Chapter 17
Seventeen
Grace
W hat…the actual fuck just happened?
With my heart racing a mile a minute, I’m staring—no, gawking —at the door Conway just walked through. Stunned and utterly fucking speechless. I’m never speechless. I bring my hand up, pressing two fingers to my lips that are still tingling from that earth-shattering kiss, his spit still slick on them. What the hell was that? Who was that? Because it simply cannot be the same man who’s been avoiding me for the past four days.
I grab my phone out of the pocket on my dress, and with shaky hands, I send a text to Georgia and Charley, needing to talk this out now, and finally get this off my chest. Keeping this secret from them has been torture.
Me: 911—Meet me in Gemma’s room RIGHT NOW!
After turning around and making sure I look put together in the mirror, I leave the bathroom and beeline for the bedroom at the end of the hall. My heart hasn’t slowed a bit since Conway left, and I’m not sure if it ever will. I’m the first one in the room, but it doesn’t take long for Georgia and Charley to follow suit, shutting the door behind them.
“Are you okay?” Georgia asks, concern etched into her features as she and Charley approach me.
“No,” I blurt out, then shake my head and sigh. “I mean, yes. Or fuck, I don’t know.”
“What’s wrong?” The question comes from Charley, but before I can answer, the door opens, startling all of us as our heads snap in that direction, and we watch Gemma walk in.
“What the hell is this and why wasn’t I invited?” she demands to know, a hand planted on her hip and the beginning of a smirk tugging on her lips.
“We don’t know,” Georgia says with a shrug, bringing her gaze back to me. “Grace texted us 911.”
“Sorry,” I murmur to my beautiful sister and the guest of honor tonight. “I didn’t want to bother you with my shit on your special night.”
“Oh, please,” she huffs, plopping down on the bed beside me. “You’re never a bother, and besides, this saved me from having to talk to Everett’s co-worker again. She’s such a sweet lady, but Christ, is she dull.”
“Now, spill,” Charley nudges, climbing on the other side of the bed as Georgia follows.
Nerves flutter around in my stomach, and there’s a lump in my throat. I don’t know why I’ve waited so long to tell them. Maybe because I feel like an idiot catching feelings for him so quickly, after having a completely unrequited teenage girl crush on him for so many years. Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I take in a deep breath through my nose and decide to just go for it as I exhale through my mouth.
I tell them everything—the bickering that somehow turned into flirting, the passes he made at me before we ever did anything, the almost kiss at his house, the fooling around…everything—and I’m not even sure I take a breath the entire time the words spill out of my mouth. I certainly don’t let any of them get a word in edge wise, and by the time I get to the part of him asking me out in the bathroom before kissing me senseless not even ten minutes ago, all three of them look equal parts shocked and intrigued. None of them say anything for a long, tense moment, their jaws on the floor.
Finally, Georgia whistles before saying, “Hol-y shit, Grace.”
I wince, twisting my hands together in my lap. “I don’t know what it says about me and my choices that you, of all people, are rendered speechless.”
She snorts. “I’m speechless because I’m impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you, little sis.”
My eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean?”
“You had such a crush on him when you were younger, and then you drunkenly tried to kiss him and he didn’t let you. I never thought you’d go there again.”
“I’m with Georg,” Gemma cuts in. “But I gotta say, I’m a proud sister today. Good for you.”
I scoff, looking between my two sisters. “You guys act like I’ve been secretly in love with him the entire time, like I’ve been devising my plan of attack all these years. It’s been fourteen years since that night I tried to kiss him.”
“But who’s counting,” Georgia teases under her breath, cutting me off.
Ignoring her, I continue. “I’ve long since gotten over that and my teenage crush.”
Charley holds up a hand, her icy-blue eyes meeting mine. “Are we just going to skate over the part where you told us he spanked you and you called him ‘Daddy’?” Looking at my sisters, she giggles and adds, “Because I, for one, would like to go back to that for a minute.”
