Chapter Forty-Six Charlotte
Chapter Forty-Six
Charlotte
I watch in horror as Azrael circles Lucifer, his hands dropped to his sides, palms up, as if he’s about to summon his power and tear into him. I knew whatever happened between them was ancient, brutal, but I never expected that either of them would bleed for it in front of me.
“Azrael, I don’t think this is—”
“Quiet, Charlotte,” he snarls, silencing me immediately.
Tears prickle at the edges of my eyes, but I don’t allow them to fall.
I hurt him.
I know I did, and I’ve never been on the receiving end of Death’s anger before, but I can tell from the way he and Lucifer are glaring at one another that this isn’t about me.
This is about them.
About what happened to them.
The origin story I’d been hoping they’d tell me.
But not like this.
I want to scream it. I want to tell them that if they’d just stop fighting, they’d realize they love one another. But I stay quiet, swallowing it down, trying to make myself as small as possible as I retreat into the nearest corner of the room.
It’s something I used to do whenever my father would get angry with me, hide away until his rage had passed and I felt certain that he wouldn’t hurt me.
At least until the next time he lost control.
I can’t tell them what I want to say at the moment.
My own anger has caused enough hurt for today.
But I’m not worried for myself.
Or even about the wounds seeing them like this opens inside me.
I’m worried they’ll destroy any possibility of mending everything that’s been broken today.
But I’ve learned my lesson about coming between them, about interfering, so I sit on my knees, silently muttering as I clasp my hands in front of myself.
And pray.
I pray silently that they can use this to work out all the remaining hurt between them.
So that it doesn’t end like this.
Azrael prowls around Lucifer, circling him over and over like a predator, like he’s trying to decide how exactly he’s going to start this whole thing, and Lucifer . . .
Oh God, Lucifer.
He looks more furious than I’ve ever seen him before.
Like he’s angry at himself.
Why is he going to subject himself to this?
Unless he doesn’t want me to know whatever Azrael thinks he’s been keeping from me. Unless he hasn’t been . . .
My stomach drops.
He made a promise to be transparent with me. That everything between us would be built on truth.
The pain in my throat constricts suddenly, my body temperature rising.
But he hasn’t been transparent with me, like he said he would, like I thought he was, has he?
He broke his promise.
What could he possibly want to keep from me so badly?
“Do you know why I want to punish him, Charlotte?” Azrael says, like he can hear exactly what I’m thinking.
I shoot him a nervous look. “No.”
The pain of how he put me in my place earlier is still aching. He’ll always know Lucifer better than I do. I feel the truth in that like a jagged shard inside my chest.
“He’s been lying to you,” Azrael says. “Right from the very start.”
Lucifer’s nostrils flare. “Say another word, Reaper, and I swear I’ll—”
“You’ll do what? Use me?” Azrael shakes his head, chuckling, though the sound is crueler than it is amused. “You already have. Over and over again.”
“Azrael, I don’t think this is—”
“Ask him about the deal he and I made, Charlotte.”
My spine runs cold. “What?” I breathe.
“Ask him about the choice he took from you.”
Lucifer glares at him, his voice low and firm. “If you dare try to come between us, I will—”
“What’s he talking about, Lucifer?” I say, rising to my feet, my legs unsteady. “What did you promise?”
I sound just as lost, just as timid as I did at the start of all this.
Before he went and made me his queen.
Before I became the monster I always feared I’d be.
For what feels like the first time ever, Lucifer looks . . . panicked.
His gaze darts to me, face pale, eyes haunted. “Darling, you have to understand, you’re the only thing keeping me decent. Without you, the world would’ve burned anyway.”
“Tell her,” Azrael snarls, lip curling, his stance stiff. “Tell her what you took from her, or I will.”
Lucifer looks at me then, and what he says in that moment is a thousand times worse than anything I could have imagined. Any other trauma I’ve ever endured.
Including my father.
“There was only ever one fail-safe way to save humanity, darling. One sacrifice that could stop the seals from opening. A sacrifice that could rebalance the cosmic paradox that allowed the seals to be opened in the first place, a sacrifice that could end everything.” He swallows. “And you’re it.”
My heart shatters, my stomach clenching.
And the pain, the agony of my husband’s betrayal, is immediate.
He lied.
My vision blurs, the sharp pain in my womb tightening.
I thought he’d changed. Thought he’d given up everything for me.
But he was still letting the world burn this entire time. For me.
“When you saved me, you . . . started all of this?”
Azrael releases a slow, furious breath. “He made me promise to try and keep you alive at all costs, regardless of what happens to humanity.”
Regardless of what happened to . . .
The whole world sacrificed, because he loves me.
Even as I was trying to save it.
My life. My immortality. My choice whether to live or die.
All taken from me.
By a lie of omission.
Lucifer’s eyes meet mine, not with regret, but with a horrible, haunted certainty.
Like he knows what he’s done, and he still believes he had every right to do it.
“No wife of mine will ever play the hero,” he says, his voice low and final.
“You would’ve chosen to die, Charlotte. I couldn’t let that happen. I was protecting you from yourself.”
I choke.
“You didn’t just lie,” I whisper. “You decided my life was worth more than the world. You let me put your collar back on, knowing you’d already taken my choice away. That isn’t love, Lucifer. That’s ownership.”
And I agreed to it.
Oh God.
Walked right back into it willingly.
My collar suddenly feels tighter around my throat.
Pain ignites in the center of my palms as my nails dig into my skin and the ground begins to shake.
I start forward, legs trembling as the room blurs, the anger inside me consuming everything until I collapse, unable to control it anymore.
And everything fades to black.