8. Chapter Eight #2
I went to an all girls’ high school so I was never around boys that often and my dad never let me date. God, I would have loved to date someone of my own choosing. To experience more of life like my peers were.
The moment I realize I’m leaning into Finn’s touch, I wrench away from him. “Enough. Thank you for helping me with my dress. Now I’m going into the bedroom and you’re not joining me.”
He quirks his eyebrow and it only makes him look more handsome. “Then where am I going to sleep?”
I point at the couch. “Where do you think?”
“You’re not the boss of me, princess. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
“We’re married now, Finn, which means I have more power now. You will treat me with the respect that I deserve and nothing less.”
“Fine then. I won’t disturb you tonight. But on one condition.”
I know I’m going to regret asking but… “What condition?”
“You take the rest of your clothes off. It’s the least you can give me since I don’t get to touch my wife on our wedding night.”
“I am not taking my clothes off.”
“Why not? I’ve already seen you naked.”
Because that was different. I was forced to remove my clothes because he made me pee myself. But to take my clothes off now would be different. It would be too vulnerable.
Too intimate.
“I’m not falling for your tricks,” I grumble.
“It’s not a trick. Take your bra and panties off and then I’ll leave you alone for the night. I’ll sleep on the couch like a good husband.”
“You won’t try to touch me?”
He raises one hand. “Scout’s honor.”
“You weren’t a boy scout.”
“I was actually. When I was a kid. Aiden and I both were.”
That admission draws me up short. Finn actually volunteered information about his past to me.
“Well… fine,” I snap. “As long as you leave me alone.” With a deep breath, I slip my bra off. Finn’s eyes soak up my breasts and the desire on his face makes me feel more powerful. He wants me. Maybe I can use that to my advantage.
When I take off my underwear and his eyes go straight to my pubic mound, I feel a fluttering of… something in my stomach. What would it be like for Finn to grab me and ravage me right in this moment?
That’s the last thing I want, obviously.
The thought of Finn touching me makes me want to vomit.
But… deep down, I’m not sure it does. Deep down, the idea of Finn touching me makes me warm. It makes me…
No. I can’t even go there. I despise Finn and nothing will ever change that. It doesn’t matter how he’s looking at me right now. It’s only because he’s hot. If he were ugly, I would hate him more. I can’t let his good looks get the best of me.
“Had your fill?” I snap.
His eyes lazily move over my body until they settle back onto my own eyes. “I’m good now. You look good enough to eat, princess. You should know that.”
“Thanks. I’ll take that into consideration. I’m going into the bedroom now.”
“Wait.” His tone isn’t harsh. It’s commanding and forceful but also slightly soft.
“What?”
“Don’t you want to see me too?”
I blink. “What? You… see you naked?” The thought almost makes me lose my breath.
“Why not? It’s our wedding night. We might as well see each other naked if we’re not going to fuck.”
“I don’t want to see you naked,” I say, crossing my arms but that only draws more attention to my breasts so I quickly drop my arms to my sides.
“No? Ok then. But if you come down later in the night, don’t be surprised if you find me sleeping on the couch, naked.”
“You’re gross.”
“Am I? Do you really think that?” He saunters over to me and I hold my ground. I will not show fear for anything. “Come on, princess. Do you really not want to see me naked? Tell me the truth. If you don’t, I’ll stop pushing it. But if you do, don’t lie to me.”
Damn him. Of course my curiosity to see Finn naked is strong. Is his body as beautiful as his face? Probably more so.
I can’t let him win this. It’s not fair that I’m the only one naked.
So why don’t I want him to be naked?
I think if I see all of him, it will make me feel closer to him and that’s not something I can stand.
“Don’t lie,” he reminds me.
If Finn gets naked, then that gives me some power. I won’t be the only vulnerable one.
“Fine,” I snap, making up my mind. “Get naked. Show me.”
His smirk tells me he thinks he’s won. Slowly, he takes off his clothes, like he’s in no hurry. It’s making me impatient.
When his shirt comes off, all I can think is that his chest is a work of art. All muscle and strength. Hair and strong ridges. My fingers twitch from the urge to touch him.
That is the last thing I can do.
Finn winks as he takes his pants and underwear off. The sight of his penis is…
It’s something I don’t want to look away from. It’s slightly erect. He wants me. That thought makes another flutter happen in my stomach. No. I push it away.
I want to look away too but I don’t dare. If I do, Finn will know he’s won. He will see my fear.
“Like what you see?” he asks.
I have to play this cool, so I shrug. “I’ve seen better.”
His smirk disappears and is replaced with a stoic scowl. “You’ve seen better? I know for a fact that you’re a virgin, princess.”
“Doesn’t mean I haven’t seen any penises before. I’ve watched porn.”
“Have you now?”