I groan loudly, covering my face with my hands, feeling my cheeks heat. “Can we not, please? I don’t know what got into me.” Dropping my hands into my lap, my gaze finds Charley’s again. “I’ve never called somebody that in bed. Ever . Or been spanked.”
“It’s fucking hot, Grace,” she says. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Were you into it? The spanking and the Daddy thing?”
My face grows impossibly hotter, and I’m sure it’s red as a tomato. “Yes,” I admit quietly, covering my face again as I fall back onto the mattress. “God, yes.”
“Charley’s right,” Georgia murmurs before I turn to glance up at her. “We all have our kinks; it’s nothing to be ashamed about. And frankly, I’m not seeing the problem here. You’re two consenting adults, who both seem to be enjoying what you’re doing.”
“Have you met me?” I gawk at her. “I’m incapable of doing casual, Georg. I’m setting myself up for failure.”
“Who says anything about casual?” Gemma asks. “From what you told us, Conway asked you on a date.”
“Conway doesn’t do relationships,” I murmur. “We have all heard about his dating history.”
“People can change, though,” she presses. “He may not have been interested in dating before, but maybe he is now.”
“I don’t buy it.” Pushing myself off the bed, I turn and face them, shaking my head. “He only asked me out because I said that’s what I wanted. He probably thinks it’s the only way to get in my pants again. I’m not okay with being in some fucked-up situationship with him that constantly leaves me confused and gives me whiplash. No way. Not to mention Blakely and his daughter are best friends. That would be so confusing for them, and then when it didn’t work out, they’d be crushed. I can’t do that to them. I can’t do that to me.”
Georgia sighs and rises off the bed, walking over to me. Hands on my shoulders, she leans down and looks me in the eye. “Listen, as somebody who has zero interest in relationships or feelings, and who doesn’t see that ever changing for me, I get where you’re coming from. Your concerns are valid, and you have every right to try to protect yourself, especially after how you’ve been hurt in the past.”
“Why do I sense a ‘but’ coming?” I groan.
“Because there is a ‘but’ coming.” Her lips tug into a grin, but her eyes soften in the way they rarely do. “ But if you want my opinion, which I’m assuming you do since you brought us in here, I’m leaning toward Conway being genuine in asking you out. Obviously, I don’t know him as well as you do, but it seems like a whole lot of trouble to go through to get laid again. And again, as somebody who can relate to the casual way Conway has been with partners, I can say with certainty, I would never go through the effort to take somebody on a legitimate date if all I was after was some ass. Not when I can find somebody else who’s down for some no-strings fun. And as for Blakely and his Willow, I’m sure the idea of opening your kid up to something that could potentially confuse or hurt them is scary, but Grace, you can’t hold yourself back from what makes you happy or what feels good simply because of a situation you made up in your head that could happen. We cannot live our life based on hypotheticals.”
“Never thought I’d see the day I agree with Georgia on anything that had to do with dating and sex, but she’s absolutely right,” Gemma murmurs, then breathes out a laugh. Everything aside, Conway is a man. Men hardly ever go out of their way to do anything with or for a woman unless they have feelings for her. A man, especially one as attractive as Conway, who has no trouble getting laid, wouldn’t put in that kind of effort unless he meant it. Also, as somebody who had those very same concerns about her child not that long ago, I can say, with experience, Georgia also hit the nail on the head with that one. That’s not to say your worries aren’t valid, because they absolutely are. But there’s also no way of knowing if you two will crash and burn, and who’s to say this thing with Conway couldn’t turn out to be something really special, something worth taking a risk on?
Chewing on my cheek again, a strong wave of emotion floods my system, and I have to swallow around the lump in my throat and blink past the pressure building behind my eyes. Why the hell am I suddenly so emotional? This is so silly and stupid.
“What if you’re wrong, though?” I ask before I can stop myself, my voice cracking, betraying the intense way I’m feeling.
“We could be,” Charley says as she stands up and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling me into her chest. She rests her cheek on the top of my head as she goes on. “But you’re never going to know unless you try. Give it a chance. Let him take you out on a nice, expensive date, bang the Daddy, have all the leg-shaking orgasms, and give Conway the chance to prove himself to you one way or another. Whether that’s proving he’s interested in taking this further or proving that he’s only after spanking your fine ass again.”
