Chapter 38
Thirty-Eight
Grace
M y stomach bottoms out as I watch him stroll through the entrance of the bakery. It’s been a slow afternoon, which I’m thankful for now. Approaching the counter, his gaze lifts and meets mine, and I’m more than a little taken aback when he flashes me a grin.
Stomach in knots, I swallow down the sour taste in the back of my throat as I force a smile on my face. “Cole, hi. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“In town, or at your bakery?” he asks with a chuckle, his tone light.
“Well, both, I suppose.” I shrug. “But I meant here, at the bakery.”
Cole nods, the smile fading a little, and I can tell he’s uncomfortable. That makes two of us, buddy. “Yeah, I was hoping we could talk.” He glances over his shoulder, scanning the lobby, before looking back at me. “If you have time. I’m sure you’re busy.”
A bowling ball sized lump sinks to my gut, causing a wave of nausea to hit me. It’s been a week since Conway and I got back from New York, and I knew I would have to face Cole and deal with his wrath eventually, but a part of me was hoping it wouldn’t be this soon. At dinner on our last night, after we made love, Conway told me about the talk he had with his son about us and assured me Cole is fine with it, but after the harsh message he sent me after he found out, I’m having a hard time believing that.
Not that I need Cole to be fine with it by any means—we’re all adults, Cole and I dated a long time ago, and Conway has made it more than clear that he wants to be with me, with or without Cole’s blessing—but it would be nice to not have this dark cloud of tension hanging over us.
“Sure.” I nod. “Let me grab somebody to watch the register.”
After Sara Beth comes up, I gesture Cole over to a table near the window out in the lobby. It feels safer than sitting in my office, but that’s only because I’m banking on Cole not being an asshole and causing a scene in public. Could very well blow up in my face, but I’m a chickenshit who has been dreading this moment, so it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Taking a seat across from him, I clench my jaw while I wait for him to say something. My skin crawls, and I wouldn’t even be mad if the ground opened and swallowed me up. I mean, he literally saw his dad fucking me on top of a washing machine. This is so awkward, I hate it.
Glancing around again, presumably to make sure nobody can hear us, Cole meets my gaze, his jaw tight as he exhales a breath through his nose and mutters, “Fuck, this is more awkward than I thought it would be.”
“My thoughts exactly.” I snort.
Heaving a sigh, he says, “Listen, Grace, I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Brow furrowed, I ask, “Sorry for what, exactly?”
In all the years I’ve known Cole, he has never been the type to apologize. For anything. Sure, when I walked in on him cheating on me in college, he threw out a few of them, but they very much were not genuine, and they were clearly meant to pacify me.
“Well, for a lot.” Huffing out a humorless laugh, Cole drops his gaze to where his hands sit on the table. He’s picking at the skin around his thumb, telling me he’s obviously uncomfortable. I don’t say anything, and after a few tense moments, he looks over at me again. “But mainly, I’m sorry for the way I treated you when we were dating. I treated you like shit and took you for granted, and you didn’t deserve any of that.”
Wow. Didn’t see that coming.
I don’t know what to say, so instead, I say nothing.
“I know it means nothing now, but that girl really meant nothing to me. And I’d like to believe I was truly in love with you but, to be honest, I don’t know if that would be the truth. Sure, I cared about you a lot. How could I not? We were together for so long, but love ? I don’t know if I even know what that means.” Cole huffs. “Pathetic, right? I’m married , and I’m telling you I don’t know what being in love means.”
A pang of sadness hits me in the chest for him.
Goddamnit, Grace. Now is not the time to have empathy.
“It’s not pathetic,” I say, unable to help myself. “I’m sure there are plenty of people our age who have never experienced love, and I’m sure it’s easy to confuse comfort and infatuation with love. I’m sure you love your wife, or well, soon-to-be ex-wife, I guess, even if you’re not in love with her. That’s not to say you won’t ever experience what it’s like to be in love.”
“But you think I don’t deserve that, huh?”
My face twists up as I sit back in the chair. “Cole, I’m not going to stroke your ego, and I’m also not going to lie to you either. I think everybody is deserving of love, but you have a lot of work to do within yourself before you should try dating anybody again.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to see that.” His shoulders sag and his gaze drops to his hands again. “I’m also sorry for the things I said after I found out about you and my dad.”
What is it with these Levine men and their ability to render me speechless lately? Obviously, for very different reasons, but Jesus. Never in my life did I think I’d hear an apology from Cole, let alone two in one day.
“I appreciate that,” I murmur, the discomfort creeping up again. “For what it’s worth, Conway never wanted you to find out that way.”
