Bonus Epilogue - 3 years later
Noah
That day replays in my mind, like a movie constantly streaming. I rushed in there and dropped to one knee in front of her, hands on her forearms.
“What happened babe?”
She doesn’t answer me, but her body continues to tremble. And then I see it. The white stick with the little blue cross in the middle.
“Oh, Ollie.” I take her from the bench and into my lap. “It’s okay, we will figure everything out.”
“What about my practice? We aren’t ready for children yet.”
“We will figure it out. This is a good thing, you're going to be an amazing mom.”
We sit there in the bedroom, Ollie wrapped in my arms like a tortilla wraps around a burrito in silence for another few minutes. Secretly I'm ecstatic about this news. Knowing we decided to wait until everything felt more stable and consistent but I think this is the best news for us.
Except all I wanted to do was call you, to tell you the news to thank you for getting me here. And fuck man. This is hard. I want to say that I am over your death, that I have come to terms with losing you but I don’t think you ever come to terms with losing your best friend.
But I thought you should know.
I came home. I found Ollie. I went to therapy. I found a friendship with Cole again.
It wasn’t easy. She wasn’t willing to give me a chance immediately, she was shy and sheltered, with walls up protecting her heart.
Her heart that I tore out of her chest. That I broke, and was asking for a chance to peel off the bandaids and to show her that the love we shared all those years ago still exists.
That I loved her everyday for those ten years.
That I will continue to love her everyday.
When I thought I finally broke a piece of the wall down, when we had a chance to live the life we both deserved we found out that Dad was cheating on Mom, and everything spiraled out of control.
And you weren’t here.
Cole and I got into a fight.
You still weren’t here.
And I wondered if you really had any idea what you were talking about in your letter. Did I deserve this torture for not saving you, for hurting Ollie?
But she came back. She told me she loved me, and she always would.
She moved back to Fisher Creek and man you would love her.
She is strong, and independent but also passionate and fierce.
She is selfless in caring for me, her family and this entire community.
You’d be two peas in a pod, tearing this town apart and ganging up on me with all of your jokes.
Now we are going to be a family. I am going to have a child, to take care of and love with me entire heart, and I am terrified but excited. I know this is going to be hard. But everything in life that is worth it is hard.
I know you said, you know what it's like to be unhappy and alone.
To be unloved by those who you want to love you unconditionally.
But I thought you should know, Schmidty, you are loved.
I love you. I thank God, everyday for giving me a friend like you to push me to do the hard things.
Because I never would have come home. I never would have reached out to Ollie and I never would have found this amazing life that I continue to cherish day in and day out.
Thank you Jarred, for being my friend, for everything.
I just thought you’d like to know that I am happy, and I did everything.
“Noah, are you ready to go?” I hear, coming from down the hallway. We have finally finished the renovations of the house and I know she is in the soon to be nursey, planning how we are to going decorate it.
“Almost.” I cap my pen, wipe the single, silent tear that is creeping slowly down by face and fold the paper into perfect thirds before standing and walking over to the dark brown wooden built in bookshelves on the far side of the office.
“We can’t be late for this appointment,” she calls again.
Pulling out a small box, placing it on the desk I open it and look inside. The letter and dog tags sit perfectly inside. Placing the new letter inside, I smile to myself knowing that Jarred would be happy. He thrived off making everyone around him happy, even sacrificing his own to achieve that.
After returning the box to its designated spot on the shelf next to a half blurry photo of us leaving Fishy’s one night, I turn and see Ollie standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with on hand on her tiny round belly, that is just starting to show, with a beautiful smirk on her face.
“He’d be proud of you and happy to see this,” she says, waving me closer to her.
“I know,” I say, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her forehead.