Chapter Sixty-Five Charlotte
Chapter Sixty-Five
Charlotte
It’s the morning of the wedding, and I couldn’t feel more miserable.
I spend the better part of the first hour I’m awake throwing up what feels like everything I’ve eaten since we came to Paris and then some.
I don’t think it has anything to do with my morning sickness, but when I come out of the bathroom, pale and shaking, on my pillow I find a small ginger candy that looks like it might’ve come from the other side of the world.
Japan maybe?
Azrael.
I haven’t seen him much since outside the Louvre the other day, but I’ve felt him nearby, lingering. I know he’s waiting for us.
“Thanks,” I mumble, knowing he’ll hear, before I pop it into my mouth.
I glance around the suite, feeling aimless and uncertain what to do. I spent all night—awake mostly—in Lucifer’s arms, enjoying what little time we have left, but he’s been restless, up and down whenever I sleep, and clearly, he’s already started the day without me.
We’re both mourning in our own ways, I guess.
I sigh, getting dressed and mentally preparing myself.
Sleep is the one mortal habit I still have left. I like the break. From everything, from thinking, especially lately. From wondering what it’ll feel like to die.
Maybe it won’t actually be that bad. Like Lucifer said.
Not if it’s anything like being in Azrael’s arms.
And I trust that no matter what happens today, he’ll make it good for me.
A mercy. Like he said.
I get dressed in a loose-fitting Brunello Cucinelli turtleneck and a warm pair of leggings and head upstairs to the Suite Mansart, where my bridal party’s waiting. It won’t be long before I’m changing into my wedding dress anyway.
The late-morning air in Paris in January is cold, but as I pass by one of the Suite Imperial’s many windows, I realize there’s a blanket of snow over the city. It rarely snows this time of year in Paris, but a layer of white still glitters overtop everything. Untouched and pristine.
I smile, thinking of that first night in the graveyard with Azrael.
Of so many nights spent on the penthouse balcony with Lucifer.
Of when he cast the aurora borealis over the city. The first night I realized I was in love with him.
I may be walking to my own death, but joy can be found in unexpected places, it seems.
When I reach the Suite Mansart on the top floor, the atmosphere is more somber than anything. Greed’s here, and so is Imani, along with Xzander, Sophie, and a few other acquaintances, but several key people are missing.
Jax, Evie, Mia.
Along with any distant female relatives I might’ve once called family.
And Azmodeus.
I frown at the thought.
I want to dismiss what he said to me as the ravings of a madman, someone so fucked up he might never actually love somebody.
But I can’t help thinking there’s some . . . truth in it.
I have been inactive. Relying on others to save me.
Lucifer. Azrael. The other Originals.
What if I relied on myself, was as wicked and devious as any of Lucifer’s siblings?
I can’t see any other way out.
How do I fight for myself when I’m not even certain what it is I’m saving?
At least I’m not alone. I’m pretty sure Imani, Dagon, and the other demonic members of the security team have a rough idea of what’s going on, and I know the other Originals do.
Lucifer’s legions are at the ready, prepared to fight for us, but numerous as they are, they won’t be able to best a whole army of archangels, and Greed can’t keep a secret to save her life.
Even if seeing Lucifer and me at our lowest low hadn’t tipped her and the others off, the guest list would have.
All of Lucifer’s family is here.
All six other Originals, all seven archangels, including Michael and Gabriel—I guess Sloth isn’t going to be getting his little vacay to Heaven after all—along with at least fifty others whose classifications and angelic taxonomies I can’t begin to keep straight.
Our guest list is a mile long. Every angel, demon, celebrity, and power player known to man and then some. We’re going to take out as many of them as we can.
Michael would be a complete fool if he didn’t realize why we invited him here.
But he’s here all the same.
To watch us go down in flames.
Sophie spends most of the morning fussing over mine and Greed’s hair and makeup, since with Jax gone and Evie still under her brother’s lock and key, Greed’s my only bridesmaid.
Despite the dark cloud hanging over me, I manage to find a bit of joy buried beneath the chaos.
