Chapter 25
Olivia
Shit, did I just tell him that he’s the only reason I laugh. How pathetic does that sound? Why would I say something like that?
I try to refocus on the scene around me.
This house is old, but beautiful in the weirdest way.
The wood floors are original and in immaculate condition, aside from some needing a quick sweep.
I swear there used to be carpet throughout the living room and two bedrooms but it must’ve been ripped up.
I never understood why people put wall-to-wall carpet in houses that have the perfect wooden floors.
Now we’re standing here in his unpainted master bedroom, covered in white paint, intertwined with each other.
This is not what friends do. Friends help each other paint, get food for one another, listen to the stories and the pain.
Friends do not,bury their heads into each other, kiss each other deeply, passionately, and full of love.
Noah led me throughout his new house describing all of the changes he’s looking to make over the next few months, and I could feel his excitement and eagerness to complete the project.
It brings a smile to my face that I don’t even try to hide because I couldn’t be more proud of him.
He’s doing the hard work to create the best life for him after the Army.
As we got toward the back of the house I feel my body start to tense, my body temperature rising and the butterflies start swarming in my abdomen.
I was so nervous walking into Noah’s bedroom, afraid of making the same mistake we made a few nights ago.
Okay, not that hooking up with Noah was a mistake because it was amazing but I live over two hours away and it doesn’t make sense to get attached again.
It would be pointless to fall back in love with this man who broke my heart but just as quickly put it back together.
However, hearing the hurt in his voice about Jarred and what happened made it more clear that this was exactly where I needed to be. Despite everything that’s happened between Noah and me, no one should go through heartache, loss, and grief alone especially the type of loss that Noah experienced.
His best friend was killed in the line of duty, essentially right in front of him.
I can’t even fathom what that must feel like, the sadness, the anger, potential guilt, and all the additional emotions that are tied to that kind of struggle.
But between the two of us, Noah has always been the sunshiney one, the happy-go-lucky, outgoing golden retriever that everyone knows and loves. He’s known for picking everyone up when they are down, literally everyone.
He once picked up another player on the rival soccer team after we won the state championship game. He never lets anyone suffer or drown in their feelings alone.
Yet, here, talking about Jarred, his shoulders sunk, his head pointed toward the floor, and when he finally looks at me his eyes began to water.
He’s put in a lot of work to get to the point where he can talk about what happened so I have to return him the same kindness that he has given everyone over the years.
Trying to find the best way to take Noah by surprise but also make him laugh is not going to be an easy task. We’re in an empty house, aside from a tin of paint. Taking in my surroundings, I realize I have a total of two options, either kiss Noah or splash him with the white paint on the floor.
There is a part of me deep down that wants nothing more than to reach up, and bring his soft lips to mine once again but I settle on the latter.
I have one opportunity to do this, to get the paint and Noah without ruining the floor.
I’ve always been incredibly clumsy so I need to time it perfectly.
I need to be quick but swift, like a shadow.
Easy. Pull him close, use our connection as a distraction as we slide over toward the plastic, and as I pull my head away from his chest, leaving one arm on his forearm, I sweep my free hand into the tin of paint and quickly place a handprint on the side of Noah’s face.
He gasps.
Audibly.
I know immediately I’ve made the right choice. His jaw is left hanging open from the shock but quickly turns into a devious smirk as he proceeds to splatter me back. Thankfully, I'm wearing my old worn out travel pants, so being covered in paint is not a problem.
Without even thinking I lean up and kiss Noah hard as if the world is ending and this is the last kiss I’ll ever have.
His lips are soft and welcoming, but I can also feel his initial shock.
I want to run my hands all over his body but settle for placing one on his chest, the other grabbing the bottom of his shirt.
He kisses me back, full of desire and need, placing one hand on the small of my back, and the other firmly on my ass, pulling me closer and kissing me deeper.
