The crowd was going crazy. I grabbed the microphone from him and addressed the crowd. “So I guess you can say it’s true. It wasn’t a rumor. Deontray and I are embarking on a beautiful love affair. Neither of us are crazy. We’re in love. Have a good night, Houston!”
I dropped the mic, and Deontray lifted me in his arms, his hands gripping my ass as I wrapped my legs around him, and he carried me off stage. He stared at me the entire time, so I wasn’t sure how he knew where he was walking to. When we got backstage, my mama and Mi were screaming in excitement. Tray allowed me to slide down his body until I reached the floor.
I wanted to sling that guitar across the floor and hop back into his arms. Unfortunately, I still had autographs to sign. Tray lowered his head and kissed my lips again. When he pulled away, I asked, “Will you sit backstage with me and sign autographs?”
“For real? You want me to do that for free?”
I laughed then bit my bottom lip. “I promise you’ll get paid, baby.”
He caught the hint as soon as I threw it. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. I could see in his eyes that he was already anticipating the moment. Before we could walk away to the dressing room to get changed, my mama pulled me into her arms. “That was so hot, Mari! Oh my God!”
I giggled. “He caught me completely off guard, but I loved every minute of it.”
“Girl! My baby is truly a grown ass woman.”
I laughed again as Mi’Junae hugged me. “Although that was my brother,” she said and fake gagged, “it was definitely hot.”
“Thanks, sis.”
I kissed her cheek, and Tray playfully yanked me away from her. When we got to my dressing room and had closed the door, he shoved me against the wall. “Kamari, damn, baby. I want you so bad.”
“Mmmm,” I hummed as I closed my eyes. “I want you, too, but I want it to be special, Tray.”
“Oh, don’t worry. It’s gon’ be special as hell. The heat coming from between your legs when I carried you off stage almost made it a special viewing for everybody else too. I been fiending to stroke your insides for a long time.”
“Tray, three weeks isn’t a long time.”
He bit his bottom lip and slowly shook his head. “I been fiending long before that, baby. Jacking off to visions of you. Real shit.”
I pulled his face to mine just as someone harshly knocked on the door. It scared me half to death. Tray immediately pulled me around him. I wrapped my arms around his waist from the back as he made his way to the door. He opened it cautiously, and Terrence was standing there with an older gentleman.
Tray seemed to be stunned into silence as the man smiled slightly. “He said you would want to see him,” Terrence said while looking at Tray.
I was lost as I stared on. “I don’t know why he would say some shit like that. I haven’t seen him since my mama’s funeral. Before that, I was only eighteen the last time I saw him.”
My eyes widened. That was his father. How did he know where we were? My mind drifted to the radio show he’d done yesterday. The deejay had asked him if he was going to Houston. Shit! Tray turned to me and said, “Give me a minute, baby.”
“Hi, Miss Kamari. I’m Deontray’s father, Titus Trammel.”
“Umm… hi. Nice to meet you.”
As he extended his hand, Deontray slapped it out the way and practically pushed him out of the door. I swallowed hard as I made my way to the restroom to clean up and change. I almost didn’t want to get undressed in here by myself. Although the bathroom door had a lock on it, I just didn’t trust people these days. I didn’t understand why Terrence would bring that man to my dressing room. I didn’t give a damn who he said he was.
When I heard the dressing room door open, I walked back out, only to see Terrence and not Tray. I frowned. “What’s going on?”
“You had a great show.” He shook his head. “I just… Mari, I hate that you love him, baby girl. I can’t believe you fell for someone like him. You’re too good for him, baby.”
I frowned harder. While we were close, Terrence had never called me baby, nor had he addressed me by my nickname. “Why are you saying this?”
“Because I love you, girl. I’ve been loving you since you were twenty-one. I fell hard, no matter how hard I tried to fight it. You were only seventeen when I felt an attraction to you.”
I had to be dreaming. Terrence was close to forty. He was fifteen years older than me. So he was a grown ass man, attracted to a teenager. This couldn’t be happening.
“I thought when you saw how much foolishness came your way, you would run away from that nigga like he was strapped with an explosive and about to light the match.”
My mouth dropped open. “You took the picture?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Somebody had to warn the public of the mistake you were making. Look at how good we look together? There were numerous pictures of me carrying you, shielding you, protecting you from the vultures.”
“But now, you sided with the vultures and leaked my personal life to them. Terrence, I trusted you.”
“You can still trust me. I’m just looking out for you, Kamari. He doesn’t deserve you. He’s broken, and he sleeps with anything with a pussy. Surely you don’t want a man like that. You need a man like me. One who can be devoted to you without a past that could come back and bite him in the ass.”
I closed my eyes as someone knocked on the door. “Terrence, why are you telling me this now?”
“So you can see that you have a better option. I’m the better option, Kamari. I’ll do anything for you.”
“Open the door for Deontray.”
I turned to walk away, and he grabbed my hand. I turned back to him, and he stared into my eyes, clearly pleading with his. When I didn’t say another word, he released my hand. I supposed he realized it was too late for his confession. As soon as he opened the door for Tray, I was going to fire his ass. I couldn’t believe he’d done this to me. He knew how I felt about my personal life being private. For him to feed the media outlets our photo was nasty work. He probably got paid for it.
He opened the door, and Tray walked in with a frown on his face. He mugged Terrence and made his way to me. Once he did, he turned back to Terrence. “Why the fuck you in here with her? And why the fuck you brought his ass to this dressing room?”
I rubbed his back, trying to calm him down. I knew if he had a gun, Terrence would be dead right now. There was just that much anger in his eyes. It was like he had flames for eyeballs. Terrence had effectively ruined our high. I was looking forward to making love to Tray tonight, and now, I just wanted to sign autographs and go home to sleep this off.
“I’m her security. It’s my job to look out for her. That man said he was your father. So I brought him to you. Whatever bullshit between y’all ain’t none of my business.”
Tray crossed the room faster than the speed of light and punched Terrence in his mouth, knocking him over the refreshment table. I jumped as the door flung open. More security came in, and while I could tell they wanted to subdue one or the other, they weren’t sure what to do until I said, “Get Terrance out of here. Terrence, I have to let you go. I can’t have a man watching my back that I don’t trust. When it came down to it, you put your own selfish desires before my safety. That’s unacceptable.”
The guys yanked him from the floor and got him out of my room. I slowly shook my head as Tray turned to me. “I’m sorry, baby. I felt like something was off with that nigga when I first met him. What happened?”
“He’s the one that leaked our photo. He wanted me for himself. I have to take a quick shower and change. My fans have been waiting long enough.”
I walked to the bathroom and locked the door, leaving Tray standing there with a deep frown on his face.