Chapter Thirty
Tomás
“It isn’t you I want.”
The look of betrayal on Kieran’s face after Luca told him those words shattered whatever pieces I had left of my heart. With a blade in hand, Luca approached me. I pulled back. “Luca,” I said. “Let him go. You got what you came for.”
“Luca,” Kieran warned.
But Kieran wouldn’t be able to save me. Not this time.
Luca spun me around and cut lose my wrists, then shoved the collar in my hand. “Put it on.”
The collar felt wrong. I should’ve burned it. “Luca, please.”
Anger flushed Luca’s face and before I had time to think, he rushed to Kieran who hadn’t had time to move before Luca brought down the knife into Kieran’s thigh. A burst of a pained sound slipped out between Kieran’s teeth, but he reined it in quickly going for anger instead. I launched myself at Luca, driving him back away from Kieran, but the fucker was too quick. He spun me on my back. I hit the ground hard.
He got up as if he hadn’t exerted himself and plucked the collar off the floor. The knife with Kieran’s blood in his fist. He tossed me the collar, then put the knife against Kieran’s throat. “Put it on.”
With trembling fingers, I did as he said. Except, the final piece had a lock which Luca had the key for. He used it to clasp the lock and shoved the key into his pocket.
“So what happens now?” Kieran asked, unconcerned.
“Your lover never told you?” Luca smirked and tsked.
My blood ran cold. I shook my head. Please. Don’t. Not like this.
Luca approached me. I backed up until I had nowhere else to go. He pushed me against the wall, crowded my space, and slammed his mouth against mine. The kiss was wet and messy. It was like kissing an overeager teenager who didn’t know what to do with his mouth or tongue. His hands tangled in my hair, and he pulled me back hard. “Not good enough,” he growled out. “Kiss me like I’m him .”
I cupped his face and kissed him. He smelled of oil and alcohol. And tasted of cinnamon. I dropped everything from my mind and just focused on the kiss. Luca tasted different. He smelled different. The feel of him on my tongue, how he kissed was all different. Blood pulsed in my head. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be what he wanted and everyone I cared for would suffer for it. I couldn’t pretend to like it. I couldn’t pretend that he was Kieran. Not even to save our lives.
I pulled away, tasting my own tears. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I need you to see.”
“Why the fuck does it matter! You’re going to kill me. You’re a coward. A dog. Nothing.”
He squeezed my throat. “You are too quick to sacrifice yourself. To lose. There is no fight in you.”
I spat in his face. He wiped it, taking some of the paint with it. “And you hide behind a mask.”
“Or is the mask who I truly am?” he said. “Which one is your mask, Tomás? Which is the real you?”
I couldn’t answer.
“Do you want him?” he asked.
“No.” I said without asking what he meant. I knew what he meant. The wedge in my throat, the pain inside, I knew. He was talking about Enzo.
“Did you want him?” he asked again.
“No! I didn’t want him! I never wanted him!” I screamed.
“Then answer me this. No more fucking lies.” He pulled me in front of him to face Kieran. I lowered my eyes, ashamed of myself but Luca cupped my chin and forced my eyes to Kieran’s. “Do you want him to save you?”
“Yes!” I cried. Defeated, guilty, raw for not wanting to do this on my own. Kieran promised to protect me. He’d always protect me, and I trusted him. But I didn’t want to be the reason he suffered, the reason he died . But even knowing that, I still wanted him to fight for me. To fight with me. To be with me in the end.
Luca released me. “Get him ready to walk.”
Like a fucking lunatic, Luca disappeared away from the light.
I wiped my face and grabbed my bag off the floor. I pulled out the first aid kit and started cleaning Kieran’s wound. My hands shook.
“It’s okay,” Kieran said gently. “He didn’t hit anything vital.”
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be here.” The sob made me hiccup.
“I’m where I need to be,” he said and leaned into me, seeking a kiss. I couldn’t deny him, so I met him halfway. My heart bloomed under his kiss. Nothing else mattered but him. Was he real? I wanted to believe Kieran was real and this wasn’t some sort of play on words, or some message I was missing for our escape. He smirked. “Stop thinking so much.”
I wiped my face. “Fuck you,” I said without much heart in it.
Kieran was right. Luca had mostly gotten the fabric of his pants than skin. I stuck a couple of bandages on it and used the insulin kit to check his blood. “Fox had us all carry one for you. You’re going to be okay. Your friends will take care of you.”
