Chapter 37
Noah
“What the actual fuck, Kneland?” I hear Cole yell as he comes barrelling into the weight room at the fire station. I put my weights down and stagger my steps to ensure I stay steady for what is about to happen.
Cole is going to kill me, and I’d say I don’t deserve it but I missed my date with Ollie on Friday and haven’t seen any of the Bennetts since.
Hopefully Carter isn’t with him, because then I might actually die.
We may be adults now but, to this day, Carter is still the most terrifying Bennett there is.
There is something about him, his dark demeanor, that keeps me on edge, and doing everything in my power to stay on his good side.
The door to the weight room is already open but judging by the way Cole just ran through the frame he was hoping to slam through it. I stay silent as he approaches and shoves me.
“Why did I just get off the phone with Liv, losing her absolute shit saying you stood her up on your date?” Another shove. Harder this time. A few of the guys put down their equipment to stand by. “I fucking vouched for you, and not even a month into it you do this shit again? What the fuck?”
I finally open my mouth to say something but he shoves me twice as hard as the first two times knocking me backward. This time, the guys jump in and grab Cole’s arms before he does it again.
“I deserve that,” is all I can bite out at first.
The glare Cole gives me is the equivalent of him taking a butcher knife and stabbing it into my ribcage and twisting.
“There is no excuse for not calling Olivia. I know that I fucked up. But before you beat the hell out of me which I will let you lLet me at least tell you why I missed our date. Please.” I feel like I'm begging my best friend to not dump me like a high schooler would.
The guys have let go of Cole’s arms and he turns his body so that it's half facing the door out of the weight room and half facing me, indicating to follow.
This is my favorite thing about him, he may be angry, he may want to kill me, but he has always been reasonable, level-headed, and thorough in getting all of the information.
I follow him out of the weight room and we settle into his office, where he pours each of us a cup of coffee.
He doesn’t sit behind his booming oak desk but in the dark red, leather swivel chairs facing the desk.
I'm grateful, because otherwise, it’s like I’M sitting in Principal Watson’s office all over again.
I take a moment to gather myself, sigh, and look down at my coffee before I begin.
“Shit, dude, that is fucked up. How are you?” Cole asks when I finish speaking.
He didn’t say a word the entire time I spoke, just listened and for that I'm grateful. If he had started asking questions midway through I don’t know if I could have finished telling him.
I may have gone through years and years of therapy but talking about this has never been easy and I don’t suspect it will get any easier now.
“I don’t know,” I reply. Because I don’t know how I am feeling.
I have not had time to process it, and I feel shitty about standing up Olivia.
I just want to go to her to explain everything and hold her in my arms. “She isn’t responding to any of my phone calls or text messages, so I'm going to drive out there to see her, and try to explain,” I add.
“She’s working today, she just finished lunch and gets off at seven tonight.
Go shower, and get out there. She will understand, Noah.
Go talk to her, don’t stress about the rest of the shift, go take care of yourself,” Cole says, and before he even finishes his sentence I'm out the door running to my car.
I know I fucked up. I know I should have called her, I should have let her know what was going on. But there wasn’t time, not until it was too late.
She hasn’t responded to any of my text messages or calls since Saturday, granted it's only Monday now, but still, after two days I figured she would say something; even if it was just to tell me to fuck off.
It's a super gloomy evening where the sky is full of dark gray clouds, the kind that makes you want to just curl up under a giant blanket and read a book. It almost looks like we’re just going to skip summer and fall and head straight back into the winter season where the dark clouds open into a cold snowstorm.
The weather clearly understands that today is going to be a rough day, facing Olivia after accidentally standing her up. One moment there’s blue sky, with light fluffy clouds in the air and the next it’s full of the dark clouds, making it appear like it is going to start a downpour any second.
It reminds me of the days when we were teenagers and Ollie wanted to spend the day with Cole and I, but we were young and preferred his “annoying” little sister stayed away. She would go from being a sunshiny high schooler, to a literal stormy gremlin and wouldn’t talk to us for days.
So, as I pull into the parking spot by her car at work, hoping to catch her before she leaves for home, I hope she’ll talk to me.
I back in next to her car, get out, and wait, leaning against my car. I last all of thirty seconds before I start pacing, the anxiety hitting me in every corner of my body.
She’ll listen, and understand and everything is going to be fine. I tell myself over and over.
“Noah? Why are you here?” I hear from behind me.
“Ollie,” I say, turning around. She’s stopped five feet away. I start to move toward her but she takes a step back and puts her hand up indicating for me to stop. She is trying to keep a distance. She doesn’t even have to say a word for me to know how hurt she is.
“I'm sorry,” I say, looking from her to the ground and back up to her.
“Okay,” she says. Okay so still mad. Good to know.
“Ollie” I begin to say before she cuts me off .
“You drove all the way here to tell me that you’re sorry.
I know you’re sorry. You’ve said it in every text message and voicemail you’ve left me since Saturday.
Has it occurred to you that I don’t want to talk to you?
” Her words sting, another gut punch. I can see her eyes getting watery, is it from anger? Pain? Sadness?
“Let me explain, Olivia, please,” I say, moving closer to her. “I didn’t mean to hurt you”.
“No, Noah. I don’t want to hear your excuses.
it's the same damn thing you did in Oklahoma. You don’t love me and you never did.
I'm done, Noah. I can’t go through this again.
So leave, go back to Fisher Creek. I don’t want to see you.
I don’t want to talk to you. Do not come to my place of work or my house again. ”
I freeze. I have no words. She turns away, gets in her car and drives away without looking back. I'm left standing there in the parking lot, mouth dropped, and all alone when I realize there is a tear running down my face.
Everything is not fine. Now I'm driving back to Fisher Creek. Broken. Utterly broken.