“I know that, but what I don’t get is why he wouldn’t just tell me about it from the beginning.”
Blowing out a breath, I say, “Well, I can’t speak for him, but my guess is maybe he wanted to wait to tell you what we were because we weren’t even sure what we were for a while. But also, your dad loves you so much, Cole, and I know he’d never want to hurt you. It’s entirely possible there was a small part of him that was nervous to tell you. Nervous you wouldn’t forgive him. And I would imagine that would crush him.”
Cole chuckles dryly, swiping a hand down his face. “You know, it’s really fucking weird talking to you about this shit.”
Breathing out a laugh, because he’s not wrong, I say, “It’s weird for me too, and we don’t have to. You don’t owe me anything, Cole. Not your friendship, not your acceptance. But I do think you owe it to yourself, and to your dad, to not let this ruin your relationship.”
Quiet for a minute, Cole chews on the inside of his cheek, a contemplative expression on his face. “He’s a good man,” he says, meeting my gaze. “My dad. The best man I’ve ever known, actually.”
Attempting to swallow down my emotions, I murmur, “I agree, he is a great man.”
“You deserve somebody great.” Pausing for a moment, he says, “Even though I’m sure we never would’ve made it, you still deserved more, and you still do. And my dad…” A small smile tugs on the corner of his mouth. “I can honestly say you’re it for him. I’ve never seen him be with anybody the way he is with you.”
My chest squeezes, a lump forming in my throat. Hearing him say that, hearing the sincerity of his words, it brings tears to my eyes before I can stop them.
“My dad is really fucking in love with you, Grace,” Cole continues. “And my guess is, you’re in love with him too.”
“I am,” I blurt out, vision blurry. Thank god, I didn’t wear any make-up today. “I know it’s weird for you, but I love him so much.”
“It’s not that weird,” he murmurs. “Not now that I’ve sat with it and talked to you both. The way I reacted was selfish. Like you said, I’ve gotta get my shit together and work on me for a while. But I’m happy for you both. You have my blessing.”
My throat tightens as his words sink in. “You should tell your dad that,” I tell him. “It would mean a lot to him. And even though I wasn’t seeking your approval, hearing you say that means a lot to me too, Cole.”
“Just don’t expect me to call you mom.” Cole barks out a laugh, clearly cracking himself up.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I can’t help but chuckle with him as I roll my eyes and stand up from my chair. “Alright, think that’s enough chatting for today. I’ve gotta get back to work.”
Once he’s gone, I replay the whole conversation, a sense of relief coursing through me. After our weekend in New York, I knew Conway and I were going to be together regardless, but knowing Cole is okay with it, that I don’t have to worry about Conway one day resenting me for his relationship with his son, feels good.
One down, three kids to go, I think to myself as I finish up with work and head out to my car. Cole’s timing is funny, and a little bit ironic, since Conway and I planned on sitting Willow and my kids down to tell them about us tonight. After I pick Beau and Blakely up from Gemma’s, I drive to my house, Conway’s truck already parked in my driveway. Pulling up beside him, I turn off the car as Blakely squeals and bursts out of the car, clearly excited to see her friend as if they didn’t just spend the whole day at school together. Climbing out, my gaze lifts to Conway as he rounds the front of his truck, a couple of pizza boxes in hand.
“Cole stopped by the bakery,” I murmur quietly so the kids don’t hear. Even behind his sunglasses, I see the furrow to his brow and the start of a scowl, so I hurry and add, “It went surprisingly well. I’ll tell you about it tonight once we’re done with this.”
Jaw tight, Conway nods.
“Ready to do this?” I ask, arching my eyebrow as my mouth twists into a smile.
“Sin, I was born ready for this,” he replies with a straight face and his chest puffed out, causing laughter to bubble out of me.
Once everyone is inside, I grab some plates and pass pizza out to the kids while Conway works on getting drinks for everyone. My dining room table isn’t quite big enough for everyone, but we squeeze together and make it work anyway. Conway and I went back and forth about having this conversation at his place instead, since his table is bigger, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that with Cole there, given that, up until this afternoon, I was still unsure where he stood.
Sharing a look with Conway, my stomach twists with nerves. I’m sure the kids will be fine, but this is the first time I’ve ever introduced them to someone, and it’s a big deal. Not that I’m introducing them, per se, since they’ve known Conway for years, but telling them we’re dating feels scary.
As if Conway can sense my nerves, he clears his throat and takes the lead. “Hey, guys.” The kids all look over at him at the same time, waiting to hear what he has to say. Here goes nothing. “Grace and I have something we wanted to talk to y’all about, if that’s okay.”