“What was your plan, Tomás?” Kieran asked, forcing my attention back to him. “The only reason Luca does anything is because Alessandro wills it. Luca is Alessandro’s dog. You knew that already. You said as much. He didn’t want me, he wanted you. Why?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. My head dizzy.
“Tomás. I’m in this with you. I will protect you until I stop breathing.”
“Stop! Just … please.” I leaned back on my heels, unable to look away from the depth of Kieran’s eyes. I had a million reason why I shouldn’t tell Kieran my truth. I didn’t want him to die. He shouldn’t have to fight for me. This was my shit. I fucked up. My fault. Enzo was right. It was all my fault. But I had to tell Kieran the truth because our lies would tear us apart and I didn’t want to be in a place where I didn’t have Kieran by my side. And if he didn’t love me because of it, that would be okay. Because I loved us . “I told you I’d tell you everything after the games. Let’s get you out of these first and finish this fucking night.” I rummaged through my bag pulling out a small folding knife. “What every growing boy needs,” I said with a snort and sawed the ties until his hands were free.
Kieran jumped to his feet, rubbing his wrists, his eyes perusing the immediate area for Luca. When Luca didn’t appear to fight him, Kieran went to the dead bodies and tapped them down. The curse he let out echoed in the chamber.
“What is it?” I asked.
“He took the guns.”
Kieran narrowed his eyes at me. I quickly got on the defensive. He didn’t care and approached me. “Why?”
“We should go.”
Kieran’s glare my way could cut flesh. His eyes lowered to my collar. “We can’t. Luca has you tethered. The collar is a tracker and an explosive device. He could kill you and track your body all in one shot.”
I swallowed hard and wrapped my fingers around the leather. “Don’t.” Kieran quickly lowered my hand away from my throat. “Luca’s a sick fuck. Now tell me what I need to know to get us out of this alive.”
I swallowed hard. The thought of my head popping too damn real. Either way, I was screwed.
“Tomás,” Kieran said, bringing me back to the more pressing concern than my head exploding. “Why?” he asked again.
My throat tightened and I could only say one word. One name. “Enzo.”
I watched as the one name that haunted my existence cleared everything that had been wrong with us since we first kissed. Kieran only needed several seconds to put it all together. Watching things fall into place in his expression made me tremble. “Alessandro is Enzo,” he said so low, so brittle, I thought the words would shatter my very soul.
“I didn’t know until Luca told me yesterday morning. And then Enzo was here, and he’s married to Maddox.”
“And Maddox doesn’t know.”
“How could you be so sure?”
“Because I saw how crazy he got when he learned about Amir’s death. He wanted to come get you out himself. He cares for you, Tomás. He’d kill Alessandro if he found out.”
“That’s why Enzo wants me dead. He’s tying up loose ends. He killed my mother.” I swallowed the thick wedge in my throat. “Luca just told me. They made it look like she OD’d.”
Kieran reached to hug me, but I pulled away on instinct. I didn’t deserve his care, his hug. I didn’t deserve his kindness. I hated the look on his face. A mixture of pain and anger. He settled for anger. “And you knew Luca wanted you dead and you still didn’t take my collar. You still didn’t tell me so that I could’ve protected you.”
“It’s my fault.”
“Do you really believe that?”
I lowered my eyes, shame a toxic, writhing entity under my skin.
Kieran cupped my face, forced my eyes on him. I didn’t pull away this time. I couldn’t. I needed him, his touch, his kindness. It held all my broken pieces together. “It’s not your fault,” he said. “You were a kid.”
“I loved him.”
“You were a kid.”
“I think maybe I still love him.”
“It’s not your fault, Tomás. You were a fucking kid .”
I lowered my head in total defeat and melted into his embrace. I’d already dried out of fresh tears, but I felt the wedge in my throat, the crack in my soul, this toxic hole inside of me I wanted to fill with something else. Something good. With Kieran.
Unfortunately, Luca took that moment to return with a fresh coat of paint on his face and a new shirt with no hint of blood on it. “It’s time to go,” he said, a gun resting lazily on his thigh.
“What’s the plan here, Luca? You hand us over to your brother and he kills us?”
“The deal is everyone gets what they want,” he lifted the gun. “Now move or die here.”
I waited for Kieran. For a moment, I thought he’d changed his mind, but then he plucked the portable light from the ground, handed me my bag, and took the lead. As we walked back down the corridor, everything behind us was swallowed by the darkness. Even Luca. The dark flanked us too. It was everywhere. I took Kieran’s hand. He squeezed gently and I felt safe all over again.