His hand moves so they are both under me and lifting me to his chest. I wrap my legs around him, laughing as he places a kiss at the nape of my neck as we walk across the room toward the wall and the big windows overlooking the backyard.
This man is good at multitasking and knows all the right spots.
By the time he puts me down, I can't handle it anymore. I need more. More of Noah and his body. I'm pulling at the bottom of his shirt wanting it off. Now.
His smirk turns devilish as he tears the shirt off over his head and starts at mine. My sweatshirt is off in a matter of seconds, exposing my burgundy lace bralette above my high-waisted yoga pants. I reach for his belt and jeans, wondering why this man never wears comfy clothes.
We have hooked up twice since I’ve been home and I still haven’t taken a moment to really look at his beautiful dick.
Spinning so his back is to the wall, I drop to my knees, slowly gripping his dick at its base, taking it all in.
He leans against the wall, head back, with one hand in my hair and the other on the top of his head.
I smirk knowing he has completely lost control and I’m going to fully unravel him.
“Fuck, Ollie,” he bites out with a bit of a moan. “You haven’t even started yet and I can feel the tension building.”
Without saying a word, I slide his dick into my mouth, swirling my tongue across it, looking up as I take every inch.
“You look amazing with your pretty little lips wrapped around my cock,” he says, regaining control and taking command of the moment.
Releasing him I smirk and say, “I want you to fuck my mouth until I choke…”
Before I can finish that sentence, he slams his hips forward as deep as he can go, and I feel the build-up in his body, his muscles tensing from pleasure and he begins to reach climax.
Right when I think he’s about to let it all go and let me get a full taste of him, he pulls out entirely, drops in front of me and pushes me onto my back.
“I’m not finishing until you are good and satisfied, baby,” he says, planting a kiss on my neck and sliding his hands to the band of my pants, sliding them down over my ass and throwing them across the room.
He looks down at my pussy with a deep hunger in his eyes.
“I bet you’re already wet for me,” he says as he slides between my knees pressing his finger against my clit. I shake my head yes in reply waiting for his next moves but the pressure of his finger has me already writhing my hips.
“I knew you would be.”
Noah slides his tongue up my slit and sucks on my clit in a way I didn’t know was possible.
This perfect pattern of licking and sucking that keeps me on the edge of wanting more.
He curls his finger inside me to find the exact spot to send me into oblivion but he only keeps it there for a minute, giving me the pleasure I so desperately want, but taking it away an instant later.
“I swear to God, if you do not fuck me right now. I am going to walk to my car, get my vibrator, and show you how it’s done myself,” I growl, after the fifth time.
He just chuckles, coming up for air, and smirking at me.
“That sounds like a fun time, but I want to feel you come around my cock, so you’re staying right where you are.”
Stubborn as a mule and determined to no longer wait another second I start to prop myself up to leave when I am met with large hands and broad shoulders pushing me back down, tearing my arms out from under me.
My hands are slid from my sides up over my head and held in place.
His big brooding chest is above mine, staring down at me.
“I told you to stay where you are.” My entire body quivers at his new dominating tone. It’s hot. I have never seen Noah be so stern and in charge and it makes me wonder what would happen if I disobey him again.
Not moving his hands from my wrists, he slides my knees wider and uses his free hand to bend one up onto his shoulder before sliding his dick against my entrance. I audibly whimper in anticipation, need, desire.
I fucking whimper but before I have the time to think too much about it, he plows into me.
“Shit, Noah, I’m close,” I moan, closing my eyes.
“Good, I don’t think I can last much longer with your tight pussy clenching around me. Let go, Ollie, come all over my dick,” he says as he pinches my clit one final time sending me over the edge, taking him with me.
???
Lying in a pile of arms and legs on the floor with Noah was not on the agenda for today, and I’m supposed to be back in Milwaukee already.
Caroline and Mason are going to be waiting for all the details.
I can’t help but roll my eyes and smile thinking about my friends and how they’ll not only want the details but all the juicy bits after they question me why I'm at least six hours later than I originally planned.