Beau turns his head toward me, gaze curious. “Is everything okay, Mom?” he asks, and my heart squeezes at his concern.
“Everything is more than fine, babe.” Glancing over at Conway, I nod, silently telling him I’m putting on my big girl panties, before looking over at my son, then Blakely, and finally, Willow. “I know you guys are aware that Conway and I are paired together on the PTA, and that’s why we’ve been spending so much time at each other’s houses lately.” None of them say anything, just continue to stare at me, so I decide to keep going. “Well, things between us have shifted over time, and we’ve realized that we care for one another on a deeper level than friends.”
“What does that mean?” The question comes from Beau as he gawks at me, a half-eaten slice of pizza dangling from his hand.
“It means that your mom and I have decided to be together romantically, bud,” Conway cuts in, his eyes soft as they take in my son.
A quick look around the table to each of the kids, I know they’re lost, and I can’t help but chuckle at how he worded that. “What he means,” I start, all four sets of eyes shifting toward me, “is that we are boyfriend and girlfriend.”
My lip twitches at how juvenile the phrasing is, but I know it’s one they’ll understand. I see Conway smiling in my periphery, and I’m sure he’s thinking the same.
“You know how Gemma and Everett are together?” I ask, looking between Beau and Blakely as they nod.
“And how your mom is with Tad?” Conway adds, glancing at his daughter while she also nods. “Me and Grace are like both of those. Like she said, boyfriend and girlfriend.”
Crickets. None of the kids say anything, and after a moment, I start to get nervous.
“I know this is a lot to take in,” I offer. “I’m sure you guys have questions, and maybe even don’t know how you feel about it yet, and that’s okay. We’re both here to answer anything and be here for you three however we can.”
Willow and Blakely both glance at Beau, then at each other, something passing between the two girls that I can’t decipher before they both burst into laughter.
Brow furrowed and my heart in my throat, my gaze darts over to Conway at the other end of the table, noting he looks as confused as I feel. “Care to share what’s so funny, girls?” I ask.
The two of them giggle some more before Blakely looks over at me and says, “Bruh, that’s old news.”
My gaze flicks over to Conway again before going back to my daughter. “Okay, first, not your bruh.” That earns me a laugh from all three kids. “And second, what exactly do you mean, it’s old news?” Proving just how much she is, in fact, my daughter, Blakely rolls her eyes before looking at Willow again, both of them giggling.
“Alright,” Conway cuts in, keeping his tone light as he points to Blakely. “Out with it, missy.”
The scowl on his face that’s fake, based on the way he’s clearly biting back a grin, makes the girls laugh again before Blakely finally says to him, “We saw you kissing my mom in the kitchen.”
“You did?” I ask, my pulse racing. “When?”
Blakely shrugs. “I dunno. It was a while ago.”
“Okay…” Conway and I share a look across the table. I don’t really know what to make of that, so glancing at the kids, I ask, “And so, how do you guys feel about Conway and I being together?”
“Are you kidding?” Blakely blurts out. “Willow and I get to be sisters ! That is so cool!”
“The coolest!” Willow adds.
“Um, okay. Well, that’s good. I’m happy you two think it’s the coolest .” Glancing at my son, I ask, “What about you, Beau? How are you feeling about all of this? And it’s more than okay if you aren’t sure yet.”
Mouth curling into a smile, he shrugs. “Guess I’m with them,” he says, gesturing toward his sister and Willow. “It’s cool.”
My eyebrows shoot up, a grin sliding into place. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. But I don’t want to share a room with either of them.” Conway barks out a laugh at that, and I can’t help but join him. Beau’s looks from me to Conway, eyebrows pinched. “I’m serious,” he adds, which somehow makes me laugh harder.
“I know you are, babe,” I assure him. “We aren’t moving in together. That’s a pretty big step, and we aren’t there just yet, but I promise you, when we do get there, we aren’t going to ask you to share your room.”
Slouching back into the chair, Beau heaves a sigh like this was a genuine concern for him. “Okay, good. Then it’s cool.”
“Well, glad everyone can agree that it’s cool,” I quip.
A moment later, the kids get back to eating as the girls jump into an animated discussion about something that happened at school today with one of their friends, and just like that, it’s done. The kids know, they think it’s cool, and we’re moving on. My gaze slides over to Conway, finding him already watching me, a smirk tugged on his lips, and I know exactly what’s going through his mind, because it’s the same thing I’m thinking—that we were worried for nothing, that I spent this past week stressed and obsessing over how we were going to break it to them for no reason.
Yeah, that tracks.