I needed to grow a pair.
We came out into the clearing where I’d entered. The night was cool, quiet. Every able body should’ve made it to the castle already. I hoped Micah and Ashton were okay.
We reached the parking lot and Luca directed us to his black SUV.
Kieran cursed under his breath as we got closer to the vehicle and to Wren, leaning up against it.
Luca lowered the gun and huffed “You were supposed to remain inside the trunk space.”
“Yeah, well, you were taking too long.”
Wren knew? My head felt twisted up inside. “What the ever-loving fuck?”
“This wasn’t the plan,” Luca said to Wren.
“No,” Wren said, lowering his eyes to the collar around my neck. “That wasn’t the plan.” He gestured to my collar. “Let him go.”
Luca grabbed me and used me as a shield as he lifted the gun first to Wren then to Kieran. “ He was always the plan. I make good with my brother and take him. And you morons save him. Or not. That’s the plan.”
Kieran looked two seconds away from bursting.
“Luca,” Wren started, trying to diffuse the situation and keep my head intact. “We all want the same thing.”
“And what’s that?” Kieran snapped.
Wren looked wounded. As if Kieran should’ve known all along what Wren wanted. I even knew and I hadn’t been with the Ark Boys that long.
“Vengeance,” Wren answered. “This is how we get to Alessandro.”
“And you trust this piece of shit instead of me?” Kieran kept the pain behind his heart, but I could see it in his eyes. The betrayal.
“It all happened too fast.”
“I’m in,” I said despite not really having much of a choice with the gun and the collar Luca had on me. “Whatever you need, Wren.”
Wren gave me a tight nod, relief in his eyes. Then he looked at Kieran. “And what’s the plan?” Kieran asked. “Go in and kill everyone and save the day?”
“We’ve had worse plans,” a small smile lit Wren’s face. I saw the adoration he had for Kieran, the need for his acceptance. Kieran would go to the ends of the world for his brothers.
“Yeah. I’m in. If this fucker removes the collar.”
Luca growled. I didn’t blame him. Wren and Kieran didn’t look like they’d let him walk out of this alive. My head exploding notwithstanding. “It’s not live,” Luca said. I could hear the eyeroll. He shoved me forward. Instinctively I rubbed my skin under the leather. While I believed Luca, it didn’t look like Kieran did. “The collar stays on. Alessandro must believe I have him contained or this won’t work. My brother might be insane, but he’s not stupid.”
“Runs in the family,” Kieran mumbled.
“Hey,” Wren said, feigning hurt.
We climbed into the car.
From the front seat, Wren turned to Kieran. “And you want an explanation.” Wren pulled out the coat tag I’d gotten at Renew for Jack’s coat.
Kieran looked to me for an explanation, but I had nothing and shrugged. “You care to share what you have there?” Kieran asked.
“It wasn’t the coat that had the evidence, but the tag. Graham found a video file in here.”
Just then, my door opened, and Fox pushed me to the center with his hip as he climbed in. “Yeah, I’m not sitting this one out. We got ten to make it to the gates before Casera closes it. We only have this small window of time. Isn’t that right, Spawn of Satan?”
Luca glared at Wren. “Uh, he found me and dragged me out of the trunk space. Did I fail to mention that part?” Wren explained sheepishly.
Growling, Luca put the SUV in drive. Then he floored it. We made it out of Arcadia and onto blacktop without trouble. My brain was rushing through all the questions I had, but Kieran beat me to it.
“Can someone please, for the love of Satan himself, tell me what the plan is?”
Fox glanced at me. Something I’d never seen before in his eyes. Compassion. For me. I had become used to Fox’s hatred. This new look freaked me out.
“Alessandro is expecting me and Tomás. Since no one, not even Maddox, knows he’s still here, he only has four on his protective detail. It’s a perfect time to take him. If the three stooges kill the four guards, you can have Alessandro.” This he said to Wren. “If you fail, you all die.”
“Oh, not a bad plan at all, Wren,” Kieran said, slapping Wren upside the head. Wren didn’t have a chance to duck. “If we die, I am going to make your dead life a living hell in Hell.”
Fox snorted a laugh.
Kieran glared at him.
“What?” Fox asked on the defensive. “I never thought you were so funny.”
By Kieran’s expression I really didn’t think he was joking.