If this is my last day, I’m going to spend it happy, goddammit.
By the time it’s midafternoon and we’re less than an hour from the ceremony, I’m standing in front of the trumeau mirror in the Marie Antoinette room in one of our suites.
A four-poster canopy bed waits behind me, the gilded balustrades and the antique-style furniture making me feel like I’ve been transported to a different time.
One when another extravagant, hellish queen was waiting for the gallows.
At the hands of her own people.
The Righteous and the press are those really responsible for our current situation, after all. No matter how Azmodeus may have screwed me.
I sigh. “At least it’s not death by guillotine.”
I smooth a gentle hand down my dress. It’s a Ralph and Russo ball gown, designed specifically for me, the arms covered in lace and the bodice coated in diamonds.
Simple. Elegant.
“You look beautiful.”
I spin to find Seraph entering the room. I haven’t seen her much in the last few days, since there’s no real point in training. Not when we’re outmatched.
“Thank you.” I cast her a half-hearted smile.
She sits on the bed, patting the spot beside her, and I smooth out my skirt and join her.
“I’m sorry it has to end this way.” She takes hold of my hand.
She’s the first one to acknowledge what’s actually happening today.
That I’m going to die.
“I’m sorry too.” I squeeze her hand.
I’ve only been training with Seraph a short time, but I like her. She was the first of Lucifer’s angelic siblings to join our side, and despite how it went wrong with Azrael, I know taking the first step isn’t easy.
Leaving behind the only way of life you’ve ever known takes enormous strength.
“Are you going to fight with Michael? Maintain your cover?”
It seems like the obvious thing to do.
Why join us when we’re in a losing battle?
She shakes her head. “No. I stand by my conviction. Father wouldn’t want this.”
“So, you’ll die? For our cause? For humanity?”
She nods, and I grip her hand tighter, understanding.
She releases it, and I draw it into my lap, staring down at my engagement ring.
“I’ve been trying to wrap my head around all this.
To make sense of what my life could mean, asking myself if there’s anything I would’ve done differently, and I’ve also been thinking a lot about what you said.
About how you have doubts, about how that doesn’t change your faith, but lately my doubts outweigh everything. ”
“Mine too,” she admits.
She rubs my leg, giving my knee a reassuring squeeze, before she stands.
But what Azmodeus said has been nagging at me at the back of my mind, like an itch I can’t scratch.
Figure it out for yourself, Charlotte.
Seraph’s almost at the door when I call her name. “Seraph?”
She turns to look at me.
“Lucifer said something the other day I’ve been wondering about.”
“Oh?”
“He said that when God took his wings, your Father also took his ability to create.”
She nods. “He did. Only a few of our siblings know.”
Which means Azrael might not have known either. It would’ve been before they met.
“So, it’s true then? That Lucifer can’t have children?”
Seraph places her hand on the doorframe, her expression full of regret. “Yes, it’s true.”
I hesitate, but then I think back to that memory turned prophecy. The one Jax sent me.
To the sight of Lucifer lying there, bleeding and alone in the dirt just after his fall when Azrael found him, and the way he was . . . pleading for God’s forgiveness.
My eyes go wide.
Azrael’s been guarding him, all this time, despite being God’s soldier, but why guard him? Why try to keep bringing him back to the light, unless God believed he could be . . .
It all falls into place in an instant.
“Was Lucifer ever a part of God’s original redemption competition?” I stand suddenly, desperately looking at Seraph. “The one Gabriel issued at the start of all this? When the Originals were first brought topside.”
Seraph’s brow furrows, but she shakes her head. “I don’t believe so. Why?”
“And if it was true,” I say, stepping toward her. “If Lucifer could have children, what would that mean?”
She looks me up and down, and I turn to the side, relaxing so she can see the slight swell there, and the spark of hope in her eyes is immediate.
“It would mean that Lucifer already had Father’s redemption, right from the very start.”
Hope and joy jolt through me, and my grin widens. “Seraph, is there any chance that I could borrow the extra pair of your wings?”