“I have.” I keep my head held high.
Finn captures my face between his hands. I force my breath to steady. “How much porn have you watched?”
“Does it matter?”
“It matters to me. I need to know how my cock compares.”
“It’s fine. The men in the videos I’ve seen were much bigger. You’ll just never be able to compare.”
“Careful, princess.”
“Or what? You’ll hurt me? You need me, Finn. You won’t hurt me.”
His fingers tighten on my face. “I could snap your neck right here, right now.”
“Then do it.”
His eyes say so much and yet nothing at all. I can’t make sense of it. With another smirk, he lets me go. “You got me there, princess.”
“You’re not as tough as you make yourself out to be.”
“Say that to all the people I’ve killed.”
I shiver. He’s not a man I can be flirting with. He’s a monster. A villain. “You’ve seen me naked and now I’ve seen you. I’m going to call it a night.”
“Princess,” he calls out as I head for the stairs. I know I shouldn’t stop but I do. “When you finally let me fuck you one day, you’ll take back everything you said about my cock. You’ll be begging me for more.”
“That will never happen,” I hiss at him.
“Never say never.”
With a huff, I run upstairs and slam the door shut behind me. Then I shiver. Without Finn’s warmth, I’m suddenly cold. I dive under the blankets and squeeze my eyes shut and convince myself to fall asleep.
It doesn’t happen.
The sight of Finn’s naked body haunts me the entire night. It makes my stomach flutter.
It makes the spot between my legs warm. I wanted him to touch me tonight. I wanted him to kiss me.
I must have Stockholm syndrome. That’s the only explanation for how I feel. Otherwise, I’ll have to admit to myself that maybe I don’t hate Finn as much as I say I do.
Finn
Aria’s naked body consumes my dreams and when I wake up, I find that I’m rock hard. I take care of it in the shower. When I come, I think of Aria on her knees before me, my cock in her mouth. I’ve had hard-ons for women before but nothing this intense. Nothing this consuming.
I want to make her fully mine. I’ve never cared about a girl enough to make her mine before. What is Aria doing to me?
To distract me, I take on another job to make some extra cash. Before I leave for the day, I make sure to lock the bedroom door while Aria is sleeping so she can’t escape again. We may be married but that doesn’t mean she’ll abide by that.
The new job I take is from a man who wants his wife murdered. A lot like the doctor situation. His wife has more money than he does and he wants it.
I meet up at a bar to meet the man and collect my money than I head off to kill the woman.
I watch the home for a few hours to make sure no one stops by. The husband told me he was going to be at work all day while his wife stayed home.
The wife’s name is Sarah Williams. A simple name. A simple life. One I’m going to end. I’ve already made a hundred grand and I’ll receive the rest once I kill the woman.
When no one arrives, I slip my ski mask on and break into her house. I hear Sarah in the living room. She’s watching TV.
As I tiptoe closer, I see that she’s not alone.
She has a baby with her.
She and the baby are on the ground, playing some sort of game you play with children. I don’t really know since I know nothing of kids.
She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. A girl judging by her pink onesie.
Jack, Sarah’s husband, never told me they had a baby. He also didn’t tell me that Sarah was young. As in her early twenties. As in, close to Aria’s age. She kind of resembles Aria with her blonde hair too.
This poor girl doesn’t even know what’s going to befall her.
I stand in the doorway to the living room, watching them, and not making a sound. It would be so easy to shoot her in the back of the head from here. I could make it so she didn’t have to feel any fear before she died.
But when would Jack return home from work? The baby would be on her own until then and I didn’t sign on to kill babies. I may be a colossal asshole but I draw the line at children. I will not murder a child or baby.
If I kill Sarah right now, the baby could get hurt and that doesn’t sit right with me. I remember being abused by my father when I was a child. I remember how scared I was. I would be doing the same to that baby.
Sarah is innocent like Aria is and yet, I’m screwing up her life. Or, I will in a moment when I can get my feet to move.
But… why can’t I move? Sarah means nothing to me. She’s a job like any other. Killing her should be easy.
So why can’t I pull the fucking trigger? I can’t even seem to lift my gun to point it at her head.
“Who’s my favorite baby?” Sarah asks her daughter, making the baby laugh. Jack didn’t tell me everything.
Move, I tell myself. Just kill her. Do your job.
But… I can’t. I fucking can’t. I can’t hurt Sarah and her daughter. For the first time since I’ve become a hitman, I can’t do the job I was born to do.
I tiptoe out the back door and hurry to my car and drive off. Jack will be pissed I didn’t do my job but I’ll just kill him instead. Sarah is better off anyway. She won’t know it but she will be.
I didn’t kill anyone, I think in awe as I drive away.
I showed empathy for once in my life.
All I know is that I’m changing and I’m not sure if it’s for the better or not.