I know I need to leave, but this feels right. It feels like the part of me that has been lost and shoved deep down inside me is finally at peace. I want more time with Noah, not knowing when I’ll get this time again.
“Ollie,” he says quietly. There’s something about the way he says it that tells me he’s going to say something I don’t want to hear.
“No,” I say quickly. “Noah, we don't have to talk about it. I'm going back to Milwaukee today and you’re going to be here. There’s no point in adding more to it,” I finish, my voice cracking a little at the end.
He just nods, not saying anything, and rolls to wrap me in a hug. A hug that feels empty, feels like goodbye.
I shiver, partly because it's chilly, but mostly because this sucks.
The feeling of the walls closing in, trapping me, and taking out everyone I care about sitting like a black hole in my diaphragm.
Noah notices my shiver, and thinking I'm cold quickly hands me my sweatshirt and leggings to warm me up.
Little does he know there’s a part of me that’s breaking all over again.
Looking out the window, the sun is shining bright and high in the sky. My stomach grumbles and I quickly place my hand over my abdomen, as if that’ll silence the noise. It has to be around lunchtime and I didn’t eat breakfast this morning in a rush to leave.
Noah, shimmying into his jeans, glances over at me, and I feel my face heat with a little embarrassment as he asks, “Ollie, did you eat breakfast today?”
“No, I rushed out of the house to see you,” I reply, with a hint of spice to my tone.
Knowing full well he is about to call me out for not eating breakfast, because it's a well-known fact that I'm a monster when I don’t eat.
Which is why I always have some sort of breakfast packed for when I arrive at the office in the morning.
“Ollie,” he says with that disapproving stern mom look he does so well.
“I know. I know. I …” I interrupt before he takes me by the arm and walks me back out into the kitchen.
He places me on the counter next to the fridge.
He opens it and he hands me my favorite flavor of seltzer water, strawberry lemon, and pulls out a throw-away tin with an aluminum foil cover on it.
“Mom gave me food this morning to bring over for today and tomorrow,” he says, continuing to pull out the dishes, utensil and quickly heats what looks like a five-layer homemade lasagna. I can feel my mouth begin to water just looking at it.
We eat in almost silence, except for the slight noise of forks clinking on the plates and the occasional chewing sound. I jump up to start cleaning once we finish, bringing the dishes over to the sink.
“You don’t need to do that,” he says as I turn on the water.
“You cook, I clean,” I say in response. “Plus, I really don’t mind. Let me finish this and then we’ll paint the bedroom to get you caught up for today’s renovations,” I finish with a smirk.
He just shakes his head back and forth and heads back down the long hallway toward the bedroom to get everything ready to start.
The least I can do is help him by cleaning the dishes and painting the bedroom since he fed me and I distracted him from renovations for a few hours.
Plus, I need more time. My heart needs a few more hours with Noah.
We paint the entire bedroom in just under two hours and it looks like an entirely different room in the best way. Once we clean up the plastic, wash the paint brushes, and do a final sweep of the floor in the room I know it’s time for me to head back to the city. Time to say goodbye for now.
Noah walks me outside to my car and the driveway is starting to get mushy from the high sun we have had all day. Turning to face him, I feel my eyes start to water as I fight my bottom lip from quivering. I will not cry. Not in front of him today.
I’ve had a great week at home with him but our lives are in different places.
I have my life and my career in Milwaukee.
He’s starting his life here in Fisher Creek.
There’s too much distance, too much hurt, and too many what-ifs to start this again.
It's not fair to Noah or myself, and therefore he doesn’t get to see how much this trip has affected me.
He takes me into a hug and kisses the top of my head and we stand in silence for a moment before I get into my car and pull out of the driveway.
Looking in the rearview mirror, I see Noah standing there, hands in his pockets, looking down at the ground.
The snow piles surrounding him slowly engulf him as I begin to cry.
And I cry the entire way to Milwaukee.