Laughter bubbles up my throat as I blink, letting a tear spill down my cheek.
Charley presses a kiss to the top of my head before cupping my face and wiping away the tear with her thumb. “Either way, you’ll never know for sure if you don’t try.”
“Thank you, guys,” I murmur, as I look between the three women I can’t imagine living without.
Gemma and Georgia get up and join Charley in giving me a big, tight bear hug that I didn’t even know I needed until now before we leave the room and get back to the party. Music is playing from a speaker in the corner, and as I’m grabbing myself another drink, I spot Conway on the other side of the room. Willow and Blakely are with him, and the three of them are holding hands as they dance to the upbeat pop song that’s playing. It’s one I’ve heard Blakely play dozens of times in her room. The girls are giggling, throwing their heads back as they spin around. Conway’s smile is so big, the creases around his eyes deepen, and I can’t seem to look away. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him dance or look so carefree before, and there’s something so breathtakingly beautiful and raw about getting to witness it in a room full of people.
I think back to what Charley said. She’s right—they’re all right, and I know it—but the idea of opening myself up to somebody, while knowing there’s a chance I could get hurt again, terrifies me. It’s paralyzing, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get past that fear.
The song ends and the girls run off together, still hand in hand, and I look away before Conway has a chance to find me watching him. Shortly after, Everett holds up his champagne glass, clinking the side to get everybody’s attention. Like always, he only has eyes for Gemma, and it makes my heart soar for her. That man loves her so fiercely and openly.
“Gemma, since the very minute you walked up to me on that pier, I knew you were it for me. Seeing you that day, talking and laughing with you, even if only for a short while, was everything I needed at that moment. Moving my entire life to Blossom Beach was scary, but I knew this town held something special and important for me, even if I didn’t know what.” His voice breaks as he wipes away my sister’s tears. “It quickly became clear that something was you and Sutton.”
With that, he looks toward my nephew and wraps an arm around his shoulder, tugging Sutton into his side as I watch more than hear him whisper into his ear, “I love you, buddy.”
Sutton looks like he’s doing his best to not cry right alongside his mom, but his eyes get misty despite his best efforts.
“You two and Rosie are my entire world,” Everett says before looking over at all of us. “Who decided to sleep right through this whole speech,” he announces with a chuckle that’s contagious before returning his gaze to his fiancée. “I cannot wait to have the honor of being your husband, Gemma, and I plan to spend every single day for the rest of our lives showing you how madly in love with you I am, and how lucky I am to feel your love.”
As he continues, I think about how all I want is a love like they share. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, since I was little. I want somebody who declares to an entire room, proudly, how in love with me they are. How they can’t imagine a day without me. I’m ready to find my person. I want it so bad it hurts sometimes, especially because the older I get, the more I wonder if a love like that is even in the cards for me. I wonder if maybe I’m simply not destined to experience a true, great, all-consuming love.
For the first time since Everett started giving a toast, I allow myself to shift my eyes to the man across the room who I’ve been trying to avoid. My heart leaps into my throat, skipping a beat, when I find him already watching me. Leaning a shoulder against the entryway, with his hands shoved into the pockets of his navy-blue slacks, Conway’s dark, intense eyes lock onto mine, sending a shiver down my spine.
Was that a coincidence? Did he just happen to look over at me at the same exact time I looked at him…or was he watching me this whole time? A swarm of butterflies flutter inside of me, making it hard to breathe, but instead of the kitty butterflies he normally gives me, it’s higher. Different.
As soon as everybody starts to clap, I look away, joining them, but I spend the rest of the evening thinking over what he said to me in the bathroom, the way he kissed me, and everything my sisters and Charley said in the room. And after I get home and get the kids to bed, relaxing in my bed with a glass of wine, it hits me what that feeling was when Conway was watching me…
Heart butterflies.